You Must Love Me
by rebeldivaluv
Summary: Brady and Chloe. Meant to be. Soulmates. Too bad Philip didn't see it that way. Complete.
1. Chapter One

You Must Love Me

**Chapter One**

She had never wanted to be anyplace less in her life.  As she sat alone in the waiting room and listened to the click of typing hands, she wondered if she could just slip away unnoticed.  She wiped a non-existent spot of her dark blue skirt, straightened her jacket, and patted her hair, swept back in a severe bun.  At least she looked the part of a businesswoman, instead of what she really was, a desperate wife hoping for a favor.

"He'll see you now," the receptionist announced as she returned.  "Just straight through that door."

Chloe stood and braced her shoulders.  She had to do this.  For Phillip.  She tried to keep a firm step as she crossed to the office door.  She took a deep breath and entered his office.

"Good day, Mrs. Kiriakis," Brady Black said formally, getting to his feet.  He was dressed nothing like she remembered him, in a designer label business suit, complete with tie.  Even the chin she remembered as always being so wonderfully scruffy, was clean-shaven.  Brady Black had most certainly grown up.  "Have a seat."  He actually came out from behind his desk and pulled out a chair for her.  It was an unexpected civility.

"Thank you," Chloe murmured as she sat down.

Brady returned to his black leather chair.  "Now, how may I help you?"  There was nothing in his expression or the tone of his voice that let on that she was anything more than a business acquaintance.

Chloe hated his indifference.  If he had been angry, she could have fought him.  If he had been bitter, she could have pitied him.  But no, he had to sit there and act like she meant nothing to him at all.  Maybe she didn't.  Maybe he had forgotten all about those few short months they had spent together.  Maybe he didn't still relive their one incredible night together.  Maybe he didn't remember how he had sworn he would always love her.  She wished she could forget.  She _needed to forget.  In a way, those memories were a betrayal of Phillip, of her vows.  But they still crept up on her, taunting her with the question, "What if?"_

"Mrs. Kiriakis?"

"Oh, sorry," said Chloe, coloring as Brady's words penetrated her trance.  "My mind must have wandered.  Anyway, Bra—Mr. Black, you know the reason I'm here, to beg you to reconsider.  You can't take Titan away from Phillip.  You just can't.  It's his legacy."

Brady's face was like granite to her pleas.  "It was my grandfather's legacy, and Phillip is on his way to running it into the ground.  Wouldn't you rather I stepped in than some complete stranger?"

"I don't care about the company!" Chloe spat out.  "I care about Phillip, and the thought of losing Titan is killing him.  Please, Brady, he's family to you."

"Yes, he is," said Brady, still appearing unmoved.  "Which is why I'm not just turning him out on the street.  I've made him a more than generous office, and he'll still be in an executive position."

"A token job," Chloe protested.  "He'll sit behind a desk and read reports and have no say whatever in what happens in his company."

"And you think that's a bad thing?  I'm sorry, Mrs. Kiriakis; but from the moment your husband took over Titan, his foolhardy decisions have been causing the business to flounder.  For the survival of the company, it is essential that Phillip be removed from any kind of leadership role."

"You think you can do better?" challenged Chloe.

"I don't think, I know," Brady replied firmly.  "Over the last five years, I've taken Basic Black from a start-up company to a multi-billion dollar international corporation; and that's a hell of a lot harder than keeping an already successful business afloat."

"Well, it's nice to see your ego's still functioning properly, Brady Black," Chloe told him in a voice laden with sarcasm.

"And it's nice to see you've matured so much since high school," he shot back.  "But then I guess you never needed to."

Chloe flinched.  "What's that supposed to mean?"

Brady eyed her coolly.  "Simply that I doubt your life with Phillip has been a real growth process."

Chloe was brimming with rage, but she couldn't think of an appropriate response to his comment.  Mainly because it was true.  After she had been rejected from Julliard, she had cut things off with Brady abruptly.  Phillip had been right there waiting for her.  Soon after graduation, she'd let herself be talked into marrying him.  But things between herself and Phillip had never changed, even with their marriage.  He was still jealous one minute and apologetic the next.  She still kept him shut out of huge areas of her heart.  Chloe felt the need to deflect Brady's knowing stare.  "I assume then, since this conversation has wandered so off-course, that your answer is no."

Brady shook his head.  "I guess I was wrong.  Phillip has influenced you.  The Chloe Lane I knew would have fought back.  Too bad.  And I'm sorry; but I'm not walking away from Titan.  Like it or not, I'm part of your life now."

"Not mine," said Chloe, jumping out of her seat.  "Maybe Phillip's, but not mine."

In a matter of a few seconds, Brady had come around the desk and stood only inches away from her.  "What's the matter, Chloe?" he asked huskily.  "Afraid I might try something?  Or that you might like it?"

His smooth, deep voice was intoxicating her.  The very nearness of him was giving her shivers down her spine.  Reluctantly, she made herself back away, breaking the spell.  "I think we're through here," Chloe said, almost managing to control the tremor in her voice.  "I'm leaving now."  She turned on her heel and marched resolutely to the door, not giving him the satisfaction of looking back.

Brady watched her leave, an ache forming in the pit of his stomach.  God, after all this time, she still took his breath away.  He had spent years trying to forget her, first in alcohol, then in women, finally turning to work.  Work had given him a purpose.  He had thought he had finally exorcised her from his system.  What a laugh.  "Let's face it, Black," he said aloud.  "You're stuck.  She's in your blood."

He wondered if anyone else could see the things about her that he noticed in the first few moments of their conversation.  She was too thin and pale, like she hadn't been well for a long time.  There was a resignation in her voice which all his attempts to rile her hadn't been able to shake away.  And her eyes held a quiet desperation and a deep sadness.  She was miserable.  How come no one else could see it?

He had stayed away from her since her marriage.  Just being in the same room as her tormented him.  He knew she would never be his, and he could have lived with it if Phillip had somehow managed to make her happy.  But obviously, Phillip had failed.  Surprise, surprise.  So then and there, Brady set himself on a quest.  He was going to make sure that Chloe was happy.  No matter what it took.

~~*~~

Chloe Kiriakis entered the mansion with the by-now familiar feeling of depression.  This house was just too big.  And lonely.  Ever since Belle and Shawn had joined the Peace Corps and gone off to see the world, she didn't really have any friends.  Friendships were just too difficult to maintain with Phillip around.  He was constantly calling just to "check up" on her.  If she was home five minutes late, she had to endure a twenty-minute interrogation.  She had discovered Phillip was easier to deal with if she just stayed on her own.

After changing into more comfortable clothes, Chloe went to the kitchen to start dinner.  They had fired the cook after things had started to go badly for Titan.  Chloe didn't mind cooking, but Phillip looked upon it as some huge mortification, that his wife would have to do her own housework.  She didn't tell him that she was relieved to have it.  Even mundane chores were better than doing nothing at all.

She was only twenty-three, but she felt old.  Old and tired.  Five years of marriage to Phillip had dragged on like fifty.  She told herself she stayed with him because of her vows, but it had more to do with an unnamed fear.  A fear of what he would do.  Phillip had a sudden and violent temper, something she had known before her marriage but had chosen to ignore.  There was no ignoring it anymore.  Not that he ever hit her now.  No, after the first few months of her marriage, she had learned that if she simply let Phillip have his way in everything, he would be as sweet and gentle as he was when they first started dating.

Her mind wandered back to her meeting with Brady.  God, he looked good.  Except for a certain harder line to his mouth, which she had always remembered as intoxicatingly sensuous, he hadn't changed a bit in five years.  Of course, she'd seen his photograph in the papers dozens of times in the interim, mostly in connection with his large strides in the business world; but occasionally, she caught a blurb about him in the society pages, always with a different, beautiful woman on his arm.  She always felt a twinge of jealousy when she saw that.  She knew it could have been her.  She knew that if she hadn't rejected him, he would have stayed with her forever.  He had offered her his heart, no strings attached.  And she had run away as fast as she could, because he wasn't safe, because he could hurt her.

Phillip was predictable, easy to understand.  She knew how he would react to any given situation, which made him controllable.  With Brady, she was never quite sure what he was going to say and do next.  That idea frightened her more than anything Phillip could do.

Chloe heard the front door slam and busied herself setting the table.

"Hi, honey, I'm home," Phillip announced, coming up behind her and kissing her neck.  She forced herself not to stiffen.

Chloe faked a smile.  "So how was your day?"

Phillip shrugged.  "Well, I've lost the company.  As of tomorrow, the takeover will be effective.  I have a meeting with Nicole tomorrow morning.  She'll be filling me in on the specifics of my new job."

Chloe recognized the bitterness in Phillip's voice.  Phillip was bitter about a lot of things lately.  He had been ever since his mother shot his father and was sent to prison.  No doubt if Kate had been acquitted, she would have protected her son from such a business failure.  Phillip blamed Nicole, both for the lovers' spat that had effectively robbed him of both parents and for the decline of Titan.  Chloe knew better, though she wisely kept her mouth shut.  

It had been Phillip's constant attempts to manipulate his parents that had been the guiding force in Kate's action.  And Phillip had fired Nicole as soon as he took over the company.  A reckless, stupid move.  Nicole had simply walked through the doors of Basic Black and taken most of Titan's secrets with her.  So while Basic Black had flourished with Nicole and Brady at its head, Titan had been left with Phillip and Austin running the show.  It was hard to believe it had taken this long for Titan to go under.

Chloe didn't care much about office politics.  But she had her own reasons to hate Nicole.  The latest in Salem gossip said that she and Brady Black were lovers.  Chloe shuddered.  The whole idea was repulsive.  Brady deserved someone better than that.  He deserved someone like…

_You? Asked a tiny voice inside her head._

_No, of course not, she answered back.  __I'm happily married.  She twisted the gold band on her finger self-consciously, knowing she was deliberately lying to herself. _

"Chloe, have you heard a single word I've said?" asked Phillip irritably.

"Huh?  What?  Oh, sorry."  Chloe looked up from her plate, where she had been playing absently with her food.  "What were you saying, darling?"

"I asked what happened at your appointment today?  Did the doctor have any answers to why you can't get pregnant?"

Chloe felt a chill run through her.  She always did when he brought up this subject.  Phillip wanted children.  Two sons, to be exact.  She had fought him on it for a long time, before finally giving in to his wants.  Or so he thought.  Chloe smiled inwardly.  If Phillip knew she was taking birth control pills and hiding them from him, he would totally lose it.  Which was part of the fun.  It was her own silent rebellion.

Chloe had always been afraid to have children, always been afraid she would abandon them like she had been abandoned.  But since her marriage to Phillip, her fear had grown astronomically.  A child would bind her to Phillip for life.  It would mean the end of any small hope that she could leave him someday.  And what if Phillip took out his anger on their kids?  She couldn't handle that. 

"That doctor said there's no reason I shouldn't be able to have kids.  He thinks there's something wrong with you," she said coldly.  _Like the way you touch me makes my skin crawl, she added silently.  She remembered her one magical night with Brady.  He had made her feel things she'd never even dreamed possible.  But Phillip never took time to consider her needs, only his own.  Sex was not a pleasant word in Chloe's vocabulary._

Phillip turned scarlet.  "There's nothing wrong with me!" he bellowed.

"Yes, dear," replied Chloe docilely, always the dutiful wife.  "Whatever you say."

~~*~~

"You're still here?" questioned Nicole, entering his office.

Brady shrugged.  "So are you."

Nicole sank into one of the plush chairs in front of Brady's desk.  He barely even glanced at her.  He was making notes on a financial statement.  She smiled, thinking of what Salem society would say if they knew how things really stood between herself and Brady.  Oh, Nicole had heard all the ugly rumors.  Everyone knew she had slept her way to the top at Titan.  It was only natural that they would assume the same now.  But Brady wasn't Victor.  Brady wasn't any guy she'd ever known.  He had hired her to get the inside track on Titan, and he had promoted her because of her talent and brains.  He had never once laid a hand on her.  It was so infuriating.  She'd certainly sent him enough signals.

"Did you want something, Nicole?" Brady asked, momentarily looking up at her, before once again burying himself in his work.

"I heard you got a visitor today," she began, with seeming nonchalance.

"I had several," he replied absently, still not paying any attention to her.  "Who are you talking about?"

"Chloe Kiriakis," Nicole replied casually.  Brady's head flew up, the report forgotten.  She had done what she wanted.  She had his undivided attention.

"What about it?" asked Brady, a distinct warning in his barely controlled voice.

"I was just wondering what she came to talk to you about."

"That's none of your business, Nicole."  His eyes told her that she was pressing her luck.

Nicole shrugged.  "Fine.  I'm supposed to meet with Phillip tomorrow.  What exactly is his job going to be?"

Brady tapped his desk with a pen for a few seconds.  "Something public relations oriented, I think.  Something that takes him out of town a lot."

Nicole's eyes narrowed to cat-like slits.  "Sending Phillip away, Brady?  Why is that?  So you can nail his wife?"

Brady gave her a withering stare.  "My personal life is none of your business, Nicole.  You work for me.  Now, so does Phillip.  He'll do what I tell him to."

"At work, maybe," Nicole warned.  "But I doubt Phillip will be so eager to let you take his wife away from him.  Try it, and I'm sure we'll see World War III break out in Salem."


	2. Chapter Two

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Two**

Chloe woke up with a smile on her face.  Not only had she had the most wonderful dream, but Phillip was gone.  He'd be gone for three full weeks.  Oh, she loved his new job!  She was so glad she hadn't talked Brady out of taking over Titan.  

Brady.  She'd dreamt about him again last night.  She had every night since she saw him again at Basic Black last week.  She knew it wasn't right, knew that on some level it was infidelity.  But she couldn't be expected to control her subconscious.  And she had Brady on the brain.

The phone rang impatiently.  "Hello?" asked Chloe sleepily, picking it up.

"Good morning, Chloe, honey.  Do you miss me?"

Chloe suppressed a groan.  Already calling to check in.  "Phillip, you called me last night; and you only left yesterday."

"So you don't miss me?" asked a wounded Phillip.

Chloe sighed, glad he couldn't see the exasperated expression on her face.  "Of course I miss you, darling.  How long are you going to be gone again?"

"Three weeks."  Chloe smiled.  Those were the two most beautiful words she'd ever heard!  "I wish I could have taken you with me," he simpered.

Chloe rolled her eyes.  "It's a business trip, Phillip.  I understand."

"So what are your plans for the day?" Phillip demanded.

"Oh, I don't know," Chloe replied airily.  "Maybe some shopping, or I could catch up on my reading."  _Just as soon as you let me off the phone, you Nazi, she thought._

"Oh, have fun then.  I have to run.  I love you."  He paused expectantly.

She knew the drill.  "I love you too," she recited automatically.  "Goodbye."

"Bye.  I'll talk to you tonight."

Chloe slammed the phone down.  Like hell, he would.  For the first time in five years, she was free.  She wasn't about to wait around for his call every night.  And she'd leave her cell phone home, too.  She was taking no chances.

~~*~~

Two hours later, while stirring her cooling tea disconsolately in the Java Café, Chloe came to a disturbing realization.  She had no life.  All of those things she had given up to make Phillip happy left her with nothing to do now that he was gone.  She had no friends, no job, not even the skills to get a job.

"Chloe, right?  Mind if I join you?" came a cheery voice.

"Princess von Hamburg!" Chloe exclaimed, immediately jumping to her feet.  "It would be an honor."

"Oh please, none of that," said Greta, waving for her to sit down.  "I'm just Greta, all right?"

Chloe nodded and smiled.  She didn't know Greta very well, but she always seemed like a nice, friendly sort of person.  "Okay…Greta."

Greta sat down across from Chloe and put down her armload of shopping bags.  "So how have you been?" she asked politely.

Chloe shrugged.  "Fine, I guess."  There was no need to bother the princess with her insignificant problems.

"How's…Phillip, is it?"

Chloe nodded.  "He's fine.  He's out-of-town at the moment on a business trip."

"And so you're out on a shopping spree?"  Greta looked pointedly at Chloe's one small bag.

Chloe laughed self-consciously.  "To be honest, I don't quite know what I'm doing.  I'm kind of at loose ends today."

Greta nodded her understanding.  "I know the feeling.  Some days my life is so boring I can't stand it."

"What do you mean, Prin…I mean, Greta?  I would think that being a princess would never leave you with a dull moment."

"Maybe once upon a time that was the way it worked.  But honestly, if it wasn't for the big deal people make over me sometimes, I'd forget all about my title.  After all, a princess isn't much good without a country."

Chloe smiled.  "So what does a modern-day princess do to fill her spare time?"

"Well, on this particular day, this particular princess is meeting a friend for coffee and then volunteering at a daycare facility for low-income families."  She paused and glanced at Chloe, seemingly measuring her up.  "I don't suppose you'd want to come with me?"

"Um, no thanks, I'm not very good with children," said Chloe, shifting uncomfortably.

"I doubt that," said Greta.  "But I shouldn't have put you on the spot like that.  I'm sorry."

"No, it's all right.  It's—"  Chloe stopped mid-sentence when she saw Brady Black buying coffee a little ways off.  Outside of the office, he still dressed the way she remembered.  He was wearing a blue sweater and black jeans.  Damn!  Why'd he have to look so sexy?

"Earth to Chloe," called Greta, waving her hand in front of Chloe's face.  

Chloe reluctantly dragged her eyes away from Brady.  "Oh, I'm sorry, Greta.  I must have spaced out."

Greta laughed.  "Don't worry about it.  I do that all the time."

Chloe smiled.  Greta was really a sweet person.  Maybe the kind of person she could become friends with.  She could really use a friend.

"Hello, ladies," a familiar deep voice said.

Chloe glanced up at Brady, becoming a pronounced shade of red.

"Brady!" exclaimed Greta, jumping up and giving him a kiss on the cheek.  "You're late."

"Sorry about that," Brady shrugged.  "I had a meeting I couldn't get out of.  Here."  He handed her a french vanilla latte, her favorite.

"Thanks, Brady.  Sit down.  You don't mind if Brady joins us, do you, Chloe?" asked Greta, glancing down at a rather stunned Chloe.

Chloe was too bewildered to make any objection.  Brady and Greta were friends?  Since when?  "Uh, what?  Yes.  I mean, no.  I don't mind."

Brady grinned at Chloe's obvious fluster at seeing him.  It made him feel better about the electric charge he got just being near her.  "Thank you, Mrs. Kiriakis," he said formally, pulling up a chair.

Chloe felt a mixture of anger, pain, and guilt as Brady addressed her by her married name.  She hated that he could treat her so distantly now.  She hated that he had to. And she hated the reminder that she was legally bound to someone else.  She chose to ignore these feelings however and responded just as coolly, "Good morning, Mr. Black."

Greta looked between the two, wrinkling her nose.  "My word, you two are more formal than most royalty I've met.  Brady, this is Chloe.  Chloe, this is Brady," she said, putting added stress on their names.  "I think you two have met before."

If Greta had been a less formidable woman, she would have melted dead away at the angry glares Chloe and Brady shot her.  As it was, she shifted uncomfortably and started talking, seemingly aimlessly.  "You know, I love the fall.  The leaves tuning colors, and that crisp autumn air.  It's so good for your lungs.  In fact," she added, gathering her packages in a rush.  "I need to go inhale some of it right now."  She stood up.

"I'll go with you," Brady and Chloe exclaimed at the same moment.

"No, no," said Greta, gesturing for them both to sit down.  "That's silly.  Finish your coffee.  Catch up on old times.  And Chloe, if you change your mind about those kids, here's the address."  She pulled a slip of paper from her purse and handed it to Chloe.  "Bye now," she said cheerfully, practically skipping away.

_Damn Greta, thought Brady with a grimace.  And damn himself for trusting her with some of his most hidden feelings for Chloe.  Apparently, Greta's desire to play matchmaker even overcame obstacles like marriages.  "So, Mrs. Kiriakis," started Brady pointedly.  "Enjoying your temporary freedom?"_

Chloe just glared at him.  "You know, Mr. Black," she responded icily, continuing his habit of using last names.  "If you were as smart as you think you are, you'd realize your company is not wanted."

"Now, now, Chloe, is that any way to treat an old friend?" asked Brady, in mock reprimand.

"Oh, so it's Chloe now, is it?" retorted Chloe angrily, even as she told herself to remain calm and not let him get to her.  "Please let me know, Brady, when you're going to acknowledge me and when you're not.  It's impossible to tell with you."

Brady shrugged.  "Well, I can't exactly call you Diva anymore, can I?  Or even diva-wannabe because you don't want to be a diva.  Do you?" he asked, the carefully searching look in his eyes belying the light tone with which the question was asked.

Chloe's eyes flickered with some emotion.  What was it?  Hurt?  Anger?  Regret?  Whatever it was, it was gone in a flash.  "That is a non-issue.  Besides, if you insist on staying at my table, I get to pick the topic of conversation; and I choose you."

Brady raised his eyebrows.  "Really?  I'm flattered.  What do you want to know?"

"For starters, how did you and Greta get to be such good friends?" Chloe asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.

"Ah, that.  We serve together on the boards of several charities."  He shrugged.  "It's impossible to know Greta and not love her."

Chloe felt a pang of jealousy.  Brady loved Greta?  But she was too old for him!  "So are you two close?" she asked casually, hoping her voice held no trace of what she was really feeling.

"I don't know," said Brady harshly, her question bringing back painful memories.  "I'd like to know what you think of as 'close,' Chloe.  Were we close?"

Chloe winced at the anger and bitterness in his voice.  Could she blame him?  She had callously smashed his fragile heart and left him to pick up the pieces.  "Brady," she said quietly, fighting back tears.  "I'm so sorry.  For all of it."

Brady clenched his jaw.  He hadn't meant to reveal that much of his pain to her, that pain that would never heal.  "Just forget about it," he said, getting up.  "It was a long time ago.  See you around."  Without waiting for her response, he turned and walked away.

Exercising great self-control, Chloe waited until he was out of sight before she let the tears fall.


	3. Chapter Three

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Three**

Chloe studied the address on the slip of paper Greta had given her.  She looked back up at the large, old, but well-maintained building.  Kids were playing in the large fenced-in yard.  It reminded her of a group-home she'd stayed at once growing up.  The memory was not a pleasant one.  "What am I doing here?" she mumbled to herself, turning to leave.

"Chloe!  I'm so glad you came!" cried Greta, coming towards the gate with an entourage of small children in her wake.  

"Actually, I—"

But Greta cut her off.  "Hey, kids, I want you to meet a friend of mine."  She beckoned Chloe into the cluster of little people.  "Kids, this is Chloe Kiriakis.  Chloe, meet Jenna, Ryan, Seth, Bryce, and Chrissy," she said, patting each child's head in turn.  

Chloe stared down into five little pairs of eyes, feeling overwhelmed and out-of-place.  "It's nice to meet you," she said awkwardly.

"Are you a princess too?" asked the girl Greta had introduced as Jenna.

Greta laughed, and Chloe managed a small smile.  "No.  I'm afraid I'm not."

"What are you then?" demanded Bryce, a small boy with loads of blonde hair and huge blue eyes.

"Well, I'm…I'm…"  Chloe couldn't think of an answer.  Who was she?  What was she doing with her life?  Once those answers had been so clear to her, but now they were utter blanks.

"She's a singer," said a familiar male voice behind her.  "With the voice of an angel."

Chloe whirled around.  Was he following her?

"Brady!" yelled Seth, throwing himself towards the tall man.

"Hey, kiddo," said Brady, picking him up and swinging him around.

"Brady's here!" shouted one of the kids across the yard; and Chloe literally had to jump out of the stampeded of children rushing to surround Brady.  Chloe watched in shock as Brady affectionately greeted them all by name.  Could this be the same Brady she knew?

"It's sweet, isn't it?" commented Greta, smiling at Chloe's obvious fascination with Brady.  "The kids adore him.  It's the same sight every week."

Chloe glanced in astonishment at Greta.  "He comes here every week?"

Greta nodded, watching as Brady organized the kids into teams for Red Rover.  "He's so good with kids.  He'll be a great father someday," she said absently.  "Anyway, since he's got the kids out here so well in hand, how about I show you around inside?  You'll get a chance to see what we're all about."

~~*~~

[A/N:  Yes, I know that there are no actual poor people in Salem.  But go with me on this, okay?]

"We manage to provide free, high-quality childcare to sixty-four low-income families in and around the Salem area," explained Greta as she led Chloe through the front office.  It was easy to see she'd led this kind of tour many times before.  It was also easy to see that she was passionately committed to this project.  "Mostly single working mothers.  The program is run entirely on charitable donations, many of which are provided by local businesses."  She opened a door to her right.

Chloe walked in, seeing several older children with books spread out over tables, obviously doing homework.  About a dozen state-of-the-art computers lined the walls, where yet more children were doing research or playing video games.  A man was moving from child to child, inspecting work and answering questions.

"Mr. Woods!" Chloe exclaimed, recognizing him.  

He looked up and smiled when he saw Chloe and Greta.  "Chloe Lane, what a nice surprise.  I haven't seen you since graduation.  So, are you opening at the Metropolitan yet?"

Chloe flinched but tried to maintain her smile.  "No, Mr. Woods.  I stayed here.  Phillip and I have been married five years now."

"Oh," Mr. Woods commented, hiding his disappointment.  He hated when his students let their dreams die.  "So, what brings you here?"

"I'm showing her around, Malcolm," Greta answered.  "I'm hoping she'll become one of us."

"You really should, Chloe," he urged her.  "We could always use more volunteers.  Penelope runs herself ragged keeping this place running."

"Penny volunteers here, too?" asked Chloe, surprised.  How had she allowed herself to fall so out-of-touch with all of her acquaintances?

"No, she's actually the only full-time paid member of the staff," Greta informed her.  "And what a God-send she it!  We couldn't possibly get along without her."

"Or you either, Greta," Mr. Woods put in.  He turned to Chloe.  "The princess here is too modest to talk about her own part in this, I know.  But the whole project was her idea.  She's the one who went to Brady and set everything in motion."

Greta wrinkled her nose at Malcolm's praise.  "Oh, stop it!  I only suggested the idea.  Brady's the one who made this place into a reality.  Without Basic Black's continued financial support, this place would cease to exist.  Brady's responsible for those computers you see over there.  In fact, he's responsible for this facility and just about everything in it.  He even gives his employees time off to volunteer here.  You can't imagine all he's done for us over the past few years!"

Chloe tried to take all this in.  Apparently, Brady was some kind of hero in Greta's eyes.  Well, why shouldn't he be?  From what she'd said, Brady was the driving force behind this whole project.  Chloe tried to reconcile this image of him with the angry young man she had connected to one night on a pier seven years ago.  Had he really changed that much, or had that goodness always been lurking under the armor he put on?

"Anyway, Chloe," Greta continued.  "As you've no doubt already guessed, this room is set aside for the children to do their homework in.  The rules are simple.  Homework first, play second.  We try to have a teacher from one of the local schools here in the afternoons every Monday through Friday."  

Saying goodbye to Mr. Woods, Greta led Chloe to the cafeteria where they served three square meals a day.  Even in Greta's modesty, Chloe picked up on the fact that she had spearheaded the effort to convince local restaurateurs to donate food supplies in exchange for tax exemptions.  Next, Greta showed her to the nursery and playroom for the very young children, where three little old ladies were taking care of more than a dozen children under the age of three.  

"A sewing circle from the Senior Citizen's Center," Greta told her in a whisper.  "Alice Horton brought it to their attention.  There's so many of them I can never remember all their names.  But they're all perfectly sound in mind and body.  And they have a lifetime of experience from raising children and grandchildren.  They say this makes them feel needed."

Chloe nodded along absently.  Why was Greta going through all this with her?  What did she expect?  Chloe didn't have a clue how to interact with kids, and she wasn't sure she wanted to learn.  Greta continued her tour through an arts and crafts room, a library, and a game room, all devoid of people at the moment.

"We find it's easier if we keep all the kids in fewer areas," Greta explained.  "We need fewer volunteers that way.  Except for the little ones and the ones with homework left to do, the kids go outside on most nice afternoons.  There's just the one room left to show you now."  Greta opened yet another door and flicked on the light.

Chloe followed her inside and quickly took in her surroundings.  A piano was pushed up against one wall; a group of chairs were stacked on the wall opposite it.  A large, circular rug occupied the center of the room.  Next to the piano was a guitar on a stand, along with stacks of sheet music and music stands.  On a few shelves over the chairs were boxes containing small, child-suitable instruments, like recorders, maracas, and tambourines.  In the far corner of the room, a well-equipped stereo system was set up, with a substantial collection of CDs.  Bright wallpaper was covered with posters of musical scales.  

"You have a music room," said Chloe, smiling fondly.

Greta watched Chloe's reaction out of the corner of her eye.  She smiled, too.  "Yeah, it was Brady's idea.  He thought at the time he might be able to start a children's choir.  But he's just not going to have the time.  It would take a lot of effort to make it happen."

Chloe nodded her agreement absent-mindedly.  "Not to mention someone who knew enough about music to get a large group of children to sing on-key and in harmony."

"Yeah.  That's what Brady said.  I'd love to help, but I can barely carry a tune myself."  Greta sighed dramatically.  "So I guess we'll just end up leaving this room empty."

"That's too bad.  Isn't there any—"

Her question was cut off as Penelope stuck her head in the door.  "Sorry to interrupt, Greta; but have you seen Meghan?"

"Don't tell me she's disappeared again," Greta groaned.

Penny nodded glumly.  "That's the second time this week."

Greta sighed.  "Excuse me, Chloe.  I need to take care of this.  Would you mind waiting her for a few minutes?"

"Not at all," said Chloe pleasantly, relieved she wasn't being asked to join in the search.  "Do whatever you have to."

"Thanks," Greta called over her shoulder as she followed Penny out the door.

Chloe wandered aimlessly around the room.  She plucked a string of the guitar and cringed.  It reminded her of Phillip and the times he had come to serenade her outside her window.  She used to find the gesture sweet.  Apparently, love not only made one blind, but deaf as well.  Now, she couldn't stomach his singing.  It was like fingernails on a chalkboard.  

She remembered the power and beauty of Brady's voice as he had hypnotized her by singing "Music of the Night."  It was as if he had put some sort of spell on her as he sang.  If she closed her eyes, she could still almost feel his arms around her, his warm breath on her neck, the echo of his words.  "_Floating, falling, sweet intoxication!  Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation…"  Unconsciously, Chloe began to hum the haunting melody.  _

"What are you doing here?" came an accusatory voice.

Chloe whirled around and saw a girl standing in the doorway.  She was maybe nine or ten with dishwater blonde hair pulled back in a French braid and wide, deep brown eyes.  "I could ask you the same thing," Chloe challenged, unsure how to relate to this small personage.

"Getting away from them," the girl answered, jerking her head towards the window where the sounds of laughing children could be heard.

Chloe nodded, understanding.  It was the kind of thing she would have done at that girl's age.  Hell, wasn't it what she still did?  "I see.  You must be Meghan.  Everyone's looking for you."

Meghan looked at her warily, sizing her up.  "You're not going to tell on me, are you?" she begged.  "I just come here to be alone sometimes.  I don't cause any trouble.  Honest."

Chloe gave her a reassuring smile.  "Your secret's safe with me.  I'm a loner too.  My name is Chloe, by the way."

Meghan smiled back, but distrust still lingered in her eyes.  "Are you going to start a choir here?"

"What!?" exclaimed Chloe.  "Where'd you hear that?"

Meghan shrugged, taking a tentative step closer to her.  "I heard Princess Greta talking to Brady about it.  They want you to.  So are you?"

Understanding settled over Chloe's features.  So that's why Greta had wanted her to come so badly.  "I don't know.  I don't really know how to talk to kids," Chloe confessed.

Meghan took another step into the room, a little more confidently this time.  "You're talking to me, aren't you?"

Chloe thought about it for a moment and then laughed.  "Well, yeah, I guess I am."

Meghan came a bit closer to Chloe.  There was only about four feet between them now.  It was as if Meghan measured trust in terms of feet and inches.  "Brady says you have a beautiful voice.  Do you…"  She stopped and bit her lip.  Then, she said in a rush, "Do you think you could sing for me?"

Chloe froze.  She hadn't sung in years.  She was afraid that once she started, all her love of music would come rushing back; and she'd realize anew all she'd given up.  "I'd love to, Meghan; but there's no one to accompany me, so you see…"  She spread her hands in apology.

To her surprise, Meghan grinned.  "Oh, if that's all, I can help."  She darted quickly past Chloe and sat down on the piano bench, her fingers resting lightly on the keys.  "What do you want to sing?"

Chloe's mouth dropped in shock.  "But…but you don't have any music," she stammered.

"That's okay," Meghan announced nonchalantly, with all the innocence of childhood.  "I play by ear.  Name your song; and if I've ever heard it, I'll be able to accompany you."

Chloe didn't believe it.  There was no way this little girl was a child prodigy.  Intrigued enough to forget her earlier reluctance to singing, Chloe moved to stand next to the piano, where she could watch Meghan's hands.  "Okay, anything in particular you'd like to play?"

Meghan thought for a moment.  "My mom loved Andrew Lloyd-Webber, so I know pretty much everything he's written."

Chloe was impressed.  Was it possible this girl was telling the truth?  "Okay.  Do you know 'You Must Love Me' from the movie _Evita?" asked Chloe, naming one of her favorite pieces._

Meghan nodded.  "You start, and I'll find your key."

Chloe couldn't believe she was doing this.  But she opened her mouth and allowed the first lines to flow from her mouth:

_"Where do we go from here?_

_This isn't where we intended to be…"_

Chloe watched and listened as Meghan's fingers began to float along the keys, hitting ever note effortlessly, making the music come alive.  She truly was a prodigy.  Closing her eyes, Chloe gave herself over to the song, allowing the lyrics and melody to carry her away.  Back to the time when music consumed her soul…

_"We had it all_

_You believed in me _

_I believed in you…"_

She let memories pour over her, memories she had tried to suppress for so long.  She was done trying to fight a useless battle.  Brady's face swam before her closed eyes.  She could feel his presence like a balm to her wounded soul.  She wrapped her arms around herself and remembered what it felt like to be in the arms of a man she truly loved, with all her heart.  He had done everything for her.  He had put up with her stupidity time and time again, as she ran back to Phillip and her twisted view of love.  He had taught her how to sing with her soul.  He had opened her mind and her heart, and given her the wings to soar.

_"Certainties disappear_

_What do we do for our dream to survive?_

_How do we keep all our passions alive_

_As we used to do?..."_

And now the emptiness of her life consumed her.  All her dreams had turned into ashes, and she had no one to blame but herself.  She had been the one to walk away, run away actually.  And she was paying the consequences, as she would for the rest of her life.  But oh, if she could just go back in time, she would get it right this time.  She swore she would.  She wouldn't allow fear and her low self-worth stop her from holding on to the one good thing that had ever happened to her.

_"Deep in my heart I'm concealing_

_Things that I'm longing to say_

_Scared to confess what I'm feeling_

_Frightened you'll slip away_

_You must love me_

_You must love me…"_

As Meghan took control of the song, with a resounding instrumental break, Chloe opened her eyes to watch her play.  It was at that moment that she noticed Brady standing in the doorway watching them both, spellbound.  Her eyes locked with his; and for an instant, she thought she glimpsed the same love in his eyes that she used to see every time he looked at her.  But how could that be?  How could he still love her after all that she had done to him?

_"Why are you at my side?_

_How can I be any use to you now?_

_Give me a chance and I'll let you see how_

_Nothing has changed…"_

His gaze was lighting a long dormant fire inside of her.  She could almost feel the heat searing them together.  If he kept looking at her like that, she was going to forget herself, forget Phillip, forget everything except the memory of how it felt to be in his arms.  Could it be possible that he felt the same way, or was she just fooling herself?  She wanted to run to him, but knew she couldn't.  It could only end in heartbreak for both of them.  So as the final chorus of the song began, she poured her heart into the notes, telling him with music what she would never be able to say with words.  And asking that unspoken question:  Did he love her?

_"Deep in my heart I'm concealing_

_Things that I'm longing to say_

_Scared to confess what I'm feeling_

_Frightened you'll slip away_

_You must love me_

_You must love me_

_You must love me…"_

The final notes of the song floated away.  Using a strength she didn't know she possessed, Chloe pulled her gaze away from Brady and looked at Meghan.  The girl had unshed tears shimmering in her eyes.  "That was beautiful, Meghan," she complimented her sincerely.  "You have a real gift.  How'd you learn to play like that?"

"My dad.  He's—he was, a concert pianist.  He said I'd be better than him someday."  Meghan stopped, biting her lip to keep from crying.  "I'd better go now."  She stood and turned around, spotting Brady for the first time.  "Brady, I can explain…" she said quickly, panicking.

He gave her a reassuring smile.  "It's okay, Meghan.  You can play the piano anytime you want, just ask permission next time first, okay?"

Meghan nodded, relieved.  "Okay."

"Now get downstairs," he ordered.  "Penny and Greta are going crazy looking for you."

"Okay," Meghan said again, with much less enthusiasm.  She turned to Chloe.  "I hope you come back again."  Then, she impulsively threw her arms around Chloe's waist and clung to her.

Chloe had never been more surprised.  She patted Meghan's back awkwardly.  What exactly was she supposed to do about this?  She glanced over at Brady, but he only gave her a smile and nod of encouragement.  "Um, sure I will, Meghan," she promised.

Meghan pulled away, beaming at her.  "Great.  See you later.  Bye, Brady."  She skipped out past Brady, who gave an affectionate tug on her braid as she passed.

Silence fell once Meghan had left the room.  To break away from Brady's unsettling stare, Chloe turned and ran her fingers along the ivory keys.  "She's incredibly talented," Chloe remarked absently.  "A prodigy."

Brady nodded.  "This is the first time she's let anyone hear her play since she started coming here.  I don't know what you did, but you obviously connected with her."  Brady left his place at the doorway and came to stand near the piano, at the opposite end from Chloe.  

Chloe didn't know what she had done either.  But somehow she knew that she and Meghan had understood each other from the very moment they met.  Not unlike herself and Brady.  "Tell me about her, Brady."

Brady sighed deeply.  He knew that Meghan's story would pain her.  It hit too close to home.  "Like she said, her father was a concert pianist.  I think her mother was a musician too.  I'm not sure what kind exactly.  They died in a plane crash last year.  She didn't have any other relatives, so she's been in and out of foster homes ever since."  He saw the flash of pain in her eyes.  "I'm sorry, Chloe," he said quietly.

Chloe quickly shook her head, blinking back tears.  "Forget about it.  It's no big deal."

"It is a big deal, Chloe," he said fervently, stepping closer to her.  "If anyone can understand what Meghan's going through, it's you.  You could really help her.  And maybe, just maybe, she could help you too."

Chloe looked up at him, searching his eyes.  Who exactly was he worried about?  Meghan?  Or her?  "I'm doing just fine," she lied.  "I don't need any help from anyone.  Not from a silly, little girl.  And certainly not from you!"

Brady frowned darkly.  Who did she think she was kidding?  He knew her as well as he knew himself.  Maybe better.  And Chloe was not fine, not even remotely close.  But he didn't want to push the issue yet.  He knew his Diva, and she couldn't be pushed too quickly.  "Okay," he said in surrender.  "So, did Greta show you around?"

Chloe nodded curtly.  "Yes.  So, Brady, was it your idea to try and manipulate me into starting a choir?"  Her tone was accusatory.

His eyes flashed defensive anger.  "It was my idea, yes.  But no one's trying to manipulate you into anything.  That's Phillip's deal, not mine.  I suggested the idea to Greta, under the assumption that you needed an outlet for your music.  Was I wrong?" he asked, his tone daring her to lie to him.

Chloe broke eye contact.  Damn him!  How could he still read her so easily after all this time?  "I don't know what you think you know about me, Mr. Black.  But there is nothing I'd enjoy less than spending my free time with a group of bratty kids."

"I think you're wrong.  Not lying, but wrong.  You'd be surprised at how much you'll come to love them," said Brady with a fond smile.

Chloe looked back at him, trying once again to decipher the enigma that was Brady Black.  "What happened to you?" she asked, torn between curiosity and admiration.  "What happened to the guy who scared the hell out of the entire town of Salem that could possibly turn him into such a bleeding heart?"

"You did," Brady answered with quiet solemnity.

Chloe drew back as though she'd been punched in the gut.  "Me?  What did I do?"

"You made me feel.  You made me confront my demons and start to heal," he confessed, taking a step towards her.  Chloe met his straightforward, honest gaze and tried to separate all the emotions flooding out of him.  "When you turned away from me, when you married Phillip, I tried to get that anger back.  But I couldn't.  I was still too in love with you to hate.  But obviously, I needed another outlet for my feelings.  So when Greta came to me with her idea, I jumped at the chance to help out.  Helping these kids has given me a purpose to my life, a joy I didn't think I could feel.  It could do the same for you, Chloe."

Something in Brady's words awakened a deep yearning in Chloe's soul.  Maybe it was his admission that he had loved her too much to let it sour into hate.  Maybe it was the passion in his voice as he spoke.  Or maybe it was the look of peace and contentment on his face.  But whatever the cause, Chloe felt like he was throwing her a lifeline.  And she grabbed onto it, knowing that this might be her last chance to escape the ruin she'd made of her life.  "All right," she said quietly.  "I'll try and organize that choir, but I'm not making any promises."  

Brady's face broke into a smile that warmed Chloe's frozen heart.  "You'll do fine, Chloe," he reassured her.  "After all, five years of marriage to Uncle Phil should have given you plenty of experience dealing with children."

Chloe knew she should take offense, knew she should rush to her husband's defense.  But staring into Brady's light blue eyes, she did the only thing she could do.  She laughed.  Not a short, light, mirthless laugh, like she'd taken to emitting lately, but a gut-wrenching, uncontrollable, belly laugh.  Soon, Brady had joined her.  They were laughing so hard it was impossible to stop.

"Um, did I miss something?" asked Greta, appearing in the doorway, her mouth turning up at the corners.

Slowly, Chloe and Brady came back to their senses.  Turning to Greta, Brady announced smugly, "I've accomplished your mission, princess.  Meet our new choir director."

"Really?" exclaimed Greta, beaming.  "Oh, that is so great!  Thank you so much, Chloe!"  Always impulsive, Greta threw her arms around Chloe and gave her a huge hug.  Chloe hugged her back awkwardly.  It was good to have friends again.


	4. Chapter Four

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Four**

The next three weeks practically flew by.  Chloe was at the daycare every single day, teaching the kids the most basic elements of music and choral singing, discovering how to make the best use of the kids with actual talent, while not excluding those less musically inclined.  Difficult, but fun.  Brady had been right.  This was lighting a fire under her.  Not only had she rediscovered some happiness in expressing herself through music again, but she found that she actually enjoyed spending time with the kids.

Especially Meghan.  That girl had latched onto Chloe from the first day they met.  She refused to sing in the choir, but Chloe had convinced her to be their accompanist.  As much as Meghan made a show of not caring, Chloe knew that she was glad to be singled out.  It felt good to be special again, and not just another face in the crowd.  Chloe could identify completely.

She saw Greta almost everyday.  They were becoming fast friends.  Aside from being one of the funniest people Chloe had ever met, Greta was the kind of person who just made you feel better about yourself.  She was truthful and caring, a sympathetic listening ear.  All in all, a true princess.

And then there was Brady.  She only saw him on the days when he came to volunteer, but her heart never failed to give a little leap at his presence.  He seemed to like seeing her too.  He'd greet her with a wink and a smile; and before he left, he'd make sure she'd laughed at least once.  He'd sat in on choir practice one day; and at the kids' request, his voice had soon filled the room.  Chloe had thought her heart would break through her chest at the beauty and power of it.

Chloe sighed as she tidied up the music room.  She was working impossibly slow.  She didn't want to go home tonight.  Tonight was the night Phillip was coming home.  She didn't want to see him, didn't want his presence to bring back her depression.  It had been heaven without him.  She hadn't avoided all his telephone calls, but enough of them to know that she was going to face a livid Phillip when she finally did come home.

"You're here late.  You know that all the kids have gone home, right?"

Chloe felt an automatic smile tug at the corners of her mouth when she heard Brady's light greeting.  She turned to face him.  "Just cleaning up.  What about you?"

Brady shrugged.  "I saw a light was still on.  Thought I'd check it out."  He gave her a penetrating look.  "So, afraid to go home?"

Chloe's back stiffened.  "What makes you say that?" she asked cautiously.

"Well, unless my calendar is wrong, today is the day dear Uncle Phil returns.  Frankly, I wouldn't want to go home to that either," he taunted.

"What do you know about anything?" Chloe retorted defensively. She didn't want him to know her that well.  She didn't want him, of all people, to know what a sham her marriage really was.

"I notice you don't say I'm wrong," he said quietly.  She looked into his eyes and saw no judgment, no condemnation, only gentle pity.  She didn't want his pity.  She didn't need it.

Chloe lifted her chin defiantly.  "Of course you're wrong.  I can't wait to see my husband."

The corners of Brady's mouth tipped up in bemusement.  "You always were a terrible liar, Chloe.  It's nice to know some things never change."

She thought about making another denial, but what was the point?  He'd just see through it.  Funny, she never had any trouble deceiving her husband.  But then, as Brady had once said, Phillip didn't have a clue in hell who she was, and never would.  Brady knew.  Even if she didn't always know herself, Brady did.  Knowing her only safety was in silence, Chloe returned to straightening up the already spotless room.

Brady frowned, watching her.  Why wouldn't she fight with him?  Why didn't she defend herself or Phillip or both?  The Chloe he knew wouldn't let him get away with a remark like that without throwing back a few darts of her own.  What had Phillip done to her?  Brady's jaw clenched.  He knew very well what.  Phillip had crushed her spirit.  "So I was thinking," said Brady, with a nonchalance he didn't feel.  "Since we both obviously want to be anyplace but home right now, how about we grab a bite to eat?"

Chloe's head shot up.  That sounded suspiciously like a date.  She locked gazes with him but couldn't read anything behind the casual invitation.  She twisted her wedding ring self-consciously and saw Brady's eyes flicker to it.  What was that look in his eyes?  Scorn?  Regret?  Loathing?  "I don't think that's such a great idea," said Chloe with as much strength as she could muster, which frankly wasn't much.  "People might get the wrong idea."

The corners of Brady's mouth twitched.  "Since when does Chloe Lane care what other people think?"

"I'm not Chloe Lane anymore, Brady," she replied, with an unmistakable note of sorrow in her voice.  "I'm Mrs. Phillip Kiriakis.  I have a reputation to protect."

"Ah, yes.  We couldn't have precious Phillip's good name sullied, now could we?"  Brady's voice was riddled with derision, and his eyes were blazing with anger.  Chloe was glad to be across the room from him.  "Do you ever stop to ask yourself what you want anymore, Chloe?  Or is it all about Phillip?"

"I'll tell you what I don't want," Chloe answered angrily.  "I don't want to be treated like this by you.  If I wanted to be lectured and degraded, I'd just go home!"   She couldn't believe what she'd just said, couldn't believe she'd let him get under her skin enough to give away some of her pain in her rage.

Brady immediately picked up on it.  "Chloe, I'm sorry," he said softly, crossing the room to stand near her, although not trusting himself enough to touch her.

Chloe knew he was talking about more than their argument.  He was sorry that she was unhappy.  He was sorry that all her dreams had died.  He was sorry for it all.  Tears pricked her eyes.  After all she had done to him, how could he stand there apologizing to her?  God, she could throw herself at his feet, beg his forgiveness for a thousand years, and still not erase the guilt of what she had done.  She had been gifted with a love most people only dreamed of; and with her eyes wide open, she had walked away.  And still, he stood there, worried about her, caring for her.  She had never felt more inadequate in all her life.  She wanted to take him in her arms, wanted to hold him close to her and never let go; but she knew she couldn't.  She would never cause him anything but more pain and heartbreak.  

She didn't have the right to ask for another chance.  She didn't even have the right to ask for forgiveness.  Swallowing the lump in her throat, Chloe forced herself to keep to a safe subject.  "We were friends first, Brady.  You once said I could never lose your friendship, Brady.  Please tell me I still have it," she pleaded.

Seeing her so overcome with pain, Brady couldn't stop himself.  He reached out and caressed her cheek gently.  Their eyes rushed to each other's, feeling the same shock of sensation.  It was the first time they had touched in five long years.  Each felt as if a missing piece of their souls had been returned to them.  Brady dropped his hand quickly, unprepared to react that way.  "Of course you do, Diva," Brady assured her, when speech returned to him.

Chloe smiled fondly at the old nickname.  There was no better way he could have showed her what she still meant to him.  "I used to hate it when you called me that," she recalled.

Brady grinned.  "And now?"

"Well, it's better than Mrs. Kiriakis, at any rate."  She smiled as Brady laughed.  How she loved to hear him laugh!

"So, now that we're friends again, want to reconsider that dinner?"

Chloe glanced at her watch and felt her heart sink.  "I can't," she said sadly.  "It's almost eight now.  Phillip's going to be wondering where I am."  

Brady's face grew instantly darker at the mention of his uncle's name.  "At least let me give you a ride home," he offered.

"No!" Chloe snapped too quickly.  She didn't even want to imagine how Phillip would go off if he saw her with Brady after all this time.  "I mean, my car's here.  I can drive myself."

"Okay," agreed Brady, resigned.  He had seen the panic in her eyes.  He wondered how bad things really were for Chloe at home.  If Phillip did anything to physically harm Chloe, Brady would kill him.  That's all there was to it.  "Let me walk you to your car," he added, unable to let her go quite yet.

Chloe nodded and shut off the light as they left the room.  They walked in companionable silence down the darkened hallways, their footsteps echoing strangely.  Chloe wished he would take her hand as he used to when they walked together.  But he didn't, so she stuffed them deep into the pockets of her jacket.  It turned out to be the smartest decision she could have made.

Brady noticed the gesture and misinterpreted it.  "Cold?" he asked.

"A little," she replied truthfully.  Her world was turned upside down as his arm went around her shoulders, pulling her towards him.  She had forgotten how perfectly she fit in his arms.

"Has Great talked to you yet about the Christmas benefit?" Brady asked as they left the building.

"Yeah, I just hope I can have the kids ready in time," Chloe confided.

"You will," he replied confidently.  "I've seen you work with them.  It's incredible the way you've managed to organize them in such a short time.  They adore you."

Chloe was glad for the cover of night that hid her blush.  It was unlike Brady to compliment people so openly.  "Not as much as they love you.  I can't believe big, bad Brady Black has such a heart of gold."

"Shh," said Brady, in mock reproach.  "Don't let that get around, will you?  It might make closing deals a hell of a lot harder."

Chloe giggled.  "Your secret's safe with me," she promised.  They had reached Chloe's car, but still stood talking beside it, each reluctant to let go of the peace they found only in each other's company.

Brady cleared his throat nervously.  "You know my offer still stands, Chloe.  How about dinner?  You could tell Phillip you were at the Wesley's or someplace."

A chill surrounded and captured Chloe's heart, reminding her of what she was risking just standing here.  "He'd know I was lying.  I haven't seen Craig and Nancy in years."

"What?  Why?" asked Brady, shocked.  Had she been cut off from everybody since her marriage?

"It's not important," said Chloe, in a tone that left no room for discussion.  She slid inside her car.  "Night, Brady."

"Good night, Diva," he said sadly, watching her drive away.  Was there no end to her suffering?  What kind of hell was she going back to?

~~*~~

Lights were burning brightly in the living room and foyer as Chloe drove up to the Kiriakis mansion.  It was the one thing Phillip had managed to hold onto.  Well, besides her, of course.  Chloe swore under her breath as she headed inside, knowing she was going to pay for those few extra moments of freedom.

"Where the hell have you been?"  Phillip predictably turned on her the moment she entered the house.

Chloe felt rebellion growing inside of her.  What right did he have to run her life?  Wasn't she allowed any privacy?  Wasn't she allowed a life?  She wasn't ready to give up her newfound sense of self-respect this quickly.  "Out," she said coldly, turning to go up the stairs.

Phillip stopped her, blocking her path and grasping her arms so tightly she cried out.  She knew it would leave a bruise.  Not that it would be her first at his hands.  His eyes narrowed dangerously; and he jutted out his chin, a sure sign that she was in trouble.  "Excuse me?  What kind of explanation is that?  I get home after three long weeks, and I found the house empty, no message, no note, nothing to tell me where you'd gone.  For all I knew, you were dead in a ditch somewhere!"

Chloe knew very well that he hadn't feared for her life.  He hadn't thought she was dead.  He had thought she left him.  His greatest fear, and her most secret desire.  "Well, I'm fine, as you can see.  Now, would you please let go of me?"  She struggled against him, but his grip was like iron.

"Not before you tell me where you've been!" he roared, his eyes flashing fire.  He thought the worst of her.  He always did.  

Chloe sighed, giving in.  What was the point of fighting it?  He'd make her tell him sooner or later; and the sooner she got this over with, the less misery he'd put her through.  "I was at the Salem Children's Center.  Princess von Hamburg asked me to organize a children's choir.  Sorry I didn't tell you."  

Phillip's hold on her gentled the slightest bit.  "You're working with a kids' choir?" he asked, shocked.

Chloe's expression was blank.  She felt the numbness take over, the cold, dead feeling she got whenever she was with her husband.  "I thought you wanted us to have kids.  Don't you think I should have some experience with them before we do?" she asked, knowing the illusion that she was doing this for him would help smooth things out.

She knew her husband well.  The terrifying look on his face instantly cleared, replaced by an apologetic smile.  "That's my Chloe, always thinking ahead.  I'm sorry I was so suspicious.  It's just I missed you so much these past few weeks.  You missed me too, right, baby?" he asked, that old puppy-dog look returning to his face, the one she'd once found so endearing and now realized was just another tool for manipulation.

"Of course, darling," she lied, running her hands through his hair.  Damn, he needed a haircut!  He'd had the same nasty, girly, greasy hair since she'd known him.

He grinned at her response and kissed her.  She accepted it, but couldn't bring herself to respond.  Even the small fire Phillip's kisses had once been able to light in her had flickered and died a long time ago.  Now all that was left was a terrible loneliness at the memory of other lips that had once scorched her with their passion, a passion she had whole-heartedly returned.

~~*~~

Brady Black was having another sleepless night.  He went to his balcony and looked out over the glittering lights of Salem.  He had chosen this apartment for this balcony.  He liked to watch the city below him.  It made him feel separated from it all.  No one could touch him up here, except for her.  He couldn't forget her, no matter how hard he tried.

She tortured him in his nightmares, crying out to him to save her, causing him to wake drenched in cold sweat.  She haunted him in his dreams, reaching out to him, kissing him with a remembered fire and a love that had obviously died a long time ago.  And she kept him awake, making him turn over every word, every look, every touch she had given him until they were burned into his brain.  Waking or sleeping, his Diva refused to be forgotten.

And now, she was back in his life, in an indirect way.  But she was still Phillip's wife.  She belonged to him.  She was no doubt sleeping in his arms tonight.  Even the thought made him feel murderous.  How could Chloe, his Chloe, who had given him her precious innocence now respond to the touches of his uncle?  Did she cry out Phillip's name as she had once screamed for Brady?  Did she lay with her head next to Phillip's heart, claiming that their hearts beat as one?

Brady groaned aloud, running a hand over his face.  Why did he torture himself this way?  Why couldn't he just let go of her?  It had been five years, for God's sake!  He had dated and bedded dozens of women in the interim, all beautiful, all more experienced than Chloe.  But while their faces had quickly slipped into oblivion, hers was forever imprinted in his brain.  She was like a drug to him, having had one taste of her, he could never have enough.

Finally feeling the chill, Brady stepped back inside.  He went to his desk drawer and pulled out a photograph, not that he needed it to see her image.  He caressed her smiling image from where she sat nestled between his legs in the swing.  Belle had taken the picture of them as they had gone to the park for a picnic.  It had been a perfect day.  There had been so many perfect days.  

"Why, Chloe?" he whispered hoarsely.  "Why did you leave me?"  He had tried to get an answer from her, but she had refused to give him one.  And he refused to stoop to Phillip's level and fail to take no for an answer.  If she didn't want him, then he'd simply remove himself from her life.  But now he wondered how wise he had been.  There were moments over the past few weeks when he could swear she still looked at him the same way.  He could almost swear she still loved him.

"God forgive me," he breathed.  "But if she does, the rest of the world be damned, I'm going to win her back."  Feeling somewhat comforted by his vow, Brady replaced the picture and went back to bed.

~~*~~

Chloe slipped noiselessly from under Phillip's arm, as he lay snoring beside her.  She wrapped her robe around her, feeling disgusted with him and most of all with herself.  God, she felt so cheap.  Almost like a whore.  How could she feel so dirty from sleeping with her own husband?  She didn't need to answer that.  She knew why.  Phillip used her for his own pleasure; and she let him, even though he meant nothing to her.

Chloe crept out of the room and downstairs, into a rarely used parlor of the Kiriakis mansion.  This was one of her favorite rooms in the house, but Phillip refused to enter it.  It made sense.  After all, it was the room in which his father had died.  Chloe didn't think about that though, as she went to a tall mahogany cabinet in one corner.  She pulled a secret lever and a drawer popped open.  She took out a large box and produced a key to unlock it.  She took no chances with this.  It held her most treasured possessions.  

Gingerly, she lifted the lid and removed the items one by one.  A friends forever necklace from Belle.  Chloe fingered it, knowing that she didn't have to hide it.  Phillip wouldn't care; but somehow, she didn't want him connected to any part of her life, whether he approved or not.  Putting the necklace down, Chloe moved in quick succession past various memorabilia involving her high school friendships with Belle, Shawn, and Susan.  Comforting memories, but not the ones she needed right now.

She paused when she got to a letter from Craig and Nancy upon her graduation telling her how proud they were of her, how much they loved her.  Tears blurred her eyes.  How she missed them!  She pulled out a family portrait of them and stared at the beloved faces.  She had truly come to think of them as her real parents during her last year of high school.  Brady had certainly helped a lot.  But Phillip had managed to ruin even that for her.  She pushed those thoughts aside.  Craig and Nancy weren't who she wanted to dwell on either.

There it was.  She pulled out the cuddly teddy bear and held it close to her.  Brady had given it to her while they were dating.  She had told him about never having one while she was growing up, and he had listened.  Now, holding the bear, she felt as if she still held a piece of Brady's heart.  She wished she still had some pictures of him, but Phillip had destroyed all of those.  No doubt if he knew that Brady had given her this bear, it would have been burned as well.  But she didn't need photographs to recall her true love's face.  Phillip was foolish to think she could ever forget.

"God forgive me," she breathed.  "But I'm going to break my vows.  If he wants me, he can have me, even if I rot in hell for it.  I'm his, now and forever.  I'm his."  Kneeling there, on the hard wood floor of her husband's house, Chloe Kiriakis dissolved into wracking sobs for the pain she had inflicted; and the pain she knew she would continue to cause the people she loved most in the world.  


	5. Chapter Five

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Five**

"So you're sending Phillip away again.  What a shock!"

Brady glanced up at the angry woman sitting on the edge of his desk in a skirt so short it ought to be illegal.  "Was there something I can help you with, Nicole?" he asked, his calm nonchalance in sharp counterpoint to her ferocity.

"Yeah, you could help me understand what it is about Operagirl that has you willing to risk life and limb to have her," Nicole replied snidely.

Brady sighed wearily.  Nicole's jealousy was not only misplaced but was also becoming extremely annoying.  "Nicole, for the last time," he said slowly, stressing every word.  "My personal life is none of your business."

"Then let's stick to the professional side of it," said Nicole, her tone become immediately clipped and brusque.  "It's bad public policy to sleep with your employee's wife.  Especially if said employee lost his business as part of a hostile takeover led by you.  Especially if you are related to said employee."

Brady couldn't deny the justice of her arguments.  But he could ignore them.  Besides it was none of Nicole's business, and she should damn well keep out of it.  He stood up and moved swiftly to the door, throwing it open.  "Since you obviously have nothing important or constructive to say, would you kindly get back to work?"  He spoke calmly, but his eyes warned her not to challenge him.

Nicole reluctantly stood up and faced him.  She let her gaze travel the length of him, sending him a clear invitation.  "You're wasting your time and talents on a girl like that," she purred.

Brady was repulsed.  Did Nicole really think her audacity was a turn-on?  "With all due respect, Nicole, you don't have a clue how much a woman like Chloe is worth.  Now, would you please get back to work?"

Nicole's eyes narrowed dangerously.  How had Chloe managed to cast such a spell over normally rational Brady?  And how could he reject her advances and still do it in a way that left her feeling more valued and important than a dozen other men's caresses?  She had never met a man who had resisted her as long as Brady Black.  She had never met a man she wanted more.

~~*~~

Chloe took one last look in her compact mirror.  She didn't know why she was doing this.  She wasn't in the mood to go out at all.  Phillip was gone again, but the guilt she felt over her marriage and her adulterous thoughts still haunted her.  But it was near impossible to say no to Greta once she got her mind set on something.  And Greta was convinced that what Chloe needed was a night out.  Sighing, Chloe rang Greta's doorbell.

After a moment, the door was thrown open.  Brady whistled low and long as he took in every inch of her in her slinky black dress.  Her hair was loose and flowing in waves down her back, as opposed to pulled back in the bun she had taken to wearing lately.  "Diva, you look gorgeous.  Does Phillip know you have a dress like that?"

Chloe just stood there, dumbfounded.  What was he doing there?  And why did he have to look so gorgeous?  He was dressed simply, in a white, button-down shirt, open at the collar, and black slacks.  It wasn't the clothes so much as it was just him.  She tried to remember a time when he had failed to raise her heart rate and couldn't.  "Um, Brady, what are you doing here?" she stammered, blushing as he noticed her appraisal of him.

"Greta invited me along.  Didn't she tell you?"  He looked hurt, worried that she might not want him there.

"She didn't, but that's okay," Chloe reassured him.  "I'm glad you're coming."

He smiled at her.  She smiled back.  Their eyes locked, and time seized to exist.

"Brady, what are doing making Chloe stand like an idiot in the hallway," Greta scolded, pulling him back from the door.  She smiled warmly at Chloe.  "Hey, come on in.  I'm almost ready.  Just looking for an earring."

Chloe followed Greta back into the apartment, watching in amusement as her friend ransacked the room searching for the missing piece of jewelry.  Greta's normally spotless apartment was rapidly beginning to look like a tornado had hit it.

"We could be here a while," Brady muttered under his breath.

Chloe hid her giggle behind her hand.  "Um, Greta, need some help?" she offered.

"What?" asked Greta, her hearing muffled as her head was buried in the couch cushions.  "Aha!" she exclaimed, emerging with the glittering ruby clasped triumphantly between her fingers.  She didn't seem to notice that more than the room had become a complete disaster in the search.  "I found it!"

"Bravo," applauded Brady while Chloe clapped.  

Greta gave a sweeping curtsy and slipped the earring in.  "Now, I think we're ready."

"Uh, not quite, Princess," said Chloe, eyeing the tangled mess that passed for Greta's hair.  "You might want to look in a mirror first."

Greta flew to a mirror and gasped aloud at the wreckage of a style that had taken her nearly an hour to create.  She groaned.  "This is going to take forever to fix."  That old familiar gleam came into her eyes again as she glanced at her two friends.  "Why don't you two just go out, and I'll join you later?"

"That's okay, Greta," Chloe responded too quickly, not daring a glance at Brady.  "I don't mind waiting."

"Nonsense," said Greta, ushering them towards the door.  "I want you to have a fun night out.  Don't waste it waiting for me.  In fact, I'm feeling a little tired.  I might just stay in."  She threw the door open and practically shoved her friends out on the landing.  "Goodnight.  Have fun."  Smiling, she slammed the door in their faces.

"Do you have the feeling we've been set up?" asked Brady, with a wry smile.

The corners of Chloe's mouth tipped up.  "That's our Greta.  Nothing if not subtle."

Brady turned to fully face her.  "So, how about it?  Want to come out with me?  Or still too worried about Phillip's good name?" he challenged.

Chloe wavered only momentarily.  "Let's go."

~~*~~

Chloe had only been to The Blue Note once or twice.  Phillip always preferred Tuscany's; and as with most things, Chloe let him have his way.  But she liked the quiet ambience of this place.  And she liked being in a place with Brady that was untarnished by memories of her husband.  

"You're awfully quiet," Brady commented, giving her one of his famous penetrating stares.  "Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing," answered Chloe, surprised that he thought there was.  "Actually, I was just thinking how much happier I've been since I started helping with the choir.  And I was thinking how I owe it all to coming to see you about Phillip and Titan that day."

"About that, Chloe," Brady stated seriously, his eyes probing even deeper into hers.  "Why did you come to me that day?  And don't tell me that line about how it was all for Phillip, because I don't believe you truly give a damn."

Chloe's eyes flickered, but she offered no defense.  How could she?  But she had no answer for him either.  At the time, she had convinced herself it was for Phillip, but she knew better even then.  "I don't know why," she replied quietly, staring at her hands.

He hated when she did that, broke eye contact in an attempt to shut him out.  He tipped her chin up gently.  "Yes, you do, Chloe," he prodded.  "Tell me.  Why did you come?"

Her eyes were icy.  Why was he putting her through this?  Why was he making her look into areas of her heart that were better shut away forever?  "I don't know," she declared, more firmly this time.  "Please don't ask me again."

Brady exhaled loudly.  He knew she was afraid to admit even to herself the depth of her feelings for him after all this time.  And truly, what right did he have to push her?  It was one thing for him to admit that he still loved her, but it was another thing altogether for her.  She was the one who was married.  She was trying to make the best of a horrible situation, trying to stay faithful to her husband even though she didn't love him.  She was being honorable.  

So what did he do?  He sent her husband away on business.  He arranged for her to come into close working contact with him.  He attacked her weaknesses.  For a moment, Brady saw his role in a different light and was stricken with guilt.  "Come on," he said firmly, taking hold of her wrist.  "You're going home."

"What?" she exclaimed, pulling away and glaring at him.  "Who the hell do you think you are?  First, you practically dare me to come out with you.  And now, you order me to leave.  I've had enough of this, Brady Black.  I'll do what I want from now on.  And I want to stay here."  She crossed her arms huffily, daring him to challenge her.  

Brady let out an exasperated sigh, settling back down.  At least no one could say he hadn't tried to do the right thing.  The truth was he didn't have the strength to try again.  He didn't care if he burned in hell for this.  There was nothing in the world he wanted more than to be with his Diva tonight.  She was still glaring at him, angry at being bossed around.  "God, you're sexy when you're mad," he breathed.

Immediately, Chloe's whole demeanor changed.  Her arms dropped limply to her sides, and her face flamed.  "Oh," she responded eloquently.  The way he was looking at her made her weak all over.  Feeling the need to break the spell he cast on her, Chloe averted her gaze, glancing around at the other people in the club.  

"Damn!" she cursed, noticing the couple that walked in and doing her best to slink further into the shadows.

"What?" asked Brady, turning to follow her line of vision.  "Mimi and Jason?  So what?"

"So they're Phillip's best friends," Chloe hissed.  "They can't see me here."

Brady didn't comment.  He just dropped some money on the table, took her hand and pulled her out the back exit.  He walked quickly to the jeep, so quickly she almost had to run to keep pace with him.  She could tell he was angry, disappointed with her.  But unlike Phillip, he had no intention of taking his anger out on her.  Only once they were safely on their way, did he speak.  "Where to?" he asked, only the slightest tinge of irritation in his tone.

Chloe winced.  Why couldn't he just scream at her for being such a hypocrite?  Anything rather than this.  "I don't care," she said quietly.  "Just don't take me home.  I'm not ready yet."

Brady nodded curtly and turned the opposite direction from the Kiriakis mansion.  They drove in silence for a while, and Chloe knew if she didn't say something they might very well stay silent for the rest of the trip.  She looked around her.  "I can't believe you still drive this thing," she said, running her hand along the dashboard.

Her casual comment did the trick.  Brady flashed her his unforgettable grin.  "Well, it is the most 'hip, happening set of wheels' I've ever found."

She smiled at the old catchphrase.  Strange how time had left her memories of him still so fresh in her mind.  "Still, I imagine a lot of girls must be disappointed when a billionaire like you comes to pick them up in this old thing instead of in some flashy sports car."

"I've never taken a girl out in this, except for you," Brady confessed quietly, keeping his eyes plastered to the road in front of him.

Chloe felt a pleasing warmth rush through her body.  He was letting her know that no matter how times had changed, he would always treasure her memory above all else.  It almost made up for all the times she had seen his face plastered next to some bimbo's.  Almost.  "Not even Nicole?" she asked, with barely concealed jealousy.

Much to her surprise, Brady burst out laughing.  "Nicole?  I doubt Nicole's gone anywhere without her limo in at least the last three years."

Not sure whether or not Brady's answer truly meant anything, Chloe continued her not-so-subtle inquiries.  "But is it true?  The rumors about you and Nicole, I mean."

"Why the sudden curiosity about my personal life, Chloe?" he asked, turning the tables round on her.

"Because for being friends, you have the bad habit of never talking about yourself.  Forgive me for wanting to know a little bit about the life of Brady Black," she snapped.

Brady exhaled loudly.  "You're right.  The two of us have a lot to catch up on."  He made a sharp right, and Chloe knew exactly where they were going.

The Lookout.  She remembered the first time he brought her here.  While Phillip had gotten her to take off her glasses from time to time, it was Brady who had finally convinced her to break them.  That night.  In this place.  Brady turned the engine off and turned to face her.  Even in shadow she was beautiful, her sapphire eyes reflecting the starlight as she stared up into the heavens.

She sighed and glanced at him.  "I've missed this place.  I've missed the conversations I used to have with you."

"Me too," he responded quietly, as their eyes locked.  Talking wasn't the only thing they'd done here.  Like every young couple in love, Brady and Chloe had known this was the perfect make-out spot.  In the course of their short relationship, they had found many occasions to sneak away up here.  And now, to be so close to each other and yet unable to even touch was pure torture.  

Brady's eyes traveled over her face, studying every well-remembered feature as if for the first time.  Her hair, her eyes, the line of her neck, her lips.  He remembered how she had trembled the first time he kissed her.  He forced himself to look away.  _This isn't what you're supposed to be doing, Black, he reprimanded himself.  __You're supposed to be finding out why she's so unhappy and fixing it.  She's not yours.  She'll never be yours again._

_Why's he doing this? Chloe wondered as she watched the conflicting emotions flash across his face.  __Why does he still care after all I've put him through?  Why won't he just tell me to go to hell?  God knows, I deserve it.  She winced as an even more depressing thought occurred to her.  __This could all have been so different.  If I hadn't run away from him, we could be sitting here tonight wrapped in each other's arms.  Lovers, soulmates, maybe even husband and wife.  If only I hadn't been so stupid…_

Brady pulled himself out of his dark thoughts.  "So, Chloe, do you want to go first?"

"Huh?" asked Chloe, confused.  "Go first with what?"

"I thought you agreed we had a lot of things to learn about each other," he reminded her.

"Oh.  Oh yeah," said Chloe, slowly starting to recollect why he'd brought her here in the first place.  "Where would you like me to start?  My marriage to Phillip?"  She shuddered just using those words in the same sentence.

"Actually, I thought we'd go back a little further than that," said Brady coolly, watching her intently.  "Like why you broke up with me."

Chloe winced, as if in pain.  Why did he insist on dredging up painful memories?  "I really don't see how that makes any difference now, Brady," she said quietly, trying to sound cold and aloof.

"It makes a difference to me, Chloe.  Do you even know how I tortured myself for so long replaying that phone conversation in my head?"  Brady couldn't keep the pain from showing in his eyes.  "No explanations, no excuses; just 'I can't see you anymore.'  And the next time I saw you, you were in Phillip's arms."

Chloe looked down at her hands, unable to look him in the eye, unwilling to see the heartbreak she had caused him.  "I'm sorry, Brady.  I shouldn't have handled it like that.  I was at a difficult place in my life."

"Difficult?" Brady repeated incredulously.  "Chloe, look at me."  When she still didn't raise her eyes, he reached over and tipped her chin up.  He was surprised to see unshed tears in her eyes.  His hold immediately gentled.  "Chloe, was there ever a time you couldn't tell me anything?  What could have been so terrible you felt you couldn't trust me with it?"

She shook her head, and the tears started to fall free.  "It doesn't matter now.  It can't change anything."

"Maybe not," Brady admitted.  "But it might give us both some peace of mind just to have this settled and behind us once and for all."

"I had put it behind me!" Chloe cried hysterically.  "I had moved on.  I was doing just fine."

"Chloe, don't lie to me," he reprimanded her gently.  "You can lie to anyone else in the world, but not to me.  You're not fine, not even close.  But I want to help you get there.  I can only do that if I know what happened."

"You always think you can help me, that you're my savior," Chloe spat out bitterly.  "But where has your help really gotten me?  Thanks for the offer, almighty one; but I can look out for myself."

Rather than looking angry or hurt, Brady's face broke into a fond smile.  "You're always so brave, aren't you, Diva?"  He cupped her face in his hands and loved how her eyes gentled, the storm within her immediately calmed by his touch.  "You don't have to be brave with me.  I know you, remember?  I'm like you.  So let yourself be taken care of for just a little bit."

He had to be some sort of magician, a wizard.  He had cast a spell on her, and there was no escaping it.  He had only to touch her, and she melted inside.  He had only to speak to her and peace invaded her soul.  "Why do you care so much, Brady?" she asked quietly.  "Why don't you hate me?"

His mouth tipped up at the corners.  "Hating you would be like hating the best part of me.  But it's my turn to ask questions now, Chloe.  You'll get your chance later.  So back to where we were:  What was it that you didn't tell me?"

Chloe sighed, knowing he wasn't going to give up until he got a truthful answer.  "I let you down," she confessed.  "I let myself down.  I didn't get into Julliard."

Brady sat open-mouthed in shock.  "That was what you couldn't tell me?  That was what made you break up with me?"  He couldn't believe she'd walked away from their love over something so trivial.

For her part, Chloe couldn't believe he was making so light of it.  Didn't he see how it was all connected?  Brady had always made sure she knew that her music came first.  Without music, she was nothing.  If she wasn't good enough for Julliard, how could she be good enough for Brady?  So she'd had to leave him, before he had the chance to leave her.  "You can't understand," she mumbled.  "Let's just drop it."

Brady studied her face, knowing there was more she wasn't telling him, and knowing that she wouldn't tell him either.  He exhaled loudly.  How was he supposed to make things right if he didn't have all the information?  "Okay.  Next question," he said brusquely.  "Why did you go running back to Phillip?"

Chloe shrugged.  She had never allowed herself to fully examine her motives for that reckless decision, afraid of what she'd find.  "Because he was there.  Because I knew it didn't matter to him whether I got into Julliard or not."  _Because I knew it was the only way to keep myself away from you, she added silently._

"God, Chloe, did you think it mattered to me?" Brady exploded.  "Yes, I wanted it for you.  Because it was your dream.  But there are other music schools; there were other ways to pursue that dream.  I would have supported you no matter what."

Chloe looked out the passenger side window.  She didn't believe that.  She couldn't let herself.  If she accepted that Brady's love had truly been unconditional, then she would also have to admit that she had no one but herself to blame for the misery her life was now.  "I still don't see how this is getting us anywhere, Brady," she said, with forced coldness.  "What's done is done.  The past can't be changed."

"No, but maybe the future can," Brady told her quietly.

Chloe jerked her head around to look at him, needing to see the look in his eyes.  What she found was a firm resolve, the kind she was sure had frightened many business rivals over the years.  Brady Black was on a mission, and she was the prize.  "What else do you want to know?" she asked, in a voice scarcely above a whisper.

Brady ran his knuckles down her cheek, savoring the feel of her velvet skin.  "I know this isn't easy for you, Diva.  I just want to know two things more.  What happened with the Wesley's?" he asked softly.

She yanked suddenly away from his touch, anger and a touch of fear in her eyes.  "Some things need to be left buried, Brady.  Please don't ask me."

It was the tremor in her voice that got to Brady.  Something had her terrified, and her fear was keeping her silent.  He knew not that the key to it all was in what happened with her parents.  He wouldn't force her to tell him.  No, if she was afraid, she had good reason to be.  But he wasn't going to let this go either.  He'd get to the bottom of this if it was the last thing he did.

"You said there were two things," Chloe reminded him, afraid of the direction his thoughts were taking.  "What else?"

Brady's crystal blue eyes locked with her sapphire ones.  "Do you love him, Chloe?  Even a little?"  He didn't believe she did, not for a second.  But if she was still in denial about her true feelings, or if she was committed enough to her marriage to lie about it, he'd take her home right now and never look back.  It was bad enough to be trying to break up her marriage; but if she didn't want him to, it was inexcusable.

Chloe let the question sink in.  Did she love Phillip?  _Lie to him, her brain immediately demanded.  __Protect yourself and him from this dangerous game.  It made sense.  She knew Brady.  If she told him she loved Phillip, it would be the equivalent of telling him to leave her alone.  The problem was she didn't want him to.  That tiny voice that might be her conscience and might just be her fear was getting dimmer by the day.  Her heart was beating double-time as she answered.  "No, Brady.  I don't love him," she replied solemnly._

Brady exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.  He looked into her eyes and saw a calm acceptance.  She had chosen her path tonight.  "So why don't you get a divorce?" he asked the question that had been burning on his brain for weeks.  A divorce would make things so much simpler.

That old fear came back into Chloe's eyes again, and she turned her face away again.  "You said two questions.  That's three."

"You're avoiding the question, Chloe.  Why?" he demanded harshly.

Chloe just shook her head.  "I can't, Brady.  Just leave it.  Besides, it's my turn to ask questions now."

He noticed how pale she was, the tears shimmering in her eyes.  The night had completely drained her.  She couldn't take much more.  "We'll talk about me another time.  I think you need to go home, and get some sleep, a chance to recuperate."

She stared at him, torn between relief and annoyance.  "You're just trying to avoid telling me all your dirty secrets.  But I'm not having it, Brady Black.  You made me recall any number of painful memories.  You had better be prepared to return the favor."

Brady grinned at her.  "I'm not trying to hide anything, Chloe.  Honest.  I am, however, trying to give myself a chance to spend more time with you.  I promise I'll tell you everything you need to know about the life and times of Brady Black when you go out with me tomorrow night."

Chloe smiled, too.  She knew the wise thing to do would be to go home tonight and never see Brady again.  But she had never been wise, and she was through with playing it safe.  "Okay," she agreed.  "What time?"


	6. Chapter Six

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Six**

"So how'd it go?" Greta pried over her weekly coffee date with Brady.

Brady smiled wryly.  "You know, Princess, I don't think you're quite as wholesome as everyone thinks you are.  If you were, you wouldn't keep thrusting me together with a married woman.  And you certainly wouldn't ask for details later."

"Can I help it if I live vicariously through the lives of others?" she defended herself.  "Besides, I like my friends to be happy.  I've known you for several years, Brady Black.  And I've never seen you as happy as you've been the past few weeks with you.  You and Chloe are meant to be together."

"You'll get no argument from me there, Greta," Brady admitted.  "But it's more complicated than that.  There are other considerations, you know.  The main one being that she's married."

Greta studied the bleak expression on her friend's face.  She and Brady had become so close over the past few years.  She had the protective affection of an older sister towards him.  And she could see that this was tearing him apart inside.  Who could blame him?  It wasn't like Brady was in the habit of breaking up marriages.  She placed a comforting hand over his.  "Look, Brady, no one believes in the sanctity of marriage more than I do.  But there are some times when it just isn't meant to work out.  This is most certainly one of those times.  I haven't even known Chloe well for all that long, but I can see easily how unhappy she is.  As strange as it may seem to hear me say this, you're doing the right thing."

Brady took her hand in both of his and smiled weakly.  "You're amazing, you know that?  The best friend I've ever had except for Chloe."  He frowned, mentioning her name.  "There's more to the story than she's telling me.  She's terrified of something."

"Just keep being there for her, Brady," Greta advised.  "As a friend, and maybe if she ever comes to her senses and gets that divorce, as more than friends."

Brady didn't reply.  How could he?  He had a feeling he and Chloe were already on their way to being 'more than friends.'  And as understanding as Greta was, even she would have something to say about that.

~~*~~

"Let's face it, Black.  You're never going to beat me," Chloe bragged, as she and Brady left the bowling alley.

Brady made a face.  "I'd forgotten how insufferable you are about this game," he groaned.  Neither of them had been bowling since they were dating, but they had both instantly fallen into their old competitive habits.  

"You're just mad because I got that last minute strike," Chloe continued her post-game taunting.  "I'm telling you, bowling is in my blood.  I can never lose."

Brady opened the door to the jeep for her.  "Shut up and get your ass in this car, Lane."  He winced, immediately remembering that she wasn't Chloe Lane anymore.  She wasn't his Diva.  She was Phillip's wife.

Chloe, on the other hand, was thrilled by his slip of the tongue.  She loved that he still thought of her that way.  She loved the thought of being Chloe Lane again.  Her earlier levity was instantly forgotten.  She put a light hand on his, and their eyes rushed together.  "Let me be Chloe Lane again, Brady.  Please?" she begged.  _Let me forget just for a while that I've ruined my life, she prayed silently.  __Let it be just Brady and Chloe again.  The way it was always supposed to be._

He massaged her hand gently, and his eyes traveled to the shining diamond on her finger.  "I don't think we can do that, Diva," he said sadly.  "There's always the reminder."

Chloe yanked her hand away.  He was right, of course.  But she didn't want him to be right.  She didn't want him to be thinking rationally.  She wanted him to feel as lost and out-of-control as she did.  She wanted him to say 'Phillip be damned' and pull her into his arms.  She wanted all these things, but she couldn't bring the words to her lips.  She just nodded an agreement she didn't feel.  "Okay.  Where to now?" she asked, slipping into the jeep.

"Someplace we can talk."

~~*~~

Chloe wasn't surprised when he took her to the gazebo.  It seemed they were revisiting their past one step at a time.  First, the lookout.  Then, the bowling alley.  And now this place, a virtual shrine to both of them.  "If you think I'll take it easy on you just because you brought me here, you're wrong, Brady," she warned.

"That would be too much to hope for, wouldn't it?" Brady said with a smile, taking her hand and leading her to one of the stone benches.  

It was a clear, cold fall evening and Chloe was shivering even through her thick sweater.  "Here," Brady offered immediately, wrapping his jacket around her shoulders.  "You know, Diva, one of these days you should really think about wearing a coat."

Chloe smiled fondly, clutching the jacket closer.  Just how many times had he given her his coat over the years?  She pushed the fond memories away.  She was here with a purpose.  "Okay, Brady, enough stalling.  It's my turn to play twenty questions with your life."  
  


Brady nodded, convinced there was nothing she could ask him that he would find difficult to answer.  "Okay.  Shoot."

"So how many women have you slept with since we were together?" she demanded immediately.

Brady's jaw dropped.  So maybe there was one question.  "That's a little personal, don't you think?"

"I think when you asked me whether or not I loved my husband you opened the door to anything and everything," Chloe declared firmly.  She had given a lot of thought to how she wanted this evening to proceed.  Ever since they had met again, Brady had managed to be in control of their encounters.  This was her night to catch him off-guard.  "How many, Brady?"

His eyes slid away from her to focus on some indistinct point beyond her shoulder.  "More than I should have," he replied gruffly.  "If you're looking for an exact count, sorry; I didn't keep one."

Chloe felt a quick shaft of pain and then berated herself for it.  What right did she have to expect Brady to remain faithful to her?  She had _married another man.  Brady was single and free.  He could screw the entire female population of Salem if he wanted to, and she didn't have the right to say a damn thing.  "Did you…Did you love any of them?" she asked haltingly._

Brady sat in silence for a moment.  How could he answer her without betraying too much of his heart?  Then again, maybe telling her how he felt was the best way to get her to leave Phillip.  But how could he live with it if she rejected him again?  He took the middle ground.  "There were a few I thought I did.  At least I tried to love them," he answered truthfully.

She swallowed back the lump in her throat.  She had been stupid to hope for a simple denial.  "What happened?" she continued to pry.

Brady shrugged.  "I don't know.  I guess I kept holding them up to an ideal, and they fell short."

"So what, you dumped them because they weren't perfect?" Chloe asked incredulously.  "You do know no one's perfect, right?"

"I wasn't looking for perfection," Brady defended himself.  

"Well, what were you looking for?"

Brady knew there was no dodging the question this time.  "You," he answered solemnly, his eyes caressing her.

"Oh," Chloe breathed, struck dumb.  How could he still say that after all she'd done to him?  How could he still look at her that way?  She managed to drag herself back to reality and ask the next burning question.  "So are the rumors true?  Are you sleeping with Nicole now?"

"No," Brady spoke unequivocally on this point.  "I never have, and I never will.  Nicole is a business associate, nothing more.  Next question."

Chloe smiled a little at his obvious disgust at the idea of Nicole as his lover.  "Are you seeing anyone else?" she asked, pushing away her embarrassment.  She had been given carte blanche to ask any questions she liked, and she intended to make full use of that privilege.

"Do you count?" asked Brady quietly, his eyes never leaving her face.

Chloe flushed bright red.  Why wouldn't he stop looking at her like that?  She felt like she was on fire inside; and the flames were scorching her soul, devouring what was left of her reluctance.  She made herself drop her gaze and stared intently at her wedding ring, trying to remind herself she was a married woman.  It didn't work too well.  "Why do you do this to me?" she breathed.

Brady tipped her chin up gently and saw the pools of tears in her eyes.  He knew this was tearing her apart inside.  And who could blame her?  She was stuck in a loveless marriage, held there by some secret fear.  And now, here he was trying to make her break every vow she'd spoken before God and man.  "I don't want to cause you pain, Chloe.  God knows you've had enough pain for a lifetime," he said, trailing a finger down her jaw line.  Her eyes closed heavily.  "I just want you to see that there are ways out.  You don't have to stay in this marriage if it makes you unhappy."

Chloe pulled away from his hypnotizing touch.  She opened her eyes and stared bleakly at him.  "Yes, I do," she answered with sad resignation.  "But we're not supposed to talk about me tonight.  We're talking about you."

Brady recognized her weak attempt to change the subject, but what could he do?  Fair was fair.  And he had done more than his share of prying last night.  "Okay.  What else do you want to know?"

"Why did you work so hard to take over Titan?" she asked casually.

Brady didn't have a ready answer for that, even though he'd asked himself that many times over the long process.  "It was a sound business decision," he answered, knowing he sounded defensive.

"Don't play that game with me," she warned.  "Basic Black didn't need to take over Titan.  You wanted to.  I want to know why."

Brady mulled it over.  Why had he wanted Titan so desperately?  Had it been merely to protect his grandfather's legacy?  If it had, wouldn't he have simply merged with Titan, rather than go in for the kill?  Brady knew there was no hiding from the truth any longer.  He had taken over Titan for one reason, and one reason only.  "Revenge," he said aloud.

"What?" exclaimed Chloe.  She had wanted to hear him say that he'd done it as an excuse to see her again, much as she'd come to his office that day.  She didn't want to think her perfect Brady could be tainted by such a human failing.

"I told you that I couldn't hate you, even after you left me.  That's true.  But I had no problem blaming Phillip," Brady explained.  "Fair or not, the way I saw it was he had taken away the most precious part of my life.  So I returned the favor."  There was an edge to Brady's tone that showed he felt no remorse over what he had done, only grim satisfaction.

Chloe paled, as disjointed thoughts flew through her brain.  Finally, one seemed to take preeminence.  She jumped to her feet, letting his jacket fall to the ground.  "Is that why you're spending time with me now?" she accused.  "Am I one more trophy in your battle of supremacy with Phillip?"

Brady got up just as quickly, taking hold of her arms.  His touch was gentle, almost as gentle as the look in his eyes.  "No, Chloe," he stated firmly.  "I would never make you a pawn in some sick game.  I'm here with you because there's no place else I'd rather be."

"Oh," said Chloe, feeling embarrassed by her outburst.  "I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have thought so low of you."

"No, you shouldn't have," he replied with a smile.  "Now, anymore questions?"

"Just one," said Chloe, her eyes searching his.  "What are we getting ourselves into?"

An instantly sober expression came over his face, and he let go of her arms.  "I'm not sure, Diva.  When I started out on this, I had a clear purpose.  I was going to find out what was wrong in your life, what was making you so unhappy; and I was going to fix it.  But somewhere along the way, things have gotten kind of mixed-up."

"Why did you care in the first place?" she asked in a near whisper.  "After all I'd done to hurt you, why would you care what a mess my life was in?"

He took her hands in his and rubbed her wrist gently with his thumb.  Her pulse was unnaturally rapid.  Was it possible she was feeling what he felt now?  He looked into her eyes and saw love shining through her pain.  "Why do you insist on only remembering the bad times, Chloe?" he questioned.  "What I remember is the girl I found on the pier one lonely night, the girl who, without even fully realizing it, helped me heal from lifelong scars.  She made me happier than I'd ever been.  I felt like my soul could soar through the heavens.  I loved her, as I've never loved anyone before or since.  So if you're asking why I care, it's because I still remember the Diva who stole my heart."

Tears filled Chloe's eyes, but she managed to blink them back.  She'd already cried more tears than most people shed in their entire lifetimes.  "Is she still there?" she asked softly.  "Do you still see the Diva you love when you look at me?"

He cupped her face in his hands.  "When you look at me the way you're doing now, it might as well be five years ago.  I love you, Chloe Lane.  Time and space could never change that.  In my eyes, you will never be anyone else."

Chloe Lane he had called her; and for that moment, that's who she was.  Phillip didn't exist.  That diamond ring on her finger was cheap costume jewelry.  All she knew was that Brady Black loved her, would always love her.  "I love you too, Brady," she confessed, only half-aware of what she was saying.  Her present self wasn't speaking.  This wasn't Chloe Kiriakis, the tired, careworn wife of a controlling husband.  This was the girl she had been, young and alive and so full of dreams.  "There could never be anyone for me but you."

Brady's eyes blazed as he too traveled back to a simpler time, when the woman before him had been the center of his universe.  Without a word, he cupped the back of her neck and pulled her towards him.  She lifted her face expectantly.  He meant for the kiss to be gentle, but no sooner had their lips brushed than the dam of their emotions burst.  He pulled her tightly into his arms; and his lips devoured hers, drinking of her like a man dying of thirst.

Any final vestige of rational thought flew out of Chloe's head.  In that moment, there was nothing she could think of except the shivers of pleasure running through her body, nothing she could to except cling to him as tidal waves of passion assaulted her senses.  She parted her lips and welcomed the liquid sensation in her belly as their tongues met.  Even as she knew the kiss would have to end, even as she knew they had to come up for air, she clutched tighter to him.  She didn't want to break apart, didn't want to face present reality.

He did pull away though, reluctantly, visibly shaken.  "Chloe," he whispered hoarsely, his heart in his eyes.

Chloe backed away from him, shaking her head.  She fingered her wedding ring.  The spell had been broken.  She was Mrs. Kiriakis once more.  "I can't do this, Brady.  I just can't.  I'm sorry."  She turned on her heel and fled, unwilling to let him see the tears that burned in her eyes.

Brady followed after her for a few steps before stopping himself.  They needed time, space to figure this out.  Maybe once she calmed down a little, she'd realize what he already knew.  She had to leave Phillip; the sooner, the better.  Brady's lips still tingled from her kiss.  She had given herself over to him as if they had never been apart.  In spite of the seriousness of the situation, he smiled.  His Diva loved him.  What else mattered?  It was only a matter of time before they were together like they were always meant to be.

~~*~~

Chloe breathed a sigh of relief as she entered the mansion.  Normally, this was her prison.  Tonight, it was her refuge.  How could she have done that?  She had not only told Brady she loved him, she had kissed him.  She had kissed him as she never kissed her husband.

Her husband.  Phillip.  Oh God, what had she done?  In a daze, she passed the room where she had made her midnight vow only a few days earlier.  She winced.  It was one thing to sit alone in a room and consider oneself capable of adultery.  It was entirely another to actually go through with it and live with the consequences.  Of course, at that moment, she hadn't considered herself married.  She had been in a virtual time warp.  Could she delude herself into believing that made her less culpable?

She saw the red light flickering on the answering machine and knew who the message was from.  As if determined to make herself feel as guilty as possible, Chloe pushed the button.  Immediately, Phillip's voice filled the room.  "Chloe, it's me.  It's nine o'clock.  Where are you?  Give me a call when you get in.  I want to make sure you're all right.  I love you, darling."  

Chloe flinched and instantly erased the message.  In his own twisted way, she knew Phillip truly did love her.  And she had betrayed that love.  She had betrayed her vows.  And for what?  One moment of passion in the arms of the man she loved.  Was it worth it?  Was it worth the guilt she was feeling now?  She was surprised when her heart screamed out, _Yes!_

Chloe went into the kitchen and brewed herself a cup of tea.  Sitting down at the empty table in the lonely house, she thought over the absolute disaster she had made of her life.  How was she supposed to get herself out of this one?  She mulled over her options.  There really were only three choices.

She could get a divorce.  _Well, why not? she thought, with her first feeling of hope in years.  It had been a long time since that incident.  Surely, Phillip was in a better emotional state now.  She could leave him and run straight into Brady's loving arms.  And Phillip would move on just fine.  Right?  She shook her head at the preposterous notion.  She knew how Phillip would really react, and it was too terrifying to be considered.  There really were only two choices._

She could have an affair.  She imagined what it would be like to be Brady's girlfriend again.  They'd laugh, and have fun, and talk for hours like they used to.  She could know the passion and joy of being held in Brady's arms.  She would also have to live with the guilt of betraying both her husband and Brady.  Besides, Brady would never go for it.  He loved her too much to share her with another man.  And what it Phillip found out about it?  There really was only one choice.

Her decision made, Chloe picked up the phone and dialed, ignoring the searing pain in her heart.  She had to do this.  It was the only way.  "Hello, Greta.  It's me," she said, when Greta answered after the third ring.  "Sorry to call you so late, but I need a favor.  I need to know the days Brady's volunteering at the Children's Center….So I can know not to be.  I can't see Brady Black again.  Ever."


	7. Chapter Seven

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Seven**

The next morning dawned bright and fresh.  Brady Black woke with his mind made up.  Today was the day he unraveled all mysteries involving Chloe Lane Kiriakis.  If he could just discover what was at the root of her fear, maybe he could help her overcome it and get her to move on into a new life.  A life with him.  A life where they could be together.

He found himself surprisingly light-hearted as he made his way down the streets of Salem.  He hadn't felt this good in years, not since the last time Chloe had told him she loved him.  Sure, she had run away last night; but with Chloe, that could mean anything.  Even he didn't always completely understand his Diva.

He stepped onto the Wesley's porch, unsure of what kind of reception he was going to receive.  His relationship with Craig and Nancy had started off incredibly badly.  But they had gradually come to a mutual respect and trust.  Brady had even suspected they were growing kind of fond of him.  Of course, that had been five years ago.  

With the exception of a few casual greetings at social functions, the last time he'd seen Nancy was a few days before Chloe married Phillip.  She'd come to him to ask for his interference in Chloe and Phillip's relationship.  Still hurting over Chloe's unexplained defection, Brady had refused in no uncertain terms, saying it was Chloe's life and they should all just stay out of it.  He and Nancy had exchanged heated words and parted under less than the best of circumstances.

With these memories replaying through his brain, it was with trepidation that Brady rang the doorbell.  Knowing Nancy's vindictive nature, he wouldn't be surprised if she slammed the door in his face even after all this time.  After a moment, Craig answered the door, much to Brady's secret relief.  "Hello, Dr. Wesley," he greeted him formally.

Craig stared at Brady for a moment, then his face broke into a huge grin.  "Hey, Brady.  Long time, no see.  Come on in."  He pulled the door open wide.

"Thanks," said Brady, entering with a little more confidence.  He was a bit surprised at Craig's warm greeting, but not shocked.  Craig was a pretty good guy when it came right down to it.

"We were just having Sunday morning brunch.  Care to join us?" Craig invited him.

Before Brady could reply, they heard Nancy's voice from the dining room.  "Craig, honey, who is it?"

"Come and see for yourself," Craig called back.

Brady shifted uncomfortably as he heard Nancy's footsteps approaching.  He wondered if it was too late to make a quick retreat.  At that moment, Nancy saw him.  Her face immediately bloomed into a beatific smile.  "Brady!" she cried, crossing the distance to him in surprisingly little time and throwing her arms around him in a motherly hug.  "Brady, I'm so glad to see you!"

If Brady had been told that he was the rightful king of England, he couldn't have been more surprised.  Nancy Wesley was treating him more like the prodigal son returned, than as her daughter's ex-boyfriend.  "Uh, hi, Mrs. Wesley," he mumbled.  He patted her awkwardly on the back while shooting a bewildered look at Craig.

Craig laughed.  "All right, Nancy.  Let the boy breathe," he instructed, prying his wife away from Brady.  "Brady, how about you join us for brunch?  It will give us a chance to catch up."

Brady nodded his agreement, and the three of them made their way to the dining room.  Nancy kept smiling at Brady, and Brady realized there was no way in a million years he would ever understand that woman.  As they filled their plates, Brady and Craig talked small talk about business and the hospital and mutual acquaintances.

Nancy waited patiently as long as she could, which was about five minutes, before she burst out with, "So have you seen Chloe?  You have, right?  You wouldn't be here if you hadn't."  Craig shot her a warning look; but she chose to ignore it, focusing all her attention eagerly on Brady.

Brady cleared his throat before responding.  "Yes, Mrs. Wesley, I have.  Actually, I've seen her several times in the last few weeks."

"You have?  How is she?  Does she look all right?  Is she doing well?  Is she happy?"  A million questions seemed to flow from Nancy Wesley's lips in quick succession.  It was plain to see that she was starved for any information about her daughter.

Craig took her hand in his.  "Calm down, Nancy," he instructed.  "Give Brady a chance to explain."  He turned to face Brady, smiling apologetically.  "I'm sorry if Nancy seems a little demanding.  But we haven't seen Chloe in a really long time, so…"  He shrugged.

"I know," said Brady sympathetically.  "That's the reason I'm here.  I have some questions I need to ask you about it.  But I realize how desperate you must be to hear about your daughter so I'll tell you that first."  Over the next fifteen minutes, Brady detailed some of his experiences with Chloe recently, emphasizing her work with the choir, her relationship with Meghan, and her friendship with Greta.  He left out everything about his own complicated relationship with her and about how depressed she seemed to be.  He knew they picked up on what he wasn't saying though.  He saw the mother's perceptive sadness in Nancy's eyes.

"He's made her wretched, hasn't he?" said Nancy.  It was more a statement than a question.

Brady couldn't lie.  "I think so,' he replied.  "I don't know what goes on in that house, but it's obvious she's miserable."

"And you want to help her," Craig added knowingly.

Brady nodded curtly.  "Yes, I do.  But I need your help.  There are things she won't tell me, things she's afraid to tell me.  I'm hoping maybe you will."

Husband and wife interchanged glances.  Craig gave Nancy's hand a reassuring squeeze.  She nodded and answered for both of them, "We'll do anything we can to help, Brady."

"Thank you, Mrs. Wesley.  What I really want to know is what happened that made you cut off contact with her."

Nancy drew back in shock.  "Did she tell you that?  That's not what happened at all.  She cut things off with us.  Not more than a phone call—"

"Nancy, please," Craig interrupted her before she could continue her rant.  "It might make more sense if we start at the beginning.  Would you let me explain it to Brady, please?"

Nancy nodded her permission reluctantly.  Craig looked across the table and met Brady's steady gaze.  "Chloe had been acting irrationally even for Chloe.  First, breaking up with you all of the sudden, even though we knew she still loved you.  Then, getting back together with Phillip when it was obvious her heart wasn't in it.  We tried to talk sense to her, but you know Chloe.  The more we talked, the further away she pushed us.  So we kept silent, hoping she'd come back to herself again soon.

"But that whirlwind engagement was the last straw.  She just seemed so miserable.  No bride-to-be should be that depressed.  Plus, we'd never trusted Phillip; and he seemed to be having a negative effect on her again.  He was so possessive.  He was causing her to pull away from everyone she loved and everyone who loved her.  So, a few nights before the wedding, Nancy and I tried to fix things.  Nancy went to try and enlist your aid, while I tried to convince Chloe what a huge mistake she was making…"

~~*~~

_"Please, Chloe, I'm not even asking you to end things with him.  Just slow down a little.  Don't marry him now.  Give yourself some time to think it over," Craig pleaded.  "You don't want to do something you'll regret."_

_Chloe's face was like stone, and her eyes gazed distantly past him.  "I've made up my mind, Craig," she declared firmly.  "I'm going to marry Phillip.  Whether you support me or not is entirely up to you."_

_Craig stopped his pacing and sat down next to her on the couch, taking her hands in his.  "Chloe, your mother and I will always support you, no matter what you do.  We just think that you're making a huge mistake.  You jumped right out of your relationship with Brady into this situation again.  You're not thinking rationally.  You're acting on emotion."_

_"You're wrong, Craig," she replied tonelessly.  "Emotion couldn't have less to do with this.  Look, I know you and Nancy love me; and you want to take care of me.  And I'm grateful.  But I make my own decisions.  And I've made this one."_

_Craig looked into his stepdaughter's eyes and was frightened by the emptiness in them.  Her eyes, which had always been the window to her soul, were entirely shut down.  Why was she doing this to herself?  How had they failed her?  Or had she been beyond help when she came to them?  Had too many years of pain and loneliness made her incapable of being happy for too long?  "Do you even love him?" _

_Chloe looked away, unwilling to lie straight to Craig's face.  This was hard enough as it was.  But she had to do this.  If she didn't marry Phillip, she'd be tempted to go back to Brady.  And then what would happen when he decided she wasn't good enough for him?  She couldn't take that.  It was better this way.  Reject him before he had the chance to reject her.  _

_Craig knew her silence was an answer unto itself.  He exhaled loudly.  "What's going on, Chloe?  Did Brady do something to hurt you?  Is that what this is about?"_

_"No," she cried forcefully.  "Brady didn't hurt me.  He'll never hurt me.  I'm not going to give him the chance."  Suddenly, she stopped herself, realizing how much of her state of mind she was giving away.  _

_"So what, you're going to let Phillip hurt you instead?" Craig challenged.  "Which, by the way, is a far greater likelihood.  Brady loves you, Chloe.  Even your mother and I recognize that.  He loves you, and he would never knowingly hurt you.  But Phillip is a walking time-bomb.  Look at all he put you through while you were dating.  Do you really want to go through your entire life like that?"_

_"Don't listen to him, Chloe," an angry voice came from the entryway.  "He's just trying to poison your mind against me."_

_Craig and Chloe whirled around to see Phillip standing there, eyes narrowed, chin jutted out.  "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Craig spat out._

_"Shut up!" Phillip screamed.  "You're in league with Brady.  You just don't understand.  Chloe belongs to me.  She's mine.  She's supposed to be with me.  No one understands."  The look in his eyes was frightening.  He believed every word he said._

_Craig glanced from the delusional boy in front of him to his daughter.  The look on her face was even more frightening.  She knew.  She knew he was crazy.  And she just didn't care.  She thought this was what she deserved.  She really believed she was unworthy of a love like Brady's, and that Phillip's obsession was all she was entitled to.  "Chloe," Craig began softly._

_Chloe shook her head.  "No, Craig.  Don't say another word.  Phillip's right.  I belong with Phillip."  There was resignation in her voice.  For a few short, glorious months, she had allowed herself to dream that she could be happy.  Brady was everything she ever wanted, and he loved her.  But the truth was she just wasn't good enough.  Didn't she have a rejection letter from Julliard hidden in her room that said the exact same thing?  Her dreams were never meant to come true.  _

_Phillip grinned triumphantly.  "Come on, babe.  Let's get out of here."  _

_Chloe obediently rose from the couch.  "Okay, just let me get my coat."  _

_Craig watched them leave, his heart breaking for her.  "God," he prayed.  "Protect my daughter from her own foolishness.  Don't let this madness last forever.  Send her love.  Send her acceptance.  Send her a sense of self-worth, before it's too late…"_

~~*~~

"So is that the last time you saw Chloe?" Brady asked, seeing Craig's pain still reflected on his face.  He knew.  He understood.  They had all tried so hard to love Chloe, but they had been unable to make her love herself.  She had been bent on self-destruction, and nothing they said or did could have stopped it.

Craig sighed, thinking back on one of the hardest times in his life, and Nancy's.  "No.  I'm just giving you some background information.  Maybe knowing where she's coming from will help you understand.  Anyway, she married him.  God forgive me, I actually walked her down the aisle.  I wanted to be there to support her, even though I didn't support her choice.  She looked so beautiful that day.  I was so proud to have her as my daughter.  But she might as well have been walking to her own execution from the look on her face.  I tried repeatedly to make her change her mind; but while she never denied the truth of my arguments, she seemed convinced that she deserved to be unhappy.  And I couldn't snap her out of it, no matter how hard I tried."

"But you still kept in contact with her after her marriage?" questioned Brady, trying to piece everything together.

"Of course," put in Nancy.  "She's my daughter, and she needed me more than ever.  I started seeing changes in her almost immediately after she got married.  She never mentioned music anymore.  She didn't want to go out or socialize.  Except for the black clothes and the anger, she basically reverted to who she was when she first came to Salem."

"There were other things too," Craig continued.  "After a few months, I noticed that she seemed to be wearing heavier make-up, like she was trying to conceal something."

Brady didn't need it spelled out for him.  His fists and jaw clenched.  "Bruises?"

"I don't know that for a fact," Craig clarified.  "It might have been something simpler.  Maybe she was getting paler or had rings under her eyes and wanted to disguise them.  It would make sense as she seemed to be losing weight."

Nancy frowned, nodding her agreement.  "Chloe was miserable from the moment she married him, but she refused to confide in me.  She'd change the subject immediately if I ever dropped the slightest hint about what she was going through.  Things got even worse after Kate shot Victor and went to trial.  Phillip was even more moody and angry than normal.  On two separate occasions, he called when she was visiting me.  I know he screamed at her, but she just acted like it was no big deal and went home.  Which brings you up to that night…"

~~*~~

_Craig was in the kitchen making popcorn for their movie night when Nancy heard the pounding at the door.  "I'm coming," she yelled, when the racket didn't cease.  Throwing open the door, she came face to face with a wild-eyed Chloe.  Instantly, Chloe fell into her arms, sobbing.  "Chloe, sweetheart, what's the matter?"_

_Chloe just shook her head and let Nancy pull her inside.  She was just settling into the couch when Craig appeared with the popcorn.  His clinical eye instantly took in more than Nancy's panic had allowed her to see.  He saw the red mark on her cheek that could only have been left by a slap of considerable force.  His eyes continued their perusal and noticed hand prints on her wrists, from where she had been forcibly held.  God know what else was concealed under her clothes.  _

_Setting down the popcorn, Craig came instantly to her side.  "Did Phillip do this?" he demanded, barely keeping his rage under control._

_Nancy looked bewildered for a moment, and then she too saw the red mark on Chloe's face.  "Oh God, Chloe!" she exclaimed.  "What did he do to my baby?"  She held Chloe close to her and burst into tears._

_Chloe pulled away, avoiding Nancy's comforting embrace.  She didn't deserve comfort.  "It's not a big deal," she mumbled._

_"Not a big deal?" Craig fumed.  "I'll kill him.  I swear I'll tear that bastard limb from limb."_

_Chloe reached up and placed a calming hand on her stepfather's clenched fist.  "Before you call together the lynch mob, Craig, you should know that this is mostly my fault."  She spoke calmly, controlled.  The only way she was going to get them to see reason was to be reasonable herself._

_"Your fault?" Craig repeated incredulously.  "How could his abuse possibly be your fault?"_

_"Look, Craig, I know what Phillip's done; but will you please sit down and let me explain before you do something you'll regret?"_

_Reluctantly, Craig sat down, still feeling murderous.  "I'm listening," he muttered._

_Chloe sighed.  This was not going to be an easy story to tell.  "First off, let me say that you two were right.  I never should have married Phillip in the first place.  I went off the deep end for a while and made a lot of mistakes I'm sure I'll regret for the rest of my life."  Her eyes flickered with pain, and they knew she was thinking about Brady.  "But you can't blame Phillip for my lousy choices.  He's always loved me in his own way, and I took advantage of it.  I thought he could be my escape, never knowing what it would cost him and me."  As she spoke she seemed to find more clarity.  She was finally opening her eyes to her own motivations._

_"Phillip's really needed me lately, and I haven't been there for him like I should.  Physically, I've been there at all the important times; but emotionally, I couldn't be more distant."  She condemned herself.  This was all her fault.  If only she hadn't turned away from Brady.  If only she hadn't married Phillip.  If only once she had, she had managed to banish Brady from her thoughts forever._

_"Kate was sentenced today," Chloe announced.  "And while Phillip was falling to pieces, I didn't even care.  He went to a meeting with her lawyers, and I came home.  And rather than doing something, anything, to make it easier on my husband for when he came home, I got out a box of old photos of me and Brady."  She hung her head in self-loathing.  "Phillip's whole world is crumbling around him, and all I could think of was my own misery._

_"I didn't hear Phillip come home until it was too late.  He saw me trying to hide the box and exploded.  He didn't know until then that I'm still in love with Brady.  He tried to take the box from me, but I refused to let go.  That's when he slapped me."  Her gaze traveled from Craig to Nancy and back again, making sure they knew she was telling the truth.  "He only slapped me once tonight, and I don't think he really intended to.  We were both so stunned, we dropped the photos.  Phillip recovered quicker than I did though.  He scooped them up, saying something about 'breaking the spell' and ran downstairs.  I knew what he was going to do and ran after him, begging him to stop.  But he didn't listen.  He threw the photographs into the fireplace.  I was actually crazy enough to think I could pull them out, but Phillip grabbed my wrists before I could burn my hands in the fire."  
  
_

_Chloe looked away guiltily.  "I was hysterical, screaming and crying; and when Phillip tried to calm me, I told him I wished he'd been burned in the fire instead."  She winced at her own cruelty.  "Phillip let go of me then, and I ran out of there as fast as I could."_

_When she finished her story, Nancy and Craig sat in stunned silence.  As much as they would love to hold Phillip responsible for all of this, they knew as well as Chloe that she shared much of the blame.  "What are you going to do now?" asked Nancy finally._

_Chloe bit her lip nervously.  "Actually, I was hoping I could stay here for a while, while I get a divorce."  She let her announcement fall heavily on her parents._

_Nancy couldn't help it.  She grinned.  "Oh, sweetheart, really?"_

_Chloe nodded firmly.  "I never should have married him in the first place.  We just made each other miserable.  He needs someone who can support him through this time, and that's not me.  It's better to end it now, before it's too late."  She shuddered, picturing how dreadful five years of marriage to Phillip would be, let alone fifty._

_"You've made a very wise decision, Chloe," Craig said solemnly, not sure that Nancy's whole-hearted glee was quite appropriate for the occasion._

_Chloe's cell phone chirped loudly.  She pulled it out of her purse but didn't answer it immediately.  What if it was Phillip?_

_"Don't answer it.  It could be Phillip," instructed her mother, as if reading her thoughts._

_"I've got to speak to him sometime," said Chloe, resigned.  She answered the call.  "Hello?"_

_Nancy and Craig were never to know who was on the other side of the phone call or what it was about.  Chloe's side left huge gaps to fill in.  "…Yeah…He's done what?...Okay…I'll be right there…Bye."  She flicked the phone off and turned to her parents, her expression panicked.  "I've got to go.  I'm sorry.  Don't expect me back tonight."  She had already grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the door._

_"Chloe, wait," Craig demanded.  "What's going on?"_

_Chloe only shook her head.  "Night, Craig.  Night, Mom."  She rushed out the door, leaving the Wesley's with questions that would never be answered…_

~~*~~

"And that was that," Nancy concluded.  "We got a call from her the next day.  She said she'd worked things out with Phillip, and they were staying together.  I got into a huge argument with her about it.  And mid-sentence, we were disconnected.  I don't know if she hung up on me, or someone else did.  When I tried to call back, Henderson answered and said that Mrs. Kiriakis had no mother."  The pain of that cold statement still reflected in Nancy's eyes.

Craig pulled her close to him, sympathy and love in his eyes.  Glancing back at Brady, he finished the story.  "We tried for months to see her and talk to her, but we never even got near her.  She never seemed to leave the Kiriakis mansion without Phillip by her side.  Anytime we called, they just hung up on us.  We still try every once in a while to connect to her; but so far, no luck."

"Which is why I'm so glad to see you, Brady," Nancy added, smiling.  "I always knew that you were the only one who could bring our Chloe back to us.  If anyone can get us through to see our daughter, you can."

Brady looked into their pleading faces and knew he wasn't the only one who wanted to see Chloe set free from the prison of her marriage.  "I'll do my best," he promised.  "But I have to warn you, she completely shuts down when I bring up your names."

Craig nodded, understanding.  "Just keep trying to get through to her, Brady.  What happened that one night might have been partly Chloe's fault, but that doesn't excuse all the other nights.  Phillip's destroying her.  He has been for years.  You've got to get her out of there, whatever it takes."

Nancy nodded her agreement.  If the situation hadn't been so serious, Brady might have been amused.  Chloe's parents had just given him their blessing to break up her marriage.  As if life wasn't strange enough already.


	8. Chapter Eight

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Eight**

Greta exited the elevator on the top floor of Basic Black's office building.  This had been where it all began; and even though Basic Black now owned the entire building, Brady had kept his office right where it had always been.  So characteristic of Brady.  He couldn't let go of the past.  

Knowing he would be crushed by her information, Greta considered rushing back onto that elevator and just going home.  No, it was better if he heard it from a friend, someone who cared about him.  As Chloe obviously didn't.  Resentment stiffened Greta's resolve.  She boldly approached the receptionist's desk.

Mrs. Colman looked up and smiled.  "Princess von Hamburg, how nice to see you.  I didn't realize you had an appointment today."  She flipped through a big book on her desk.

"Actually, I don't," said Greta, with an awkward smile.  "I was hoping to have just a minute of Brady's time."

"I'll see what I can do," Mrs. Colman assured her, flicking on the intercom.  "Mr. Black, Princess von Hamburg is here to see you."

Rather than buzzing back, Brady opened the door a moment later, a welcoming smile on his face.  "Hey, Greta, come on in."

Greta's return smile was rather weak, as she entered his office ahead of him.  _This is all my fault, she thought.  __I'm the one who made him spend time with her in the first place.  I thought they'd be good for each other.  When am I going to learn that I lack all talent as a matchmaker?_

"So what's up?" asked Brady, sinking back into his chair.  He couldn't help his good mood.  He'd been walking on air since Saturday night, ever since Chloe had told him she loved him.  He was literally counting the seconds until he could get off work and go see her again.

How could she tell him gently?  Was there any way she could say this without breaking his heart?  Damn!  Why'd she have to become so involved in Brady's love life?  He'd been doing fine.  Not happy perhaps, but surviving, like they all were.  And now, she had set the stage for his heart to get smashed a second time.  "Brady," Greta began gently.  "I got a call from Chloe the other night."  
  


"What about?" asked Brady solemnly, the look on her face and the tone of her voice giving him advance notice of bad news to come.

Greta twirled her hair nervously.  "She called to find out what days you're volunteering at the Children's Center.  She doesn't want to see you anymore, Brady," she spat out very fast in a low tone.  

Brady sat there in stunned silence for a moment, before a look of such mingled hurt and anger appeared on his face that Greta felt her own heart would break at the agony of it.  "So what, she sent you to tell me?" he said through gritted teeth.

"No, she didn't send me.  She doesn't even know I'm here.  But I don't think she even planned on telling you, Brady; and I couldn't let you wait for her to contact you, knowing that she wasn't going to.  This is as much my fault as anyone's," Greta confessed.  "I'm the one who pushed you two together.  I never realized Chloe was so heartless."  She frowned, remembering Chloe's cold, emotionless tone during their brief phone conversation two days ago.  How had she been so deceived in Chloe?  
  


"Chloe's not heartless," Brady defended her immediately, getting to his feet.  "She's a lot of things, but never that.  Look, Greta, I've got to find her.  I've got to talk to her."  He moved away from his desk, pain still etched deeply on his face.

Greta stood up quickly and put a hindering hand to his chest.  "Brady, please don't do this to yourself," she pleaded.  "Chloe's only going to break your heart again.  I can't stand seeing you hurting."

Brady's face softened as he looked at her.  "I know you want to protect me, Greta.  Hell, if someone hurt you, I'd tear them limb from limb.  But I'll be able to get to the bottom of this.  Don't worry.  I understand Chloe in a way you can't."

Greta nodded and backed away from him, though she still doubted if anyone could talk sense to that stupid girl.  "All right, Brady, if you feel you need to, then go.  But if you need to talk later, give me a call.  Okay?"

Brady nodded and ushered her out of his office in front of him.  "Thanks, Greta."

Mrs. Colman wasn't the only one in the reception area.  Nicole was waiting impatiently.  Her eyes narrowed to slits when she saw Greta beside Brady, and Brady with his jacket slung over his arm.  "Going somewhere?" she accused.  "Have you forgotten we have a meeting?"

"Sorry, Nicole, there's someplace I have to be," Brady said curtly.  "I'll meet with you tomorrow."  He walked briskly towards the elevator.

"Something to do with Operagirl, no doubt," she muttered bitterly.  "Well, I can take care of that."

Her words didn't reach Brady, but they stopped Greta in her tracks.  Greta whirled around, her normally docile manner replaced by a mask of anger.  She grabbed Nicole's arm, fingernails digging into her skin.  "Listen to me, Nicole.  I'm only going to warn you once.  I've seen you destroy the lives of too many good men over the years, many of whom I've cared about.  But you're not going to do that to Brady.  If you do one thing to interfere in his life, I swear I'll tear your eyes out," she hissed.

Nicole raised an eyebrow at Greta's vehemence.  "Now, now, Princess, a little protective, aren't we?  What's the matter?  Couldn't find any guys your own age so you've stooped to baby-sitting?"

Greta dropped her arm and pulled away, repulsed.  "You know what's sad, Nicole?  You really think the only way to relate to a man is sexually.  But Brady's my friend.  He's almost like family to me.  And you're not going to turn his life into wreckage like you always do."

"If you're so worried about Brady, you might want to look in another direction," Nicole advised.  "In case you haven't noticed, the only woman who seems capable of having any effect on Brady whatsoever is Phillip's wife.  If you want to protect him, protect him from that bitch."  Confident that she had the last word, Nicole walked away, smiling triumphantly.

And Greta, much as she hated to admit it, wondered if Nicole was right.

~~*~~

Chloe was simply going through the motions as she worked with her choir on Monday.  Her mind was elsewhere.  With Brady, as it had been all weekend.  Could she really get by with never seeing him again?  She had to.  Even the sight of him would be temptation to sin again.

She finally sent the kids on their way and started cleaning up the room.  Thinking she was alone, she started talking to herself.  It was a bad habit she'd picked up from too many years of being on her own.  "Snap out of this," she instructed herself.  "You can forget him.  You did it before."  That was a lie.  She had never forgotten Brady, not for a moment.  She never could.

"Forget who?"

Chloe gasped and whirled around.  "Oh, Meghan, you scared me.  Didn't you leave with the other kids?"

"Yeah," said Meghan, staring at her curiously.  "But I forgot my coat."  She pointed to the jacket on the piano bench.  "I'll just go now."

Chloe sighed, knowing Meghan felt rejected.  Just because she was having a bad day was no reason to take it out on the little girl who had brought so much joy back into her life.  "Meghan, I'm sorry I snapped at you.  Come here, and we'll talk.  Okay?"

Meghan nodded enthusiastically, and Chloe knew she was forgiven.  Oh, for the days of childhood when a simple apology could make everything right!  Chloe and Meghan settled down on the rug in the middle of the classroom.  Meghan eyed her idol hungrily.  When she grew up, she hoped she was half as beautiful as Chloe.  "Would you mind if I braided your hair?" she asked suddenly.

Chloe smiled.  How long had it been since someone else had done that?  _Not since Nancy, she thought wistfully.  "Sure," she agreed, releasing her long tresses from the sever bun and shaking it loose._

Meghan instantly plunged her hands into the thick, dark hair.  "I wish I had hair like yours, Chloe.  Whenever my gets too long, it looks all ratty."

"You have beautiful hair, Meghan," Chloe reassured her.  "When the light hits it just right, it shines like spun gold."

Chloe couldn't see Meghan behind her, but she could hear the smile in her voice.  "I have my mom's hair.  Daddy used to call her his Angel, because she had blonde hair and blue eyes.  He called me his Brown-Eyed Girl.  He used to sing me that song.  Have you ever heard it?"

Chloe nodded.  She was glad Meghan was starting to open up with her memories.  It was much healthier than keeping everything bottled up inside.  Chloe knew from experience.  She didn't want to censor Meghan, so she kept her mouth shut, allowing the little girl to pour out her heart.

"Daddy couldn't sing hardly at all, though.  Mom always laughed when he tried.  She could sing really well, like you.  That's how they met.  My dad was playing piano for a charity event, and my mom was one of the singers.  Daddy always said it was love at first sight.  Mom said she couldn't stand him at first.  Mom always used to tuck me in at night and sing me to sleep.  Then, Daddy would wake me up for school in the morning by playing the piano really loud.  I liked it when he played the Charlie Brown song for me, you know?"

Chloe nodded, surprised at the emotion choking her throat.  Here she was feeling sorry for herself when a sweet little girl like Meghan had lost everything.  Once again, Brady had been right.  She did need Meghan, every bit as much as Meghan needed her.  Meghan continued braiding her hair in silence, and Chloe knew her moment of sharing was over.  "So Meghan, what are your plans for Thanksgiving?" she asked lightly.

"Steve and Maria are taking me with them to visit Maria's parents," she said glumly, referring to her foster parents.

"Don't you like them?" asked Chloe, immediately picking up on the defection in Meghan's tone.

"Steve and Maria are okay, I guess.  The best foster parents I've had.  But Maria's parents live down in Florida.  We're supposed to fly down there."  The fear in Meghan's voice was easily discernable.

Chloe understood.  For months after her parents' accident, she had pitched a fit every time she had to get into a car.  Of course, Meghan wouldn't want to get on a plane.  "Hey, Meghan," suggested Chloe, a sudden idea popping into her head.  "How would you like to spend Thanksgiving weekend at my house?"

"Really?" squealed Meghan.  "I'd love to!"

"Well, I'll have to clear it with your foster parents first; but if they say it's okay, I'd love to have you.  You can be like my little sister for the weekend."  Chloe smiled at the thought of watching holiday movies over a shared bowl of caramel corn.  It would be nice to have a happy Thanksgiving for a change.

Meghan threw her arms around Chloe's neck from behind.  "Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  I can't wait!"

Chloe put her arms over Meghan's.  She smiled.  Neither could she.

Brady came to the door of the music room, and stood watching the touching, almost motherly scene between Chloe and Meghan.   He felt his heart ache.  Would that ever be a reality for them?  Would they one day have a family of their own?  Or were they destined to keep repeating these endless games?

Chloe, with that uncanny sense of connection, felt Brady's eyes on her.  She didn't need to look up to know Brady was standing in the doorway.  She felt her heart beat faster and refused to turn around.  She couldn't see him until she was absolutely in control of her emotions.  This was going to be hard enough to do in her right frame of mind.  Throw her heart into the mix, and she was a goner for sure.

Finally, she had reclaimed enough of her numb, icy shell to let go of Meghan and turn around.  "Hello, Mr. Black," she said coldly, much as he had greeted her that day at his office.

Brady's eyes flickered with a moment's pain, and then he too shut down.  "Hello, Mrs. Kiriakis.  Hey, Meghan."

Meghan looked between the two of them in confusion.  She didn't get it.  Up until now, Chloe and Brady had always seemed to be good friends.  _Oh well, she shrugged.  Maybe they'd had a fight.  It happened.  "Hey, Brady," she greeted him lightly, hoping to relieve some of the tension.  It didn't work.  Chloe and Brady still stared icily at each other.  "Um, I'm going to go now.  Bye, Brady.  Bye, Chloe."  Grabbing her jacket, she escaped the room as quickly as she could._

As soon as Meghan had gone, Brady stepped in closer to Chloe.  "What's going on, Chloe?" he asked, his voice and manner suddenly gentle.  He knew she was shutting down as a defense mechanism, and the last thing he wanted was to push her farther away.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Chloe lied.  She pushed herself up off the rug, not liking the position of weakness sitting put her in.

"Greta said you don't want to see me anymore.  Is that true?" he asked evenly, his eyes giving away none of the emotions raging just beneath the surface.  Like anger.  Like hurt.  Like betrayal.

Chloe took a deep breath.  The sooner she got this over with, the easier it would be on her trembling heart.  "Yes, Brady.  It's true," she replied, miracle of miracles, managing to keep her voice steady.

He winced at her cold tone.  "Why, Chloe?" he asked, walking even closer to her.

Chloe made herself stand still.  She wasn't going to back away, wasn't going to let him intimidate her.  "I think that's obvious.  I'm a married woman, Brady."

"But you love me," Brady protested fervently, coming and taking hold of her arms.  "Just get a divorce.  I swear I'll protect you from whatever it is you're afraid of.  I won't let Phillip touch you."

Chloe smiled, as sad, forlorn, little smile.  "If only it were that simple, Brady.  I'm sorry.  You'll never know just how sorry I am.  But you've got to let me go.  I could never make you happy anyway."

Brady's hands left her arms and instead cupped her neck, forcing her to meet his intense blue gaze.  "That's not true, Chloe.  You are all I want.  You're all I've ever wanted.  Just tell me everything, and I swear I'll make it right."

Chloe couldn't let herself weaken.  Not now.  Her choice had been made a long time ago, and there was no going back.  No matter how much she wanted to.  She pried herself away from his touch.  "No, Brady," she said firmly.  "You can't.  This is one time you can't save me.  You can't save me from myself.  The only way you can help is by letting me go.  I need you to promise me you won't try to see me anymore.  Just pretend like this last month never happened."

"I can't do that, Chloe.  And I don't think you can either," he challenged.  "Tell me that every moment we've spent together hasn't been burned into your brain.  Tell me you haven't spent the last two nights wide awake, remembering that kiss.  Tell me, if you can, that you don't love me every bit as much as I love you."

The temptation to give in was almost too great.  His words were intoxicating her.  His eyes were burning deep holes into her very soul.  And his lips—Oh, his lips!—were just screaming for her to kiss them.  Somehow, Chloe managed to smother every spark of feeling left in her.  "I won't lie to you, Brady.  There's no point.  But I will tell you this.  What happened on Saturday night was one moment of weakness.  Trust me when I say it will never happen again."

It was the dead look in her eyes that convinced him.  Chloe Lane was really and truly gone forever, replaced by that hollow stranger, Mrs. Kiriakis.  He felt pierced through the heart, feeling on top of his own pain all the misery she refused to feel.  "Are you sure this is what you want?" he asked softly.

_No! her heart screamed.  __Of course this isn't what I want.  I want you.  I want to be your best friend again.  I want to be more than that.  I want to be your soulmate, your lover, your wife.  This was her last chance, she knew.  He had put his heart on the line too many times.  He wouldn't do it again.  If she sent him away now, there would be no calling him back.  "Yes, Brady, I'm sure," she replied robotically._

Rather than turning around and walking out the door as she'd expected him to, Brady rested his hands lightly on her shoulders.  He looked down at her, love still shining through the pain in his eyes.  Pain for her.  Pity for her.  God, how could he still love her?  He was a fool!  And she was even more of a fool, because she loved him just as much, and yet wouldn't stop him from leaving her life.  "Be happy, my love," he said softly and kissed her forehead in benediction.

Chloe watched him walk away, tears burning in her eyes.  She knew those were his words of farewell.  Be happy.  But how could she be happy when she had just let the light and joy of her life go walking out the door?

~~*~~

Brady never remembered leaving the Children's Center.  He never remembered getting into his hip, happening jeep and driving aimlessly around Salem for hours.  What he did remember was finally ending up at the pier alone after dark.  He stared out at the lapping water as random, painful memories floated through his mind.  For years, he had blocked them out, wanting his Diva to still sit enthroned as the queen of his heart.

But now, the queen had faltered; the crown had toppled; and the memories came rushing back.  How time after time, he had watched her fall back into Phillip's arms, after living through the latest terror he had put her through.  All the months he had loved her, and she hadn't known, or hadn't cared.  All the times she had smashed his heart into dust, trampling it under her feet.

Maybe they all had it wrong.  Maybe she really did love Phillip.  What other reason could there be for her to stay with him so long?  She'd had every chance to walk away from him, and she still refused.  But she seemed to delight in ripping Brady's life apart at the slightest opportunity.  "No more," Brady vowed.  "She's made her choice, and I'm through fighting for her when she doesn't want to be won.  I can forget her.  I will."

As if to taunt his newly-made promise, sweeter memories came back to him on the breeze, reminding him of why she could never be forgotten….

~~*~~

_"Oh, would you two stop?" groaned Brady, as Chloe joined him in rolling their eyes at the never-ending sappiness that was Belle and Shawn._

_Reluctantly, they broke their kiss and turned to glance at the other couple.  Belle giggled guiltily.  "Sorry.  But this is the first day of spring.  How can we not be a little twitterpated?"_

_The four friends had taken advantage of the bright, warm Saturday to have a picnic in the park.  And as Chloe leaned into her boyfriend's solid chest, she admitted to herself that she wasn't immune to the charms of the day.  Maybe it was the euphoria of these past few months with Brady.  Or maybe, like Belle said, spring was making her "twitterpated."  But in any case, she couldn't seem to muster a dark thought for anyone or anything, even Shawn and Belle's constant, nauseating public displays of affection.  _

_"Yes, because we all know that you two are usually so mature and restrained about your relationship," Chloe teased._

_Belle stuck her tongue out at her best friend.  "You're mature enough for all of us, Chloe.  Come on, Shawn.  Let's leave these responsible adults to themselves.  I want to enjoy what's left of my adolescence," she sniffed._

_Shawn flashed her his famous grin.  "How about hide-and-seek?  I'll give you to one hundred to hide."  Without waiting for her reply, Shawn began to count.  "1, 2, 3…"_

_Shrieking, Belle quickly ran off to hide.  Brady and Chloe watched in amusement as Shawn finished counting—he only cheated a little—and went to find his girlfriend.  _

_"Honestly, they can be so childish," Chloe remarked, getting to her feet, a mischievous gleam in her eye.  "Race you to the swings."  She took off before she even fully issued her challenge._

_Brady followed her, laughing.  He could have outpaced her easily; but he liked the view from where he was, watching the smooth motion of her legs and the way her hair flew wantonly behind her in the breeze.  Seeing the swings up ahead, Brady put on a quick burst of speed and caught up to Chloe.  He quickly turned her around and sat in the swing, pulling her into his lap.  "I win," he bragged with a grin._

_"You cheated," she protested, slapping his arm playfully._

_"I still win," Brady maintained, nuzzling her neck a little as they rocked gently on the swing._

_Chloe relaxed blissfully into his arms, enjoying the moment with just the two of them.  These last few months had been heaven.  She had never before dreamed she could be as happy as Brady made her.  "I could stay like this forever," she breathed._

_His arms tightened protectively around her waist.  "Okay," he agreed, relishing the scent, the feel, the presence of her.  The spring weather was getting to him, too.  "I love you, Diva."_

_Chloe pulled herself rigidly away from him, her eyes wide.  They'd been dating for a while now, but this was the first time either of them had mentioned the "L" word.  They were both too cautious, too scarred, to let themselves fall, or at least to admit that they had.  Or so Chloe had thought.  "What did you say?" she asked, panicked._

_"Diva, calm down," he soothed her, as he gently rubbed a strand of her hair between his fingers.  "I don't expect anything from you in return.  I know how you feel without you having to say the words.  I understand that you're not ready to.  But I am.  I love you, Chloe Lane."  _

_His clear blue eyes looked into hers, and Chloe's heart melted at the look in them.  It wasn't the puppy-doggish look of adoration she used to see in Phillip's eyes.  It was a look of such depth and feeling, it took her breath away.  He knew her exactly as she was, and he loved her in spite of it.  No, not in spite of it, BECAUSE of it.  Chloe felt a strange sensation creep up on her.  It started in the pit of her stomach and worked its way up into her heart, where it buts with the force of a thousand fireworks.  She smiled, for once not needing to analyze it to know what she was feeling.  _

_"I know that you're afraid, Chloe," Brady went on.  "But you won't always be.  I'm going to keep you safe, safe enough that you won't have to hide what you feel anymore.  And I'm willing to wait un—"_

_"Brady Victor Black, for once in your life, will you get tired of the sound of your own voice and let someone else talk for a change?" she interrupted him forcefully._

_He raised an eyebrow in question.  "Yes, ma'am," he said obediently._

_"You think you know me so well, don't you, Brady Black?" she challenged.  "You think you can predict everything I'm going to say and do and think and feel, even before I know myself.  Well, I'm sorry to disrupt this perfect timeline you seem to have set up, Black; but I happen to be madly, passionately, head-over-heels in love with you.  And I'll shout it from the rooftops if I feel like it.  I love you, and I'm not the slightest bit afraid of it."   She finished her declaration, smiling smugly at him._

_For perhaps the first time in his eloquent life, Brady Black was left speechless.  He'd been hit with all the force of a two-ton truck.  Chloe, his Diva, loved him and wasn't even running away from her feelings.  He grinned stupidly.  "Well, okay, then," he stammered._

_She laughed and buried her hands in his hair, drawing him to her.  As their lips touched, Chloe melted inside.  His kisses always had this effect on her, like she was falling slowly out of herself.  And this time it was even more complete, because she didn't try to stop herself.  She had fallen.  Helplessly.  Hopelessly.  Forever in love with Brady Black._

_Brady slowly took control of the kiss, as her lips parted and granted him access to the silky recesses of her mouth.  He touched all the right places, causing her to moan into his mouth.  This kiss was getting out of control.  His head was spinning as if he was drunk.  And he was.  Drunk on her.  Addicted to the taste and feel of his Diva._

_"And you two complained about our little peck," a teasing voice caused them to finally end the kiss.  _

_Looking into the amused faces of his little sister and her boyfriend, Brady tried to muster some witty retort and failed.  He just kept grinning that Cheshire grin.  "Hey," he said, his arms still firmly locked around his priceless Diva.  "She loves me."_

_Chloe's face flushed, but she smiled too.  Belle grinned and wrapped her arms around Shawn.  "Aww," she gushed.  "You two are too cute.  Let me get my camera.  We need a memorial of this day."  She ran off, pulling Shawn along behind her._

_Chloe sighed contentedly.  "I never though this could happen to me, you know.  I never knew someone like me could feel this way.  It's all because of you, Brady.  You must love me so much.  How else could I have reached this place in my life?  I'm in love, and I'm not even afraid of bad things happening anymore."_

_"You don't need to be," Brady assured her.  "Nothing could ever come between us.  Nothing."_

~~*~~

Chloe sat weeping silently on that old swing.  Nothing except her own stupidity.  She had thrown her happiness away not once, but twice.  She had destroyed the love of the most wonderful man in the world.  She had forcibly extracted her own heart from her chest and thrown it in the trash heap.  She looked up into the clear night sky.  There would be no catching the brightest star tonight, or any other night.  She had finally succeeded in pushing away the only person who could lift her up and help her touch the sky.


	9. Chapter Nine

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Nine**

"Wow!" exclaimed Meghan, her eyes trying to take everything in at once.  "This is your home?"

"In a manner of speaking," replied Chloe, smiling weakly.  She had lived in this house of horrors for far too long to be impressed by it.  "Come on.  We'll take your stuff to the guest room."

Chloe took her young friend's suitcase and led her up the stairs and down several long corridors.  Meghan's sharp eyes darted here and there as she tried to imagine what it would be like to live in a house this huge.  "So are you like really rich?" Meghan asked.

Chloe laughed at Meghan's candor.  "Not particularly, no.  This house belonged to my husband's father.  It was willed to my husband, Phillip."

"Am I going to meet him?" asked Meghan, filled with sudden curiosity.  Chloe never really talked about her husband, or her home life.  She confided a lot to Meghan about her parents though.  It was one of the reasons they were so bonded together.

Chloe sighed, a frown flitting across her face.  "Yes, he's going to be coming home later today.  He's been out of town on business.  And this is your room for the weekend," she said with forced brightness, as she led Meghan into a large guestroom.  She set her bags down.

Meghan took in her surroundings.  The dark wood furniture and old four-poster canopy bed gave the room a severe look, only moderately brightened by the white linens and curtains.  But Meghan could tell Chloe had tried to make the room more comfortable for her.  The bookshelf she noted was filled with lots of books she would like, everything from _Harry Potter to __Jane Eyre.  Also, an electronic keyboard had been brought into the bedroom, even though their was a piano in the music room downstairs.  _

"I'm sorry," Chloe apologized.  "There aren't any real kid-friendly rooms in the mansion."

"It's just so big," Meghan said, awed.  "Where's your room?"

"Right across the hall," Chloe reassured her.  "So you won't have to feel alone at all.  I know how lonely this big house can feel.  Now, come on.  I'll give you the full tour, and then we'll order in some pizza."

They had a great day.  They ordered in pizza and watched TV.  Meghan played the piano, and Chloe sang.  Then, when Chloe had to start baking pies and getting some of the food prepared for Thanksgiving, the next day, she was surprised to discover that not only was Meghan eager to help, she was actually pretty good in the kitchen.  With Meghan's help, Chloe managed to make her first two pies—pumpkin and apple—in record time; but as they were starting the pecan pie, the unthinkable happened.  [Sorry if three pies seems excessive to some of you.  It's tradition in my house.]  

"Meghan, I'm out of flour," Chloe announced.  "Could you check and see if there's another bag in the pantry?"

"Sure," said Meghan cheerfully, hopping off her stool and going to the larder.  She came skipping back a moment later with an enormous bag of flour clutched in her arms.  Chloe saw the disaster coming too late to stop it.  Meghan tripped over her shoelace, and the bag ripped open on the counter edge as she fell.  White powder flew into the air and dropped a thin layer of snow over the room.  

Chloe was at Meghan's side in a moment.  "Are you all right, sweetheart?" she asked, not ever remotely aware that she used Nancy's old term of endearment for herself.  

"I'm fine," said Meghan, getting up with a frown.  "But I've got flour all over your kitchen."

Chloe smiled at Meghan's perturbed look.  "Not quite," she replied, reaching into the torn bag.  She put a flour-covered finger to Meghan's nose.  "There.  Now, it's everywhere."

Meghan giggled.  "Nope.  Still places uncovered."  She grabbed a fistful of flour and dropped it in Chloe's hair.  

Chloe shrieked, and the war was on.  In a matter of minutes, they managed to turn the normally spotless Kiriakis kitchen into a disaster area.  Chloe ducked behind the island as Meghan threw a particularly large handful of flour.

"Ha, ha, missed me," Chloe taunted, standing up.  But Meghan's eyes were fastened to a spot beyond Chloe, a look of horror on her face.  Chloe turned around slowly, dreading who she'd find.  Sure enough, there was Phillip, flour splayed across his suit.  He did not look pleased.

"Honey, I'm home," he said casually, but his eyes glittered with anger.  

"Phillip," Chloe breathed, upset that he was home even though she knew it was coming.  She spotted the confused, scared look on Meghan's face, however, and quickly pulled herself together.  "Phillip, this is Meghan Fallon.  She's a girl from the Children's Center, and she'll be spending the weekend with us.  Meghan, this is my husband, Phillip Kiriakis."  She tried to keep her tone light and airy and ignored the look on Phillip's face.

"It's nice to meet you, Phillip," said Meghan politely, not even guessing the faux pas she was committing.  At the Children's Center and in her foster parents' home, it was normal to call adults by their first names.  But apparently, not in the mind of Phillip Kiriakis.  As his silence lengthened, she squirmed uncomfortably.  She felt like she'd just been called to the principal's office.

Finally, Phillip dropped his solemn stare.  He dropped to his knees in front of Meghan and faked a smile at her.  "It's nice to meet you too, Meg," he said sugary.  Chloe winced.  Meghan hated that nickname.  But the child remained silent.  Perhaps Phillip intimidated her as much as he did Chloe.  

"Now, would you mind leaving us alone for a minute so that I can have a word with Mrs. Kiriakis?" he said pointedly, stressing Chloe's title.  

Meghan barely stopped herself from rolling her eyes.  He was talking to her like she was four years old.  She turned to look at Chloe.  Chloe didn't look any happier about this than she was.  She was glaring coldly at Mr. Kiriakis.  "Chloe?" said Meghan, that one word questioning everything she was seeing.

Chloe faced Meghan, forcing herself to smile.  "It's okay, Meghan.  Why don't you go to your room and pick out a book for us to read together?  I'll be along in a minute."

Meghan nodded; and with one more suspicious glance at Phillip, she left the kitchen.  Husband and wife glared at each other in silence for several long minutes, each trying to break the other first.  Chloe won.

Phillip cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "Mind telling me what this is all about?  Is it too much to ask to come home to a clean, quiet house with my wife waiting for me alone?"

Chloe stared icily at him.  "Would you like me barefoot and pregnant as well?"

"It would be a start," Phillip retorted angrily.  "What's gotten into you lately?  Last time I came home, you weren't even here.  This time you have a strange child running around, wreaking havoc.  What next?"

"I don't know, Phillip.  Why don't you go away again, and we'll find out?"  Chloe was furious.  What right did he have to treat Meghan the way he had?  It was one thing how he treated her.  She had walked into it with her eyes wide open.  But for Phillip to be so cold to an innocent child?  Chloe was more grateful than ever for the birth control pills hidden in her night stand.  Not that Phillip would be getting the opportunity to touch her in the foreseeable future.

"This is my house!" Phillip thundered, in his best lord of the manor voice.  "I come home, and you've got some little bratty waif staying here, and I'm not allowed to be a little bit upset about it?  You didn't even mention anything about it on the phone.  Couldn't you at least have discussed it with me first?"

"It's my house too," Chloe retorted hotly.  "And as long as I'm going to be stuck in this personal hell you've made for me, I demand the right to have a few moments of peace and happiness every once in a while.  Meghan is not some bratty monster, like you seem to think.  You don't even know her; and as far as I'm concerned, it can stay that way.  But she's my guest.  You don't have to speak to her, if you don't like; but she's staying."

Phillip was stunned at his wife's defiant, determined tone.  She hadn't spouted her mouth off like this since the night he found her with those photographs.  He thought she had learned her lesson that night.  Maybe she needed a refresher course.  "What's gotten into you lately?  You know, if helping with this choir is having such a bad influence on you, maybe you should give it up."

If Phillip expected her ultimatum to cow Chloe, he was to be bitterly disappointed.  She'd had enough of his threats, enough of his controlling possessiveness.  She had given up the one person who she truly loved, just because of him.  She wasn't going to let her last link to sanity slip away.  Her eyes flashed dangerously.  "No way in hell.  You've spent years robbing me of every bit of joy in my life.  I've finally found some small piece of it again, and you're not taking it away from me."

Phillip, seeing his threats weren't going to work tonight, immediately transformed into the weak, sniveling puppy-dog Chloe knew and despised.  "Do you really hate me so much?" he blubbered.  "Because I love you so much, Chloe.  You're my life.  I couldn't live if you didn't love me."

She felt a pang of guilt for her harsh words.  She knew he was manipulating her, but she also knew the note of truth behind his words.  Wasn't that why she stayed?  She had to protect him from himself.  It was her duty.  "No, Phillip," she sighed.  "I don't hate you.  But I need you to understand how important this choir and that little girl are to me.  I need them.  Please, don't make me give them up."

Her appeal to his beneficence worked.  He smiled indulgently.  "Of course, Chloe, if they're so important to you.  But just who is this little girl, and why is she here?"

"Meghan's a foster child.  Her guardians went out of town for Thanksgiving, and I volunteered to take her."  Chloe only gave Phillip the barest details.  The same way she tried to protect her own secrets from Phillip, she felt obligated to spare Meghan.

"A foster child?" Phillip repeated, disgust evident in his tone.  "Why would you bring one of them into our home?  She could be a liar, a thief, or worse."

Chloe felt her anger boiling just below the surface.  "Believe me, she's not.  And have you forgotten that I was a foster child too?"

Phillip shifted uncomfortably.  He had forgotten that.  He chose to forget a lot of things about Chloe's past.  They were too distasteful to him.  "That was different," he covered, though he knew it was a bad excuse.

"How?" Chloe challenged.  "Because you didn't know me when I was?  Trust me I was just like Meghan once.  If you don't like her, you would have detested me."

"Look, Chloe," Phillip began, knowing there was no way he would win this argument.  "I've had a long trip and a long day.  Right now, I just want to go sleep in my own bed, with my own wife.  Can we do that?"

"You can go to bed," Chloe said coldly.  "I'm going to go read to Meghan.  And then, I have to clean up this mess and get ready for Thanksgiving."

Phillip looked mutinous for just a moment, then nodded.  "Okay.  By the way, I have my own guests coming over tomorrow.  I invited Jason and Mimi over for Thanksgiving dinner."

A cold chill invaded Chloe's stomach.  She hadn't forgotten about her close call with them at The Blue Note.  What if they had seen her after all?

~~*~~

"Hey, Meghan," said Chloe, knocking lightly on her already ajar door.  Much to her surprise, Meghan was already in her pajamas, snuggled under her blankets with an open book.

"Hey, Chloe.  I hope you don't mind.  I started reading without you."

"That's fine.  What book did you choose?" asked Chloe, coming to sit on the edge of her bed.

Meghan shut the book, allowing Chloe to see the title.  "_A Little Princess.  It's one of my favorites," she confessed.  "I've read it at least a dozen times."_

Chloe smiled.  Yet another thing she and Meghan had in common.  She could remember reading that book over and over again as they bounced her from home to home.  Something about the sufferings of little Sara Crewe had made her hope that there might be a happy ending for her too.  "Mine too.  That's actually my old copy."

"No wonder it's falling apart, if it's as old as you," Meghan teased.

"Apologize now, you wretched little imp!" Chloe demanded, tickling her for her insult.  She delighted in the little girl's giggles.  How long had it been since there had been laughter in this house?

"Okay, okay," Meghan gasped breathlessly.  "I'm sorry.  You're not _that old."_

Chloe smiled triumphantly and ceased the torture.  She settled back on the pillows with Meghan and the book.  "That's better.  Now, where are you?"

"Not very far."  Meghan opened the book to the first French lesson.  Chloe started reading aloud, and Meghan relaxed to the soothing, musical tone of Chloe's voice.  Chloe read all the way to the passage where Sara makes Lottie stop crying by telling her about their mothers in heaven.  Chloe was struck anew by the beauty of the childish interpretation of heaven.

"Do you believe in heaven, Chloe?" Meghan interrupted her, her eyes aglow with tears in the lamplight.

Chloe paused, not sure of how to respond.  If there was heaven, if there was God, then why were so many people so unhappy?  Why did this little girl lay beside her, robbed of her parents, of all those who truly loved her?  Why was she forever to be imprisoned in this unholy excuse for a marriage?  Why did a wonderful guy like Brady have to love a woman like her, who would only cause him pain?

But as she looked into Meghan's deep, brown eyes, she considered the other side of the question.  Was there a purpose to her life?  Was it more than mere chance that had brought the two of them together?  Was there a reason behind her undying love for Brady?  Was there even, perhaps, a Divine plan at work that intended to work good from Meghan's tragedy?  She looked at Meghan, still so free from bitterness even with all she had been through; and she knew.  Only faith would keep Meghan pure, only faith would stop her from becoming like Chloe.  

"Yes, Meghan, I do," she answered firmly.  "And I'm sure your mom and dad are looking down at you from heaven right now, and making sure you're safe and well and happy."

Meghan sighed contentedly.  She glanced up at her adopted big sister and saw for the first time the pain so deep it could never heal.  "What about your mom and dad, Chloe?  The ones who died in the car crash, I mean.  Do you think they want you to be happy?"

"Then why are you so sad?" the little girl asked, her doe eyes open wide.

"You think I'm sad?" questioned Chloe, shocked.  Her walls must be slipping if a ten-year-old girl could see her misery.

"I didn't, until tonight.  It's your husband, isn't it?  He's the one who makes you unhappy," said Meghan, with wisdom beyond her years.

Chloe avoided the girl's eyes.  She prided herself on being complex and secretive; but now, not only could Brady see through her completely, so could Meghan.  "With adults it's not always so simple," Chloe tried to explain.  "It can't always be broken down into happy and unhappy.  There's a place in between where most people just go about their lives without bothering to analyze their emotions."

Meghan rolled her eyes.  "Sorry for the language, but that's a load of crap.  And you know it.  You're unhappy.  Your husband's the reason why.  You just aren't going to do anything about it."

Chloe stared at the girl, open-mouthed in shock.  "What on earth…?  Okay, Meghan.  That's enough.  It's time for you to go to sleep."  She put the book on the bedside table.

Meghan looked hurt as she settled back on her pillows.  "You're not mad at me, are you, Chloe?"  There was an irresistible not of pleading to her voice.  

Chloe smoothed the girl's hair back and smiled down at her.  "No, Meghan, I'm not angry.  I always want you to be honest with me."

"Good," said Meghan, her smiling face looked more than a little sleepy.  "Good night, Chloe."

"Night, Meghan.  Sweet dreams."  Chloe flicked off the lamp and headed down to the kitchen to clean up the mess they had made.

~~*~~

Greta was grateful she had her own key to Brady's apartment.  She doubted he would have let her in.  As she slipped inside, the smell of stale alcohol greeted her senses.  She wrinkled her nose.  Brady's normally spotless apartment wasn't so spotless anymore.  And Brady himself could do with a shower and a shave.  She saw him passed out on his couch and frowned.  

Shaking her head, she started tidying up, throwing out the empty beer bottles and take-out containers.  Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.  She came and shook him roughly awake.  "Okay, Brady.  We've all given you almost a week to feel sorry for yourself.  It's time to get back to living."

Brady sat up, shaking his head groggily.  It was pounding.  He glared fiercely at Greta.  "Do you think you could be a little louder?"

Ignoring him, Greta flicked on the overhead light, noticing with a perverse pleasure how he winced.  "Have you forgotten your sister is getting in tomorrow for Thanksgiving?  Your family is expecting you to be there.  They're all worried about you.  I've gotten calls from both John and Marlena wondering if I knew what had happened to you.  You haven't gone to work all week long, Brady.  And now, I find you like this.  What if you had gotten alcohol poisoning?  Did you ever think about that?"

Brady groaned, burying his head in his hands.  "Just get lost, Greta.  I'm not in the mood."

"Too bad," Greta said firmly.  She'd had enough of his self-pity.  She'd had enough of seeing one of her dearest friends fall apart over a girl who wasn't worthy of him anyway.  "Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, Brady.  And the way I see it, you have a lot to be thankful for.  Your sister, who you adore, is coming home.  You have parents who still worry about you.  You have more money than most people could even dream of.  You have a group of children that are convinced you walk on water.  And you have me, the greatest friend anyone could ever have."  She was teasing, but Brady didn't laugh.  He didn't even smile.

"Yeah, well, sorry if that's not a huge consolation at the moment," he remarked bitterly.  He couldn't get her face out of his head.  He was sure he'd downed enough alcohol over the past few days to kill all his brain cells; but still, he could see her.  Every word she'd ever said to him played in his mind like a record with a skip in it.  He could almost taste her; her presence was so real to him.  

"So Chloe didn't choose you.  There are worse things, Brady," Greta said in a softer tone.  "Like seeing your best friend destroying himself.  I love you, Brady Black.  A lot of people do, and you owe it to us to keep going on.  I'm not saying to forget her.  I'm not saying I can snap my fingers and make the pain go away.  But please, don't shut yourself off from me and your family, okay?  We can help you get through it better."

"I love her, Greta," he admitted painfully.  "I love her so much it's like there's a deep wound in my heart; and everything inside of me, everything I am, is slowly leaking out of me, killing me.  I love her, and she loves me.  Why can't that be enough?  She should be here with me now.  Not with him.  Never with him."

Greta's heart broke for him.  She pulled him to her in a fierce hug, letting him rest his aching head on her shoulder.  "Listen to me, Brady.  If she let you go, she's a fool.  And she'll have to pay the fool's price.  But you…"  She pulled away from him and cradled his head in her hands.  "You are going to move on.  I know it doesn't feel like it right now.  But you will.  You'll move on, and find someone wonderful who values you for everything you are."

Brady smiled, despite himself.  Greta was so compassionate, so concerned about his welfare; but she didn't understand.  Greta had yet to meet her soulmate.  She couldn't comprehend the connection that would never die.  As long as he lived, Chloe would be the only one in his heart.  He knew the same was true for her, as well.  But somehow, she made herself ignore that connection.  He couldn't.  "Thanks, Greta," he said, though he wasn't exactly sure what he was grateful for.  Maybe just her friendship.

Greta smiled too, though she still noticed the terrifying dead look in his eyes.  Time would heal that, she comforted herself by thinking.  "You're welcome.  So to get this straight, you are going to Thanksgiving dinner with your family tomorrow?"

Brady sighed.  He had been looking forward to his sister's visit for months; and now that it was here, he could barely muster enthusiasm for it.  _Snap out of it, Black, he berated himself.  Belle had always been the most important person in his life.  That couldn't change now.  "Yeah, I'm going.  What about you?  Are you coming?"_

"Your father invited me," Greta told him.  "But I've already agreed to join the Hortons for Thanksgiving dinner.  I might stop by later though for pie.  You can never have enough pie."

Brady laughed.  It was far from his usual boisterous laughter, but it was a start.  "All right, Greta. Your rescue mission is accomplished.  You can tell Dad and Marlena that I'm alive and well.  Oh, but could you not mention the Chloe thing to anyone?  I'm not worried for me, but I would hate for anything to get back to Phillip.  I don't even want to think about what he'd do to her."

Greta nodded.  The thought had occurred to her too.  She, Brady, and Chloe hadn't had the slightest idea of the fire they were playing with when they started out on this disastrous road.


	10. Chapter Ten

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Ten**

Brady couldn't imagine a time when he was less in the mood for a family dinner.  If it wasn't for Greta's nagging and the fact that Belle was only going to be in town for the weekend, he wouldn't even have bothered.  But not having seen his sister for almost a year, he was prepared to make a few sacrifices of his personal comfort.  He had downed several aspirin before coming over, hoping to take off the edge of the pounding headache that was his reward for a week of constant drinking.

"Brady!" squealed Belle as she threw open the door to John and Marlena's penthouse.  Her shrill cry did nothing for his headache.  She practically jumped into his arms.  "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you too, Tink," Brady confessed, as he lifted her feet off the ground to carry her into the apartment.  "Let me look at you."  He held her away from him and took in her tan and her sun-bleached hair.  Even her eyes seemed brighter than before.  "No need to ask if you've been enjoying yourself."

Belle grinned at her brother.  "It's a wonderful thing to have sun in the middle of winter, Brady.  You should come visit us this winter."

"I almost might just to see my sister in a place with no plug-ins for her hair-dryer," Brady teased.

"Hey, you'd be surprised," said Shawn, coming up and putting an arm around his wife.  "Belle's done surprisingly well roughing it in inhospitable lands."  He smiled proudly at his perfect girl.

"Hey, Shawn," Brady greeted him, with a handshake and a clap on the back.  "Any chance you might let my sister stay around for a while this time?"

"Sorry, Brady," Belle responded.  "Where Shawn goes, I go.  We're off to Africa after the weekend.  But in the meantime, I confess I'm making the most of hot baths and shopping malls."

"Nice to know the Peace Corps hasn't turned you into a complete humanitarian," Brady responded, grinning at his sister's small vanities.  

Two little boys came thundering down the steps, a third older boy dragging along behind.  "Whoa, slow down," said Brady, blocking the boys' path before they could wreak havoc on Marlena's living room.

"Hey, Brady.  When'd you get here?" Isaac asked, giving his big brother a hug.  He idolized Brady, but Brady had seemed to disappear this past week.  "Want to come play?  J.T. and I are playing with my trucks."

"Wow! Trucks, huh?" asked Brady, with a touch of amusement as he ruffled Isaac's hair.  "I'd love to.  Just give me a few minutes with Tinkerbelle first, okay?"

Isaac nodded emphatically.  "Cool!"

"Will you come too, Shawn?" asked the much-quieter J.T.  He was content to stay in his best friend's shadow.

"I sure will, Buddy."  Shawn grinned at his adopted brother.  "In fact, I'll come now and let them talk."

"Good," put in Isaac.  "Then, you can tell Will to quit snapping the heads off my army men and flicking them at us."

Brady instantly looked up the stairs at the sullen twelve-year-old.  Will Roberts had become a real problem child.  Not that Brady was surprised.  Who wouldn't be with Sami as a mother?  But Will had better not start picking on Isaac, or Brady would have serious words with his mother.

Seeing the dangerous gleam in Brady's eye, Shawn spoke quickly.  "Okay.  I'll take care of it.  Come on, boys.  Let's go play."  He raced the three boys up the stairs and into Isaac's room, which had once been his big brother's. 

Brady waited until the door was shut before he spoke to his sister.  "What, Sami couldn't be bothered with her own son on Thanksgiving?" he asked harshly.

Belle gave him a reproachful look.  "That's not fair, Brady.  Whatever you may think of Sami personally, she's a great mother.  She's just in the kitchen with everyone else."

Brady made a face.  He knew it wasn't accidental that no one had bothered to mention that Sami was going to be there.  Great.  Now, he was going to have to exchange small talk over turkey with the Wicked Witch of the West.

Belle took in his look in a second.  "Brady, you are going to behave yourself," she warned.  "This is a day for family."

"She's your family, not mine," Brady retorted mutinously.  Still seeing that look on Belle's face though, he relented.  "But I'll be good if she will."

Belle nodded approvingly.  "Enough about Sami.  Let's talk about you.  What's going on in the life of Brady Victor Black?  Tell me all the juicy gossip that doesn't make those boring financial pages Dad's always sending me."  She slid onto the couch edge.

Brady laughed and sat beside her, pinching her kneecap.  "You shouldn't make fun, Tink.  Those 'boring financial pages' make it possible for you to go around the world and back again."

"Yes, who'd have thought my rebel brother would grow up to be the dull, humdrum businessman, while I became the world traveler?  Do you wear suits to work and everything?" she teased.

"And everything," Brady repeated.  "What about you?  Do you manage to live without make-up in the wilds of Africa?"

"I do," Belle said proudly.  She had developed into a strong, independent woman of the world over the last few years.  Well, independent of everything but Shawn.  She thought that would never change.  She leaned in closer to her brother and whispered conspiratorially, "Want to hear a secret?  I haven't even told Mom this yet, but Shawn and I want to start a family.  So, when our time with the Peace Corps runs out at the beginning of next year, we're coming home to Salem."

Brady was thrilled.  He'd missed his Tinkerbelle so much while she was away.  "That's great, Tink!" he exclaimed, giving her a bear hug.  "We've missed you."

Belle pulled away, smiling.  She was glad to be coming home, too.  She'd had enough of traveling.  It had been more Shawn's dream than hers, but she didn't regret any of it.  Away from Salem, they'd had a chance to bond together that they never would have had surrounded by all of their family and friends.  But now was the time to grow up and move on.  Belle couldn't wait to own her first house and have her first baby and all of those things that normal couples did.  "It will be good to be home.  So what will I be coming home to?" she asked slyly.

"What do you mean?  I'm sure between Marlena and Mimi, you've been kept more than a little informed on the latest in Salem gossip."

"Oh, I have," Belle replied gaily.  "I know all about the older generation, thanks to Mom; and the younger generation, thanks to Meems.  The only person who's a complete enigma is my own brother.  Well, unless you count tabloid stories of course.  By the way, how are things going with that Victoria Secret model?"

Brady rolled his eyes.  "Is that what they're saying now?"

Belle giggled.  "Uh-huh.  I never cared much for tabloids before, but now I read every one I can find.  Do you know that you are the richest bachelor in the world?  You can't imagine how many women want to marry you for your money.  And your looks don't hurt either.  Plus, the fascination you provide by being such a private person.  So what about it, Brady?  Are you seeing anyone special?"    

Belle tried to make her questions sound light and unimportant; but in truth, she was worried.  Marlena had mentioned enough in her letters and e-mails to make Belle a little uneasy about her brother.  Then, when she had seen him today, she had known instantly that something was the matter.  She had only seen that look on his face once before, and that was when Chloe Lane had broken his heart.  Had someone done it again?

Brady caught on to the subtle prying behind his sister's questions.  "Why so curious, Tink?  Do you have someone in mind?"

"No, I'm just trying to get a good scoop for the _Enquirer," Belle answered breezily.  "No one thinks it's right for a guy as loaded and good-looking as you are to be single."_

They heard Marlena and Hope laughing as they left the kitchen with John, Bo, Sami, and Brandon on their heels.  "Yes, Brady," said Marlena, putting her arms around her stepson's shoulders.  "'_It is a fact universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.'"_

Hope and Belle laughed, recognizing the Jane Austen quote.  Brady shifted uncomfortably.  He had the wretched feeling his love life was about to be put under the microscope.  As usual, he was right.  

"But you can't marry just anyone," Belle instructed.  "We've got to think of someone who's good enough for you.  And as your sister, I'm very particular about that."

"There's always Nicole," put in John.  To which, Belle made a face and Brandon looked murderous.

"Or Greta," added Hope.  "You're good friends with her, aren't you, Brady?"

"Can we change the subject, please?" pleaded Brady desperately.  Bo and John laughed, but the women went on as if they hadn't heard him.  

"Ooh, Princess Greta," Belle mused.  "If Brady married her, would he be a prince?"

"He does have a sort of fairy-tale quality about him," teased Marlena, with her phony smile.  

"But would he have to become Brady von Hamburg?" continued Hope.  "Because I don't think that would be quite right."

The three women, along with Bo and John, collapsed in fits of laughter.  Brady stared at them as though they'd all gone insane, and he wasn't quite sure they hadn't. What had they been smoking in that kitchen?  "Let's just drop this subject."

Sami's eyes narrowed as she watched the scene unfold like some bad 1950's sitcom.  All the happily married people try to set up the confused, innocent bachelor.  Only he wasn't so innocent, and Sami knew it.  It was time everyone else did too.  "What about Chloe Kiriakis?" she questioned casually.

All the air was sucked out of the room.  Bo and Hope, by unspoken consent, decided this would be a good time to check on the boys and slipped quietly away.  Brandon shot his wife a warning glance, which she pretended not to notice.  Marlena glared at Sami in reproach for causing a scene at a family reunion.  John looked away, afraid to be confronted by something he'd suspected all along.  Belle glanced at Brady in confusion, who in turn, was glaring icily at his wicked stepsister.

"What about her?" Brady finally said through gritted teeth.

"Are you really going to pretend you don't know?" Sami shot back.  "I have it from a very good source that you've been sending Phillip away on purpose to leave Chloe to yourself, that you've been seen—"

"That's enough, Samantha," interrupted Brandon, his eyes glittering angrily.  Why had Nicole been fool enough to confide in him when Sami had been in the very next room?  He knew why of course, though he didn't want to admit it.  Nicole had wanted Sami to find out.  She wanted to see Brady and especially Chloe dragged through the mud.  

"Why are you defending him?" Sami accused, rounding on her husband.  "Everyone's treated him like some sort of hero for years. 'Oh, Brady helps those children so much…' 'Brady Black?  Why, he's such a generous businessman…' 'He takes such care of his family…'  Have you all forgotten all the stuff he's pulled over the years, all the hell he put Dad and Mom through?"  She turned her flashing eyes on Brady.  "If they have, I haven't.  You're the same Brady, you've always been.  Pretending to be so high and moral, when all the time you're having an affair with your uncle's wife!  At least no one could ever accuse me of being a hypocrite."

"Stop it, Sami," Marlena ordered in a tone she usually reserved for Isaac when he was being especially naughty.  "This is Thanksgiving, and you are in my home.  You will keep your vicious slanders to yourself, or you will leave."

Sami couldn't believe it.  Her own mother was taking his side.  Tears of anger and self-pity stung her eyes.  "I'm going to go check on Will."  She stormed upstairs without another word.

Brandon shifted awkwardly in the silent room.  "I'm very sorry for that.  Samantha was out of line.  It won't happen again."

Brady wished he could believe him, but he knew it was only a matter of time before someone let something slip in front of the wrong person.  He dreaded to think what would happen to Chloe if this distorted tale of their relationship reached Phillip's ears.

~~*~~

Meghan rested her chin on her hands as she lay flopped in front of the television watching Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.  Her eyes were glued to the screen.

"Meghan," said Chloe, coming into the room behind her.  "I brought some snacks.  It's going to be late afternoon before we eat."  Chloe set down the dip, vegetable tray, and potato chips on the coffee table.  She glanced at the back of Meghan's blonde head.  Meghan still hadn't turned around.  "Meghan?" asked Chloe quietly, sitting down beside her.

Meghan finally turned to look at her.  Unshed tears glimmered in her eyes.  "It was tradition.  Every Thanksgiving we'd have our pumpkin pie for breakfast while we watched the parade.  So when I was eight," Meghan stopped, tears choking her voice.  Chloe's heart ached for her, knowing there was nothing she could do to take the pain away.

"When I was eight," Meghan continued haltingly.  "My dad was out of town for two months on a concert tour.  Mom and I couldn't' go with him because of my school.   But he was going to be gone over Thanksgiving, and I threw a huge fit about it.  So Mom got me up in the middle of the night before, and we drove all the way to New York to be with him on Thanksgiving.  We went to watch the parade; and then afterwards, they took me out for pumpkin pie."

Chloe found it difficult to hold her own tears back.  What a mingled joy and pain memories were.  The worst kind of double-edged sword.  "It sounds like a wonderful Thanksgiving, Meghan."

"Yeah," Meghan whispered, sitting up.  "It was their last one."  She got to her feet and ran out of the room before Chloe could stop her.

"Meghan, wait," Chloe called, following after her.

Meghan ran down the hall and up the stairs, knocking past Phillip on her way and causing him to stumble down the stairs on his butt.  "F***ing watch where you're going!" he screamed after her.  Meghan just kept on going.

Chloe glared at her husband.  "Don't you dare use that word in front of her again, Phillip," she warned.

"She could kill someone like that," Phillip muttered darkly, getting up.

"Oh please," said Chloe, rolling her eyes.  Without another thought for her husband, she started up the stairs in search of Meghan.  Before she was halfway up, the doorbell rang.

"Are you going to get that?" Phillip snapped.  "I've got to go change.  I tore my shirt when that demon pushed me."

Chloe rolled her eyes at the "tear," a tiny rip at the cuff.  "Fine," she returned harshly, as they passed each other on the steps.  "But they're your guests.  Once you're back, I'm seeing to Meghan."

Phillip just stormed up the steps as the doorbell rang for a second time.  Sighing in exasperation, Chloe opened the door.  She plastered a welcoming smile to her face.  "Hey, Mimi, Jason, Tyler.  Happy Thanksgiving.  Come on in."

"Happy Thanksgiving," said Mimi, entering the Kiriakis mansion with a bowl of stuffing in one arm and her two year old son in the other.  Her husband followed with a bottle of wine.

"Here, let me take that," Chloe offered, taking the bowl of stuffing.

"Thanks," sighed a relieved Mimi.  She was exhausted.  It had taken all her energy to get Tyler ready for the day.  She never knew mothering a toddler would be so hard.  She had barely removed his coat when he took off down the hall.  Sighing, she prepared to follow him.

"Don't worry about it, Meems," said Jason, squeezing her shoulder.  "I'll get him."  Taking off his jacket and handing the wine to Chloe, Jason took off in pursuit of his son.  "Come on, you little monster.  Daddy's going to get you."

Mimi and Chloe stared awkwardly at each other.  They made an attempt at civility for their husbands' sakes; but underneath it all, they hated each other as much as ever.  "I'll just take these to the kitchen," said Chloe, indicating the food she was holding.

"Do you need any help?" Mimi volunteered half-heartedly.

"No, that's all right.  You can just go into the living room.  The parade's on, and snacks are out."

Mimi nodded; and the two women went their separate ways, each very much relieved.  Chloe felt she truly breathed for the first time since Phillip had announced the Masters were coming for dinner.  If Mimi had seen her in The Blue Note, she would have wasted no time in confronting her about it.

Depositing the food and wine in the kitchen, Chloe took the back stairs up to the second floor.  She needed to make sure Meghan was all right.  She knocked gently on the girl's door.  "Meghan?  Are you in there?  Can I come in?"

"Yeah," Meghan replied, though her voice sounded muffled.

Chloe came in quietly.  Meghan was lying face down on her bed, a wet spot on her pillow proof to her misery.  Chloe sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing the little girl's back.  She sighed.  "I wish I knew what to say to you, Meghan.  I don't.  I've lived through it; and there's still nothing I can say that will take away the pain you're feeling now."

Meghan sat up, rubbing her red-rimmed eyes in her splotchy face.  "Sometimes I wish I could just forget, you know?  And other times I'm afraid I will."

"Oh, honey," breathed Chloe, drawing Meghan to her for a bone-crushing hug.  "You'll never forget them.  But with time, the pain will ease.  Someday you'll be able to remember them with a smile, and not with tears."

Meghan nodded bleakly and pulled away.  "Okay.  I'm sorry I'm spoiling your Thanksgiving."

"Spoiling?" Chloe repeated incredulously.  "Meghan, this is the best Thanksgiving I've had in years.  In fact, what I'm most thankful for this year is getting to know you."

"Really?" asked Meghan with a surprised, gratified smile.  "I'm thankful for you too, Chloe."

Chloe smiled back at her.  "I'm glad.  Want to come help me with dinner?"

"Uh-huh," said Meghan enthusiastically.  "I love turkey and mashed potatoes."

"Who doesn't?" Chloe laughed.  "Come on."  She and Meghan took the back stairs down, avoiding the others.  They could hear Phillip and Jason's shouts as they watched the football game.  Chloe and Meghan got to work.  Chloe was surprised at how quiet Meghan was being.  Apparently, she didn't want to see the others any more than Chloe did.

Eventually, Mimi entered through the swinging doors, Tyler perched on her hip.  "Hey, Chloe?  I was wond—"  She spotted Meghan and stopped short.  She smiled.  "Hi there.  I don't think I've met you yet."

Meghan retreated a little behind Chloe.  As a rule, she didn't like new people.  Chloe was one of few exceptions.  Chloe put a reassuring arm around the girl's shoulders.  "Mimi, this is Meghan Fallon.  She's staying with me for the weekend.  Meghan, this is Mimi Lockhart-Masters and her son Tyler."

"It's nice to meet you, Meghan," Mimi said politely.  Then, as if sensing Meghan's shyness, she turned back to Chloe.  "Chloe, I was wondering if there's someplace I can put Tyler down for a nap before dinner."

"No nap," said Tyler obstinately.  Meghan grinned at him.  He noticed her out of the corner of his eye and smiled too.

"Oh sure," said Chloe.  "I'll take you to one of the bedrooms."  She fumbled with the strings on her apron.  The timer for the rolls went off.  "Just wait a sec."

"I can take them," volunteered Meghan brightly, her eyes only on the little boy.  "He can nap in my room."

"Thanks, Meghan," Chloe breathed gratefully.  She grabbed some hot pads as Meghan led mother and son out of the room.  Chloe had just set the rolls on a cooling rack when the door swung open again.  

"Meems?"  Jason called.  He instantly saw that his wife was not there and shifted uncomfortably.  "Oh, sorry, I—"

"Mimi took Tyler up for a nap," Chloe informed him.  "Is there something I can help you with?"

"No, I…"  He stopped and appeared to change his mind.  He stepped fully into the kitchen, making sure the door closed behind him.  "Actually, there is something I've been wondering about."

Something about the look in his eyes tipped Chloe off.  This was not going to be pleasant.  "What, Jason?" she responded coldly.

"Just how long have you been screwing around with Brady Black behind Phillip's back?" he asked, every quietly spoken word screaming the disdain he felt for her.

This was it.  Her worst fear realized.  "It's not what you think," Chloe began panicked; then stopped, realizing how desperate she sounded.  It truly wasn't what he thought, so she went on more calmly, "I'm not sleeping with Brady, Jason."

"Oh, really?" Jason said, obviously not believing her.  "Well, you seemed rather…close at The Blue Note the other night."  Close didn't even come close to being the right word.  He had practically felt the heat between them all the way across the room.

"Believe me or not, but we were only there as friends.  Nothing happened."  She met his gaze unflinchingly, hoping he would see she was telling the truth.  

Jason did see.  Either she was a much cooler liar than he gave her credit for, or she wasn't lying at all.  "So why were you out with him?" he accused.

Chloe broke eye contact with him for a moment.  Jason was Phillip's best friend.  What was to stop him from marching through the door and telling Phillip what he'd seen?  But why hadn't he already?  She could only assume that he had wanted to give her a chance to explain herself first.  Which meant she had to be completely honest with him, however unpleasant the thought of letting Jason in on any part of her life was.

"Brady and I both volunteer at the Children's Center," she explained.  "Greta invited us both out to dinner, but then had to bail at the last minute.  So Brady and I went out together.  As friends."

Jason considered her words.  "So why'd you shoot out of there so fast when you spotted us?"

"Do you really need me to answer that?  You and Mimi are Phillip's best friends.  I haven't even told Phillip about working with Brady.  I didn't want it getting back to Phillip this way."

"Why not?" Jason accused.  "If, as you say, nothing's going on with Brady, why don't you tell Phillip?"

Chloe exhaled loudly.  "Look, I know how you and Phillip are such great friends, but you can't be blind to his faults.  If Phillip finds out I've even seen Brady, he'll go ballistic."

Jason had to admit she had a point.  He'd seen Phillip in a jealous rage more times than he cared to recall.  But on the other hand, Phillip was a great guy; and Chloe had never topped his list of favorite people.  While Phillip might never have questioned Chloe's decision to dump Brady for him, Jason had.  Often.  It's not like she seemed all that happy in her marriage.  Maybe she had seen a chance to be back with her old lover and grabbed it.  After all, she had only said that she wasn't sleeping with Brady, not that she wasn't planning to.

"Maybe he has a reason to," Jason said through gritted teeth.  Suspicion had instantly transformed to guilt in his mind.

Chloe flushed red hot.  What right did he have to stand there in judgment of her?  After all, it wasn't like Jason was such a saint himself.  Not even close.  "Think what you want, Jason.  I don't care anymore," she said, with a growing sense of futility.  "You want to go out there and tell Phillip that his wife is a lying adulterous tramp, go ahead!  I can't stop you.  But his reaction will be on your head, not mine."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Jason, hearing the note of sadness in her voice.  It was like she could see the future already unfolded before her eyes.  "What do you think he'll do?"

She kept her mouth closed tightly and shook her head.  She hadn't kept quiet for so long, only to tell a jerk like Jason the truth about Phillip.  It's not like Jason would believe her anyway.  "Look, I've told you the truth.  I am not having, have not had, and will not have an affair with Brady or anyone else.  What you saw was two old friends getting together for dinner, nothing more.  And even that will not happen again."

Jason's brow furrowed.  "Why not?  If you and Brady are just friends, why aren't you going to see him again?"

"Because of situations exactly like this one," Chloe confessed.  "I won't deny that I loved Brady as I never loved Phillip.  I think you and I have enough of a mutual disdain to say that without slipping further in your eyes.  Not that I would care if I did.  But I am committed to my marriage.  Over the past few weeks, I've come to realize that this is my life; and there is no escaping it."

Jason was struck by the deadness in her tone.  She really just didn't care anymore.  She didn't care about anything.  He felt a moment's pity for her, and then berated himself.  Pity?  For Ghoulgirl?  Please!  The one who deserved pity was Phillip.  "Yeah, okay," he said awkwardly.  "Well, the reason I came in here was to see if there's any beer for the game."

Chloe opened the fridge and grabbed a couple for him and Phillip.  "Here you go."  She extended them towards him but didn't let go quite yet.  Her eyes met his boldly.  "Are you going to tell him what you saw?"

Jason shrugged.  "It's none of my business really.  I just don't want to see Phillip get played for a fool."

"Trust me.  He won't," replied Chloe firmly.

Jason nodded and exited the kitchen, beer in hand.  Chloe leaned weakly against the counter.  That was a close call.  "Oh, Brady," she whispered.  "Why does it have to be this way?"

~~*~~

Brady slipped outside on the balcony as soon as dinner was over.  He needed air and space to think.  Dinner had been hell.  Sami's suspicions had hung over them all; no matter how much they had pretended to forget about it.  The balcony was the one place he could come to be alone.  Usually.  But he hadn't been outside five minutes before Belle joined him.

"Brrr," Belle shivered, in spite of the thick jacket she'd put on before joining her brother.  She looked at Brady in a simple button-down shirt, no coat.  "Aren't you freezing?"

"No," he replied shortly, having a pretty good idea of what she had come to talk about.  "If you are, you should go inside."

Belle rolled her eyes.  "Don't get snippy with me, Brady.  I don't appreciate it.  And I, for one, am not the least bit afraid of you."

Brady smiled despite himself.  People underestimated Tinkerbelle.  She was a very brave girl.  "Good for you.  Now, what do you want?"

"I want to know what's going on with you, Brady," she said softly but firmly.  "The truth.  All of it."

Brady raised his eyebrows.  "Who says there's anything to know?"

"Don't do that, Brady," she ordered, annoyed.  Why did conversations with her brother always have to be such a game of cat and mouse?  "The rest of them might be willing to ignore the elephant in the room, but I'm not.  What did Sami mean?  What's going on with you and Chloe?"

"Nothing, Tink," he replied automatically.  "Sami's just trying to cause trouble."

Belle let out an exasperated groan.  Why couldn't Brady just open up to her?  Why couldn't he be honest with her?  But the only person Belle had ever known her brother to be completely honest with was Chloe.  "Have you seen Chloe lately?" she asked, hoping to get in the back door.

"Have you?" he asked pointedly, turning the tables on her.

"What's that supposed to mean?" snapped Belle, irritated at the games he was playing.  "You know I only got in town this morning."

"And before you left, when was the last time you spoke to her?" Brady pressed on relentlessly.  "Do you ever write to her?  Or phone her?  Or visit her when you're on vacation?"

Belle squirmed uncomfortably.  She hadn't spoken to Chloe since Chloe had broken up with Brady, something Brady knew perfectly well.  "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Chloe could really use a friend, Belle," he said in gentle reprimand.

Belle felt a pang of guilt and concern.  "Why?  What's the matter?  Is she all right?" she asked, panicked; and then mentally cursed herself for still caring after what Chloe had put Brady through.  

"She's not very happy, Tink.  She's miserable, to be honest.  And she won't let me help her.  I thought maybe you might want to give it a try."  Even as he spoke, Brady couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.  Would he never learn?  Just a week after swearing he'd never interfere in her life again, he was involving himself once more, albeit indirectly.  What was it going to take for him to get her out of his system?

Belle smiled fondly as she studied her big brother's profile.  So that was it.  Brady was trying to help Chloe through some rough time she was having.  That was her Brady, always needing to protect those around him.  That made much more sense than those horrible things Sami had said.  Brady wouldn't become involved with a married woman.  He just wouldn't.

Or would he?  This was Chloe they were talking about.  The same Chloe had had waited almost two years for.  The Chloe had had admitted was his soulmate.  The Chloe who had smashed his heart irreparably.  The Chloe Belle knew he still loved.  "Brady…" she began hesitantly.

"Yeah?" he asked distantly, lost in his own thoughts.

Belle bit her lip.  "Nothing."  She wasn't sure she wanted to know.


	11. Chapter Eleven

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Eleven**

It had been such a simple plan.  Meghan had mentioned in passing that her family always put up their Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving.  And Chloe had thought, why not?  It had been fun going with Meghan to pick out the perfect tree.  It had been fun singing Christmas carols and drinking hot chocolate on the ride home.  What wasn't fun, as Chloe was quickly discovering, was trying to put up a ten foot tree all by herself.

"Would you mind giving me a hand, Phillip?" she asked, as the tree once again started to tip.

Phillip didn't even glance away from his football game.  "You're the one who insisted on getting a Christmas tree today.  I told you it was too early."

"So that means you can't get up off your lazy butt and help her?" said a small voice with surprising fury.

Phillip glanced over at Meghan, hatred radiating from his eyes.  Before he could say anything truly cruel, Chloe burst out, "Meghan, why don't you play us some Christmas carols?"

Meghan looked at Chloe's pleading face and nodded.  With one more disgusted glance at Phillip, Meghan strode into the next room and began playing the piano.  Loudly.

"I won't be spoken to like that in my own home," Phillip immediately growled.

"What?  The truth bothers you, Phillip?" Chloe returned not daring to look at him.  She focused all her energy and attention on the lopsided tree.

Phillip's hands clenched.  He had never wanted to smack her so hard as much as he did right now.  Only the presence of Meghan in the next room prevented him from giving her the beating she so richly deserved.  "I've had enough of this, Chloe," he said, in a dangerously quiet tone.  "I'm your husband.  You should respect me."

Chloe didn't answer.  Anything she said would just get her in more trouble.  But honestly!  Respect Phillip?  The only thing more impossible than loving him was respecting him.  He should know she had lost all respect for him the same night she had been forced to stay with him forever.  Meghan started playing "Adeste Fideles," and Chloe began singing the old Latin hymn, still trying uselessly to straighten the tree.

"Can't you just sing it in English like everybody else?" Phillip complained.  What had gotten into her lately?  She had given up all that opera nonsense years ago.  "And make her stop that racket.  I'm trying to watch the game."

Chloe abruptly stopped singing but refused to tell Meghan to stop.  "Excuse me for trying to put a little Christmas spirit in this house," she retorted.

Phillip was about to spit out his own reply when the doorbell rang.  "Get that, would you?" he ordered.

Chloe shot him a disbelieving glance.  "You've got to be kidding me!  I'm trying to hold up a tree that's bigger than I am.  You are lying on your lazy ass where you've been for the past two days.  You get it."

"Never mind.  I'll get it," said Meghan, as she breezed past them.  She shot them both disapproving looks.  Apparently, she wasn't the only child in this house.  Hurrying to the front door, Meghan opened it to be confronted by a petite blonde woman and a dark-haired man.  "Hello.  May I help you?"

The blonde woman smiled, and her blue eyes sparkled.  Meghan had seen eyes like that before, but where?  "Are you the maid?" the woman teased.

"I'm Meghan, a friend of Chloe's.  Who are you?" she asked, more suspiciously than she would have if Phillip didn't already have her on edge.

"I'm Belle; and this is my husband, Shawn," Belle introduced them both.  "We're old friends of Chloe and Phillip.  Are they at home?"

"Sure.  Come with me."  Meghan led them back to the living room, still darting searching looks at Belle.  She reminded her of someone, but she couldn't quite figure out whom.  "Chloe, Mr. Kiriakis, you've got guests."

Chloe turned around and was so stunned she let go of the tree.  It was lucky for her that Shawn had immediately noticed her trouble and stepped forward to right it.  He fiddled a little with the knobs on the tree stand and got it upright in no time.  

"There you go, Chloe," he remarked, grinning as he straightened up.  Chloe was still staring at them both in complete and utter amazement.  Phillip was glowering at them.  A lot of nerve they had showing up after all this time.  For his own part, he was convinced Shawn and Belle had picked what side they were on when they refused to go to his and Chloe's wedding.  Traitors.

"Hey, Chloe," said Belle, shifting awkwardly.  She shouldn't have come.  Phillip was glaring at her, and Chloe still hadn't said anything.  This was a bad idea.  Why had she let Brady talk her into it?  
  


~~*~~

"Out with it, Dad.  Why did you want to meet me?" Brady asked over lunch at Brady's Pub.

John raised his eyebrows as he considered his son.  Brady, besides being intelligent above the average, was incredibly intuitive.  He would know, of course, that this was no casual invitation.  "I want to talk about Sami and her accusations yesterday," he admitted.

A stubborn look immediately descended over Brady's face.  He narrowed his eyes and set his jaw; and John knew he would have to proceed with caution.  His son was too damn much like him; and he didn't take kindly to people interfering in his life, however good their intentions might be.

"What about it?" Brady asked finally, a distinct warning in his tone.  He was getting sick and tired of these kinds of conversations.  It was his business and no one else's.

"Look, son.  Sami's my daughter.  I've raised her and loved her as one of my own," John said, making it clear he wouldn't take sides in this war between his children.  "That said, you've got to know that she won't keep this quiet for very long."

Anger transformed into hurt on Brady's face.  "You believe her, don't you, Dad?"

John raised a speculative eyebrow as he watched his son.  "Shouldn't I?  Do you deny that you've been having an affair with Mrs. Kiriakis?"

"Call her Chloe, Dad," Brady corrected irritably.  Even hearing her addressed by that name rankled.  "And no, I'm not having an affair with her."

John rubbed his chin.  He had heard Brady's denial and was glad of it.  But he had also heard the protective, defensive tone in his voice as he insisted she be called Chloe.  "Do you love her, son?" asked John quietly.

Brady exhaled loudly.  His dad had him pinned against a corner, and he knew it.  He couldn't dodge the issue with his dad the way he could with Belle.  "Yes, Dad.  I do," he confessed.

John nodded, understanding.  "And that's why you took over Titan, and why you've been sending Phillip away so much, and why you convinced Greta to put her in charge of the children's choir."  It was a statement, not a question.

Brady nodded miserable.  Not that any of that had accomplished anything.  All he had managed to do was make them both even more miserable than they already were.  "I don't know what to do, Dad," he admitted, turning to the one person who might be able to help him.

John sighed deeply.  He had been in enough tangled affairs of the heart to simply want to protect his son from as much hurt as possible.  "Well, Brady, as much as it hurts to say this, I think there's only one thing you can do.  You've got to step back, and let Chloe figure this out for herself."

"But Dad, you don't understand," Brady immediately responded defensively.  "She loves me, too.  She's told me she does.  Phillip's just got her too scared to do anything about it."

John lowered his eyebrows darkly.  "He's beating her?"  His old instincts about protecting his own coming quickly to the surface.  Brady was his son, and Chloe was the woman his son loved.  If anyone was hurting her, he'd kill them himself.

"I don't know," sighed Brady.  "That's the whole problem.  I don't know anything for a fact.  But, Dad, all you have to do is look at her to know how desperate for love and happiness she is."

John ran his hand over his face.  He was getting too old for these games.  "I honestly don't know what to tell you, son.  It's a difficult situation.  That's a fact.  But I know one thing for certain.  You need to do something fast, before Sami starts spreading that rumor and it gets back to Phillip's ears."

Brady nodded.  He knew that.  He'd been awake all last night thinking about it, and he'd reached a desperate solution.  Chloe's safety had to come first, no matter how much it would tear him apart.  He'd have a talk with Phillip first thing Monday morning.

~~*~~

"I still can't believe you're here," Chloe breathed, still stunned, as Belle drove herself, Chloe, and Meghan through the streets of Salem.  After Chloe's initial shock at seeing her old best friend in her living room, she had surprised everyone, herself included, by running across the room and flinging her arms around Belle.  She had further infuriated her husband by accepting Belle's invitation to lunch.  They had dropped Shawn off at the Bradys' first and were heading for a girls' afternoon out.  "How long are you staying?"

"Just for the weekend," Belle told her.  She was still feeling uncomfortable.  She wanted to apologize to Chloe and have a real heart-to-heart; but with the little girl in the backseat, it was impossible.  "Then Shawn and I are back to Africa."

"You live in Africa?" asked Meghan, leaning forward with wide eyes.

"I sure do," Belle said, smiling.  "It's pretty cool, too.  You can look out of your window some days and see a herd of gazelles grazing in your lawn, or a giraffe walking down the street."

"Wow," breathed Meghan, clearly impressed with Chloe's friend.  "So how do you know Chloe?"

"She didn't grow up in Africa, Meghan," said Chloe, with barely concealed laughter.  "She grew up here in Salem."

"Chloe and I were friends in high school," continued Belle.  "The very best of friends."  She smiled fondly and apologetically at Chloe.  Chloe smiled back, letting her know she didn't carry a grudge.

"So how come you never told me about her, Chloe?" asked the endlessly curious Meghan.

Chloe sighed.  "It's just been a long time since I've seen her.  Five years and some."

Meghan's eyes widened.  "Five years?  That's a long time to go without seeing your best friend."  The look exchanged by the two women didn't go unnoticed by Meghan.

"Oh, look," said Belle brightly, changing the subject as they pulled into the parking lot of Brady's Pub.  "We're here."

"Brady's Pub?" questioned Meghan, reading the sign.  "Is that Brady like our Brady, Chloe?  Or is Brady like your last name, Belle?"

Belle laughed.  "The last name.  It belongs to my husband's grandfather."

"Oh," said Meghan, as they all got out of Marlena's borrowed car.  "Have you ever met our Brady, Belle?"

Belle winked at Chloe over Meghan's head.  "Once or twice."  Chloe smiled weakly in return.  Hearing Meghan call him "our Brady" was doing strange things to her heart and stomach.

As they were entering Brady's Pub, they collided with a tall, dark-haired man on his way out.  "Excuse me," he apologized, then immediately grinned recognizing them.  "Belle, what are you doing here?  Hello, Chloe.  I haven't seen you in a long time."

"Hello, Mr. Black," returned Chloe, smiling wanly; though Meghan noticed she seemed to go very pale.

"Hey, Dad," Belle greeted him, with a quick hug.  "Chloe, our friend Meghan, and I were just coming for lunch.  Don't tell me we just missed you?"

"That's a fact, honey," John replied.  Meghan, who had decided the only way she was going to learn anything was by studying their faces, noticed that Belle looked disappointed, but Chloe looked relieved.  She also noticed the searching, sympathetic glances Belle's father was shooting at Chloe when she wasn't looking.

"Oh," Belle groaned.  "Well, my timing just sucks; but I'll see you when I get home."

"Sure, honey."  John kissed his daughter's forehead and waved at Chloe and Meghan, before walking away.

They walked into the homey little restaurant; and Meghan, having never been there before, looked around eagerly.  That might explain why she saw him first.  "Brady!" she exclaimed, running over to the man drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

Brady looked up and smiled.  "Hey, Meghan.  What's up?  Where are Steve and Maria?" He looked around and his eyes collided with those of the one person who had the ability to send his heart rate through the roof.

"They're in Florida," Meghan explained.  "I'm spending the weekend with Chloe.  She and her friend Belle brought me out to lunch."

Chloe and Belle approached the booth, and Belle plopped unceremoniously down next to her brother.  "Hey, Brady.  I didn't expect to see you here."

Brady studied her, as if trying to gauge the truth of that statement.  Seemingly satisfied, he pulled her to him in a one-armed hug.  "Hey, Tink."

Meghan, sliding in the other side next to Chloe, creased her brow at this.  She took in Belle, sitting next to Brady, and realized who it was Belle reminded her of.  "Are you two related or something?"

Belle laughed outright, and Brady and Chloe smiled.  "Of course.  Tinkerbelle her is my little sister."  Brady ruffled her hair affectionately, and Belle glared at him.  Playing with the hair was still off-limits.

"Tinkerbelle?" repeated Meghan, crinkling her nose.  "That's your name?"

"No, of course not," Belle laughed.  "That's just an obnoxious nickname my brother pinned on me a long time ago.  My real name is Isabella."  Meghan nodded, satisfied.  

A moment later, Caroline Brady approached them to take their orders.  She did a double-take when she saw Chloe.  "Chloe Lane!  My, it's been a long time.  What, five years?"

Meghan frowned.  That was the second time someone had mentioned that today.  What had happened five years ago?  Chloe flushed and avoided Brady's knowing stare.  "Yeah, Mrs. Brady," she said in a rather squeaky voice.  "Something like that."

"Do you still want your usual?" she asked, with a fond glance at Brady.

Chloe had to look at him now.  She met his gaze; and he smiled, recalling their oft-repeated tradition.  Despite herself, she smiled too.  It was a wonder she hadn't ballooned like an elephant from all that fat and sugar.  "Yes," she decided firmly.  "For old times' sake."

"I'll have some too," Brady announced.

"But Brady, you just ate."  Caroline clucked her tongue disapprovingly but jotted down the order anyway.  Meghan had the distinct impression that she was trying not to smile.  She took Meghan and Belle's orders; and after a few minutes conversation with Belle, she walked away.

Meghan stared at Brady and Chloe in confusion.  They were still staring into each other's eyes, and Meghan had the distinct impression that they didn't even remember she or anyone else was there.  Meghan glanced at Belle to see what she thought of this.  But Belle was watching them both intently, a worried frown flitting across her face.

Chloe, for her part, didn't realize she was being watched and couldn't have cared less if she had.  Why was Brady looking at her that way?  There was such mingled love and sorrow in his eyes; she almost broke down crying then and there.  He was trying to tell her something.  _What?  What is it, Brady? she asked him silently._

Brady, meanwhile, was tracing every line and curve of her beloved face with his eyes and committing it to memory.  _I love you.  Forever.  Goodbye.  This would quite possibly be the last time he ever saw her.  He couldn't drag his eyes away from her.  He had to remember this moment, had to feast on the look of love and concern in her eyes for the rest of his life._

"What's going on here?"  Meghan's voice suddenly snapped them back to reality.  She was tired of being in the dark.  There was something going on that everyone else knew about that they just weren't telling her.  

"What, Meghan?" asked Chloe, tearing her eyes away from Brady to look at her little friend.  

"Why were you and Brady looking at each other like that?  What happened five years ago?  What's your 'usual'?"  Meghan shot off her rapid-fire questions without a second thought.  She didn't like being the only one without a clue what was happening.  It made her feel off-balance.

Chloe just stared at her dumb-founded.  Were all ten-year olds this observant?  Brady grimaced.  He knew it wouldn't be long before Meghan figured it out.  That girl was too smart for her own good.  He looked up, and his face relaxed.  "Well, here comes the usual," he replied, gesturing to the tray Caroline was bring out.

Meghan turned and saw two plates of pancakes with all the trimming.  Caroline set them down in front of Brady and Chloe and deposited Belle and Meghan's food as well.  "Enjoy," she said and disappeared.

"That's it?" said Meghan, a little disappointed.  She had been hoping this would clear up the mystery.  Instead, it just seemed a little silly.

"That's it?" repeated Brady, in a tone of great offense.  "This happens to be the greatest, most delicious, intoxicating food in the world.  Well, except for BLTs."  He winked slyly at Chloe.

Chloe smiled but didn't reply.  Her mouth was full.  She had forgotten how much she loved these.  There had just been no point in coming here without Brady.  Brady grinned at the heavenly dazed look on her face.  He spooned more whipped cream on her pancakes and received a grateful look in return.  He knew her so well, even the little details.  Meghan watched them in ever-growing confusion.

Belle smiled sympathetically.  "Don't worry about it, Meghan.  I don't understand them either, and I've known them a lot longer than you have.  They're both lunatics.  Completely insane."

Brady shot Chloe a questioning glance.  She nodded.  With one motion, they both loaded their spoons with whipped cream and flicked them at Belle, hitting her straight in the face.  She shrieked.  The rest of them laughed.

Belle cleared her throat haughtily and wiped the cream off her face with her napkin.  "You know, Meghan," she said sniffily.  "It's nice to know that there's at least one other mature person at this table."  She graced Brady and Chloe with withering stares.

Brady winked at Meghan.  Meghan grinned.  "Thanks, Belle," she said, reaching for the syrup bottle and squirting it at Belle without warning.

"This means war," squealed Belle.  And the four of them had an intense, but controlled, food fight.  After all, they didn't want food splattered all over Brady's Pub.  Caroline wouldn't like that.  Finally, Belle insisted on a truce.  Her hair was sticky with syrup.  "Come on, Meghan.  Let's wash up."  She let the little girl, who was undoubtedly the loser in the game as her face was completely covered in sticky substances, to the ladies room.

Still grinning, Chloe and Brady cleaned their own faces.  "You missed a spot," Brady announced.  He reached over and rubbed the spot off her cheek.  

Chloe cursed herself for the electric thrill that went through her.  "Thanks," she whispered.  Her longing-filled eyes rushed to his.

Brady couldn't help it.  He had to try one last time.  "Chloe, Sami's spreading rumors about us," he told her quietly.

"What?" Chloe exclaimed.  Then, in a quieter voice, "What do you mean?  What kind of rumors?"

"What kind do you think?" he returned, rolling his eyes.  "Look, Chloe, I don't want to think about what Phillip will do if her hears them.  Let me protect you.  Leave him."

She looked down at the table and shook her head.  "I can't, Brady.  I've already told you that."

"You don't even have to come to me," he continued desperately.  "Go anywhere.  Stay with your parents.  Leave Salem.  Leave the country.  Just get out of that damned house and away from that son of a bitch."

She looked up again, tears swimming in her eyes; but she spoke firmly.  "I can't, Brady.  I won't.  Don't ask me again."

Brady sighed.  He knew she would react that way, but it still broke his heart.  She was forcing him into doing something everything inside him rebelled against.  "Then, there's only one thing left to do, Chloe.  I can't let Phillip find out about those rumors, so I have to—"

"Hey, Brady, Chloe.  Can you see my face again?" Meghan chirped as she and Belle returned.  "This is definitely the most fun I've ever had at lunch.  But I don't think I ate much."

Brady and Belle laughed.  Chloe just stared at Brady.  What was he going to do?


	12. Chapter Twelve

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twelve**

Meghan's observant eyes took in the fact that Greta didn't seem all that pleased to see Chloe.  Nevertheless, she seemed willing enough to take Meghan for the afternoon.  If it had been anyone but Chloe, Meghan would have been sure that they were trying to ditch her.  But Meghan knew Chloe just wanted a chance to catch up with Belle.  Besides, Meghan had her own reasons for wanting to see Greta.

"So, Meghan," said Greta, as soon as Belle and Chloe had left.  "Are you up for a game of Trivial Pursuit?"

"Um, no thanks," said Meghan, sitting down on the couch with the air of someone who didn't plan on moving for a long time.

"Okay," said Greta slowly, sitting down beside her.  "How about Monopoly?  Chess?  Checkers?  Scrabble?  Quidditch?"

Meghan giggled.  "No thanks, Greta.  Actually, I just want to talk to you."

"Well, that's easy enough," Greta replied, with a smile.  "Would you like some soda first?"

"Sure, thanks," Meghan answered.  She watched while Greta busied herself in the kitchen.  How was she supposed to start?  How could she get Greta to answer her questions and not just push them aside?  Greta came and handed Meghan a Pepsi before sitting down again.

"So what's up?" asked Greta, the perturbed look on Meghan's face cluing her in that this was no casual conversation she had in mind.  
  


"I've just been noticing a few things," Meghan stated slowly.  "If I ask you some things, will you answer them truthfully and not with some 'You're just a kid, so what do you know' answers?"

"This is serious," said Greta, wrinkling her nose.  "I always try to be truthful with everyone, Meghan, no matter their age.  So I'll give you answers that are as honest as I can be, depending on the question."

It would have to do, Meghan decided.  "What happened to Chloe five years ago?" she demanded.

Greta frowned at her.  "What?  I don't understand."

"Today, two different people said they hadn't seen Chloe in five years," Meghan explained.  "So what happened?"

"Oh, that," said Greta, with a laugh.  "Nothing happened.  Chloe just got married."

Meghan frowned.  "So what?  Why would her friends not see her anymore just because she got married?  Is it because Phillip's such a jerk?"

Greta suppressed the urge to laugh at the childish honesty.  She'd been dying to hear a non-biased person's opinion of Phillip.  She supposed Meghan's would do.  "I honestly don't know, Meghan.  I don't know Phillip.  And I didn't know Chloe at that time.  I'm not sure I know her all that well now."

Meghan studied her face.  "You're mad at Chloe about something, aren't you?"

Greta pursed her lips.  How had this girl learned to read people so well at her age?  Greta still wasn't sure how well she truly knew people, and she'd spent a lifetime trying to learn.  But she had promised to be honest.  "Yes, Meghan, I am.  But it's nothing that will last.  I was interfering in something that was none of my business; and someone I care about got hurt, so I'm blaming Chloe a bit."

If she had thought her half-answers would fool Meghan, she was in for a shock.  "It was Brady, wasn't it?" Meghan asked for confirmation.  "That Chloe hurt, I mean."

"How did you know that?" asked Greta, shocked.

"I was with Chloe a while back at the center when Brady came by.  The seemed really upset with each other, so I left."  Meghan still regretted that decision.  Maybe if she had hung around the door and eavesdropped a bit, she wouldn't have had to ask Greta these questions.

Greta sighed.  There was no way they were going to keep this secret much longer, not if a little girl could figure it out all by herself.  "Listen, Meghan.  There are some things about relationships between adults that children aren't supposed to understand."

Meghan rolled her eyes.  "Well, then, too bad for me, because I get it.  Brady's in love with Chloe, isn't he?"

~~*~~

"Chloe, I just want to say I'm sorry.  I turned my back on our friendship because of some silly grudge, and I shouldn't have."

Chloe smiled sadly as she listened to Belle's apology.  To avoid replying right away, she took a drink of her cappuccino.  The Java Café was no place to break down into hysterical sobs.  How could this be happening?  The last conversation she had had with Belle had been a nightmare of Belle's accusations and being unable to deny any of them.  And now, Belle was apologizing five years later.  But why?  The truth behind what Belle had said still rang true.  Why would she apologize now after all this time?  
  


"It doesn't matter, Belle," Chloe said finally.  "You have every right to hate me after what I did."

Belle looked at her old friend and knew Brady had been right.  If anyone needed a friend, it was Chloe.  "I didn't understand why you did it, Chloe.  That's why I reacted so badly."  She paused, thinking over everything that had happened.  "I still don't understand it.  But I guess I realized it just doesn't matter so much anymore."

"It…it doesn't?" asked Chloe, feeling something akin to disappointment.

Belle shook her head, but her eyes kept up a steady perusal of Chloe's expressions.  "No, I mean it was so long ago.  And Brady's done so well for himself.  And you're happily married.  I think it's time we all let go of the past.  Don't you?"

Let go of the past?  Was Belle crazy?  The past, her memories of Brady, was the only thing that kept her going.  "Yeah, I guess," Chloe agreed hesitantly.  Then, in a brighter tone, "At any rate, I'm so glad to see you again."

Belle smiled.  "Me too, Chloe.  So what have you been doing the past five years?"

"Well, these last few months I've been helping out with the Children's Center.  I've organized a choir with some of the kids.  Our first concert is around Christmastime," Chloe bubbled on excitedly.  "That's how I met Meghan.  She's become like a little sister to me."

Belle listened with a sinking heart.  "What about before that?" she asked softly.

"What do you mean?" asked Chloe, with a purposely blank face.

"You said 'the last few months.'  What about before that?  What did you do then?"

Chloe fidgeted uncomfortably.  Sometimes Belle was altogether too much like her big brother.  They could never be satisfied with the surface appearance of things.  Chloe shrugged.  "I don't know, Belle.  Salem's not as exciting as Africa.  Why don't you tell me about that?"

Belle obeyed, hoping to get Chloe to relax a little.  She spent the next half hour detailing her and Shawn's relief efforts in war-torn and famine-plagued countries.  "Brady's been a huge help," Belle concluded in an effort to steer the conversation back along the lines she wanted it to take.  "You wouldn't believe how much money and supplies he's donated."

Chloe felt a surprising wave of fury overtake her.  What right did he have to be so damn perfect all the time?  "Yes, Brady is being nominated for sainthood as we speak," Chloe snapped.  "All over the world, people are crying out for Brady Black to save them."

Belle shied away from Chloe's vehemence.  What had gotten into her?  "Chloe," she began softly.  "Would you like to tell me what's really bothering you?"

Chloe inhaled sharply.  "I'm sorry, Belle.  I shouldn't have lost it like that.  It's just I find myself wondering if Brady ever does anything wrong."

To Chloe's surprise, Belle giggled.  "Brady?  Perfect?  Oh, that's rich.  This is my brother we're talking about, right?  He has a horrid temper; a vindictive streak; and a horrid habit of binge drinking, which, Greta informs me, he practiced constantly last week."

Chloe winced and looked down at her hands.  She was to blame for that, she knew.  Great.  His only flaw; and it was her fault, too.  Because she couldn't give credence to Belle's other accusations.  Belle hadn't seen Phillip's temper lately.  

Belle studied the guilty look on Chloe's face.  "And then, there's still his biggest imperfection," she added softly.

"What's that?" asked Chloe, looking up.

Belle gave her an understanding, sympathetic glance.  "He's hopelessly in love with you.  That's probably his greatest weakness and the source of his strength.  He wrote me a letter once when he was just starting to help Greta with the Children's Center.  I think it states clearer than anything why he does the things he does.  I've saved it for a long time.  I don't know why.  Maybe I knew this moment would come.  I brought it with me in case you want to read it."  Belle rummaged in her purse and pulled out a white envelope, slightly creased with age.

Chloe glanced at it, but didn't take it.  "I can't read that, Belle.  It wasn't meant for me."

"I think in a way it was," remarked Belle thoughtfully.  "And I really think you need to read it to understand how deep Brady's love for you goes."

"I already know that," Chloe cried in dismay.  "That's not the problem, Belle.  The problem is getting him to stop loving me.  I've done everything I know to push him away.  Won't you please make him understand that I'm no good for him?"

Belle shook her head.  "Nothing I could say could ever stop him from loving you, Chloe.  And no matter how hard you try, nothing you do will kill his love either.  That's the thing about unconditional love, Chloe.  You can push it away, but it will just keep coming back to you."  Belle set the letter on the table in front of Chloe.  "You don't have to read it now.  But keep it, and read it when you're ready."

Chloe nodded absently and picked up the letter, Belle's words still ringing in her mind.  "I…um…He…Brady and I…"

"I don't need to know the details, Chloe," Belle stated quickly.  "I don't want to hear them.  I'm afraid I'd react like a self-righteous jerk, instead of as a loving friend and sister.  I just wanted to give you that letter.  It speaks for itself."

~~*~~

Meghan had seemed preoccupied since Chloe had picked her up from Greta's that afternoon.  All Chloe's attempts to get her to open up had failed.  There had been a scene with Phillip when they got back of course.  He had been furious that she left with Belle.  He'd been even more incensed that she had been gone for hours without letting him know where she was.  But Chloe had managed to weather his wrath, due in large part to the restraining influence of having Meghan in the room.

After they had lived through Phillip's fury, Chloe and Meghan decorated the Christmas tree, made Christmas cookies, and had hot cocoa.  But still, that cloud seemed to hang over Meghan.  In uncharacteristic fashion, she refused to say one word about what was on her mind.

Finally, as Chloe finished reading to Meghan and prepared to turn out the light, Meghan asked her burning question.  "Do you love him, too?"

Chloe was taken off-guard.  "Who?  Phillip?" she asked, sitting back down on Meghan's bed.

Meghan shook her head fervently.  "No.  Brady."

Chloe turned deathly pale.  She whirled around, afraid she'd see Phillip right behind her.  But no one was there, and the solid oak door was firmly shut.  "What are you talking about, Meghan?" she asked with forced calm; but she couldn't help feeling that the effort was futile.  Meghan wasn't easily deceived.  

"Don't be mad at me, Chloe," Meghan began earnestly.  She could handle anything better than Chloe being angry with her.  "But I started getting curious about some of the stuff that happened today, so I asked Greta about it.  Don't be mad at her either, Chloe.  I guessed a lot of it, and I made her tell me the rest.  I know all about how you and Brady dated, and how you broke up with him.  But he still loves you.  I could see that when he was looking at you in the restaurant.  But there's one thing I'm not sure about, and Greta didn't know.  We can't figure out if you love him, too.  Do you, Chloe?  Do you love Brady?"

Several emotions assaulted Chloe at once.  Anger at Greta for sharing her personal business with Meghan.  Disgust with herself for being so transparent.  Helplessness in the face of Meghan's question.  And of course, love for Brady and sorrow for the mess she'd made of both their lives.  "I…I…" she began, but couldn't finish.

She stroked back Meghan's shimmering golden hair and smiled wistfully at her.  "Meghan, I'm not going to answer that question; and here's the reason why:  You're still a kid.  I know you're very mature for your age, and you've already had to go through a lot that most kids never do.  But that's all the more reason your innocence should be protected as long as possible.  I never realized when I invited you to spend the weekend with me that you would become so involved in my problems.  And I'm grateful that you want to help; but the way you can help best is just by being the wonderful, beautiful girl that you are.  Okay?"

Meghan nodded.  But she didn't agree, not really.  Chloe was in pain.  She was hurting.  And Meghan felt a responsibility to help her.  After all, Chloe was the one who was helping her deal with her parents' deaths.  Couldn't she at least return the favor?  "Why do you stay with Phillip?" she asked.  She might be only ten years old, but she knew an evil man when she saw him.

Chloe sighed.  Meghan obviously hadn't heeded a word she'd said.  "Good night, Meghan," she returned with exasperated affection.  "Sweet dreams."  She flicked off the light.

"Good night, Chloe," Meghan huffed irritably.  Why wouldn't Chloe let her help her?

Chloe slipped outside of Meghan's room.  She could hear the television blaring from downstairs.  Phillip had probably fallen asleep in front of it.  Typical.  Assured that her husband wasn't in their room, Chloe entered it and headed straight for the window seat.  Like all true introverts, Chloe loved window seats.

She snuggled up in it and pulled the crumpled letter out of her pocket.  She read the address on the outside of the envelope.  Recognizing Brady's firm handwriting, Chloe let her fingers drift gently over the few words.  Strange, how such a little thing could make her feel once again so connected to him.  Flipping the envelope over, Chloe had half-pulled out the folded letter, before changing her mind.  She couldn't read it.  Not now.  Maybe never.

"Why do you stay with Phillip?" Meghan had asked.  It was a question that she was being asked on an increasingly regular basis it seemed.  But they didn't know why, and she would never tell them.  She couldn't.  As if sensing that she herself needed a reminder of why she stayed with him, she forced herself to remember that night.  That one terrible night…

~~*~~

_Chloe bit her lip nervously.  "Actually, I was hoping I could stay here for a while, while I get a divorce."  She let her announcement fall heavily on her parents._

_Nancy couldn't help it.  She grinned.  "Oh, sweetheart, really?"_

_Chloe nodded firmly.  "I never should have married him in the first place.  We just made each other miserable.  He needs someone who can support him through this time, and that's not me.  It's better to end it now, before it's too late."  She shuddered, picturing how dreadful five years of marriage to Phillip would be, let alone fifty._

_"You've made a very wise decision, Chloe," Craig said solemnly, not sure that Nancy's whole-hearted glee was quite appropriate for the occasion._

_Chloe's cell phone chirped loudly.  She pulled it out of her purse but didn't answer it immediately.  What if it was Phillip?_

_"Don't answer it.  It could be Phillip," instructed her mother, as if reading her thoughts._

_"I've got to speak to him sometime," said Chloe, resigned.  She answered the call.  "Hello?"_

_"Hello, Mrs. Kiriakis.  It's Henderson."  The butler sounded panicked and frightened.  "Are you sitting down?"_

_"Yeah," said Chloe slowly, knitting her brows together.  What was going on?  Had something happened to Kate?_

_"Mrs. Kiriakis, I don't know quite how to say this.  But your husband's thrown himself into the fire."  _

_"He's done what?" Chloe exclaimed.  Even as she did, her words to him earlier that night repeated themselves inside her head.  "I wish you had burned instead!"_

_"He's burned himself," Henderson rephrased it.  "I've called for the family physician.  This family has endured enough bad publicity as it is.  I don't want this getting out."_

_"Okay," Chloe said absently.  She didn't care one-tenth of the amount of Henderson for the Kiriakis reputation.  She just kept thinking, It's all my fault.  It's all my fault._

_"He's asking for you, Mrs. Kiriakis.  He wants you here." _

_"I'll be right there," Chloe agreed without a second thought.  "Bye."__  She flicked the phone off and turned to her parents, her expression panicked.  "I've got to go.  I'm sorry.  Don't expect me back tonight."  She had already grabbed her purse and jacket and headed for the door._

_"Chloe, wait," Craig demanded.  "What's going on?"_

_Chloe only shook her head.  "Night, Craig.  Night, Mom."  She rushed out the door, convinced that her husband was dying, and it was all her fault…._

~~*~~

Sitting in the security of the window seat, with the distance of five years between her and the events of that night, Chloe could still recall the terror of the drive back to the mansion.  She didn't know how she had avoided a wreck.  Tears had blinded her eyes, and she had driven like a maniac.  She had just known that he would be dead before she got there.  And it was all her fault.

It wasn't until she had arrived at the mansion and spoken with the doctor that she felt she truly breathed again.  Henderson had exaggerated a little.  Phillip hadn't thrown himself into the fire.  Just his arms were burned.  They had been able to pull him away before he could go through with it.  Still, the worst had been yet to come.  She had had to face him….

~~*~~

_Entering the bedroom, the first things Chloe noticed were the lump of bandages on either side of Phillip's still, blanket-shrouded form.  Coming closer, they were distinguishable as his arms, heavily bandaged.  He was sleeping, probably due to the heavy pain medication they had given him.  His boyish face looked blissfully untroubled._

_Chloe sat down in the seat beside Phillip's bed and wept.  It was her fault.  He might have killed himself, and it was all her fault.  How would she ever get over that?  How could she move on with her life, knowing that she had done this to a man whose only crime was to love her unrequitedly?_

_Phillip stirred restlessly in his sleep.  "Chloe, Chloe," he moaned, clearly in a distressed state._

_"Shh, Phillip, I'm here," she soothed, stroking his hair back.  "I'm here.  Everything's all right."_

_Phillip opened his eyes and stared at her, his face breaking into a dreamy smile.  Despite the medication, his eyes appeared unclouded and lucid.  "Chloe, you're here," he remarked sleepily.  "You came."_

_"Of course I came, Phillip," she comforted him.  "I'm here.  I won't leave until you're completely healed."_

_A frown darted across his face, and a panicked look came into his eyes.  "You can't leave me then, either," he demanded.  "I'll kill myself if you leave again.  I swear I will."_

_Chloe's eyes widened in horror.  She felt her heart pounding heavily in her chest.  He meant it.  She knew he did.  "Then I won't ever leave you," she promised.  How could she?  His death would haunt her for the rest of her life.  But she felt the weight of that statement close around her cold heart.  It was at that moment that Chloe Lane started to die inside of her._

_"And you'll love me?" he begged.  "You must love me, Chloe."_

_She shuddered at the cold, demanding tone of his voice.  "Yes, Phillip.  I'll love you," she swore.  Anything.  She'd do anything.  Just not another night like this one.  She couldn't bear it.  She felt like she couldn't bear any more at all.  Yes, that was it.  She just wouldn't think about it.  She'd just go through the motions and give her weary heart a rest…._

~~*~~

She had tried to love him.  For five, long, horrible years she had tried to love him.  She had said the words a million times.  "I love you, Phillip."  But she had failed at every turn.  And deep down, she knew why.  She had let her heart shut down.  She refused to feel anything at all.  There had been a blessed release in the numbness.  It kept her from hurting so much.  It had kept away this wretched, tearing pain she was feeling now.  

Now that she was awakened again, she knew to an even greater certainty that she could never love him.  She struggled not to hate him.  That night, when she made that vow, she had been overcome with fear, with guilt, with worry.  But now, she could see clearly how he had manipulated her into that promise.  She couldn't love him, and so she had failed in that promise.  But the second one was inescapable.

She couldn't love him.  But she had to stay with him.  The fear still haunted her on a daily basis, the fear that she would do something wrong and he would snap and kill himself or her or both of them.  She couldn't let that happen.  She couldn't live with the guilt.  So she had made him the center of her half-life for so long that everyone else had been driven out of it.

Not that they had made much of a fuss about going.  Belle and Shawn had called it quits with her after she dumped Brady for Phillip.  Not that they didn't have the right to.  And her parents…She winced, recalling that dreadful next day.  Phillip had been sleeping, so she had called Nancy to tell her she would be staying with Phillip.  She wasn't allowed to say why.  Phillip, Henderson, and the doctor had all made it clear to her that it was imperative for Philip's well-being and the security of Titan's interests that no word of what had happened was ever to go beyond the four of them.

Nancy, unsurprisingly, had thrown a fit when Chloe announced she was staying.  They were really getting into it when a crash and a scream had made Chloe drop the phone and go see what the matter was.  It turned out to be nothing.  Phillip hadn't wanted what the maid had brought him for dinner and had thrown a fit.  But Henderson had come in a moment later and told her that her mother had called again.  "_She says to say that since you won't listen to her advice, she has no daughter."_

Chloe could still feel the pain of those words in her chest like a knife's point.  What kind of mother turned her back on her child?  But Nancy had, not once, but twice.  Exactly when Chloe needed her most.  And so, Chloe had been alone.  More than that, she had barely been with herself.  Her soul was shriveling up and dying on a day to day basis.  She had actually been considering suicide herself when Brady, Meghan, and Great had all come into her life.  And Chloe Lane had returned in a burst of fire.

But now she wondered if it was worth it.  Maybe it would have been better to have remained dead inside.  At least that way, she had managed to get through each day without bursting into tears all the time.  At least then, Phillip had been somewhat bearable.  He had his own way in everything and was content.  Now, all they did was fight all the time.  And underneath it all, her newly awakened heart yearned for Brady.  But it couldn't be.  She had to stay with Phillip, and she had coped so much better when she was dead inside.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Thirteen**

Brady Black looked terrible.  That was the first thought that went through Mrs. Colman's mind when he walked into Basic Black on the Monday morning after Thanksgiving weekend.  It wasn't that he looked untidy or rumpled.  His blue suit was spotlessly pressed.  It was the little things that Mrs. Colman noticed.  After all, she had raised three boys of her own.  Brady's shoulders were slumped as though he carried the weight of the world on them.  Dark circles under his eyes testified to a sleepless night.  And the bleak expression in his eyes, along with the grim set of his mouth, cemented her opinion that her employer was at war within himself.

"Good morning, Mr. Black," she greeted him, as brightly as she could.  "Your coffee is on your desk, along with today's Wall Street Journal.  Your father's already called to congratulate you on your latest investment.  The stock is going through the roof."

Brady just nodded.  He didn't care anymore.  Today, he was going to have to do the hardest thing in the world.  He was going to have to let Chloe go.  Forever.  "Mrs. Colman, when Phillip Kiriakis gets in, I want you to send him to my office immediately.  In the meantime, transfer Jeff Turner back here from the L.A. office."

Mrs. Colman frowned.  She didn't understand.  When Phillip Kiriakis had come to work for Basic Black, Brady had left her with the strictest instructions that he was never to see him.  Nicole Walker was to relay all Brady's orders to Phillip.  Why the sudden change of heart?  "You want Mr. Kiriakis to see you?" she repeated.  "Do you mind me asking why?"

Brady's jaw clenched.  He willed himself to relax.  "You'll find out soon enough.  Just do as I said."  He stormed into his office and slammed the door behind him.

Once there, he slumped into his chair, entirely defeated.  Damn Sami!  If it wasn't for her and her big mouth, he wouldn't have to do this.  Chloe could have stayed here.  He could have seen her sometimes, even if only across crowded rooms.  But now?  In order to keep her from being publicly and wrongfully exposed as an adulterous, in order to save her from being humiliated and who knew what else, if Phillip found out, he had to send her away, where he wouldn't even be able to see that she was all right.

Brady had a most unproductive half-hour.  He stared at the same page of his paper for minutes on end before turning it, still not having comprehended a word.  He should be relieved about this.  With Chloe gone, his life would return to normal.  He'd be able to work again.  He'd be able to think again.

But what he was feeling had nothing to do with relief.  Rather there was a dull, heavy feeling in the pit of his stomach.  How could he live without her again?  He had been forced to go on without her for five wretched years, and it had damn near killed him.  Now, she had come back into his life for such a short time.  It might have brought him more pain than pleasure; but it was a beautiful pain.  It was a relief to just be feeling something.  And with her gone, he knew he'd go back to being dead inside.

After what seemed an eternity, his intercom buzzed.  "Mr. Black, Phillip Kiriakis is here.  Shall I send him in?"

"Yes, please, Mrs. Colman."  Brady straightened slightly in his huge, black leather chair.  He knew he had the advantage of intimidation, and he intended to use it.

Phillip came in a moment later, looking exactly as Brady remembered.  Still arrogant as all hell, Phillip didn't have the brains to be nervous in front of a boss who despised him.  He strode into the office; and without so much as a by-your-leave, flopped into one of the chairs in front of Brady's desk.  They glared at each other for a moment, in mutual loathing, before Phillip finally spoke.  "What do you want, Brady?" he challenged.

Brady glared him into silence.  Maybe there was another way.  Maybe he could just kill the bastard here and now.  The idea had a certain appeal.  But no, he couldn't kill him, if only for his grandfather's sake.  He let his silence drag on until finally Phillip shifted uncomfortably.  Phillip didn't look so cocky now.  "I'm transferring you, Phillip," Brady informed him.  "I want you in the Los Angeles office by the end of the week."  It was an order, not a request.

"What?" exclaimed Phillip.  "Don't I even get a say?"

"No, Phillip, you don't," Brady replied harshly.  "That's what being an employee is all about.  But really, I don't see how you have anything to complain about.  It's a promotion, a raise, and just talk to Mrs. Colman, and she'll take care of all your moving expenses."

Phillip knew something big was up.  Brady was trying to get rid of him.  But why?  A smile flickered across his face as he figured it out.  Brady was threatened by him.  He knew that Phillip was only biding his time before he took back Titan and took Basic Black, too.  Of course, he didn't really have a plan yet; but it was only a matter of time.  

But in the meantime, what about this job?  He'd lived in Salem his entire life.  How could he just pick up and leave?  But on the other hand, it's not like he had a lot to stay for.  His father dead, him mother in prison, his company gone.  He thought of Chloe.  Things between the two of them just kept getting worse, and he knew it was all because of that little girl.  Maybe if he took Chloe away somewhere, away from that girl, away from her memories, things would go back to the way they had been.  Not to mention the sun would be good for his tan.

"All right, Brady," Phillip agreed, with forced coldness.  After all, he wasn't about to let Brady know that he actually thought it was a good idea.  "Chloe and I will be ready to move in a few days."  He couldn't resist that little, extra dart.  Brady might have gotten the company, for now; but Phillip had the girl, forever.  He had made damn sure of that.

~~*~~

"Meghan, would you mind staying for a minute?" Chloe called, as the kids started to leave from choir practice.

Meghan nodded, but she felt a certain nervousness.  What did Chloe want?  Was she angry about the things Meghan had said on Friday?  They hadn't discussed it again, and Meghan had thought Chloe just wanted to let it drop.  But maybe not.  Maybe she wouldn't want to have Meghan hang around her anymore.  "What's up, Chloe?" she asked quietly, as the last of the kids filed out.  She had a cold feeling in the pit of her stomach.  She didn't know what she'd do without Chloe.  No one else cared about her.

Chloe picked up on Meghan's worry and smiled reassuringly at her.  "Don't look at me like that.  It's not like you're in trouble.  I just have a surprise for you, and I didn't want the other kids to know I play favorites."

"A surprise?  Really?" squealed Meghan.  Even she wasn't mature enough to resist the allure of an unexpected present.

Chloe went to a cupboard and pulled out a large stack of music books.  Turning, she dropped them heavily into Meghan's arms.  "I remembered you said your mother loved musicals."

Her eyes growing wide, Meghan set the books down on the table and picked up each of them in turn.  There were over a dozen of them, varying from "South Pacific" to "The Scarlet Pimpernel" to "Les Miserables."  "Where did you get these?" asked an astonished Meghan.  She knew a lot of the principal songs in these by heart, but now she had the entire score for all of them.

"I ordered away for them," Chloe told her.  She smiled as she saw Meghan's face light up.  She loved being able to give someone some happiness for a change.  It was a relief after all the heartache she seemed to be putting everyone through lately.  "If you like these, I'll order you some more."

If possible, Meghan's grin widened farther.  "Wow, Chloe!  Thank you.  This is so cool!"  Grabbing a couple of the books, Meghan went straight to the piano and began playing one of her favorites, "Castle on a Cloud" from Les Miserables.

Chloe listened fondly as Meghan's magical touch filled the room with music.  She had been listening through a medley of Meghan's favorites before she heard a noise behind her.  She turned to see a little girl of no more than two standing in the doorway, sucking on her fingers.  "Hi there," she said with a coaxing smile.  "Did you get out of the nursery?  Do you know your name, little one?"  

The little girl just stared at her.  "Come on.  I'll take you back."  Chloe swept the child, who seemed completely unafraid of her, into her arms and spoke loudly, so Meghan could hear her.  "Meghan, I have to go to the nursery for a second.  I'll be right back."  Meghan didn't even stop playing.  She just nodded her head to show she'd heard.  Shaking her head in amusement, Chloe left.

Chloe had barely been gone a minute when another person took Meghan's attention away from her music.  She'd just finished playing "I Hate Men" from Kiss Me Kate and was about to start another piece when she heard clapping behind her.  

"That was beautiful, Meghan," Brady said with a smile.  

Meghan smiled back at him.  Oh, was she glad he was here!  Chloe might not be willing to discuss her love life with Meghan, and Brady probably wouldn't be either; but Meghan was a determined girl when she set her heart on something.  A plan was already forming in her mind.  "Hey, Brady," she greeted him brightly.  "Are you looking for Chloe?"

"No," said Brady quickly.  A bit too quickly, Meghan thought.  "I'm taking Greta out to dinner, but she's still talking to Penny.  I heard you playing and thought I'd come eavesdrop."

"Oh, okay," said Meghan absently, as she began flipping through her new books looking for just the perfect song.  "You can stay if you want, but you have to do me a favor."

"What's that?" he asked, entering the room and peering over her shoulder.

"It's just that I love it when people sing while I play, and there's this song I'd like for you to sing.  Greta and Chloe both say you have a great voice."  Meghan looked up at him with wide, pleading, and—she hoped—innocent eyes. 

It seemed like an odd request to Brady, and the tone of Meghan's voice made it seem stranger still.  That little girl was up to something.  "What's going on, Meghan?"

"Nothing," she replied guiltily.  "Please sing?  Here."  She thrust the book into his hands.  "My mother sang in the national tour of this play.  I already know the music for it.  The lyrics and vocal arrangements are all there."  Without giving him time to say no, she began to play.  "I'll play it through once, so you can get a feel for the music."  _And to give Chloe time to get back, she added to herself, breathing a silent prayer that Chloe would hurry._

Brady watched and listened as Meghan's fingers danced along the keys.  She truly made the music come alive.  The melody was bewitching to say the least; but as he read the lyrics, he wondered once again how Meghan could be so mature at her age.  Was it simple chance that she had chosen a song that completely reflected the state of his heart?  Somehow, Brady didn't think so.

_"I remember days full of restlessness and fury._

_I remember nights that were drunk on dreams._

_I remember someone who hungered for the glory._

_I remember her but it seems…she's gone…"_

Chloe had just turned into the passage outside of the music room, when she heard a deep, male voice join in with Meghan's playing.  She knew immediately whose voice it was and stood frozen.  As the meaning in the words slowly began to dawn on her, her brain warned her to run away as fast as she could.  But she wasn't under her own control anymore.  Like once before, she had ceased to have any say in her thoughts and actions.  Her Phantom had returned, and his voice bewitched and intoxicated her.

_"Where's the girl?_

_Where's the girl with the blaze in her eyes?_

_Where's the girl with the gaze of surprise?_

_Now and then I still dream she's beside me…"_

Against her own volition, Chloe's feet dragged her closer towards the music room, towards him….He was speaking to her and only to her.  She was the one he was waiting for, pleading for.  The loneliness and the longing of the words reached inside the icy shell around her heart and tore it open, until she could barely keep herself from bursting into the room, rushing into his arms, and saying, "Here I am!"  Somehow, she restrained herself.

_"Where's the girl_

_Who could turn on the edge of a knife?_

_Where's the girl who was burning for life?_

_I can still feel her breathing beside me…"_

Creeping to the doorway, Chloe peeked in and saw Brady standing next to Meghan, reading the lyrics out of one of Meghan's new books.  She studied him unaware.  She could see the pain etched in deep lines on his beautiful face.  God, he still missed her!  He still loved her!  After all that she had done to him, he was still waiting for her to come back to him.  What kind of fool was she?  How could she deny him any longer?  How could she deny her own heart?

_"And I know_

_She remembers how fearless it feels_

_To take off with the wind at your heels._

_She and I took this world like a storm!..."_

Brady knew without looking that she was there.  That sense of connection between them had never died.  He knew she was there, knew she was hanging on each word he sang, just as he had lived and died on each word of her song only a matter of weeks ago.  He looked up at his Diva, instantly seeing her inner struggle reflected on her face.  She loved him.  She wanted to come to him, but still something held her back.  He pleaded with her as he sang.

_"Come again!_

_Let the girl in your heart tumble free._

_Bring your renegade heart home to me._

_In the dark of the morning,_

_I'll warm you, I'll rouse you…"_

Chloe felt the searing heat of his gaze to her very bones.  She closed her eyes, trying to shatter his connection with her.  Little good that did her.  It only allowed his words to sink even deeper.  The passion inside her was reaching a boiling point.  Any more of this, and she was going to forget every vow and promise she had ever made.  She would forget herself entirely for the love, the lust, and the fire that only Brady could give her.

_"Don't forget I know who you are._

_We were cut from the same surly star,_

_Like two jewels in the night, sharing fire…"_

Brady could see he was breaking through her walls, her fears, all her inhibitions.  He could see it in her hooded eyes, in the pulse beating rapidly in her throat, in the heat her whole body was sending out.  It was all he could do to stay where he was and sweep her into his arms and carry her away.  No, she had to come to him.  She had to be the one to overcome those obstacles in her head.  Much as he would like to, he couldn't do it for her.

_"Where's the girl_

_So alive and still aching for more?_

_We had dreams that were worth dying for._

_We were caught in the eye of the storm!..."_

She could see it all in her mind.  She could see herself as she had been, how alive Brady had made her feel, more alive even than music.  And she could be that way again.  Brady was offering it all back to her, no questions asked.  All she had to do was go to him.  She took a tentative step forward.  It shouldn't have been so easy.  There was a reason she wasn't supposed to go to him.  But at the moment, she honestly couldn't remember what it was.  All she could see was the love, the forgiveness in Brady's eyes.  All she could hear was the passion in his voice.

_"Come again!_

_Let the girl in your heart tumble free._

_Bring your renegade heart home to me.  _

_In the dark of the morning,_

_I'll warm you, I'll rouse you…"_

Brady knew the instant she had made up her mind.  He could see the tension and the fear leave her face, replaced by an expression of peace.  A half-smile flickered across her face, and her sapphire gaze met his with a desire and love that robbed him of rational thought.  She crossed the room slowly as if being drawn in by the music itself; and Brady waited for her, feeling his heart soar as it hadn't in years.

_"Where's the girl?_

_Is she gazing at me with surprise?_

_Do I still see that blaze in her eyes?_

_Am I dreaming or is she beside me…now…?"_

Chloe stopped only inches away from him, her heart pounding so loudly she was sure he must be able to hear it from where he was standing.  Brady simply gazed at her, afraid to draw breath lest he scare her away.  Neither of them noticed as Meghan stopped playing and turned to watch them, a triumphant smile on her lips.  Time seemed to slow to a crawl as Brady ever so slowly reached out and took her hand in his.

Chloe felt the electric jolt sweep all the way through her body as his fingers closed around hers.  Her hand fit so perfectly there, like it had finally found its resting place.  Brady raised her wrist to his lips and kissed her racing pulse.  Chloe gasped and her eyes closed heavily.  It shouldn't feel this good.  Somewhere, in the recesses of her mind, a warning bell went off.  What?  What was wrong?  Brady was here, loving her.  What else mattered?

"Hey, Brady, are you ready to go?"  Greta stopped immediately once she realized the scene she was walking in on.  But it was too late.  The damage had already been done.  With a flustered sigh, Chloe's mind cleared; and she pulled her hand free.  She shook her head once and turned around and fled.  Brady appeared ready to chase her and then thought better of it.

Meghan shot Greta an annoyed glare.  "Nice going, Princess," she snapped.  Her plan had been working so well.  Given a few more minutes, Brady and Chloe would have told each other they still loved each other; and everything would be settled.  Then, Greta had to come along and ruin it all.

"Sorry," Greta murmured.  "I didn't realize." 

Brady wasn't listening to her though.  He had turned to Meghan, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.  "You didn't happen to plan that, Meghan, did you?"

Meghan shifted uncomfortably and avoided his prying eyes.  "Obviously now very well," she muttered.  "Or Greta wouldn't have walked in just now."

Greta tried to look reproachfully at her, but didn't think she succeeded.  She thought Meghan's childish attempts at matchmaking were adorable.  And it had seemed to be working a lot better than Greta's own untoward advances in the matchmaking field.  Seeing the enraged look on Brady's face however, she felt she ought to at least try to give Meghan a scolding.  "Meghan Fallon, if I had known you were going to pull something like this, I never would have told you about Brady and Chloe."  She couldn't help it.  She winked at Meghan behind Brady's back.

But her gentle reprimand only served to direct Brady's anger towards her.  "You told her?" Brady rounded on Greta, his eyes screaming his feelings of fury, confusion, and betrayal.  And Greta had a distinct feeling it was Chloe he was really upset about.

"It's not Greta's fault," Meghan interposed firmly.  "I figured it out on my own.  She just added a few details.  Besides, I wouldn't have done anything about it if Mr. Kiriakis wasn't so mean to Chloe."

She had Brady's undivided attention now.  He knelt beside her piano bench so that he was eye level with her, worry easily apparent on his face.  "What?  What did you see, Meghan?"

Meghan shrugged.  "He just yelled at her the whole time I was there.  They were always fighting.  He's such a whiny little baby, and a complete jerk.  He doesn't deserve to have a girl like Chloe."  She wrinkled her nose in disgust, a habit she had picked up from Princess Greta.

Brady's fists clenched, but he kept his voice calm.  After all, it wasn't Meghan he wanted to pound into dust.  "Did you see anything else, Meghan?  Did he hurt her?  Did he hit her?"

Meghan shook her head.  "No, Brady, nothing like that.  I just saw how unhappy he makes Chloe; and I knew about you two, so I thought maybe you could be happy again."

Brady and Greta both stared at her, lost for words.  What kind of child was this?  And how come she was wiser than all of the adults around her?

~~*~~

Chloe knew she couldn't go home right away.  Even Phillip, dense as he was, would notice something was up if she came home in this state.  Tears streamed down her cheeks.  She couldn't seem to stop shaking.  She headed straight for the pier, knowing that was one place where she could be alone to pull herself together.  "Damn him!" she cursed, burying her hands in her hair.  "Why do I let him get to me?"

She could still feel the residual effects of yet another emotionally overwhelming confrontation with her soulmate.  Why wouldn't her pulse slow down?  Why wouldn't her heart accept that she had to leave him?  "I couldn't stay with him," she reasoned with herself.  Phillip's heart would be broken.  Beyond that, he would kill himself.  And then, how could she go on like nothing had happened?  She couldn't build a foundation for a life with Brady on the death of her first husband.  No, she had made her choice long ago.  She had to stop second-guessing herself.  She had to stop it all now.

Checking her watch, she realized she had to get home soon; or Phillip would throw a fit about dinner.  But she was too late.  His care was already in the driveway when she pulled in.  Cringing, Chloe walked inside and slowly took off her jacket.  She didn't want to deal with Phillip tonight.  Not tonight.  She wasn't up to it.

As if on cue, she heard Phillip's footsteps echoing down the hallway.  "Hey, honey," he said brightly.  "You're home late.  Where have you been?"

Chloe turned towards him, her eyes flashing angrily.  On the surface, his words might appear like a light greeting; but her carefully trained ears heard the suspicion laced into his words.  "At the Children's Center," she answered shortly.  "I'm sorry about your dinner.  There are still some leftovers from Thanksgiving.  Would you like a hot turkey sandwich?"

Phillip looked sulky at her tone.  "No, actually I ordered take-out.  Why don't you come in and eat with me?"  He looked at her with pleading, puppy dog eyes.

Chloe sighed.  "You know, Phillip, I'm not really hungry tonight.  I think I'm just going to soak in the tub for a while."

Phillip caught her hand in his.  "Please?"

She felt a chill go through her, in direct counterpoint to the warmth that had surged through her body when Brady had taken the same hand just a few hours before.  But then Chloe looked into her husband's eyes and saw the desperation there.  She felt guilty.  After all, what right did she have to be angry with him?  All he had ever done was love her.  None of this was his fault.  "All right, Phillip," she caved.  "But I'm really not very hungry."

"That's okay," he said brightly, flashing his dimples.  "Come on."

Chloe could tell something was up by the excited tone in his voice and the way he practically hauled her into the dining room.  She almost smiled.  She hadn't seen Phillip this happy about anything in years.  When he finally brought her into the dining room, she found a candlelit room filled with the cloying scent of dozens of red roses.  Take-out, obviously from Tuscany's, was laid out on their best china.

Chloe took all this in, bewildered.  "It's not our anniversary.  What's the occasion, Phillip?"

"Can't a man do something nice for his wife every once in a while without it becoming a federal case?" Phillip snapped guiltily.  Recovering, he pulled out her chair for her.  "Have a seat, honey."

Chloe, confused and suspicious, sat and waited for Phillip to drop his bomb.  But he didn't seem to be in any particular hurry.  He opened a bottle of wine and filled both their glasses before sitting down.  He raised his glass in salute.  Chloe eyed him speculatively as she slowly lifted hers.  "What are we toasting, Phillip?" she questioned slowly.

Phillip smiled, once again showing those famous dimples.  "Our future, my love."

Chloe winced at the endearment.  Hadn't Brady called her the same only days ago?  Only when he had said it, it had been a way of letting her go.  "_Be happy, my love."  When Phillip called her that, it was a term of possession, emphasis on the "my."  As she drank to his toast, the wine tasted as bitter as gall.  Not sure anymore that she wanted to hear the specifics of Phillip's news, Chloe picked at her food, carefully avoiding his eyes.  Why did she have to be here tonight?  Why couldn't she be at Brady's apartment, in Brady's arms, as Brady's wife?_

"I had a meeting with Brady today," Phillip remarked casually, interrupting her less than faithful thoughts.

Chloe couldn't have controlled her reaction if she'd tried.  Her head shot up, and her fork clatter to the table.  Phillip's eyes narrowed as he saw her pale.  She couldn't still be pining away after Brady, could she?  Not after all these years without any contact with him.

"Oh," said Chloe, once she could breathe again.  All her energy was focused on keeping her voice from shaking.  "What did he want?"

Phillip's gaze never left her face.  "He's transferring me to Los Angeles.  We leave by the end of the week."

"What!?"  Chloe didn't know what to feel most shocked about:  Brady sending her away, or Phillip seeming happy about it.

"Yeah," said Phillip, still grinning.  "It will be a good change for us.  We'll be able to get away from all of the stuff that's been keeping us from being happy.  Just think, Chloe.  Think of how great it will be to raise our kids someplace without the bad aura that Salem has had recently."

Chloe's mouth literally hung open in shock.  She couldn't even begin to process his comment about children yet.  She was still stuck on his announcement.  "But…How…You're really serious about this, aren't you?  You thought you'd just come home tonight, tell me we're moving, and I'd say, 'Okay, let's go.'  I'm sorry, Phillip; but I don't want to move!  What about Meghan?  What about my choir?  We're supposed to have our first concert around Christmastime!" 

Chloe wasn't sure that she was really angry at Phillip.  Her thoughts were centered around Brady Black.  What the hell was he playing at now?  She refused to leave her husband, so he was sending them into exile?  Was he really that vindictive?  She remembered what he had said in the park that night about how he took over Titan for revenge.  Was he doing the same thing now?  Was she just a pawn, a trophy after all?

Phillip's anger rose swiftly, matching hers.  "It's not like I have any choice in the matter, Chloe!  You can blame it all on your beloved ex-boyfriend.  It was his decision.  I'm trying to see the bright side of this, how we'll finally be free from the pain of this house, how you'll finally be out from under Brady's shadow.  But maybe I have it wrong.  Maybe you don't want to be free of him."

Chloe could see the fear and suspicion in Phillip's face.  She willed herself to be calm.  What Phillip said made sense.  Maybe a change of scene would be good for her.  But still, something held her back.  She refused to allow herself to believe it was Brady.  It was Meghan.  It had to be Meghan.  "I'm sorry, Phillip," she said contritely.  "I overreacted.  If you need to move, I'll move.  But please, let me stay behind until after Christmas.  This concert is so important to me!"  Her eyes pleaded with him to understand.

"You want to stay here alone?" Phillip repeated, in a calmer if still highly suspicious tone.

"It would only be for about a month," Chloe reasoned.  "Like you've been gone on your business trips.  There'd be less pressure on both of us for the move.  I'd be able to stay behind and wrap up all the details.  Please, Phillip.  Just a month.  And then, I swear, I'll join you; and you'll never hear another word from me about anyone connected with Salem as long as I live."

Phillip contemplated her in silence for more than a minute, much as a king considered the cringing peasant's request.  When he had first thought about how this move might save his marriage, his main concern was getting her away from that choir, away from that demon child.  Now, Chloe was asking for a month to say goodbye to that child.  Who was to say Meghan might not cause innumerable more problems for them in the meantime?  And added to that was a new and sudden fear that his wife wasn't as over Brady Black as he'd thought she was.  

But if he forced her to come now, Phillip knew he'd estrange her forever.  He couldn't handle that.  If she needed a month, he'd give it to her.  And then, he'd take her far away from this place, where no one but himself would ever have access to her again.  The selfish part of his nature loved that thought.  "All right, Chloe," he finally agreed.  Then, to add to her already substantial guilt, he reached over and took her hands in his.  "I love you, Chloe.  You know that, right?  I always have, and I always will.  You're mine.  You belong to me."  There was pleading in his voice, but his eyes were like steel.

"I know, Phillip," Chloe said automatically.  Then to avoid having to lie and say she loved him, she brought her face to his and kissed him.  He took possession of her lips eagerly, his hands digging into her hair.  She willed herself so respond, willed herself to forget that she had almost let herself be led astray by Brady Black.  She obviously meant nothing to him.  If she did, he could never have sent her away.  Phillip loved her.  Only Phillip loved her.  That thought braced her and allowed her to get through one more night with Phillip's body claiming the rightful property of another man.

~~*~~

Brady couldn't sleep.  Again.  He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been able to sleep through the night.  Well, unless you counted the nights when he was passed out drunk.  But tonight, he refused to give into the temptation to grab a bottle of scotch and drink away the pain.  No, he'd bear it if it killed him.  He had to exorcise her from his system once and for all.

He went out onto the balcony, ignoring the icy winter chill.  It was no colder out here than it was inside of his heart.  She had almost been his.  He had felt it.  But that had been his last chance.  By the end of the week, she would be gone.  He'd never see her again.  Why did Sami have to force his hand?  Why had she made him give up the one person who truly meant something to him?  

Shaking his head, he pushed Sami from his thoughts.  He could curse Sami and Phillip and Nicole until daybreak, and it still wouldn't address the root of the problem.  The source wasn't them.  The source was his own obsession for Chloe, and her equally strong refusal to accept that she had to leave Phillip.  He thought of Meghan and Greta.  They wanted so much to help them both.  But they couldn't.  No one could.

"It wasn't meant to be," he said aloud, as if somehow saying it would make him accept it easier.  It didn't.  How could they not be meant to be together?  They had known from that first night that they were connected in the most intimate way two people ever could be.  They were joined soul to soul, heart to heart.  How was he supposed to get on without the other half of his heart?

But he had to.  She was going to leave, and it was all his doing.  She was going to leave, and there wasn't a damn thing he could do to stop it.  She'd stay married to Phillip until she just got too tired and worn out to go on any longer.  He could see already the signs of her depression leading her towards a path from which there was no returning.  And as for him?  Well, he'd get on somehow.  He'd shut down again.  Or maybe he'd just take a flying leap off this balcony one of these nights.  It's not like it mattered anymore.  Chloe was gone.

He smiled bitterly at the irony of the song Meghan had picked out.  She hadn't mentioned the reprise, but Brady had found it flipping through the pages later on.  That love song didn't end quite so well.  He whispered the words into the wind, feeling the death knell in his soul.

_"I remember days full of restlessness and fury…_

_I remember nights that were drunk on dreams…_

_I remember someone who hungered for the glory…_

_I remember her…_

_Let her go!_

_Let her live, let her die on her own!_

_We are all of us bruised and alone._

_Now we both will have nothing to hold!_

_Let her know! _

_Hurl it into her renegade heart_

_That the best of our dreams fell apart!_

_And the dark…of the morning…grows cold…"_

[Song credit:  "Where's the Girl?" from the musical "The Scarlet Pimpernel," music by Frank Wildhorn, lyrics by Nan Knighton]


	14. Chapter Fourteen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Fourteen**

"So you've finally done it," were the scathing words that first greeted Brady when he entered his office on the next cold Monday morning.

He glared at Nicole Walker, planted firmly in the chair behind his desk and with no apparent intentions of moving.  He didn't need this today.  Wasn't it enough that he had given up the love of his life?  Did he have to listen to whatever petty bitterness was on Nicole's mind now?  "What exactly have I done?" he asked wearily.

"Gotten rid of the competition," replied Nicole, with a sarcastic smirk.  "It's no wonder you've become such an industry leader, Brady, when you can treat your own uncle this way."

Brady just stared at her.  What the hell was she talking about?  "What?  Because I had Phillip transferred?  I thought you'd be happy about that.  No more complications, right?"

"Not for you anyway," Nicole countered spitefully.  "Tell me, did you come up with this idea on you own, or did Operagirl suggest it?"

Brady couldn't hide his anger or frustration any longer.  "Just get out of my office, okay, Nicole?  I'm not in the mood.  They left on Friday.  Let that be enough for you."

Nicole pushed away from the desk, her eyes wide with surprise.  "You don't know then?"

"Know what?" Brady snapped irritably.  All he wanted was a strong cup of coffee and a huge stack of reports to occupy his mind for the next miserable day of his existence.

Nicole paused.  Maybe she shouldn't tell him.  She had obviously misread his part in all this.  Just what game was Chloe playing at?  She wouldn't leave with her husband, but she didn't tell her lover?  Unless…maybe Brady and Chloe weren't really lovers…maybe…

"Nicole, what don't I know?" Brady repeated harshly.

A catlike smile crossed Nicole's features.  "Nothing.  Just that Mrs. Kiriakis didn't move with her husband.  I can't imagine why she wouldn't tell you.  Unless, of course, you're not the one she's staying for."  She stopped, letting that thought fill the air.  Of course, Chloe was just a whore anyway.  Maybe this would finally make Brady see that she was right about her.

Brady felt all the air forced out of his lungs.  Chloe was staying.  She hadn't left with Phillip.  Did this mean, could this mean that she was finally ready to leave her marriage?  Did they actually have a chance together?  A huge grin stole onto Brady's face.  Chloe hadn't left.  There was still hope.

Nicole was overcome with jealous fury when she saw the look of joy on Brady's gorgeous face.  Hadn't he heard a word she had said?  Didn't he see what a fool Chloe was making out of both him and Phillip?  "So Brady, why were you trying to send Chloe away since you're obviously oh-so-glad she's staying?" she spit out.

Immediately, Brady clamped down on the emotions that were pouring freely out of him.  "That's none of—"

"My business," Nicole interrupted him peevishly.  "Fine.  I know.  Forget it.  If you want to let that bitch continue to play with your heart go right ahead."  She finally headed for the door as he had asked her to long before.  She turned in the doorway and flung a parting shot behind her.  "But Chloe Lane is never going to love you like you want her to.  She's incapable of it.  People say I'm a bitch, but that girl has ice water running through her veins."

Brady watched her go, entirely dismissing her warnings.  She didn't know Chloe like he did.  Nobody knew Chloe like he did.  He sank into his chair, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.  If Chloe had stayed, there was only one reason.  "She must love me," he breathed, that smile now engulfing his entire face. 

~~*~~

Brady took the stairs at the Children's Center two at a time.  After all, Chloe was here.  His Chloe.  Not that he was blind to the problems they were facing.  He wasn't.  But she had stayed.  She had finally made up her mind, and he was going to do everything in his power to see that she got out of her joke of a marriage as quickly and easily as possible.  And then, they'd take it from there.  As he rounded the corner to the music room, he saw kids streaming from it.  Perfect timing.  Choir practice was just ending.  

"Hey, Brady," six-year-old Brittany greeted him, flashing him a toothless smile.  

"Hiya, Britty-brits, looks like you got another visit from the Tooth Fairy this week."  Brady knelt and examined her smile.

Brittany giggled.  "Yep.  She left me a whole dollar!"

Brady whistled.  "Wow!  That must have been a pretty special tooth."

"It was," she replied proudly.  "Chloe says that now I can lead the kids in 'All I Want for Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth.'"

Brady laughed.  It was easy to see that Meghan wasn't the only little girl who idolized his Diva.  "I'm sure you'll do great, Britty.  I can't wait to see you."

Brittany's blue-gray eyes lit up.  "Are you coming?  Yay!  My grandma and grandpa are coming all the way from Iowa to see me, and to stay for Christmas."

Brady knew just how important the attention she would be getting was to Brittany.  As the oldest of four children, all under the age of seven, Brittany often felt passed over or pushed to the side.  He had a feeling that was why Chloe had chosen her to solo.  For someone who had never dealt with children, Chloe was very observant of their personalities and problems.  "That's great, Britty.  They'll be so proud of you.  We all are."  He smiled and gave her shoulders a squeeze.

Chloe watched the scene hidden behind the door.  Despite herself, her heart melted.  She could see now why Greta had said Brady would make such a great dad.  Unlike Phillip, Brady was so gentle with the children, but not patronizing.  He recognized that children had emotions and complexities that adults rarely gave them credit for.  These children especially seemed to carry burdens far too heavy for them.  But Brady knew how to make them relax and just be kids.

How different everything could have been!  She closed her eyes and tried to picture what it could have been like to have a child with Brady.  A little girl with Brady's perfect smile and her soprano voice.  A boy with her dark hair and Brady's lanky build.  And always, those blue eyes as deep as the sea.  She could see herself singing their children to sleep, while Brady watched from the doorway, a look of love and contentment on his face.

With a startled gasp, Chloe made herself pull out of the daydream.  She saw that Brittany's little brother Joel had come to talk to Brady too.  Chloe turned away from them.  She forced herself to remember how furious she was supposed to be with Brady.  Yes, that's right.  He was sending her away.  Away from the only town she had been able to call home since she was a small child.  Away from her only links to a happier past.  Away from…him.

She started stacking the chairs against the walls.  Part of her hoped he wouldn't come in here.  And yet her traitorous heart beat faster at the thought of seeing him alone.  If there was one word to describe her recent encounters with Brady, it was "unpredictable."  They might end up screaming at each other.  Or laughing like old friends.  Or, and this was what frightened Chloe most, wrapped in a lover's embrace.

Once Brady had promised he'd join them in a minute, Brittany and Joel followed the rest of the kids downstairs.  Brady, meanwhile, crossed the remaining steps separating him from the room where his Diva waited.  A smile flickered across his face as he watched her graceful movements.  Even in such a homely setting, Chloe looked like a queen. His eyes traveled the length of her in her form-fitting black top and black and red ankle-length skirt, with a slit just high enough to give Brady a glimpse of one perfectly formed leg.  God, he hoped this divorce came quickly.  He didn't think he could control himself much longer.  Every fiber in his body yearned to make love to her.

Chloe knew, of course, the moment Brady started watching her.  She could feel the heat practically pouring from his eyes into her skin.  She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath, trying to remind herself of why she was so angry with him.  It was a lost cause when she turned around and saw the love and passion in Brady's gaze.  She knew without a doubt that if she didn't do something instantly, he was going to take her in his arms.  And that would be the end of her resistance.

"If you're looking for Greta, she's not here," Chloe said quickly and coldly, positioning herself on the far side of the room from him.

Brady frowned as he listened to the aloof, icy tone of her voice, as he studied the rigid straightness of her back.  For the first time since Nicole had announced Chloe hadn't gone with Phillip, he felt worried.  What was wrong now?  "I'm not looking for Greta.  I'm looking for you," he said firmly, entering the music room and shutting the door behind him.

Chloe tried to act unperturbed by his presence, even as he approached her.  She raised her chin haughtily.  "Oh?  Then, why didn't you start looking in Los Angeles?  Isn't that where I'm supposed to be?"

He heard the barely concealed rage in her voice.  Why the hell was she mad at him?  It's not like he'd had any choice about it.  He'd warned her what Sami was up to, and she'd shrugged him off.  There hadn't been any other way.  He couldn't let Phillip hear those rumors.  "That's where Phillip is, at any rate," Brady returned.

Chloe glared spitefully at him.  "And as his wife, I should be with him.  And I will be as soon as I tie up some loose ends here."  She would leave him in no doubt as to the situation.  She wasn't staying for him.  She hadn't let him win.  She was still Phillip's wife and always would be.  Nothing had changed.  

Chloe's words had more effect than a stab wound on Brady's heart.  Of course, she wasn't actually staying.  They just hadn't been ready to move in a week.  Nothing had changed.  Brady nodded once curtly, making sure to bury every trace of his heartbreak.  "Of course," he said brusquely, thinking on his feet.  "Actually, that's what I'm here about.  Are you and Phillip selling the mansion?"

Chloe marveled at the sudden change in him.  One moment, she had glimpsed a pain so deep and raw that she felt she couldn't continue this charade another moment longer; and then the next, it had simply disappeared, replaced by his cool, businesslike exterior.  She didn't know which to accept as reality.  "Um, I'm not sure," she stammered.  "I guess so.  I don't see how we can keep two houses.  But I haven't really talked to Phillip about it."

Brady nodded again.  "If you do decide to sell, let me know.  I might want to make an offer."  He turned away, prepared to go, as if that had been his real and only intent in seeking her out.

"Why?" Chloe blurted out before she could stop herself.  "So you can add one more thing to your list of things taken from Phillip Kiriakis?"

Brady stopped short and slowly turned around to face her.  He had never before seen such a look of mingled fury and hurt on her face.  "What are you talking about, Chloe?" he asked with misleading quiet.

"First, you took his company.  Not to mention his dignity and his self-respect.  Then, you try and take his wife.  When that fails, you send us both away so you can take his house."  Even Chloe was overwhelmed by the bitterness of her words.  She didn't really believe that, did she?

Brady finally understood.  "You think that's why I had Phillip transferred?  Because I couldn't get you to leave him?"  

"Isn't it?" Chloe spat out, though all her anger couldn't conceal the glimmer of hope in her words.

"In a way, yes," Brady admitted.  "But only because I couldn't see any other way to keep Phillip from hearing the rumors Sami is going to spread.  I tried to tell you at Brady's Pub that day, remember?"  

Chloe struggled to hide the relief and pleasure that stole over her at Brady's confession.  She didn't want him to think he was forgiven that easily.  "So you were just trying to protect yourself," she accused.  "You were afraid of what Phillip would do to you if he found out."

Brady laughed out loud at that idea.  "Me?  Afraid of Uncle Phil?  Likely.  No, I wasn't worried about myself.  I was worried about you," he confessed softly.  "I didn't know what Phillip would do to you, but I was sure it wouldn't be good."  Brady could tell by the look on Chloe's face that he had been right.  He took another step toward her.  Now was the time to press his advantage.

"What would he have done to you, Chloe?" he pried gently.  "You don't need to be afraid of him now.  He's thousands of miles away.  He can't hurt you.  Just tell me, okay?"

Chloe bit her lip.  Brady did have a point, and he did have a right to know why it was she wouldn't leave Phillip.  Maybe if he knew, he'd be able to finally get some closure and move on with his life.  But maybe that's what she was afraid of.  Once he found out that she wasn't in immediate danger—that she stayed in her marriage of her own volition—he would give up on her, on his love for her.  And Chloe wasn't sure she could live without the hope that someday, somehow she and Brady would be together again.

"Chloe?" he said softly, taking another step towards her.  He gently tipped up her chin and saw the fear and indecision in her eyes.  "Chloe, it's me, Brady.  Whatever it is, you know you can tell me.  You've never been able to keep anything from me before, remember?"

Chloe looked into the depths of his blue eyes and saw great pools of love in them.  And she knew she had to tell him, even if it would kill his love once and for all.  Brady deserved to be happy.  She couldn't be as selfish as Phillip and try to hold on to someone who wasn't really hers.  "Okay, Brady," she sighed.  "You want to know the truth?  Here it is.  I'm not afraid of what Phillip would do to me.  Well, maybe a little bit; but my real fear is what he would do to himself."

"What?" exclaimed Brady, not sure whether he was more astonished at the news Chloe had just told him, or the fact that after all this time, he was going to learn the truth from Chloe's own lips.

"Phillip is suicidal, Brady."  Chloe couldn't' believe what a relief it was to finally voice the burden she had carried all alone for so many years.  "That's why I can't, I won't, leave him.  He'd kill himself if I did.  He's told me so."

Brady tried to digest the information she was giving him.  "He's manipulating you, Chloe," he argued.  "He's lying to get his own way, just like he always does.  He wouldn't honestly kill himself."

Chloe glared at him.  "Of course, he's manipulating me.  You think I don't know that?  But I can't call his bluff.  He tried it once before, and I'm sure he'd do it again in a second if I ever tried to leave him again."

"Again?" Brady repeated, putting two and two together and realizing what her phone call had been about that night at the Wesleys.

But Chloe didn't realize Brady had already heard part of the story.  "Yes," she confessed.  "Not long after our marriage, I realized it wasn't going to work.  One particular night, we had a huge argument—it doesn't matter what about—and I told him I wished he'd burn in the fire.  Those were my last words to him before I rushed out of the house.  I went to my parents, and pretty soon I got a phone call from Henderson telling me that Phillip had tried to throw himself into the fire.  So you see.  It's all my fault."

Brady felt he had never truly loved her until that moment.  How had her already fragile, scarred heart managed to carry around such a heavy burden for so long?  "Damn it, Chloe.  Come here," he commanded.  Then, without waiting for her to respond, he pulled her into his strong arms and held her tightly.  She leaned weakly into him, accepting his temporary comfort.  She knew her rest couldn't last for long.  

"This is not your fault," he whispered savagely, his hold on her unconsciously tightening.  "This is Phillip's problem, not yours.  He needs help."

"He was on medication for a while," Chloe confessed.  "Anti-depressants prescribed by Dr. Kaiser, the Kiriakis family physician.  But then, once things settled down again, he went off them.  He was actually doing okay until things started going bad for Titan."  Even while she told Brady this, she couldn't bring herself to pull away from him.  She rested her head against his heart and listened to its strong, steady beat.  She hadn't felt this secure in years.  

"So, he can take them again," Brady countered harshly.  "Better yet, have him committed.  We'll deal with it, Chloe.  The important thing is to get you out of this mess."  He tried to focus all his attention on helping Chloe to be free of Phillip and her guilt.  But part of his mind kept wandering back to the delicious feeling of having her soft, warm body molded into his.  It brought back too many memories—some poignant, some painful, some tantalizingly erotic.  

Brady's final words sunk into Chloe's brain; and she forced herself to pull away, shaking her head vehemently.  "No, Brady.  The important thing is keeping Phillip alive and healthy.  I'm not the one who needs your pity and compassion.  I'm the reason all three of us are so damn miserable.  And I'm sorry, Brady.  I know all you want to do is help me and protect me, but I've had to deal with this for a much longer time than you have.  Don't you think I've gone over all the option a thousand times in my head?  And once you've had time to do that, you'll see that I'm right.  The only way is the way I've chosen."

Brady winced at the finality of her words.  "So what?  That's it?  You just waste the rest of your life in a loveless marriage?"  His jaw clenched as he struggled so hard to remain in control of his emotions.  He didn't know whether he felt more like murdering someone or dissolving into childlike tears.

Chloe choked back her own sobs.  She placed a gentle hand on his beloved face.  "Oh God, Brady, I'm sorry.  If there was anyway I could go back in time and change things, you know I would.  If there was anything I could do to make things different now, I'd do it, no matter what the cost.  But there's not.  And I think, deep down, you know that."

Brady covered her smooth, soft hand with his own, squeezing his eyes shut to try and shut out the pain.  "It's not fair," he breathed finally.  "I love you, Diva.  I should be able to save you from this."

Chloe heard his words with the most bittersweet of heartbreaks.  He still loved her.  She had told him the truth, and he still loved her.  But she also heard in his words a resignation to the inevitable.  He had given up hope.  After five long years, Brady Black finally accepted that his Chloe Lane was gone forever.

~~*~~

"What…what happened next?" Nancy managed to get out between her sobs.

Brady shrugged dispiritedly.  "Nothing.  I made an awkward exit and went downstairs to play with the kids."  He slumped back in his seat, his rapidly cooling tea still untouched.  He hadn't meant to pour all that out when he came to visit the Wesleys.  He was just going to give them a statement of facts about why Chloe hadn't left Phillip.  He wasn't sure where along the way he had started confessing all his heartbreak.

Nancy grabbed a tissue and wiped her streaming eyes.  She wasn't sure whether she felt more pain for her daughter or Brady at this point.  She glanced at Craig.  She was surprised by the look of intense concentration on his face.  Instead of the sympathetic expression she'd expected to see, Nancy found her husband with the creased brow he usually reserved for right before major surgeries.  She shrugged it aside.  She'd talk to Craig later.  Brady was the one who needed her now.

"Oh, honey," she said softly, patting Brady's cheek in a motherly fashion.  "I wish there was something I could say.  This was honestly nothing like what I expected.  I can't believe I'm saying this; but it would almost be better if he were beating on her, because then we'd at least be able to pull her out of there.  I can't even begin to fathom how we deal with this."  Nancy leaned back on the sofa, wearing a dejected expression almost identical to Brady's.

Craig spoke for the first time since Brady had begun telling the story.  "I think the best thing you can do, Brady, is to just let her go.  Chloe's trying to something honorable, however misguided; and it will be much easier on her—and on you, too—if you're not confronted with each other on a day-to-day basis."

"Craig!" Nancy burst out angrily, glaring at her husband.  "How can you say something like that?  Brady loves Chloe, loves her much more than that crazy Kiriakis brat has any idea how to!"

"Which is why Dr. Wesley is right," interposed Brady, with a bleak smile.  "I have to love her enough to do what's best for her.  And what's best for her is for me to leave her alone."

"But…but…" Nancy stammered, looking in angry confusion from her husband to Brady.

Craig nodded curtly, a moment of mutual understanding passing between the two men.  "We know what we're doing, Nancy," he stated calmly.  "It's time to let Brady have some peace.  He's been doing our job for long enough now.  It's our turn to take care of Chloe."

Nancy was too stunned to speak.  Brady stood up and shook hands with Craig.  "Bye, Dr. Wesley, Mrs. Wesley.  By the way," he added, as he turned to leave.  "From what I heard at the Children's Center, I don't think Chloe is leaving until after the Christmas Benefit Concert.  If you want to see her, that would be your best chance."

"Thanks, Brady," Craig replied, clapping him on the shoulder.  "Let me see you to the door."

Nancy watched them walk away, her bewilderment giving way to that boiling temper she had passed on to her daughter.  By the time her husband came back, she was armed and ready for him.  "How could you do that, Craig?  Don't you care about Chloe at all?  How could you let her stay with that filthy, evil, insane, cowardly bastard?"  Nancy was so angry she was literally foaming at the mouth.

Craig clamped his hands firmly on her shoulders.  "Nancy, calm down for a moment.  You're going to have a heart attack.  You're too worked up."

"Can you blame me?" Nancy bit out.  "After what you said to Brady—"

"What I said to Brady was perfectly true," Craig continued rationally.  "He needs to leave her alone.  He understands that.  This isn't his mess to fix."

"And how do you suppose we can fix it?" Nancy asked, a little more calmly.  "I still say the best weapon we had against Phillip is Brady and Chloe's love for each other."  Nancy wasn't quite sure when she had started thinking of her daughter's marriage in terms of strategy and warfare.  It had been too long ago to recount.  All she knew was that Phillip was the enemy, and her beloved husband had just sent their strongest ally out of the battle.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Craig drawled.  "I think the truth is generally found to be pretty persuasive."

Nancy's brow furrowed.  What was Craig up to?  She hadn't understood a word he'd said or a thing he'd done since Brady came to see them.  "The truth about what?"  

"About what really happened the night Chloe almost left Phillip," Craig answered evasively.  He was having too much fun torturing his wife to come right out and voice his suspicions.  Besides that's all they were right now, and he didn't want to get her hopes up in case he was wrong.

"I don't understand," Nancy snapped.  She hated feeling like the only one in the dark.  Especially when Craig was obviously hiding the light under a bushel.  "Brady just told us what happened."

"No," Craig corrected firmly.  "Brady just told us what Chloe _thinks happened that night.  That's a huge difference, and one I intend to get to the bottom of."_

If possible, Nancy's expression became even more perplexed.  "What are you saying, Craig?  Won't you just come out and say it?"

Craig shook his head.  "Not yet.  I don't have much more than a hunch.  But I'll find out the truth.  And if I'm right, Chloe might not be lost to us for much longer."


	15. Chapter Fifteen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Fifteen**

Chloe couldn't seem to help herself.  As the days slipped quickly by, she found herself drifting slowly through her past here in Salem.  With every box she packed, it seemed she packed away more of her memories.  She had promised Phillip that after the holidays she would leave behind not only Salem but everything it stood for.  And she would keep her promise.  But in the meantime, she relived every moment of her time here.

Her feet refused to stay still.  She must have walked the sleepy streets of Salem at least a dozen times over the next two weeks.  And certain places drew her back even more often.  One day, Chloe stood outside the Wesley house for a full half an hour, trying to work up the courage to knock on the door.  But Henderson's words resounded in her mind.  "_She says to say she has no daughter…has no daughter…has no daughter…"  Chloe walked away without a word to them.  There was no reason to stay._

She visited the old high school hang-outs.  Dot.com.  Ballistix.  Salem Place.  But how could it be the same without Belle or Shawn?  She hadn't even truly enjoyed high school when she was in it.  She entered the Salem High auditorium one night.  Looking around her, she realized that if she could go back in time and change only one moment in her life, it would have been the moment she revealed her red dress to Phillip.  What a different course her entire life might have taken if only she hadn't done that!  

Chloe thought about the Last Blast 2001.  She thought about Jan and Mimi and Operagirl.net.  Funny, but she couldn't feel anything even remotely like regret about that night.  That was the night Phillip had shown his true colors.  Her ears still rang with the names he had called her.  But that had also been the night that Brady came after her.  She had learned later from Belle that he had searched everywhere for her.  She smiled wistfully.  If only she had realized then just how much he loved her, and how much she needed him.  Chloe turned and left the gym.  There was no reason to stay.

After that, it was a natural progression to visit all her special places with Brady.  And there had been so many.  The pier.  The bowling alley.  Lookout Point.  The gazebo.  The swings.  And every time Chloe approached them with the air of a religious pilgrim coming to worship at a holy shrine.  And each time she went away with nothing but a cold, empty feeling in her gut.  He wasn't there.  Those places were nothing but dead ruins without him.  There was no reason to stay.

So then why was it so hard to let go?  She realized it one day about two weeks before Christmas as she led the children through "What Child Is This?"  As Chloe listened to the purity of their sweet, high voices, combined with Meghan's masterful playing, she finally understood that she couldn't bear to leave them.  They meant too much to her.  She'd already given up Brady.  Must she give up the rest of her soul as well?  

"Chloe," said Meghan hesitantly after choir practice, as the rest of the kids filed out.  "There's something I need to tell you."  She'd been putting it off for weeks, ever since the end of Thanksgiving weekend.  She hadn't wanted to bring Chloe down, but she really needed some advice, an adult to turn to now.

Chloe sighed.  She had just made up her mind that she was going to have to tell Meghan about her move today.  She had been putting it off for weeks, hoping something would change.  But nothing had.  And nothing would.  "I've got to talk to you about something, too," she admitted.  

"Oh, you go first," Meghan demurred quickly.  She didn't want to start.  She didn't know how she would begin.  Although exactly why she was nervous about telling Chloe, she couldn't fathom.  If anyone could understand, it would be Chloe.  But Chloe had so much to deal with on her own.  Was there really any way she'd be able to help Meghan?

"Okay.  Come sit with me," instructed Chloe, pulling out two chairs.  Meghan watched her, innocently curious.  Chloe decided the best way would just be the most direct.  "Meghan, my husband was transferred to Los Angeles a few weeks ago."

Meghan grinned.  "You mean Phillip's gone?  And you're just now telling me?"  If Phillip was gone, maybe Meghan wouldn't have such a problem after all.  Maybe Chloe would let her live with her.

"There's more to it, Meghan," Chloe continued solemnly.  Meghan's smile disappeared at the look on Chloe's face.  She didn't say anything, just waited for Chloe to deliver the bad news.  She knew the look on Chloe's face.  It was the look adults got when they had something unpleasant to say, and didn't know how to say it.  It was the look the police officer had had when he came to tell her that her parents were dead.  "I'm moving too.  After Christmas."

Meghan paled and jumped up.  She didn't know how to process this.  She didn't want to process it.  "Yeah.  Okay.  Sure," she said absently, fiddling with the strap on her backpack.

"Meghan," Chloe said gently, standing and placing a hand on Meghan's shoulder.  "Please understand.  It's not what I want.  I don't have any choice."

Meghan pulled away.  She didn't want to hear excuses.  She didn't need them.  She knew the truth by now.  Everyone left her.  Her parents.  Multiple sets of foster parents.  And now Chloe.  "Whatever," she replied breezily, as if it didn't matter.  "I gotta go now.  Bye."  She rushed from the room, not stopping even when she bumped into Princess Greta outside the door.

"Meghan, are you okay?" Greta called after her; but Meghan didn't even turn around.  Frowning, Greta proceeded into the music room.  She saw Chloe bent over, her face in her hands, and felt a wave of pity for her.  For the first time since Chloe had broken Brady's heart again, Greta had the desire to make things up with her.  "Chloe, is everything all right?  I saw Meghan rushing out of here.  Is she okay?"

Chloe shook her head morosely.  "I told her I'm moving.  She didn't take it very well, not that I blame her.  God, I must seem just as uncaring as all the foster families she's lived with.  I must appear to her the way all of my foster parents seemed to me."  She grimaced.  She couldn't stand to think that Meghan could hate her that way.

"She's a sweet girl, Chloe," Greta tried to comfort her, coming to sit by Chloe and rubbing her back.  "She'll understand.  Just give her time."  Silently, she wondered if that was true.  Greta didn't understand, as she had several years on Meghan.  

Chloe smiled wryly, guessing Greta's thoughts.  "You can't understand the incomprehensible, Greta.  I can't explain it to you, any more than I could to Meghan.  But this is what I have to do.  At least Brady understands."  She felt the familiar piercing of her heart as she brought up his beloved name.  

"Have you spoken to him, Chloe?"  Greta asked hopefully.  She had hoped that they might find some sort of closure, but Brady hadn't mentioned anything to her.  Of course, she had noticed that Brady had seemed less destructive in his misery lately.  No more drinking binges.  No more missed work, or avoiding his family.  He seemed to have entered a state where he just went through the motions.  Was that supposed to be closure?

"Yeah, we talked," Chloe said dispiritedly.  "For all the good it did.  Actually, in a way, it did.  He knows the truth now.  He'll be able to move on eventually, get on with his life."  She tried to conceal how much the thought pained her; the thought of Brady falling in love again, getting married, maybe having children.  She didn't want to think about it.

"And what about you?" Greta inquired softly.  "Can you move on?"  All her remaining anger towards Chloe melted away.  Chloe wasn't an ice queen as Nicole had tried to make her believe.  She wasn't some bitch who took delight in causing Brady pain.  She was just a woman—a girl actually, who'd been forced to grow up way too soon—trying to do what she thought was right, even if it didn't always make sense.

Chloe laughed mirthlessly.  "I don't have any choice, do I?  Phillip is going to be flying in the day after the concert.  We're moving the day after Christmas."  She shrugged hopelessly.  "I don't know.  It's probably a good thing for me.  I'll be away from all these memories.  I'll learn to finally accept that this is my life, and there is no escaping it."  

Greta's gentle heart broke.  "God, Chloe, please tell me what I can do.  There's got to be something I can do.  I can't stand to see you suffering like this."  

Chloe gave her a weak smile.  "Thanks, Greta.  Your friendship has meant a lot to me over the last few months.  I'll miss you so much when I go away.  But there really is nothing you can do.  You're sweet to want to though."  

Greta felt a surge of guilt.  How good a friend had she been to Chloe really?  She'd tried to encourage her into an adulterous affair; and then, she'd been angry when Chloe hadn't given into temptation or left her husband.  Wouldn't she have been a much better friend to have gotten Chloe to open up about the issues that weighed so heavily on her?  "Don't thank me, Chloe," she replied quietly.  "I don't deserve it.  This is as much my fault as anyone's."

Chloe gave another dead laugh.  "Sorry, Princess.  But nothing you did had anything to do with this.  No, the mistakes were all made a long time ago; and almost all of them were mine.  Now, it's just a matter of living with them.  Actually, there is something I want to ask of you."  

Greta nodded.  "Anything.  You know I'll do it."  She honestly felt at that moment, if Chloe had asked her to have Phillip murdered, she would have said okay.  Her face scrunched up at the thought.  

"Take care of Meghan, and look out for Brady.  Neither one of them will want you to, of course.  So don't tell them," Chloe advised.  "I know you would have probably done that without my telling you to.  But I had to say it.  I…I think I can handle it all better if I know that you're going to be here for them."  

Greta bit her lip to keep from crying.  "Of course, Chloe.  I won't let anything happen to them.  You have my word."  She wondered just how much that was worth.  She might be able to protect them from outside forces.  But how could she protect them from the demons inside them?  She loved Brady and Meghan, but she didn't understand them the way that Chloe did.  Who would know how to keep them safe besides Chloe?  Who could they depend on if not on her?

~~*~~

Meghan rushed out the doors of the Children's Center and into the icy winter air, without a jacket.  Around her, some of the parents who got off earlier were picking up their children.  "Mom!" cried one little boy, brushing past Meghan and flinging himself into his mother's arms.  

Meghan turned away and headed off towards the swing set on the side of the building.  She brushed the snow off one of the swings with her bare hands and sat down.  She wouldn't cry.  Crying was reserved for the really bad things in life, like when your parents died.  What did it matter if some stupid woman she'd only known a few months left her?  It's not like Meghan had expected Chloe to stay around forever.  A year in foster care should have taught her that people just didn't stick around her very long.

Nobody cared enough to stay around.  She didn't matter to anyone.  No one would care if she suddenly wasn't there.  She could just sit out on this swing all night long, and no one would care.  No one would find her until she was frozen into a solid block of ice.  And then, that would be the end of it.  She'd be in heaven with her mom and dad.  Even Chloe said there was a heaven, and her parents were there.  

It felt like she had been sitting there forever—though in reality no more than ten minutes—before she heard footsteps crunching towards her on the snow.  She stared at the ground as she saw two familiar black boots stop in front of her.  Without saying a word, he took off his warm jacket and put it over Meghan's tiny shoulders.  Then, he knelt and took her icy fingers in his, trying to massage some warmth into them.  

Against her own will, Meghan felt her spirits lift at Brady's gentle ministrations.  At least one person on earth still cared about her.  "Thanks, Brady," she said softly, pulling her hands away and wrapping herself more securely in his gigantic coat.

Brady smiled at her.  "It's a little cold to sulk outside, don't you think?  If you feel like coming inside with me. I'm pretty sure I could make us some hot chocolate.  I promise you can feel just as sorry for yourself in there."  He found it somewhat amusing that he would have used similar methods to cheer up Chloe.  The resemblance between their personalities was uncanny.

Meghan gave him a penetrating stare.  Brady endured her inspection without flinching.  Finally, she asked seriously, "With marshmallows?"  

"If we don't have them in the kitchen, I'll have them flown in from the farthest corners of the earth," he swore solemnly, only the light in his eye giving him away.  

Meghan's mouth twitched, but she refused to smile.  "And whipped cream?" she demanded.

"And a cherry on top," Brady promised.  He stood up straight and extended his hand to her.  "Coming?"

Meghan hesitated only a moment before slipping her small, soft hand into his.  She felt it enclosed safely in his big palm and for a split second she was reminded piercingly of her father.  But it didn't do any good to get too attached.  Like everyone else in her life, Brady was sure to leave sooner or later.  He had probably just felt sorry for her when he saw her sitting in the snow all alone.  He didn't truly care, any more than the others did.

Brady had been terrified when he spotted Meghan sitting in that swing.  Something about the look on her face had stricken him to the heart.  She was depressed and desperate and completely uncaring whether she lived or died.  She had reminded him of Chloe.  She had reminded him of himself.  He had known immediately that she needed him.  He wondered why she was there in the first place.  Wasn't Chloe still here?  Her car was in the parking lot.  Why wasn't Meghan with her?  He knew the only way he was going to get his answers was the way he would have gotten them from Chloe, with a lot of patience and a little distractive bribery.  

Brady and Meghan walked inside and to the kitchen, neither feeling the need for conversation.  Brady raided the cupboards and the refrigerator and proceeded to make the two greatest mugs of hot chocolate in recorded history.  Or at least that's what he told Meghan as he set down one cup of cinnamon-flavored cocoa, topped with marshmallows, and overflowing with whipped cream and chocolate flakes.  It even had the promised cherry on top.  

Meghan giggled.  "I think you've done this before."  She picked up her spoon and contemplated the best way to begin devouring the masterpiece.  Her problems, while not forgotten, seemed suddenly less important when she was face-to-face with a person who cared about her—or was at least making a pretty good show of it—and a mug of steaming hot, chocolatey goodness.  

Brady grinned and shrugged.  "I had a little sister with a sweet tooth, and a lot of crises to discuss.  See, that's the deal.  Drink the cocoa, and spill your guts."  He spoke lightly, careful not to put too much pressure on her.  She'd open up to him eventually, just as Chloe would have, just as Belle would have.

Meghan wanted to be annoyed with him, but couldn't be.  Brady was just too nice.  And he did make unbelievable hot chocolate.  She sipped and spooned her drink for a while in silence.  Brady did the same, watching her intently.  "Did you know Chloe's moving?" she asked finally.

So that was it.  He had known Meghan would take it hard.  He had just assumed that Chloe would have told her a long time ago.  "Yeah, I did.  Is that what has you so upset?"

"Yes," she replied.  She took a sip of her cocoa and frowned.  "No.  Partly.  There's more."  Brady waited patiently as she took a large swallow.  "See, she's not the only one."

"The only one what?" asked Brady, failing to follow Meghan's train of thought.

"Moving," answered Meghan a little impatiently.  "Steve and Maria are to.  To Florida.  In a few days."  She stirred her chocolate restlessly.  Her whole life was falling apart, and no one seemed to care.  Everyone she grew attached to, left her.  

Brady felt sudden pity and worry for the little girl in front of him.  "Are they taking you with them?" he asked, as calmly as he could.  Better to have all the facts, before he started overreacting.

Meghan sighed.  "They wanted to.  But there are all these rules in the foster care program that made it impossible.  And I don't think I helped very much.  When Mrs. Grey, my social worker, asked me about it, I said I didn't want to move.  But that was before I found out Chloe was moving.  So now, I'm losing both Chloe and my foster family.  Steve and Maria are leaving at the end of the week; and who knows what hellhole they'll stick me in next."  
  


Brady watched her with a growing feeling of dread.  What would happen to Meghan without Chloe to look out for her? What would Chloe do without Meghan?  And what would he do without both of them?  He thought about how Meghan would cope with the foster care system.  Would they ruin her as they had ruined Chloe?  Would she grow up afraid to believe in love, afraid to believe in herself?  He hated to think of sweet little Meghan ending up as emotionally scarred as Chloe was.  And he was filled with a sudden resolve.  He'd been too late to help Chloe, but there was still time to save Meghan.

Meghan watched the emotions playing across Brady's face.  What was he thinking about?  Was he angry with her for what she'd said?  Had she sounded like a whiny, selfish brat?  "I'm sorry Brady," she said quietly, as his silence dragged on.  "It's no big deal.  I can handle it."

Brady instantly came out of his reverie.  Looking across at Meghan, he noticed a bit of whipped cream on the tip of her nose.  He grinned and wiped it off with his napkin.  "Don't be sorry, Meghan," he instructed her gently.  "I'm sorry if I made you think that I was mad at you.  I'm not.  I just get quiet when I'm thinking.  And I was trying to think of some way to help you."

Meghan's eyes widened.  Brady actually wanted to help her, take care of her.  Of course, so had Chloe; and now Chloe was going away.  Experience had taught Meghan not to depend on anyone but herself.  It was only a matter of time before Brady bailed on her too.  "Thanks for the thought, Brady," she said coldly.  "But I can manage it on my own.  I've done pretty well so far.  Thanks for the hot chocolate."  She grabbed her bag, intent on another quick exit.

"Wait a sec, Meghan."  Brady reached a hand out to block her path.  He couldn't stand to see her doing the same things Chloe had done.  When people hurt her, disappointed her, she just shut down.  He'd be damned before he let that happen to Meghan.  Meghan was his hope now.  

"What for?" she returned.  She had wanted to sound defiant and hated the tremor in her voice that made her seem like a scared, hurting little girl.  She should be past that by now.  She should be able to get by on her own.  So why did she want to still have someone to lean on and hold onto?

"For this," Brady said softly.  He gathered the child into his arms and hugged her close to his heart.  Meghan tensed for only a moment, before she allowed herself to relax into Brady's comforting arms.  She closed her eyes and let him rock her back and forth like a little baby.  It had been so long since she'd felt so protected.  Not since her parents had died.  She needed to be protected, if only for a moment.  

Brady stroked her golden hair, feeling more than his usual affection for the children here.  He felt the same responsibility towards Meghan that he did towards Belle and Isaac, maybe even more so.  They needed each other.  They were both losing the person they loved most in the world.  No one else would understand their pain, except the other.  "I won't promise you anything, Meghan," he breathed into her hair.  "I don't want to become just another adult who's disappointed you.  I know you've had too much of that in your life.  But I'm going to do my best to look out for you."

Meghan pulled her face away from him, tears brimming in her deep brown eyes.  "Do you mean that, Brady?"

Brady nodded solemnly.  "I'm going to take care of you, Meghan.  Okay?"  A plan was already coming to fruition in his mind.  He wouldn't tell her yet of course, not until he was sure it would work.  But he was well aware of the influence money and power could buy.  He would use all of his to make this happen.  He needed it to work.  For Meghan's safety.  For his own sanity.  They needed each other.  

"Okay, Brady," she agreed, leaning back into his hug.  She wanted to believe him.  She wanted so desperately to have someone who would take care of her the way her parents had done.  She had thought Chloe would do that for her, but Chloe was leaving.  Chloe couldn't even help herself, let alone Meghan.  But Brady would try.  Brady would try and take care of her.  

Brady put her away from him gently, holding her arms and locking gazes with her.  He smiled reassuringly at her.  "Now, all I want you to worry about is having a good Christmas.  And who knows?  Maybe if we're both very good, we'll get everything we've been wishing for."  He doubted it.  He didn't think even St. Nick could fit Chloe into his stocking; but still, there was another dream that might come true for them this Christmas.  A Christmas miracle…Now that was something to look forward to.  


	16. Chapter Sixteen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Sixteen**

The task of forming a children's choir from scratch seemed easy compared to this.  Trying to keep a rein on forty adrenalin and sugar-charged children for the twenty minutes before the concert was scheduled to begin was a near-impossible task.  Chloe was grateful for Penny's assistance; but still, the only word that came to Chloe's mind as she surveyed the scene was "bedlam."  

Still, Chloe couldn't help but smile wistfully as her gaze moved from child to child.  She'd never seen them so clean and pressed before.  Even the poorest among them had made an attempt to dress up for the occasion.  She wondered how the children would react if she came to each one in turn and squeezed them so tight they couldn't breathe.  Each small, young face held a special place in her heart.  Especially Meghan.  But as Chloe looked around, Meghan was nowhere to be seen.

_No, this can't be happening, Chloe thought, making her way to every corner of the room.  Surely, Meghan wouldn't miss the concert just because she was upset with Chloe?  She spotted Penny reprimanding a couple of boys for nabbing the cookies meant for after the concert.  "Penny, have you seen Meghan?"_

Penelope paused for only the slightest moment before going to separate two girls for fighting.  "I think I saw her earlier.  She was with Greta."  She kept walking, looking increasingly harried.

Chloe breathed a sigh of relief.  At least, Meghan was here.   But where were they?  She didn't have a chance to worry about it though.  She had to get the children lined up and quiet for their entrance.  She didn't think she was having much success though.  They lined up with continual shoving and whining.  And a herd of stampeding elephants would have been quieter.

Suddenly, absolute silence descended on the children.  Chloe looked at them, astonished.  They were smiling at something over her shoulder.  Turning around, Chloe saw Brady in the doorway, finger to his lips.  She felt a momentary surge of annoyance.  Of course, they would mind Brady.  Why not her?  But her anger was immediately replaced by relief.  The children were being angels now.  She smiled gratefully at him.  "Thanks."

Brady nodded, smiling back.  "So kids, are you ready to sing?" he asked the group of smiling children.

"Not yet," piped up a well-loved voice from the back of the crowd.  Chloe glanced at Meghan in confusion.  When had she got here?  What was going on?  The kids parted to let Meghan through, all with enormous grins on their faces.  Meghan clutched an enormous book to her chest.  The other children started giggling, whispering, and poking each other.  Meghan walked up to Chloe and extended the book to her.  "A going away present, from all of us.  It's so you won't forget us."

Dumbstruck, Chloe took the scrapbook and opened it.  On each page was the photograph of another child in her choir, along with a picture they had drawn and a special note to her.  She read through some of them.

_"Thank you, Chloe.  You make music so much fun…."_

_"…You don't care if we can't sing as good as you…."_

_"…I want to be as pretty as you when I grow up…."_

_"…I like to listen to you sing.  You sound like an angel, and you look like one, too…."_

_"…I'm sorry you're moving.  You were really cool…."_

_"…When I grow up, I'm going to be a music teacher…."_

_"You made me feel that I was special just for being me.  You liked me as much as my brothers.  I'll miss you."  That was from Brittany._

_"I'll never forget making pies and cookies with you.  I'll never forget anything I did with you.  You let me cry on your shoulder and stay in your house.  You made me feel loved again.  I'll miss you so much.  Your little sister, forever and always, Meghan.  P.S.  I'm sorry I ran away the other day.  I know it's not your fault."_

Chloe's eyes overflowed with tears.  She looked into forty childish faces, brimming with hope and love.  "Thank you," she choked out.  "It's the best gift I've ever gotten."  The kids beamed at her.  "And none of you are escaping tonight without a hug."  She drew Meghan to her side, bent low, and whispered, "I love you."

Meghan couldn't say anything, but her eyes spoke for her.  She nodded once and pulled away.  "You've still got another present."  She looked beyond Chloe.

"There's more?" Chloe exclaimed and turned to see Greta holding a small, wrapped package.  Greta handed it to her, a soft smile flickering around her mouth.  "You didn't have to."

"Actually, I didn't, exactly," said Greta, wrinkling her nose.  "It's from many people who love you.  We each picked out a piece of it."

Intrigued, Chloe tore open the wrapping paper.  She opened the velvet case and saw a delicate silver charm bracelet.  She fingered each piece in turn.  A coffee mug baring Greta's mark made her smile.  Coffee did seem to be the common denominator in most of their visits.  The figure of a small child was from Penny, who smiled bashfully at her.  A music note, labeled as from "The Children."  She felt tears begin to prick her eyes and blinked them away.  No use smudging her makeup right before the concert.  A bottle of nail polish from Belle made her laugh.  What a Belle gift!  And it made her feel loved to know that they had contacted Belle all the way in Africa.

The piano was engraved with Meghan's name.  She cast her a loving smile.  She picked up the next piece and didn't even need to see the name to know who had picked out that charm.  The gazebo.  She held it lovingly between her fingers, unable to look up at Brady, unwilling for him to see the tears that were now streaming down her face.  Didn't his love have any limits?  Hadn't she managed to destroy it yet?  Finally, she forced herself to look at the last charm.  "A house?" she asked, confused.

"A home," Brady replied confidently.  Chloe looked up at him; and their eyes locked, his encouraging, hers questioning.  Did she really want to know who was offering her a home?  She flipped the charm over and inhaled sharply at the engraving.

"Thank you all so much," she said quickly, fastening the bracelet to her wrist.  "Now, we'd better go."  She ignored Brady's penetrating stare as she herded the children onto the stage.  

~~*~~

Chloe had known they would be there the moment she had seen the names on that charm.  It hadn't taken her long to spot them in the audience, but she ignored them.  She made herself block them out as she led the choir.  She couldn't let herself think of them, or she would lose it then and there.  After the concert was over, she was waylaid by almost every parent there, thanking her for her efforts with the children.  And she made it a point to say goodbye to every single child.  

Maybe they'd take the hint and just go away.  No such luck.  She could feel their eyes on her as she talked with everyone else.  They didn't make any attempt to approach her, just sat there, staring at her.  Chloe was determined that she wasn't going to give in.  While all she wanted to do was throw herself in their arms, she kept reminding herself that they were the ones who had turned away from her.  And no stupid little charm on a bracelet was going to change that.

After saying goodbye to Bryce and his family, Chloe noticed them coming towards her.  She braced herself.  She wasn't going to let them see her weakness.  If they insisted on doing this, it would be on Chloe's terms.  For the first time all evening, she allowed herself to look them in the eyes.  She stared them down coldly, forcing herself to recall Henderson's words.

Nancy approached her daughter almost timidly.  What if Chloe was unforgiving?  What if she refused to let them make things right?  "You were wonderful with those children, Chloe," she complimented her, in an almost pleading manner.

Chloe didn't respond.  She just let her gaze shift from Nancy to Craig and back again.  "If you want to make a donation to the Children's Center, you should talk to Princess von Hamburg."  She made her voice sound as distant as possible.  After all, Nancy didn't have a daughter, so she certainly didn't have a mother.

Great, large teardrops welled in Nancy's eyes.  Craig wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a reassuring squeeze.  They had known this wouldn't be easy.  "We'll be sure to talk to her later," Craig said calmly.  "We want to talk to you now."  His voice was soft, but firm; and Chloe was suddenly reminded of her days as a rebellious teenager.

"I don't see that there can be much to say after all this time," Chloe replied.  She had wanted to sound indifferent and aloof and hated the hurt and anger easily apparent in her voice.  She didn't want them to know how much it still stung.

"Please, Chloe," Nancy started again.  "You can't still hate me for some silly things I said five years ago."  She felt Craig's strong presence beside her, giving her courage.  

"Some silly things?" Chloe repeated incredulously.  "Do you even know how those words destroyed me?"  She was yelling now, all the bottled-up anger of years, finally finding release.  Surrounding people backed away and gave a wide berth to the trio.  

"What about you?" Nancy retorted, just as hotly.  "You didn't even have the decency to come back to the phone and talk it out.  No, you made your butler deliver your message for you."  Nancy could still hear Henderson's words ringing in her ears.  _"I'm sorry.  Mrs. Kiriakis says to say she has no mother."  Had ever words been more meant to stab the heart?  Had Chloe done it as some kind of twisted payback for being given up for adoption?  Because surely it hadn't been for those off-handed comments about Phillip.  Chloe didn't even love him herself.  _

Chloe drew back as though Nancy had struck her.  "What message?" she asked suspiciously.  "I didn't send you a message."  What game was Nancy playing?  She was trying to turn the whole thing around, when they both knew what had really happened.

Nancy's mouth hung open.  Was she lying?  Was Chloe still cold enough to treat her mother this way?  Or had signals gotten crossed somewhere?  Maybe they had been deprived of a relationship for the past five years on a simple misunderstanding.  

Before Nancy could speak, Craig interposed smoothly, "Just what was it, Chloe, that your mother said that made you cut off contact with her?"  His tone was surgically precise, giving no indication of the emotions and thoughts swirling inside him.  As always, Craig was the voice of reason between mother and daughter.

Chloe gave them both scathing glares.  "Well," she began caustically.  "I'm not positive, but I think it might have been when she relayed the news that she had no daughter.  That kind of cuts the lines of communication."  

Nancy blanched.  "What are you talking about, Chloe?  I never said any such thing!  You know very well it was the other way around.  You said you didn't have a mother."  

"What?" Chloe exclaimed harshly.  "Where the hell do you get off?  If this is your idea of a joke, trust me; I am not amused."  Nancy had some nerve!  How dare she try and rewrite history five years later!  Like Chloe couldn't remember every single moment of that day.

Craig stepped between them, raising his hands for silence.  "Okay.  Before you two both go off the deep end, I'd like to get some facts straight first.  Nancy, I know your side of the story.  Chloe, I'd like to hear yours."  He sounded clinically detached, knowing that they both needed him to be the rational one.

Chloe almost smiled.  The scene was almost eerily similar to ones in her late adolescence.  Her and Nancy at each other's throats, Craig trying to keep the peace.  But she forced herself to forget those times.  She had known what Nancy was then.  She had just allowed herself to forget it for a while.  But Nancy had shown her true self again, and Chloe wasn't about to forget it.  "It's very simple," she replied coldly.  "Nancy and I were having an argument.  I hung up because I needed to go check on…something.  And then, Henderson came in and told me that my mother had called back and said that unless I changed my mind about Phillip, I was dead to her.  Now, don't you think my anger is a little bit justified?"

"Craig," Nancy gasped.  She gripped her husband's arm for support.  The pieces were suddenly starting to fall into place for her.  Craig gave her a warning stare.  He didn't want Nancy to give too much away.  He wasn't the least bit surprised by Chloe's revelation.  He had suspected something like that.  And he had a pretty good idea who was behind it.  But he wasn't going to tell Chloe that.  Not yet.  He needed undeniable evidence.

"Chloe, sweetheart," Nancy said gently.  All she wanted to do was hold Chloe as tightly as humanly possible and never let go.  "I didn't say that.  I swear before God, I never said anything like that."

Chloe wanted to believe her.  She needed her mother back.  She wanted Nancy and Craig to hold her and tell her everything would be all right.  She wanted to be taken care of again.  But it was all just a little too convenient.  "Then why would Henderson say you had?" Chloe asked, her arms crossed.  "And why didn't you try to contact me in all these years, if what you say is true?"

"Because Henderson told me that you disowned me," Nancy defended earnestly.  "it's the truth.  I wouldn't lie to you."  She prayed silently for her daughter to believe her.  She had to, for her own good.

"Why would he lie like that?" breathed Chloe, starting to be convinced despite herself.  Nancy seemed so sincere.  And Craig was backing her up completely.  Could it be?  But she kept coming back to one thing.  Why would Henderson lie?

Nancy seemed ready to jump in with her suspicions, but Craig silenced her with a look.  "Chloe," he started slowly.  "I have an idea why.  And I think deep down, you do too.  But I want to prove it to you.  So, why don't you come home with Nancy and me?"  He rested his hands lightly on her shoulders.  Chloe had forgotten how much the fatherly gesture meant to her.  "You can stay with us while we look into it."

For a moment, Chloe almost gave in.  What if Phillip had been behind Henderson's lies?  But that didn't really change anything.  She had always known how desperate he was to hang onto her.  But that was exactly why she couldn't leave.  He'd kill himself and it would haunt her forever.  "I can't, Craig," she answered him sadly.  "Phillip's flying in tomorrow, and we're moving to L.A. after Christmas."  She couldn't believe she had actually been planning to move without even telling her parents.  Now, how would they ever have the time to mend their broken relationship?  
  


Nancy looked ready to press the issue further, but Craig shook his head.  They couldn't push her too far, too fast.  Nancy relented.  "But you believe me, right?  About not saying those awful things?" she asked hopefully.

Chloe gave Nancy a hesitant smile.  "Yes, Mom.  I believe you."  She felt as if she'd been released from a load she hadn't even realized she was carrying.  She had her family back.  She wasn't alone anymore.  

Nancy couldn't hold herself back any longer.  "Oh, sweetheart," she cried, throwing her arms around her daughter.  "I love you so much, Chloe."  Chloe leaned into her mother and began to sob, tears of relief, joy and misery intermingling.  Nancy felt her own eyes overflow with tears.  After so long, she had her baby back.

Chloe just let herself weep for countless minutes.  With all the tears she had shed over the past few months—the past several years, actually—it had never felt so healing and cathartic before.  Something about being in her mother's arms made her whole life seem not quite so unbearable.  Finally, she pulled away, wiping away the tears, and hoping her makeup hadn't smeared too much.  She smiled self-consciously.  "I'm sorry.  I've just missed you so much."

"Oh, sweetie," Nancy murmured, a hand to her daughter's cheek.  "You don't know how much I missed my baby.  I couldn't stay away when Brady told us about tonight."  

Chloe pulled back, her eyes widening in surprise.  "Brady?  What does he have to do with this?"  But she knew.  She remembered his reaction to the charm on her bracelet.  He hadn't been surprised.  He had known.  He had set this whole thing up.

Craig and Nancy exchanged guilty glances.  They hadn't meant to reveal that to their daughter, but Nancy's big mouth had gotten in the way.  Craig cleared his throat.  "Well, Chloe," he began hesitantly.  "We've been in contact with Brady over the past few months.  He told us about this concert."

"Among other things?" Chloe asked knowingly.  She could see it all so clearly.  Brady would have felt it was his duty to make things right or something.  Damn him!  Why did he always have to be her knight in shining armor?  Just when she thought he couldn't be more perfect….Just when she was finally sure he had given up on her….

"He cares about you, Chloe," Nancy said softly.  "He's just trying to look out for your best interests.  He thought you might need us."

Chloe just nodded, her thoughts too new and unexplored to be able to express them to anyone else just yet.  "Enough about Brady," she said to distract them.  "We have enough stuff of our own to catch up on.  Five years worth."

~~*~~

Meghan sat alone after the concert, watching the other children be enveloped in their parents' loving arms.  Every once in a while, someone would pass by her and say, "Great job."  But they always just passed by.  They had their own loved ones to see.  It was Christmas after all.  And everyone had someone, everyone but her.

Penny was scrambling as always, looking for lost mittens and misplaced jackets.  Greta was still in fundraising mode, chatting up some of the wealthier Salem citizens in attendance.  Chloe was talking in a corner with a couple Meghan didn't know.  And Brady seemed to have disappeared.  Even her temporary foster parents hadn't bothered to come.  They'd simply dropped her off and said they'd be back when it was over.

"You were wonderful tonight, Meghan.  It's good to see you playing again."

Meghan looked up, a smile brightening her previously glum features.  "Mrs. Grey!  I didn't know you were here tonight."  She liked her elderly social worker.  She seemed to really care about children and tried to keep "her ones," as she called her cases, out of the darker side of foster care.

"Are you kidding?  Four of my ones were performing tonight, including you.  I wouldn't have missed it for the world."  Mrs. Grey smiled at her in a grandmotherly way.  "Besides, I have a bit of business to take care of tonight.  Mind if I sit down?"

Meghan scooted over on the bench, glad to have at least one person who cared about her, even a little.  Mrs. Grey sat down and gave Meghan a penetrating look.  "What's the matter, Meghan?  You seem pretty down for a girl who just stole the show."

Meghan shrugged.  "I don't know.  A bit lonely, I guess," she mumbled.

"Do you not like your new foster parents?" Mrs. Grey asked.  It had been hell trying to find someone to take Meghan on such short notice, and over the holidays at that.  She didn't much care for the Holmans, the couple that had taken her in; but she hadn't had any other options.  Oh well, with any luck Meghan wouldn't be there for very much longer.

"They're okay," Meghan answered dispiritedly.  She didn't want to tell Mrs. Grey how much she hated it there.  Who knew?  She might get stuck someplace worse.  At least the Holmans remembered to feed her three times a day.  "I miss Steve and Maria though."

"Would you like to go live with them in Florida?" Mrs. Grey asked.  "It might take a lot of work; but I could call in a few favors, if it's what you really want."

Meghan considered it for a moment, before shaking her head.  "No.  I don't want to leave Salem.  Even with Steve and Maria gone, and Chloe going, I still have Greta and Penny and Brady."  Not that they appeared all that interested in her tonight.  

Mrs. Grey's eyes brightened momentarily, as they approached the heart of the matter.  "Do you like Brady, Meghan?"

Meghan nodded emphatically several times.  "Yeah.  He's great.  He…he reminds me of my dad a little bit.  And he said he's going to try and help me."  She didn't know how he could do that, especially since he wasn't even here; but it was still nice to know he wanted to.

Mrs. Grey smiled.  She'd been hoping Meghan would say something like that.  "So you want Brady to take care of you, Meghan?  You'd be happy with that?"

Meghan was suddenly suspicious.  What was Mrs. Grey hinting at?  As far as she knew, her social worker had never even met Brady.  "Yeah.  But why are you asking me all these questions?"

"Come with me, Meghan," she directed, ignoring Meghan's question entirely.  She stood up and pushed Meghan gently in front of her, until they came to a small room off the reception room.  Inside, Meghan saw Brady and two men in business suits she didn't recognize gathered around a table.  Brady smiled and winked reassuringly at her.

"She's ready," Mrs. Grey said cryptically, at least to Meghan's ears.  "You can ask her."

"I'm ready for what?" asked Meghan suspiciously.  "What do they want to ask me?  What's going on here?"  She didn't like the looks of the two other men in the room.  The one across the table was old and white-haired, and he looked at her through too large, brown eyes.  The one sitting next to Brady was thin and wore thick glasses over his beady eyes.  They reminded her of the people in the courtrooms every time she had to switch foster homes.

"Have a seat, Miss Fallon," said the older man on the other side of the table.  He gestured to two empty seats, and Mrs. Grey and Meghan sat down.  "Mr. Black, perhaps you would like to explain things to the young lady?"

Brady nodded and swiveled his chair to face Meghan.  "Meghan, do you remember when we were talking over hot chocolate and I said I'd try my best to take care of you?"  Meghan nodded blankly, still not seeing where this was going.  "Well, I already knew what I wanted to do.  But I didn't want to get your hopes up, in case things didn't work out.  Of course, you'd be surprised how easy it is to make things happen with connection in the right circles," he added cynically.  "Anyway, Meghan, this is my personal attorney, Mr. Lewis."  He indicated the thin man next to him.  "And this is Judge Campbell."  The man who had told Meghan to sit down nodded towards her.  "And if you like, they're here tonight to make you my daughter.  I want to adopt you."

Meghan sat in shock for a full minute, looking from face to face.  "Are you serious?" she breathed finally.  "You…you want to adopt me?"  She couldn't process this.  This wasn't really happening.  It was some sort of dream, just a wonderful dream.  And any moment now, she was going to wake up and be back in that small attic room at the Holmans.

Brady nodded, smiling awkwardly.  "Unless it's not what you want.  Because if you don't, we'll work out something else.  It's entirely up to you.  But I love you like a daughter already, Meghan; and I'd be so happy to have you come live with me."

A slow smile crept over Meghan's face.  She was wanted.  She was loved.  She could be part of a family again.  Without answering, she threw her arms around Brady's neck and sobbed.  Brady held her close and choked back tears of his own.  A family.  They would be a family.  Even without Chloe.

Judge Campbell cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "So, is that a yes then, Miss Fallon?"

Meghan pulled away, laughing and crying at once.  "Yes.  Yes, I want to be Brady's daughter," she said formally, as if her tone of voice would make it more believable.

The judge smiled.  "Then, let's make this official," he said, as Mr. Lewis pulled the adoption forms out of his briefcase.  "Let's make you Meghan Black."


	17. Chapter Seventeen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Seventeen**

"I don't want to go, Phillip.  Can't you just go without me?" Chloe begged.  Today had been wretched beyond words.  From the moment she had picked up Phillip at the airport, she had felt this overwhelming depression settle over her.  His presence was a black cloud on her soul.  Just being in the same room with him sapped her of any desire to live.  

The look of psychotic rage that Chloe knew so well came over Phillip's face.  "Why not, Chloe?  I've been gone for a whole month!  I come home, and it's like you never even missed me.  And now, you won't go out in public with me?  What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Fine," Chloe snapped.  She was sick of it.  She was tired of trying to defend her every action to him.  It's not like she wanted to miss Basic Black's Christmas party.  She had only been trying to spare them all unpleasant scenes.  "I'll go.  Happy now?"

Phillip's deranged expression gave way to the wounded puppy dog one.  "You don't have to snap at me," he sniffed.  "I was just asking a question."  

Chloe bit her lip to keep from crying out in frustration.  How could he do that?  He yelled at her.  She responded.  And somehow, he turned it around until he was the innocent victim.  She sighed in resignation.  "I'm sorry, Phillip.  I was rude.  Forgive me."  Her words lacked all heart, and she knew it.  She knew even Phillip sensed it.  

Phillip's eyes narrowed dangerously, but he shrugged it off.  "Whatever.  So you're coming, right?"  He had a sudden urge to show his wife off, to hold it over Brady's head.  For his entire marriage, Phillip had hidden Chloe away from those who had loved her, those she had loved.  But he had finally won.  He was taking her away, and there was nothing Brady or anyone else could do about it.  

Chloe nodded curtly.  Why did everything with Phillip have to be such a huge crisis?  She wondered if all marriages were this screwed up, or if it was just hers.  She wanted it to end.  She just wanted it all to be over.  She didn't think she could cope like this much longer.  The phone rang; a peasant distraction from Chloe's depressing thoughts.  "Hello?" she answered.

"Hello, sweetheart," Nancy's cheery voice greeted her.  

Chloe smiled, flopping back on the couch.  She felt suddenly much brighter.  Her mother was back in her life.  She could talk to Nancy again.  "Hey, Mom.  What's up?"  She noticed with secret delight the frightened, confused look that came over Phillip's face.

"Well, honey, I just can't let you leave without seeing you again.  Won't you please come here for Christmas dinner?  We'd love to have you…and Phillip, too, of course," Nancy added, with something akin to amusement.

Chloe bit her lip nervously, as she watched Phillip's expression steadily darken.  She knew even bringing up the subject would cause a virtual war to break out in her marriage.  But then, what didn't?  And some things were worth fighting for.  "Sure, Mom.  We'd love to come.  What time?"  Phillip's jaw clenched, and his eyes glittered dangerously.

"About two?" Nancy suggested, smiling and nodding at Craig to let him know it was a go.  Craig crossed his arms and smiled smugly.  This just might work.  At any rate, it was worth a try.

"Great!" Chloe replied excitedly, not allowing her coming confrontation with Phillip to diminish her joy at her restored relationship with her parents.  "We'll be there.  Is there anything you'd like me to bring?"

"No, no, everything will be right here waiting for you," Nancy replied mysteriously.  Chloe wondered fleetingly what her mother was up to, but pushed it aside.  It was Christmas after all.  Maybe she had some sort of present waiting for her.  "I'll let you go now, sweetheart."

"Okay.  Bye, Mom.  Oh, and Mom…"  Chloe's voice trailed off, her throat feeling suddenly choked.  

"Yes, sweetheart?" Nancy asked, her eyes widening in fear.  Had that wretched man done something more to hurt her daughter?

"I…I love you," Chloe breathed, grateful to be able to say those words again, so thankful for her mother's love.  She completed ignored Phillip's simmering rage.  

Nancy raised a hand to her trembling heart.  Her eyes filled with tears.  "Oh Chloe, I love you so much, sweetheart.  I'm so glad you're finally back in my life."  

"Yeah.  Me, too," Chloe returned awkwardly.  "Bye, Mom."

"Goodbye, sweetheart."

Chloe hung up the phone, still letting her hand rest on it, a faint smile on her lips.  Phillip's voice came as an unwelcome intrusion to her reverie.  "What the hell was that about?" he bit out.  What had happened while he was gone?  A knot of fear had formed in his stomach.  Had Chloe somehow found out the truth?  Was that what was making her act so cold to him?

Chloe faced him, her expression determined.  "That was my mother."  There was no way in hell he was going to make her feel guilty about this.  This was her mother after all, not Brady, not some old friend or boyfriend.  She had a right to this relationship.  She had the right to a mother's love.  

Phillip rolled his eyes.  "I got that much.  Why was she calling?  And since when do you talk to her anyway?"  His tone was laced with derision.  It was a good cover for his panic.  He should have known better than to leave her alone in Salem for so long.  Of course, that Wesley bitch and her husband would have used the time to turn his wife against him.  They had always been traitors, always been on Brady's side.  That was why they had to be cut out of Chloe's life in the first place.

"Since now," Chloe shot back, unintimidated.  "And she called to invite us over for Christmas."  She crossed her arms, preparing for the predictable outburst.  She was ready to fight this one out for as long as she needed to, but she was going to have Christmas with her parents.  What Phillip did was entirely up to him.

"And you said yes?" Phillip exploded.  "After all that bitch did to keep us apart?  She did everything short of hauling you out of the church on our wedding day."

Chloe was quivering with rage.  "Don't you ever speak about my mother that way," she ordered, in a deceptively calm voice.  She was merely seconds away from tearing his heart out.  She thought once again of the role Henderson supposedly played in keeping her and her mother apart.  Was it possible Phillip was behind it?  

"Why not?" Phillip retorted with a derisive snort.  "She never liked me, never made a secret of it.  She said I was all wrong for you.  She sabotaged our relationship every chance she got.  I haven't forgotten how hard she tried to keep you from marrying me."  His eyes narrowed to slits.  They had been in some grand conspiracy with Brady.  He knew it.  Brady was behind it all.

"Yes, Phillip, I can't imagine why she wouldn't have wanted me to marry you," Chloe returned with biting sarcasm.  She didn't care at that particular moment about guarding Phillip's feelings.  He obviously didn't give a damn about hers, or he would be happy for her, instead of turning on her mother.

A genuinely wounded expression appeared on Phillip's face.  "You wish you'd never married me?" he whimpered.  No, this couldn't be.  Chloe loved him.  She had to.  This was the destructive influence of his time away.  That demon child and her bitch of a mother had messed with her mind.  They had filled her head with lies and doubts.

Chloe took a deep breath to calm herself.  How could she tell him the truth?  He'd completely lose what was left of his sanity.  He'd finally be pushed over the edge.  But she couldn't make herself lie to him either.  "Why regret what you can't change?" she said quietly.

Phillip's whole body seemed to collapse into waves of misery.  Instantly regretting her harsh words, Chloe placed a tentative hand on his arm.  He jerked away, his eyes lighting with fire.  "Don't touch me!" he ordered petulantly.  "Don't you dare!"  He turned and fled the room.

Chloe sighed as she heard a door slam upstairs.  Should she follow him?  She didn't think he was really ready to do any harm to himself.  He just wanted her sympathy, her pity.  He wanted her to go and beg for forgiveness.  Well, he could wait forever as far as she was concerned.  She wasn't in the mood to coax him out of his hissy fit.  Not after all the things he had said about her mother.  Shaking her head, Chloe grabbed a box and started the last of the packing.  

~~*~~

Chloe would never understand how he did it.  Just a few scant hours after locking himself in his room and having a temper tantrum to rival any two year old, Phillip managed to appear smiling and cheerful in front of the staff of Basic Black.  More than that, he appeared for all of Salem to see as the caring, attentive husband.  She loathed him for it.  He wanted people to see him that way.  He wanted people to look at him and saw what a great guy and a loving husband he was.  One more tool of manipulation.  One more way to let Chloe know that she was absolutely worthless.

Brady watched them from across the room as they mingled with the other guests.  It was the first time since he had taken over Titan and Chloe had come back into his life that he had seen them together.  From all outward appearances, they could pass for a happy couple.  Chloe looked absolutely stunning in her golden dress, a goddess returned to earth to walk among the mortals.  

Phillip kept his arm clasped firmly around her waist as he maneuvered her through the crowd.  Uncle Phil couldn't have been more arrogant, Brady observed.  He was showing off, using Chloe as some sort of trophy to prove his worth, without a clue how much Chloe was truly worth.  He didn't know who she was, didn't even care.  All he cared about was that she looked good on his arm, that people envied him something again.  His shattered ego was picking up points from the attention.

And Brady noticed, though he was sure no one else did, that Chloe didn't seem at all pleased about it.  There was a certain impatient annoyance in her expression which Brady would have found amusing if he didn't know how deep her pain really went.  He suddenly had the urge to cross the room and choke the life out of his bastard uncle.  Really, who would miss him?  

It didn't take Chloe long to spot the two people she most wanted to avoid.  Nicole Walker was at the opposite end of the room from her, blatantly flirting with several surrounding men in a barely-there white dress.  No matter what Brady said about his relationship with Nicole, Chloe would never be able to speak a kind word to that slut.  Nicole looked up at her just then and raise her champagne flute in mock salute.

Chloe abruptly turned away and immediately locked gazes with _him.  Her heart rate began its mad climb, and no amount of deep breaths was going to slow it down.  She knew she needed to stay away from him tonight.  Phillip would pick up on the chemistry between them and cause a wretched scene.  Brady seemed to know it, too.  At any rate, he wasn't making any attempt to approach her.  He just kept his blue eyes locked on her, taking in her every movement.  Chloe felt the fire of his gaze to her very soul._

"Chloe?"

"Huh?  What?" she asked, whirling back to her husband's side and trying not to blush guiltily.  

Phillip gave her a searching look and then looked beyond her to where her gaze had been.  No one was there now, but he had a pretty good idea who had been just a moment ago.  Damn Brady.  Well, tonight was one night Phillip was going to come away the winner.  Chloe had come in with him and would leave with him.  And Brady would never even know about Chloe's surviving feelings for him.  All he would see would be the happily married Mr. and Mrs. Kiriakis.  Phillip smirked, knowing that he had secured the biggest prize of all in his battle with Brady.  Phillip had won, and Brady had lost.

Chloe didn't like the self-satisfied gleam in Phillip's eye.  It was actually frightening her.  She needed to get away from him, if only for a few minutes.  "Phillip, I'm going to go freshen up.  I'll be right back."

"Hurry back, darling," he said, loudly enough for surrounding people to hear.  Seeing Brady over Chloe's shoulder watching them, Phillip leaned in and kissed his wife possessively on the mouth before letting her go.

Chloe headed for the ladies' room, wiping her mouth with the nauseated feeling she always got when Phillip kissed her.  She knew why he had done it of course.  He was showing off, putting her on display.  God, would this night never end?  She slipped into the bathroom and did a pointless touchup on her makeup and hair.  Chloe was just turning to leave again when that woman came in.

Nicole gave Chloe a very fake smile as she let the door slam behind her.  "Why, Mrs. Kiriakis, I didn't expect to see you here tonight," she said smoothly.  

Chloe eyed her suspiciously.  There was something in Nicole's voice that put her on edge.  "Why wouldn't I be here?  My husband works here after all," she replied, with quiet wariness.

Nicole shrugged her bony shoulders.  "I just didn't think you were quite this brazen, Chloe," she responded carelessly, breezing past Chloe and pretending to check her hair in the mirror.  She was really watching Chloe's reaction behind her.  She was baiting her and enjoying every minute of it.

Chloe knew she was being set up, but couldn't seem to stop herself from falling into the trap.  "Excuse me?" she shot out, seeing Nicole's smug reflection in the mirror.  Would people really blame in her if she ripped the skin off that whore's face?

"It's obvious, isn't it?" said Nicole, with a practiced careless indifference.  "Being in the same room with your husband and your lover—oh, excuse me, former lover—at the same time takes a kind of audacity I didn't think even you were capable of.  But now I know better.  I won't underestimate your nerve ever again.  You're so completely ice-cold it doesn't even bother you, does it?  Maybe you're even getting some kind of perverse enjoyment from this situation."

Chloe couldn't believe what she was hearing.  Nicole Walker, the most notorious tramp in Salem, was standing in judgment of her, looking down on her.  Chloe glared at her in mortified disgust.  "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Chloe returned haughtily.  "You don't know anything about me or my life; so kindly keep your over-large mouth shut."

Nicole turned around then, her eyes narrowed to slits.  "You're right.  I don't know you.  But I do know this," she hissed.  "A bitch like you doesn't deserve a man like Brady and never could."

Chloe felt her back stiffen.  Her fists clenched, fingernails digging into her skin.  Maybe not.  Maybe Nicole was right; but if Chloe didn't deserve him, Nicole most certainly didn't.  "I really don't think you're one to talk, Nicole," she said icily.  "Everyone knows you're nothing but a whore.  And the only reason you hate me is because you know Brady loves me; and he's never going to fall for a slut like you."

Everything in Nicole yearned to tear Chloe's eyes out, but she held back.  All she needed was for Chloe to run to Brady, playing the innocent victim, working on his sympathies, and winning him back.  "You think Brady loves you?" Nicole taunted her instead.  "Please!  He just pities you.  You know Brady.  He's a protector, a hero.  But he doesn't love you.  Who could?  What is there to love about you?"

Chloe smiled bitterly.  "Nothing.  There's nothing lovable about me.  But there never has been, and Brady's always love me.  He loves me still.  You see, Nicole, I know Brady too well to listen to any of your lies.  But don't worry.  I'm leaving in three days, and then Brady will be free as a bird."  Chloe's eyes widened in mock realization.  "But then, he always has been.  And yet, somehow, he still hasn't succumbed to your charms, has he?  Could it be that he sees you for the tramp that you really are?"  Totally unflustered, Chloe turned and left a seething Nicole behind her.

Much to her surprise, Chloe felt much more light-hearted after her confrontation with Nicole.  There was something so satisfying about putting that bitch in her place.  She smiled to herself as she made her way back through the crowd.  But as she was waiting for a large cluster of people to move, Chloe caught a familiar voice.  Looking around, she observed John Black talking to his son.  They couldn't see her due to the crowd.  Unwilling to approach them, and unable to get away, Chloe found herself eavesdropping, if only to hear the rich tones of Brady's voice.

"So, Son, where is your young lady tonight?" John asked.  Chloe's heart stopped.  What the hell?

"She's with Greta at our apartment, getting all her stuff set up," Brady answered.  Chloe could hear the excitement bubbling from his voice.  He seemed so happy about this.  "I took her shopping this afternoon.  You should have seen her, Dad.  She was so excited about every little thing I got her.  I felt like Father Christmas."

John chuckled and slapped his son on the back.  "You're going to spoil her rotten."

Brady shook his head emphatically.  "Not possible.  Wait until you really get to know her, Dad.  She's…she's just perfect.  Smart, and funny, and talented; and she has this quality that reaches out and just makes you love her."

"I'm sure I will, Son," John replied, his hand resting proudly on Brady's shoulder.  "You're bringing her home to meet the family tomorrow, right?  After all, we want to officially welcome her to the Black family."

Brady laughed.  "Yes, Dad.  Marlena's already called up about fifty times asking everything from her favorite food to what she wants for Christmas.  She's also demanded we show up on Christmas morning.  Threw a Belle-sized fit at the mere mention of us not showing up."  John and Brady laughed long-sufferingly.

Chloe couldn't listen to any more.  Her legs were giving out under her.  She felt like she was going to be sick.  She made her way to a nearby chair and sank into it gratefully.  This was all some horrible dream.  Any moment now she'd wake up.  But no, it was all too real.  Brady, her Brady, the Brady who just a few short weeks ago had sworn he would always love her, had a girlfriend.  A girlfriend who was moving in with him.  A girlfriend who was going to meet his parents.  A girlfriend whom he loved.

Nicole's words echoed in her brain.  _"He just pities you."  Was that it?  Had these last few months been nothing but Brady's attempts to save her?  Maybe he'd been in love with this other girl all along.  Maybe he'd been dating her for months.  But why wouldn't he have just told her?  Brady never lied to her.  No, she couldn't believe that.  She had to believe this was someone new.  After all, hadn't she released him?  Hadn't she told him to move on with his life?_

That was it.  This was just a rebound relationship.  Brady couldn't really care about this girl.  But Chloe knew he did.  She had seen the joy in his face, heard the love in his voice.  She knew she didn't have the right to be jealous, and truthfully, she wasn't jealous.  She was simply destroyed, purely and utterly destroyed.  She knew now that it was Brady's love that had been keeping her together, giving her a reason to keep going.  Now, there was nothing.

"There you are!" Phillip's slightly annoyed voice interrupted her thoughts.  "I thought you were going to the ladies room."

"I…um…" Chloe looked up at him, her face ashen.  "I did.  And then, I…I just needed to sit down for a minute."  She couldn't make herself function properly, couldn't find it in herself to pretend that she was all right, not with this piercing pain in her heart.  

Phillip's irritation was instantly forgotten in genuine concern for her welfare.  "Are you all right, Chloe?  You look sick.  Do you need a doctor?"  

Chloe could see the worry, the panic in his eyes.  Phillip truly did love her, in his own way.  Why couldn't that be enough?  Why couldn't she just let go of Brady and let herself love Phillip just a little in return?  But she couldn't.  She was as powerless to stop loving Brady as she was to stop breathing.  "I'm…I'm fine, Phillip.  Just a little tired," she said weakly, not needing to fake exhaustion.  She was weary to her very soul.  "Please, take me home."

"Of course, honey," he said, immediately helping her to her feet.  "Why don't you get your coat while I bring the car around?"  Chloe nodded her agreement; and Phillip ran off, delighting in the opportunity to show himself for all the world to see as the considerate, protective husband.

Chloe made her way slowly to the cloak room, not daring to meet anyone in the eye, afraid she'd be confronted by _him.  She was blind, unseeing, as she stood before the rows of coats.  What was she supposed to be doing again?  She felt numb, unable to comprehend anything around her.  She barely noticed as two hands reached out and grabbed a coat, didn't realize until it had been draped over her shoulders that it was hers.  "Thank you," she murmured, not even caring who had helped her._

"My pleasure."  The near whisper of his voice brought Chloe back to reality in an instant.  She whirled around, coming face to face with the man who had just unknowingly shattered her heart.  Was this how he had felt when she married Phillip?  "Leaving so soon?" he asked smoothly.

_Play it cool, a voice inside her head advised her.  She could at least make it out of here with her dignity intact.  "Yes," she squeaked out, mentally cursing herself.  She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and lower her voice.  "It was a lovely party, Brady.  Thank you."_

He raised his eyebrows at her formal, distant tone.  "Thank you for coming," he responded just as formally.  He searched her face.  She seemed so distraught.  Had Phillip done something more to hurt her?  He'd been trying to keep an eye out for her, but he had lost track of her when his dad had come over to talk to him about Meghan.  "Chloe, are you all right?"

Chloe forced herself to remember that it was pity and nothing more making him ask that question.  She had lost Brady.  He didn't love her any more.  He had finally moved on.  "Yes, Brady, I'm fine."  Seeing he wasn't satisfied, she added, "Just tired.  Phillip's going to take me home."

It had the desired effect.  Brady immediately drew back, emotionally as well as physically.  He had to let her live her life.  He had to live his own without her.  "Well, Merry Christmas, Chloe."

"Merry Christmas, Brady," she managed to choke out in return.  She saw a car pulling up.  "Well, that's Phillip.  I have to go."  Without waiting to hear him say goodbye, not sure she could handle it, Chloe sprinted out of the building to her husband.

Brady watched her go, the ache that had been forming in his heart since the moment he had seen her walk in with Phillip swelling until it burst inside of him.  She was miserable, lonely, and depressed; and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about.  He had tried his best, but he had failed.  He had already been given one Christmas miracle.  He supposed two was too much to ask for.


	18. Chapter Eighteen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Eighteen**

"So what's for dinner?" Phillip demanded, as soon as their gift exchanging was done.

"Whatever my mother is fixing," Chloe answered him irritably.  She hated Christmas mornings.  She never knew what to get for Phillip, never had any money unless she begged him for it, and honestly couldn't care less anyway.  Usually she ended up getting him clothes and that was it.  But Phillip seemed to think he could prove his love for her by how many things he got her or how much he spent on her.  Only problem was he didn't know her at all, and his gifts reflected that.  Had she ever once asked for a bread box?  Not to mention that he then tried to make her feel guilty about her own paltry gifts to him.

"I thought we decided we weren't going to your parents," Phillip said, and Chloe was unsure whether there was more anger or panic in his voice.  

Chloe graced him with a withering stare.  "I'm sure you did," she responded dryly.  "But I've been invited to my mother's for Christmas, and I'm going.  You're welcome to stay here if you like, but everything's been packed up for the move tomorrow, so I don't know what you'll eat.  Maybe order take-out."  She didn't care how unfeeling she sounded.  This was one Christmas she wasn't going to spend depressed and lonely while he vegged out in front of the couch.

Phillip's eyes widened.  This didn't sound like his wife.  This sounded suspiciously like the independent Chloe Lane he had spent so long trying to destroy.  That settled it.  There was no way she was going to the Wesleys without him.  She might never come back to him.  The Wesleys had obviously done a pretty good job of turning her against him while he was gone.  He sat up quickly.  "Fine," he growled.  "We'll go."

~~*~~

Nancy nervously readjusted the place settings for the twenty-second time.  It was the one thing she had some control over.  If she didn't concentrate on the little details, she'd go mad with the expectation and waiting.

"Great.  So we'll see you in an hour….Bye."  Craig hung up the phone and turned to his wife, a broad smile on his face.  "It's all set."

Nancy wrung her hands anxiously.  "I'm just so worried, Craig.  What if something goes wrong?  What if he's late, or Phillip takes her away early?  What if that bastard loses it when we confront him?"  She reached for the phone.  "We should call Brady."  

"Nancy," Craig said sharply, pulling her hand away from the receiver.  "We've been through this already.  This isn't about Chloe and Brady.  This is about Chloe and Phillip.  Having Brady here will just distract from the real issue."

Nancy sighed.  "I know, Craig.  I know you're right.  But I can't help wanting Brady here to—"

"To beat Phillip to a pulp when the truth comes out?" Craig asked, amused at the way Nancy's mind worked.  He put his arm around his wife's shoulders, and they walked out to the living room.

Nancy giggled girlishly, relieving some of the tension.  "I have to admit the thought did occur to me."

Craig laughed, wrapping his arms around her and giving her an affectionate squeeze.  "Well, don't you worry, honey.  If the opportunity arises, I'll do my best to make Phillip suffer.  Believe me, the way I'm feeling it wouldn't take much to set me off on him."

"I still don't know how I'm going to sit through a meal with him, pretending to be civil," Nancy remarked with a scowl.  "After what he's done to my little girl, I could snap his scrawny neck with my bare hands."

Craig tried to calm her down by massaging her shoulders.  "See?  We don't need Brady.  Nobody messes with Mama Wesley."  The doorbell rang.  Nancy started tramping off to answer it, but Craig pulled her back.  "Okay, Nance.  Take a deep breath, and calm down.  It's Christmas.  We're having our daughter and her husband over for dinner.  That's all.  Put the rest of it out of your mind for now."  

Nancy nodded reluctantly, and plastered a fake smile on her face as she opened the door.  "Chloe, sweetheart," she cried, immediately throwing her arms around her daughter.

Chloe hugged her back awkwardly, acutely aware of Phillip's eyes on her.  "Merry Christmas, Mom."  She felt once again how strange and wonderful it was to have her parents back in her life. 

"Merry Christmas," Nancy returned, trying to seem her usual bubbly self.  "Come on in.  You'll freeze out there."  She ushered her daughter into the house and took her jacket off, before finally turning to Phillip.  "Hello, Phillip.  Merry Christmas," she said icily.  Only the knowledge of what was to come kept her from kicking him out on his ass then and there.

"Hello, Mrs. Wesley," Phillip acknowledged her formally.  He watched Chloe hug Craig hello.  Craig's eyes never left Phillip's face.  He knew the Wesleys were up to something.  He just knew it.  Every instinct he had was telling him to turn around and pull Chloe out of that house forever.  But seeing the look on her face, he knew that there was no way he could manage it.  He nodded curtly to Craig.  "Dr. Wesley."

Craig smirked at him.  "Phillip," he returned, sizing him up.  Yes, it would be so easy to kill that son of a bitch.  Easy, but pointless.  Phillip would be better punished by being exposed for the worm he was.  

"Well, shall we go into dinner?" invited Nancy, more than a trace of nervous excitement in her manner.  

"Sure," said Chloe, with forced brightness.  She looked from face to face trying to understand the undertones in the room.  Even though she knew that her parents and Phillip never got along, there was something else increasing the tension in the air.  Nancy was practically bursting with agitation about something.  Craig was much more self-contained, but even he seemed to know something Chloe didn't.  And Phillip was watching them both with suspicion and something more than that…fear.

Nancy led the way into the dining room.  "Dinner will be just a moment.  Craig, would you pour drinks while I bring everything out?"  Without waiting for a reply, she breezed through to the kitchen.  She needed to get away from Phillip for a moment, or she would explode and ruin everything.

"Have a seat," Craig said cordially as he filled the glasses with ice.  Much to his surprise, he was enjoying this.  He could see Phillip's nerves already getting the better of him.  Torturing him was going to be too much fun.  "Chloe, what would you like to drink?"

"Water's fine, thanks," she said absently, pleased to discover how little the house had changed since she'd seen it last.  She was so intent on familiarizing herself with her surroundings that she didn't pay any attention to Craig and Phillip's strained conversation.

"How come there are five place settings?" Phillip asked nervously, breaking into Chloe's thoughts.  

Craig smiled, but Chloe thought she saw a hint of triumph in his eyes.  "Oh, that.  A friend will be joining us for dessert."

Nancy bustled in, carrying several dishes of food.  She chuckled.  "Yes.  A very dear friend."

Chloe felt a sudden knot in her gut.  Her parents wouldn't invite Brady, would they?  She needed a moment to gather herself together.  "Oh, Mom, let me help you," she offered, jumping to her feet.

"Thanks, sweetheart," Nancy said, smiling beatifically at her daughter.  "Could you go get the mashed potatoes and gravy, please?"

"Sure," Chloe volunteered, quickly disappearing into the kitchen.

Phillip watched her go before turning his spiteful gaze back to her parents.  "This friend.  Is it someone I know?" he asked warily.

Craig crossed his arms, smirking.  "We'll just have to see now.  Won't we?"  And in that moment, Phillip knew.  He had lost.  Whoever was coming through that door an hour from now would bring the end of all Phillip had schemed and plotted for so long.  And he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Dinner was, to say the least, a very awkward affair.  Only Chloe remained happily unaware as everyone else darted cagey glances towards the clock every few minutes.  Phillip practically inhaled his food, hoping against hope that he could get himself and his wife out of there before the mysterious visitor arrived.  But Nancy was just as determined that they stay and kept Chloe talking at a rate planned to keep her daughter's food on her plate.

And then, there it was.  The ring of the doorbell.  "I'll get it," Nancy trilled, and was off in a flash, practically skipping for joy.  Craig watched her go, his smirk ever larger.

Chloe saw her husband literally jump out of his seat, noticed for the first time the sheen of sweat on his forehead.  "Phillip, are you all right?" she asked with unfeigned concern.  "You don't look well."

"I don't feel very well," Phillip answered, mopping his brow.  He saw one last chance to get away.  "Maybe we should just go home, so I can rest."

"Oh, but you haven't visited with our guest yet," came Nancy's buoyant tones from the dining room entrance.  Phillip's head immediately pivoted around.  It was all Nancy could do to stop herself from laughing out loud at the look of utter terror on Phillip's face.

Chloe turned around also, her brows creasing in confusion.  "Henderson?  What are you doing here?  How do you know my parents?"  Then, realizing how rude and demanding she must have sounded, she quickly backtracked.  "I'm sorry.  Merry Christmas, Henderson.  How are you?"

Henderson smiled at her.  It suddenly occurred to Chloe that is was the first time she had ever seen him smile.  Of course, having to work for Phillip couldn't have been a very fun job.  "Merry Christmas, Mrs. Kiriakis," he said, with a touch of the old formality.  He glanced at Phillip, his gaze immediately faltering.  "Mr. Kiriakis."

"What are you doing here, Henderson?" Phillip bit out through clenched teeth.  "I thought you were in Vermont."

Henderson shifted nervously.  A glance as Craig seemed to give him courage.  He stood firm, his shoulders back, his head held high.  "Connecticut, actually.  I came back to visit my sister over the holidays however.  And Dr. Wesley made me an offer I couldn't refuse."

Phillip shot out of his chair so fast it tipped over.  "You son of a bitch!  How much is he paying you for this little 'accidental' meeting?"  Chloe's eyes widened in confusion.  What was going on here?  Nothing made sense at all.

"We haven't paid him a dime.  He's here of his own free will," Craig replied stoutly.  He patted Henderson on the back.  "Have a seat.  Would you like some gingerbread?"

Henderson sank gratefully into the chair, his attention focused anywhere but on the still fuming Kiriakis.  "Thank you.  I'd love some."

Nancy bustled around, distributing gingerbread and coffee to everyone while they pretended for a few minutes that everything was perfectly normal.  Even Phillip picked up his seat and sat down again.   If he was going to convince Chloe to believe him over Henderson, he couldn't fly off the handle like that.  Chloe watched them all with the irritating feeling of being the only one present in the dark.  She pretended to listen as Craig, Nancy and Henderson exchanged pleasantries about health, family, and the holidays.  When would they get to the point already?

Craig noticed that the small talk was frustrating Nancy and Chloe, but he could also see Phillip being pushed closer and closer to the edge as the tension mounted.  And that's what he wanted.  He wanted Phillip to be totally out of control in his rage.  It was the only way to trap him, with his own folly.  Finally, Craig decided the moment had come.  "So, Henderson, I explained why I wanted you to come here on the phone."  He immediately noticed Chloe's ears pricking up.

"Yes, Dr. Wesley," Henderson answered steadfastly, with only the smallest of guilty glances at Phillip.  "It had to do with a misunderstanding regarding a phone call between Mrs. Kiriakis and her mother."

So that was it.  Chloe finally thought she understood.  Her parents had brought Henderson here to tell her that Phillip had told him to lie.  Well, what difference did that make?  She had half-suspected it since she first heard her mother's side of the story.  But it still couldn't change what had to be.  If anything, it was yet one more proof of how deep his dependency on her ran.  Craig and Nancy were just trying to stir up trouble.  "I don't want to hear it," she announced suddenly, causing everyone's eyes to fall upon her.

"You don't want to hear what, sweetheart?" asked Nancy calmly, though shooting a death glare at Phillip's suddenly smug face.

"Whatever it is Henderson is going to say."  Chloe turned to Henderson with an apologetic smile.  "I'm afraid my parents brought you here under false pretenses.  You see, they're trying to make me leave my husband."  She avoided Phillip's gaze as she confessed that fact.

"With good reason," said Henderson coldly, unafraid to stare down Phillip.  It was past due for that little brat to get his comeuppance.  He had been forced to obey the every whim of that demented prick since he was a small child.  But he didn't work for him anymore, and it was time to clear his conscience.  

Chloe stiffened at Henderson's words.  Was he simply speaking of the phone call?  Or was there more to it?  Did she dare risk hearing it?  Any response she might have made, however, died on her lips as her arm was roughly seized and Phillip hauled her out of her chair.  "Come on.  We're leaving," he said harshly, yanking her towards the door.

Chloe was too shocked to do anything but submit.  Craig however, blocked Phillip's path in one swift motion.  "She's not going anywhere with you, Phillip," he said in a tenor that left no room for argument.  "Not before she hears the truth."

Craig's words brought Chloe back to her senses.  She pulled her arm free from Phillip's grip and glared harshly at them all.  "Would somebody please explain to me what is going on here?" she begged, not bothering to hide her confusion and frustration any longer.  "What do you all know that I don't?"

Nancy graced her daughter with a fond sympathetic look.  "That's why you're here, sweetheart.  To find out the truth.  Please, just sit down and hear Henderson out.  Then, if you still want to leave with Phillip, we won't stop you."  She gave Phillip an icy stare.  "Of course, once you know everything this filth has done, the only place you'll want to go with him is divorce court."

Phillip took hold of Chloe's elbow, gently turning her to face him.  "Don't listen to her, Chloe," he ordered, in a tone both commanding and pleading.  "They're up to the same old tricks.  They'd stoop to any level to come between us.  They're liars, Chloe."

Chloe searched his face and took in how his eyes refused to meet hers.  "How do you know what they're going to say if they're lying, Phillip?"  Without waiting for an answer, she turned back to Henderson, avoiding the faces of husband, father, and mother.  Henderson was the only one with no vested interest.  She locked eyes with him, seeing the direct way he met her gaze.  "Can I trust you to tell me the truth?"

Henderson nodded once, curtly.  "Yes, Mrs. Kiriakis.  I've wanted to tell you the truth for a long time.  You, more than anyone, have the right to know."

Chloe considered him for a moment longer, then nodded slowly, sinking back into her chair.  "Tell me then.  What is this secret everyone knows but me?  And what does it have to do with my life and my marriage?"

Henderson glanced once at Craig, who nodded encouragement, and then once at Phillip, who was exuding rage from every pore, before turning back to Chloe.  "Well, perhaps I should start with why I'm here.  After Titan fell on hard times and I was dismissed, I moved to New Hampshire and started a new position.  I would like to add that I no longer receive a penny from Mr. Kiriakis, am therefore not in his employ, and owe him nothing."

"Of course not," Phillip interrupted scathingly.  "Why should you owe the family you served for twenty years?  Who ever heard of servants being loyal and keeping their employer's secrets?"  

Henderson gave him a withering glance.  "I know enough Kiriakis secrets to fill the tabloids for years, but not one word will pass my lips of those.  But this time you crossed the line, Master Phillip.  And for nothing except you own selfishness and vanity."  He looked back at Chloe, his eyes softening.  "And here is an innocent who has suffered too much at your hands, from you lies.  I watched.  I watched everyday as she was at your bedside, all the while keeping her own misery bottled up inside.  Misery I helped cause."

He gazed mournfully at her.  "I'm so sorry.  I should have told you such a long time ago.  I should never have gone along with any of it in the first place.  Telling a mere girl, already so unhappy, that her own mother didn't want her."  He rested his head on his hand, unable to go on.

Chloe felt instant pity for the man in front of her.  She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.  "It's okay.  Really it is.  My mom and I are restored again.  And whatever Phillip told you to do it was only because he was so desperate at that time."  She glanced up at Phillip, hoping that he would be calmed by her defense of him, but he still looked murderous.  Chloe was suddenly grateful for Craig's eye plastered to Phillip, in case he tried anything.

Henderson raised his head, shaking it violently.  "No, you don't understand.  He was desperate, but not the way you think."  He looked back at Phillip who stood there, furious and afraid and unable to do a thing to stop it.  Henderson turned back to Chloe, the true victim of the situation.  "You have no idea what truly went on that night."

Chloe felt an icy feeling rush through her.  There was no need to ask what night Henderson meant.  She looked over at Phillip, seeing the violent fury in his eyes as he glared at Henderson.  "What really happened?" Chloe choked out hoarsely.  She knew the whole course of her life was going to change with what Henderson told her next.

Henderson looked beyond Chloe, as if he could see those events playing out before him.  "I heard you and Mr. Kiriakis fighting, so I waited outside, in case things got too out of hand.  I heard you rush out crying and slam the door behind you.  I never liked to be around Master Phillip in a temper, so I was starting to back away when Phillip burst out of the room, a deranged, crooked smile on his face…."

~~*~~

_"Did you hear what she said to me?"  Phillip demanded the moment he saw Henderson lurking in the shadows.  Henderson didn't reply.  There was a frenzied look on Phillip's face that scared him.  Phillip didn't wait for an answer anyway.  He stormed off towards the phone.  "She wants me to burn, does she?  Well, we'll see how much she likes being to blame."  He rummaged through the desk drawer.  "Damn it, Henderson!  Where's Kaiser's number?"_

_"Dr Kaiser, sir?" Henderson asked, confused.  Kaiser had been Victor's conspirator in some of his more underhanded dealings.  A doctor by degree; a villain by disposition. What would Phillip want with that?  "It's in your father's roll-a-dex."   _

_Phillip immediately grabbed the roll-a-dex and started flipping through it, finally tearing out a number and holding it up triumphantly.  He punched in the numbers, and a moment later barked out, "Kaiser?...This is Phillip Kiriakis.  How soon can you be at the mansion?...Great.  I've got a job for you.  And bring your medical bag."  He hung up, triumph on his face and turned once more to Henderson.  "She really thinks I'm nothing but a puppy dog to follow her around.  She'll learn who's really in charge tonight.  Oh, my darling wife will learn so much tonight."_

~~*~~

"Within minutes, Dr. Kaiser turned up," Henderson explained.  "And Mr. Kiriakis spilled out his whole plan.  Kaiser was going to bandage up his arms and stand by to give the medical diagnosis to you.  I was to call you and deliver the message.  I did.  To my everlasting shame, I went along with the whole plan, even relaying those phone messages the next day, under Phillip's instructions."

Chloe couldn't process it.  She glanced up to see Phillip glaring murderously at Henderson, and Craig and Nancy giving Phillip the evil eye.  "You mean he never tried to kill himself?" she breathed finally, unable to believe her ears.

Henderson shook his head, his eyes full of pity for her.  "No.  It was all a lie."

"But…but…" Chloe stammered, as she tried to wrap her mind around the enormity of Phillip's fraud.  "But what about the painkillers?  And the anti-depressants?  And the week away for plastic surgery?"

"The medication was nothing but placebos, sugar pills, to keep up the façade," Henderson supplied.  "He spent the week away in Las Vegas."

"Chloe, you can't actually believe this rubbish?" Phillip spat out.  "You're parents are behind this, I tell you.  They've paid him to lie about me."  His expression was pure panic.  He was backed into a corner, and he knew it.  "They're trying to sabotage our love!"  

Chloe looked at him, utter revulsion and loathing on her face.  "What love, Phillip?" she returned, not afraid of repercussions for the first time in her marriage.  "You see, I stayed with you out of fear and guilt, something you know full well.  Only, I guess I don't have that anymore."  She rose to her feet, approaching him menacingly, thrilling in the way he cowered from her anger.  

"In fact, why don't you go home right now, build a fire, and throw yourself in it?  Because I guarantee you no one will be there to pull you out, and I won't shed one single tear, guilt-inspired or otherwise.  How could you do that to me?  How?  I've had that hanging over my head every single day.  And you knew it.  And you just didn't care!  Or you did, and were just thrilled about it.  Did it give you a sense of power, Phillip?  Was that it?"

"What about me?" Phillip rounded on her.  "I've had to live my life with the constant fear that my wife will one day up and leave me for another man.  I've lived with the knowledge that you still pine over Brady.  Despite everything I've done for our love!"

Chloe knitted her brows in confusion.  Henderson and Nancy both looked shocked and bewildered at Phillip's outburst.  Craig did too for only a moment, before crossing his arms and asking softly, "What exactly did you do for your love, Phillip?"

Phillip turned to him, eyes blazing.  "Don't play that game with me!  I know this is all your fault.  You couldn't let us be, could you?"  Phillip was raving like a lunatic.  He had lost all semblance of rationality.  He couldn't have stopped ranting if he tried.  "No, you had to interfere in our lives, just when we were going to wipe the dust of this town from our feet.  But you don't understand.  No one understands.  Chloe is mine!  We belong together.  I couldn't let Brady tear us apart.  And I couldn't let that damn school tear us apart either!"

Deafening silence descended on the room.  Everyone simply stared at Phillip in disbelief.  Finally, Chloe spoke up in a voice filled with barely controlled fury.  "By 'that damn school' you mean Julliard, don't you, Phillip?  You kept me from getting in."

Phillip turned back to Chloe, a look of psychotic adoration on his face.  He smiled sheepishly at her.  "I told you.  I did everything for our love."


	19. Chapter Nineteen

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Nineteen**

"How did you do it?" Chloe asked with forced calm.  

Phillip appeared not to notice the deadly serious look on her face.  He was too immersed in his delusion of being a hero for saving their love.  "I bribed the admissions office.  It wasn't difficult."  He pouted in mock apology.  "I'm sorry you found out this way, Chloe.  I'm sorry you found out at all.  But don't worry.  You don't need to thank me."

"Thank you?" Chloe repeated in a deceptively soft tone.  She approached her husband slowly until she was standing only inches away from him.  "You want to know how grateful I am to you, Phillip?"  She raised her hand and in one smooth motion, punched him as hard as she could in the nose.  

It took Phillip a moment to recover.  He raised a hand to his nose and felt the sticky presence of blood.  "You ungrateful bitch!  You broke my nose!"  His fury returned full force, and he raised his fist to smack her.  But before he could, he was grabbed from behind by his father-in-law.

"Trust me," Craig growled, locking Phillip's arms behind his back.  "You do not want to do anything to give me an excuse to hurt you.  Because believe me, I won't stop until you're dead!"  There was something in Craig's tone that made Phillip unable to believe he was joking.  He ceased struggling.  "Now, I'm going to escort you home where I will pick up everything of Chloe's that she wants.  And tomorrow, you will move far, far away from here, and never bother my daughter again as long as you live.  Is that clear?"

Phillip ignored Craig and looked into the stony expression on Chloe's face.  He gave her what he thought was his most endearing pleading look.  "Chloe?  You don't really want me to go, do you?  I'm your husband.  You're my wife.  We can work past all this.  Your place is with me."

Chloe didn't react immediately.  Nancy opened her mouth, ready to intervene, but Craig shook his head at her.  Chloe had to be the one to tell Phillip goodbye.  They couldn't do it for her.  "Let him go, Craig," Chloe finally said calmly.

Craig obeyed, searching Chloe's face, trying to figure out what she was thinking.  Phillip shot an arrogant smirk Craig's way, before turning to Chloe with a dimpled smile.  "Chloe, darling, I love you so much.  I forgive you."  He stepped towards her, obviously intending to pull her into his arms.

Chloe lifted her hands up, stopping him where he stood.  "I don't forgive you," she said firmly and coldly.  She slipped the large diamond ring off her left hand, ring finger and held it out towards him.  "Here.  Take this with you.  Divorce papers should follow in a day or so.  I would advise you to simply sign them, Phillip, unless you want what's left of your family's reputation dragged through the mud."  

Phillip refused to take hold of the ring.  "You need some time to cool down and think things through.  I understand that," he said, with an infuriatingly patronizing tone.  "Once you've taken a week or so, you'll realize that everything I did was for the best."

"The best for you, maybe," Chloe retorted hotly.  "But the absolute worst for me."  Her voice broke suddenly.  "Do you understand that?  You ruined my life!  You took it upon yourself to make decisions no one had the right to make for me, but me.  You robbed me of everything I loved—music, my family, Brady.  More than that, you took away my sense of self-worth.  You made me feel like worse than nothing."  She grabbed his hand and dropped the ring into it, closing his fist around the it.  "There.  So ends this unholy excuse of a marriage.  It's finished, Phillip.  Forever finished."

That said, she turned to Craig, forever dismissing Phillip from her life.  Craig and Nancy both had incredibly self-satisfied expressions on their faces.  Chloe could hardly blame them.  "Craig, I don't want a damn thing from that house except one box.  It's a wooden box hidden among the kitchen boxes.  It's the one with the old-fashioned keyhole.  You'll know it when you see it."

Craig nodded.  "Sure, sweetheart."  He poked Phillip, who was staring at the ring in his hand in dumbfounded disbelief, sharply in the back.  "Come on, Kiriakis.  We're leaving.  Now."  Phillip shot daggers at him, but was apparently too defeated to make any more of a scene.  He trudged slowly out of the dining room, followed closely by Craig.

Nancy rushed to Chloe's side as soon as they had gone.  "Oh, Chloe, sweetheart, I'm so sorry.  And so happy.  I just don't know what to say."  She wrapped her arms around her daughter, pulled Chloe's head to her shoulder, and burst into tears.

Chloe barely responded to the embrace.  She was numb right now, too confused and overpowered for tears.  They would come later.  But right now she was too stunned to process anything at all.  She pried herself out of her mother's confining embrace.  "I think I need to be alone for a while," she said softly.

Nancy swallowed down the momentary feeling of wounded pride.  Chloe was the one who needed comfort and understanding now.  Her job was just to be there when Chloe needed her.  "Of course, sweetheart.  Why don't you go on up to your room?  It's still there, exactly as you left it."

Chloe felt a powerful surge of homecoming.  She would sleep tonight in her own home, in her own room, in her own bed; and not in that house of evil.  She fingered the home charm on her bracelet, and smiled at Nancy.  "Thanks, Mom."  She suddenly remembered the other person in this room to whom she owed so much.  Turning to Henderson, she flashed him a tired smile.  "Thank you so much, Henderson.  You set me free today."

Henderson squirmed uncomfortably under her praise.  "I should have told you a long time ago, miss.  It was partly my fault you were in that mess for so long.  Though I swear I never knew about Master Phillip bribing those officials."

Chloe waved his guilt away.  "There's no one to blame but Phillip, Henderson.  Now, please excuse me.  Merry Christmas."  She left the dining room, and slowly climbed the stairs to her room.  She took only a moment to see that everything was in its proper place before she sank onto the bed, too deadened to do anything but lay on her bed and stare at the walls.

~~*~~

"Chloe's done what?" Brady asked, covering his other ear to try to shut out the noise of children playing and adults talking.  Nancy repeated her news for the third time over the phone, but he still failed to hear it.  "Just a second, Mrs. Wesley.  I'm going into the kitchen so I can hear you better."  Brady deserted the chaos of the Blacks' living room during a Christmas party and entered the deserted and blissfully quiet kitchen.  "Okay.  Now start over.  What has Chloe done?"

"She's left him, Brady!" Nancy squealed gleefully.  "She's left that monster for good!"

Brady felt all the air forced from his lungs at Nancy's words.  Could it be possible?  His mind raced with a thousand questions.  "Are you sure, Mrs. Wesley?  Did I hear you right?  What happened?  Where is she?  Is she okay?"

Nancy laughed, the freest, most unrestrained laugh in five long years.  "There's nothing wrong with your ears, Brady.  Chloe's getting a divorce from Phillip.  It's over.  The nightmare is finally over."  She closed her eyes and placed a hand to her heart, silently giving thanks to God for her answered prayers.

Brady sank into a chair at the kitchen table.  He could tell from the excitement in Nancy's voice that she considered the matter finished, but Brady couldn't have her confidence.  After all, what could convince Chloe to divorce a husband whose physical and mental well-being she felt responsible for?  "Mrs. Wesley, would you mind slowing down and explaining this all to me?  I'm lost here."

Nancy went on to explain the whole situation to Brady, starting with Craig's aroused suspicions from his chats with Brady and Chloe and his search for proof that Phillip had somehow manipulated the situation.  He had finally tracked down Henderson and found him only too willing to share what he knew about Phillip's underhanded dealings.  "And that's not the worst of it," Nancy went on.  "When we confronted Phillip with the truth today, he completely lost it.  He was ranting like a crazy man, and he confessed that he had kept Chloe from getting into Julliard.  He did it all, Brady."

"What?" Brady breathed, completely taken off guard.  And then, it all made sense.  His fist and jaw clenched tightly.  "That son of a bitch.  Where's Chloe now?  Is she okay?  How's she taking it?"

"She's here, upstairs in her room.  I don't think it's quite sunk in yet.  But she gave him back her wedding ring and told him to expect divorce papers.  Craig took him home and is getting Chloe's stuff now.  I figured you had the right to know," she said, the smile discernable in her voice.  She could barely wait for the moment when Chloe and Brady rushed into each other's arms.  It had happily-ever-after written all over it.

"Thanks, Nancy," said Brady, still with an edge to his voice.  "Does Chloe want me to come over?"  He wasn't going to do anything to upset her.  She'd been through so much already.  And it was all his bastard uncle's fault.

"I don't know, Brady.  Like I said, she's upstairs gathering herself together.  But I'm sure you can expect a phone call from her soon.  Or if you prefer, you could come over now.  I'm sure you have plenty to say to each other."  In Nancy's mind, they were already reconciled.  

"Actually, there's someplace I need to be tonight," Brady responded darkly, his purpose clear before his eyes.  "Besides, Chloe will let me know when she's ready to talk."

The door to the kitchen swung open.  "Brady?" asked Meghan, looking curious.  "What's up?  Who's on the phone?"

Brady raised his hand to indicate he needed a minute.  Meghan stood silently, watching him.  "Listen, Mrs. Wesley, I've got to go.  Thanks again.  Bye."  He hung up the phone, glaring it as if he could see Phillip's face there.

"Brady?" Meghan questioned fearfully.  She'd never seen a look like that on his face before, so hard, so cold, so…deadly.  It frightened her.  He barely resembled the gentle protector who had made her the world's greatest hot chocolate.  "Are you all right?"

He looked at her, willing himself to relax.  There was no need to scare and burden Meghan with these problems.  She was finally starting to relax and just be a kid.  "I'm fine, Meghan," he answered her, with a forced smile.  "I'm going to need to go out for a while though.  Will you be okay staying here with my parents?"

Meghan nodded, still nervous.  Something was definitely wrong with Brady.  "Yeah, I like John and Marlena.  They're cool.  But what's going on, Brady?  Is it Chloe?  Or Greta?  Has something happened?  Are they hurt?"  She was starting to panic, terrifying memories rushing back.

In a few quick moments, Brady was at her side, eye-level, his hands on her shoulders.  "Chloe and Greta are fine," he reassured his daughter.  "Everyone is fine.  I just have an errand to run, okay?  I'll be back in an hour or two."

Meghan breathed a sigh of relief.  She was so afraid that her happiness wasn't going to last that she was making something out of nothing.  "Okay, Brady.  Don't worry about me.  Marlena wants to read some Christmas story to me anyway."

Brady smiled.  Marlena had instantly latched onto her new granddaughter, no doubt partly from missing Belle so much.  He gave Meghan a quick hug and kiss.  "Have fun, Meghan.  I won't be gone too long.  This is just something I have to do."

~~*~~

"There.  You've got her box," Phillip spat out.  "Now, get out of my house."  He stepped into the foyer, gesturing broadly to the door.  The Wesleys had ruined his life tonight and enjoyed every minute of it.  And there was nothing he could do about it.  Chloe had protectors now.  He'd have to be an even bigger fool than he was to mess with the Wesleys where their daughter was concerned.

Craig set down Chloe's box by the door.  "I'll leave, Phillip," he said evenly, facing the little punk, his eyes glittering with righteous indignation.  "But there's something I've got to do first."  He swung his fist without warning and connected with Phillip's jaw.  

Phillip stood stunned for only a moment before charging Craig with the ferocity of an enraged bull.  He bowled into Craig's stomach, knocking them both to the ground.  He beat his puny, bony fists into Craig's face repeatedly, before Craig recovered his wind enough to fight back.  He easily shoved the smaller man off of him and recovered his footing, landing several well placed-blows to Phillip's face and stomach.

Craig back away, breathing heavily, as Phillip hunched over wiping the blood from a gash above his eye.  Phillip looked up, his whole face a mask of hatred.  "What is your problem, man?  What gives you the right to barge into my house and attack me like this?"

"A father's right," Craig muttered.  He grabbed Phillip by the shirt, shoving him hard against the wall.  "And I swear, you come near Chloe again, you contact her, I so much as see your face; and I will torture you until you beg me to kill you just to put you out of your misery."  He grinned nastily.  "I'm a surgeon.  We know how to do these things."  Pleased to see the look of stark terror in Phillip's face, Craig released him, letting him slump to a heap on the floor.  He grabbed Chloe's box and left the Kiriakis mansion and the coward inside behind him forever.

He was on his way down to his car when he saw Brady's jeep pull up and Brady jump out, slamming the door viciously behind him.  Craig paused, knowing full well that Nancy must have spread the news already.  Looks like Brady was going to need some calming down.  Brady was barreling down the sidewalk when he saw Craig, blocking his path.  "Get out of the way, Craig," he demanded harshly.  

Craig smiled sardonically.  "Why?  So you can kill that bastard and spend the rest of your life in prison?"  He hoped Brady wouldn't really go that far, but he couldn't be sure.  Phillip did have a way of raising the most dormant tempers.  If Craig had been moved so far, there was no telling what Brady would do.

Brady stopped, his hands clenched tighter than humanly possible.  "He deserves to die for what he did," he bit out.  "How could he do that to her, Craig?   How could he stoop that low?"  In his mind, he could already picture himself tearing Uncle Phil limb from limb.  

"Because he's a sick, twisted, little man," Craig supplied.  "But I've dealt with him, Brady.  It was my place, not yours.  And he's not going to be bothering her ever again."  He grinned.  "If it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure Chloe broke his nose today."

Despite himself, Brady laughed.  "She did?  Seriously?"  He could completely picture the scene.  Nobody messed with Brady's Diva.  He noticed for the first time the fat lip Craig was sporting, as well as the forming bruises.  "Did Phillip do that?" he asked coldly.

Craig wiped off the trickle of blood on his lip.  "Yeah, well, you should see him.  Believe me, he got the worst of it.  And where's the fun in murdering a twerp too weak to fight back.  Besides, he's just not worth it.  He proved that when he sunk to such depths.  He's not a man, he's a snake.  And tomorrow, he'll be out of our lives forever."  He patted Brady on the back.  "Come on.  Let's go get a drink and calm down."

Brady cast one more longing glance in the direction of the Kiriakis mansion before following Craig back to the road.  Maybe it wasn't worth it, but he still would have enjoyed making that bastard suffer.  Sighing, he got back into his jeep and followed Craig to Brady's Pub.  He needed a good, stiff drink, or he'd turn back around and kill Uncle Phil without a second thought.

~~*~~

Nancy was pacing the floor nervously, waiting for Chloe to emerge, when Craig finally came home.  She got one look at him and crinkled her nose in disgust.  "What happened to you, honey?  You smell like whiskey, and you look like you've been run over by a truck."

Craig laughed.  "I had a little run in with our dear, beloved son-in-law.  Don't worry though.  He looks much worse than I do.  And then, I ran into Brady; and we stopped off for a drink."  He laughed at Nancy's disapproving stare.  "Don't worry, Nance.  I'm not drunk."  He wrapped his arms around her, despite her obvious repugnance.  He laughed and kissed her cheek.  "We were just celebrating."

Nancy smiled, forgiving him immediately.  "How was Brady doing?  I told him the news, but he didn't seem as thrilled with it as I thought he'd be."  She frowned, recalling his cold, distant tone.

Craig shook his head at his wife.  "Well, what did you think, Nancy?  You told him that the last five miserable years of his life and that of the woman he loves were caused solely by the selfish manipulations of his uncle.  It's lucky I ran into him when I did, or I think he really might have killed Phillip."  

Nancy drew back, horrified.  "I didn't even think of it that way.  I'm sorry, Craig.  Was he all right when you left him?"  Her and her big mouth.  She never bothered to think things through the way she should.  

Craig smirked.  "Quite.  We had a rather interesting chat.  Do you realize he's adopted that little girl he was telling us Chloe is so fond of?"  Craig smiled, remembering the gentle look in Brady's eyes as he talked about Meghan.  He had recognized it instantly.  It was the look of a father.  It had suited Brady perfectly.  

Nancy's face bloomed into a gigantic smile.  "Really?  Oh, Craig, do you realize what this means?"  She placed a hand to her husband's chest, her gaze bright with love and joy.  "Chloe's going to have a real family.  A husband to love who will protect and take care of her.  A daughter she adores.  It's going to be so perfect.  Oh, I can't wait to plan the wedding with her." 

Craig watched in vexed bemusement as his wife immediately headed to the living room to look for magazines.  "And she's off and running," he mumbled under his breath.  He approached her, taking her arms in his hands and causing her to still.  "Nancy, honey, listen to me.  I know you think this means everything's okay.  But don't get ahead of yourself.  Brady and Chloe have a lot to work through before they can even think of getting back together.  Talking to Brady tonight, I know how much he loves her; but I also know just how deep the hurt goes.  He's not going to be the one to risk his heart again."

Nancy sighed, frowning as Craig burst her little dream world bubble.  "What do you mean, Craig?  He's always loved our Chloe.  I know I had my doubts at times, but there's never been a time he's failed to be there for her.  Why would it all change now?"

Craig ran a hand through his hair, searching for the words to explain.  "Nancy, think of how many times Brady's put his heart on his sleeve for her.  And every single time she's been the one to reject him.  You think that's easy for him to deal with?  He's still there for her.  He still loves her, and he always will.  But I think this time, the one who'll need to make things right is Chloe."

"Well, then, that's okay," Nancy replied with her natural optimism.  "I'm sure he's all Chloe is thinking about.  She loves him, Craig.  I know that.  So do you."  She pictured herself crying as Craig walked their daughter down the aisle for the second time.  Only this time, they would be tears of joy.

Craig sighed his frustration.  "Nancy, would you stop this!  Chloe's been through hell for the past five years.  Who knows how deep the emotional scars run?  She has so many things to work through on her own right now.  I'm sure Brady isn't high on her list of priorities right now.  She'll need all of our love and support to get through this.  She doesn't need to be pushed into something she's not ready for."  He forced her to lock eyes with him.  "Understood?"

Nancy made a face.  "Yes, dear," she mumbled.  And she did understand.  She really did.  And part of her, the practical mother part, agreed with him.  Chloe needed time and space to heal right now.  But the other part of her, the hopeless romantic, wanted so desperately to see her daughter get the happily ever after she so deserved.  

Craig pulled his wife into a hug.  "I don't know if this will be easy or hard, honey.  I don't know how quickly Chloe will recover.  I don't know if she and Brady will be able to find their way back to each other or not.  But this I do know.  We'll be there for her, every step of the way.  We'll make sure she gets through this.  We got our Christmas miracle today, Nance.  Our daughter came home."  


	20. Chapter Twenty

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty**

Chloe awoke with her body stiff and sore from sleeping in her clothes.  It took her a moment to place her surroundings.  Then, it all came back to her in a rush.  She was home.  Her marriage was over, or as good as over.  Phillip had lied to her.  Phillip had kept her out of Julliard.  Phillip had kept her away from Brady.

"Brady," she breathed, suddenly filled with the desire to tell him everything.  She rushed for her phone and had even dialed the first three numbers before she remembered the conversation she had overheard between Brady and his father at Basic Black's Christmas party.  She set the phone down and backed away, disgusted with herself.  Brady wasn't hers to send away and call back as she chose.  He wouldn't come back just because she called him.  He had moved on with his life.  He wasn't hers anymore.

Chloe massaged her temples, trying to make sense of the jumble of thoughts in her head.  It might take weeks, months even, to sort everything out.  Her whole life had done a U-turn last night.  She wasn't bound to Phillip any longer, or she wouldn't be as soon as she got a divorce.  Yes, that was it.  The first thing she needed to do was consult a lawyer and have him draw up divorce papers.

And then what?  She was twenty-three years old.  She had no college diploma, no marketable skills, no work experience.  She knew that Craig and Nancy would be only too happy to have her stay, and that would be okay.  For a while.  She would need her parents help to get through this.  But what about later?  She didn't want to be someone else's responsibility her whole life.

Ever since she had come to Salem, Chloe had been letting other people take care of her.  Nancy and Craig.  Phillip.  Brady.  She wanted to know what independence felt like again.  She wanted to be self-sufficient.  She wanted to be Chloe Lane again.  She wanted to have dreams and goals and purpose in her life.  She just wasn't sure what those dreams entailed yet.

She thought once again of the revelations made yesterday.  Everything paled next to Phillip's admission that he had kept her out of Julliard.  Chloe felt an overwhelming surge of hatred for the man whose bed she had slept in for five years.  Damn him!  He had ruined her life, shattered her dreams, and torn her away from her true love all for his own selfish obsession.  And now, she was left with nothing but a broken heart and painful memories.

Chloe imagined what her life would be like now if Phillip hadn't screwed with it.  She'd have graduated from Julliard by now.  She'd have begun her singing career.  It might not have amounted to much yet, but she'd be on her way.  And Brady.  Brady would be in a front row seat, cheering her on.  Maybe they'd be married, maybe not.  He'd have waited until she was absolutely ready.  He'd have been her best teacher and her greatest supporter.  She knew all this without a doubt.  She might doubt herself, but never Brady or his love for her.

If only the truth had come out a few months earlier, she might still have salvaged her relationship with Brady.  She would have been able to run into his arms, instead of letting him walk out of her life.  But now it was too late to save even that much of her dreams.  Her soulmate, her true love, her perfect Brady was gone.  And nothing could change that now.

Chloe smiled bitterly.  _Welcome to your life, Chloe Lane.  She should have known better.  Hadn't she known once upon a time?  When she first came to Salem, she knew that love, any emotional attachment, could only bring pain, heartache, and misery in the end.  But she had let herself forget.  She had let Belle and Shawn's friendship, Phillip's adoration, Craig's understanding, Nancy's clumsy tenderness, and finally Brady's love break her down until her heart was left completely unprotected and vulnerable to all attacks._

_But wasn't it worth it? her treacherous heart asked her.  The moments of joy with her friends and family were all she had had to live on during her nightmarish marriage.  And who's to say she couldn't have that again?  So maybe she had lost Brady, but that wasn't what she should dwell on right now.  She shouldn't waste time on the "what ifs" and the "if onlys."  The past was done, and couldn't be redeemed.  The future was uncertain and cloudy.  But the present…the present was suddenly worth living again._

Phillip was gone.  She was finally free.  She had her parents back.  She had friends again.  She had a life!  The sun was reflecting brightly off the snow, and the smell of fresh coffee was wafting into her room.  Chloe smiled.  Her room.  Her house.  Her parents.  She realized she had yet to talk to Nancy and Craig about it all.  No doubt her mother would have many opinions on the subject, and wouldn't hesitate to share them.  But Chloe found to her surprise that she actually wanted to hear Nancy's thoughts.  They couldn't be any more muddled than her own.  And Craig could always be counted on to be the voice of reason.

Chloe's eyes caught the photograph on her nightstand.  Just as she left it so many years ago.  All thoughts of being strong and independent flew from her mind, as she picked it up, a sob catching in her throat.  How long had it been since she'd seen that bright, untroubled smile on her own face?  How long since she'd been encircled in Brady's arms and his love?  It seemed a lifetime ago.  

Replacing the photo, Chloe steeled herself to face the world alone and took her first step by going down the stairs to face her parents.  She heard Nancy humming in the kitchen, obviously well pleased with herself and all the world.  Chloe entered the dining room to the familiar sight of Craig waiting for breakfast with his face buried in the paper.  She smiled.  In spite of everything, it felt like no time had passed, like she was still a teenager, about to grab a quick bite before going shopping with Belle or cruising with Brady.  "Morning, Craig," she said brightly.

"Good morning, Chloe," Craig returned, setting his paper aside.

Chloe gasped when she saw the gash on Craig's forehead and the black eye he was sporting.  "Craig, what happened?" she asked anxiously, approaching him.  Her eyes opened wide in comprehension.  "Phillip did this to you, didn't he?  Damn that bastard!  Craig, we should press charges."

Craig chuckled at his stepdaughter's vehemence.  It was easy to tell she was her mother's daughter.  "That won't be necessary, Chloe.  To be honest, I started it.  And I'm sure Phillip's in much worse shape than I am this morning."

Chloe's jaw dropped in shock.  "You mean…you attacked him?" she stammered.  Chloe nodded sheepishly, studying her reaction.  After a moment, Chloe recovered herself.  She crossed her arms and gazed reproachfully at him.  "All I have to say to you, Craig, is…thank you."  Her false show of anger evaporated, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.  "I'm so lucky to have a father like you."

Craig swallowed back his own emotion, as he patted her back awkwardly.  He had thought of her as his daughter for so long, but this was the first time she had shown that the feeling was reciprocal.  Chloe pulled away, smiling nervously.  She never would be comfortable with showing her emotions openly.  He pattered her cheek.  "I'm so proud of you, Chloe.  You've come through so much; and rather than letting it destroy you, you've let it make you a stronger person."

Chloe blushed and fidgeted under his praise.  She took her seat, shaking her head dismissively.  "No, Craig, I'm not.  If I was a strong person, I wouldn't have let something as stupid as a rejection letter turn my whole life inside out.  If I had been strong, I would have left before now.  I'm not strong.  The truth is, I never was, even when I first came here and pretended to be.  That's why I was stuck in that relationship for so long."  She straightened her shoulders.  "But I am determined now.  I'm determined to do something with the rest of my life and not squander it anymore."

"Good for you, sweetheart."

Chloe looked up at her mother standing in the doorway with the breakfast tray.  She smiled.  "Hey, Mom.  Good morning."

Nancy beamed at her daughter.  "Same to you, sweetheart."  She glanced out the window at the bright blue sky.  "It's a beautiful day, a day for new beginnings."  She glanced at her daughter as she joined them at the table.  "So any idea what beginnings are in store for you, Chloe?"

"Nancy," Craig cautioned her, giving her a warning glance.  Hadn't they just discussed the difference between support and interference?  It was Chloe's life.  She would open up to them as she saw fit.

Chloe laughed.  "It's all right, Craig.  I think I've reached an age where I've realized the value of a mother's advice.  And a father's too.  I've never needed you two more than I do now.  Not to mention, I haven't even thanked you yet.  And I do thank you, with all my heart and soul.  If you hadn't cared enough to find Henderson and set up that meeting, I would have probably remained in that situation for the rest of my life.  I can't ever repay you."

Nancy reached across the table and took Chloe's hand in hers.  "Chloe, sweetheart, you don't need to thank us.  You're our daughter.  Of course, we had to help you.  I'm just sorry it took us so long.  We should have figured it out years ago."

Chloe shook her head, stopping Nancy's apology.  "There's no use in 'what ifs', Mom.  That's something I'm learning very quickly.  What we need to concentrate on is 'what now.'  So I guess that's my question.  What now?"

Craig and Nancy exchanged a relieved glance.  Chloe was coping with this so much better than they had expected her to.  "Well, honey," Craig began slowly.  "I think the place to start is by cutting your last ties to Phillip and rebuilding your life without him."  
  


"We can get you an appointment with the best divorce lawyer in Salem," Nancy added.  "The best in the state even.  By the time we're done, you'll own that bastard."

Chloe shook her head.  "No, Mom.  That's not what I want.  I mean, I want a divorce," she continued quickly, noticing the momentary horror on her parents' faces.  "But I want it quickly.  I don't want a long, drawn-out process.  And I don't want everything Phillip has.  I don't want to be the vengeful ex-wife."

Nancy stared at her in mild vexation.  "Chloe, noble aims are well and good.  But there's nothing disgraceful about alimony.  It's a wife's right.  Especially in your case.  Especially after all the hell he put you through."

"I'm not saying I don't want any settlement, Mom.  I just have a different view of justice."  She smiled wryly.  "I like the poetic kind.  It just kind of came to me last night when I was staring at the walls trying to put the pieces together.  All I want from Phillip is the amount it would take for four years tuition at Julliard."

Craig chuckled, appreciating the irony.  "Sounds like justice to me, Nancy.  So, Chloe, does this mean you're going to reapply to Julliard?"

Chloe shook her head.  "No.  I think it's five years too late for that dream.  Besides, I don't want to leave Salem right now.  I finally have my family back, and I feel safe here.  But I might want to take some courses at Salem University.  I mean, it's not like I'm really equipped for anything," she finished glumly.

Nancy studied her daughter sympathetically.  "It will all come together, sweetheart.  You'll see.  But no one expects you to chart your whole future today.  Give yourself time to heal.  Besides, I just got you back too, and I don't have any intentions of letting you go anytime soon."

Chloe smiled lovingly at her.  "Thanks, Mom.  It's a good thing too, since I don't have anyplace else to go."  Her thoughts started drifting once again to Brady, but she pulled them ruthlessly back.  _Focus on the positive.  She was free.  She was with her family.  One couldn't have everything._

Nancy gazed penetratingly at her, practically reading her thoughts.  "Come on, Chloe.  Eat up.  What you need is something to cheer you up.  As soon as we're done eating, we're going shopping.  What's a new life without a new wardrobe?"

~~*~~

"It's Chloe, isn't it?" Meghan asked, examining the distracted look on Brady's face.

"What?" Brady asked, snapping back to reality and staring across at the small personage sharing breakfast with him.

"Chloe," Meghan repeated slowly.  "She's moving today.  That's what you were thinking about, isn't it?"  She gave him an understanding glance.  She knew the feeling only too well.  Chloe had left without even saying goodbye.  "It's all right, Brady," she said, with false bravery.  "If she doesn't need us, we don't need her."

Brady recognized Meghan's words for what they were, an attempt to hide her hurt and rejection.  "Meghan, come here," he instructed, reaching his arms out to her.  When she came to him, he lifted her and set her on his lap, holding his daughter close.  "First of all, Chloe cares very much about you and would never mean do anything to hurt you.  Secondly," he paused, a smile lighting up his blue eyes.  "Chloe's not leaving today."

Meghan tried to read his expression, wary distrust in her eyes.  It was too good to be true.  He didn't mean that she was staying, just that it was being delayed a while.  "Well, then, when?  Tomorrow?  Next week?"

Brady shook his head.  "She's not leaving, Meghan.  Phillip should be leaving within a few hours.  But she's not going.  They're getting a divorce.  Chloe's staying with her parents."  He knew it was useless to try and disguise his exhilaration from Meghan, so he didn't even try.  Life had begun again today.

A slow smile crept over Meghan's face, until she was grinning ear to ear.  "Really?" she squealed.  Brady nodded, and she gave him a gigantic hug.  "Brady, do you know what this means?  We got our Christmas miracle after all.  We're going to be a family!"

"Wait a minute, Meghan," Brady said gently, prying her arms off him and pulling back to meet her eyes.  "Just because Chloe's divorcing Phillip doesn't mean that now the three of us are going to be a family.  I'm sure Chloe's got a lot of things on her mind right now.  She's not going to really want to be with anyone for a while."

Meghan was confused at Brady's calm acceptance of this.  "But Brady, you love Chloe.  Don't you want to marry her?"

Brady laughed nervously.  "It's not that simple, Meghan.  There's a lot to adult relationships that you won't understand for many, many, MANY years.  At least another twenty if I have anything to say about it," he teased, with a father's protective affection.

Meghan rolled her eyes at Brady's lame attempt to change the subject.  "What are you so afraid of, Brady?  Just go find her and tell her you love her.  What's so hard about that?"

Brady's mouth tipped in a sardonic half-smile.  Yes, what would be so hard about that?  Except the resurgence of his fear of rejection.  Over the past few months, he had laid his heart and soul bare before her over and over again.  And each time, she had—intentionally or not—managed to kill him in a million different ways.  But then, at least, he had always had to fall back on the reassurance that it was only her loyalty to her husband that was causing her to reject him.  If he went to her now, and she turned him away, it would finish him.

None of this however would be told to his daughter.  She knew too much of their affair as it was.  "Chloe needs time to heal," he informed Meghan truthfully.  "You saw how awful Phillip was to her.  She needs time to get over that and get her life in order."

Meghan looked less than pleased with his answer, but she accepted it.  "Okay," she mumbled again.  Then, she brightened again.  "But when she does get over it, you'll ask her to marry you?"

Brady groaned.  "You, little imp, are incorrigible," he told her affectionately, patting her nose.  "Only time will tell what happens.  In the meantime, I don't want to hear another word from you on the subject.  Understood?"

Meghan sighed, reluctantly giving in.  "Okay, Brady.  When are we going to see Chloe again?"

Brady visibly tensed.  "Well, Meghan, we should give her some time to adjust first.  I'm sure she'll go back to teaching the choir after New Year's.  You'll see her then."

Meghan wasn't fooled by his choice of words.  "And what about you?" she asked archly.  "Aren't you going to see her?"  She was getting fed up with Brady's half-answers.  Why was he avoiding Chloe when he was so obviously in love with her?  It didn't make sense.

"When she's ready," Brady repeated.  He didn't know when, if ever, that would be.  But he wasn't going to pressure her any more.  Chloe would make up her own mind, in her own time.  And he would be right here waiting for her when she did.


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-One**

Nancy peeked her head into her daughter's bedroom one last time.  Chloe was lying on her bed reading.  Nancy sighed.  "Chloe, sweetheart, won't you please come with us?" she asked for the hundredth time that day.

Chloe looked up, barely keeping her exasperation in check.  "I don't want to go, Mom."  Knowing what the next words out of Nancy's mouth would be, she quickly added, "And I don't want you to stay home either.  It's New Year's Eve.  You and Craig should go out and have a good time.  I just don't really feel like being around a lot of people right now."

Nancy perused her face, trying to discern the emotions there.  For the last week, Chloe had seemed fine.  She was coping with this colossal change in her life with the utmost calm and dignity.  She had filed for divorce only two days after Christmas without the slightest hesitation or second thoughts.  She had even looked into signing up for some classes at Salem U this semester.  And then, today, she had seemed as low as could be.  She flat out refused to go to the New Year's party at University Hospital, and she pitched a fit at the mere mention of her parents staying home with her.

Nancy was genuinely worried about her.  She couldn't be regretting her decision to leave Philip, could she?  She entered the room and gingerly sat down on the bed next to her daughter.  Sweetheart, I know how rough it must seem, going through your first holiday alone…without Philip, I mean.  That's why I think it's doubly important for you to be with us tonight.  So that you know you're not really alone."

Chloe rolled her eyes, feeling an odd sense of déjà vu.  This was how it had been in high school, Nancy trying to help but never truly understanding the problem.  "I don't miss Philip, Mom," she responded, trying to be patient with her mother.  "I don't think I could ever reach a point where I would miss him.  I'm so glad to be free again.  But I need some time alone to just let it all soak in, you know?  I want to slow down the whirlwind in my head a little."

Nancy nodded, feeling a rush of relief.  She should have given Chloe more credit.  She wasn't the same foolish young woman she had been in high school.  Nancy cradled her daughter's cheek.  "I'm so proud of you, Chloe," she gushed, her eyes swimming with tears.  "You've matured so much in such a short time.  You've always been so intelligent, and now you're finally allowing yourself to listen to your better judgment."

Chloe ducked her head at her mother's praise.  "Thanks, Mom…I think.  But I'm sure we'd all be much better off if I had started using it a long time ago…."  Her voice drifted off as Brady's face swam again before her mind's eye.

Nancy didn't need to hear the words to know Chloe's thoughts at the moment.  She frowned.  If Chloe missed Brady so much, why didn't she just go see him?  And why hadn't Brady called or come around?  For two people so completely in love, they were making things inordinately difficult.  "I don't think Brady will be there tonight, if that's what you're worried about," Nancy blurted out with her usual lack of tact.

Chloe's face flamed bright red; and she moved swiftly from the bed to the window, keeping her face carefully averted.  "It doesn't matter to me what Brady does," she lied coldly.  "He can go where he pleases.  It doesn't affect my life in the slightest."

Nancy's expression reflected the shock she was feeling.  A little awkwardness between her daughter and Brady was understandable.  But this was much more than that.  Chloe's hostility was meant to conceal great hurt.  But what would Brady have ever done to hurt her?  He loved her.  He'd gone out of his way to take care of her these past few months.  Things just did not add up.  "Chloe, sweetheart, what—"

"Nancy, come on!  We're going to be late," Craig's impatient warning sounded up the stairs.

Chloe turned back to her mother, wearing a forced smile.  "Go on, Mom.  Have fun tonight.  You look beautiful, by the way."  Her smile became more genuine.  "Happy New Year's."

"Happy New Year's, sweetheart," Nancy returned sadly.  She didn't see what kind of good holiday Chloe could have, shut up in this house all by herself.  She gave her daughter a bone-crushing hug.  "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom."  Chloe practically forced her mother out the door.  She didn't need any more of Nancy's prying questions.  She didn't think she could deal with them tonight.  She couldn't even explain the mood that had come over her.  She watched from her window as Craig and Nancy drove away.  Tomorrow was the start of a new year.  A year without Philip.  A year without captivity and misery and depression.  She should be jumping for joy.  She was getting a chance to start her life again.  So what the hell was the matter with her?  Why was she so depressed?  She pushed away the obvious answer.  She didn't want to think about him right now.

Chloe went downstairs and flicked on the T.V.  Dick Clark was on.  She giggled suddenly.  The guy must be at least a hundred years old by now.  She made some microwave popcorn, grabbed some soda and sweets and prepared to veg out for the remainder of her New Years.  It saved her from thinking too much.  Her mind had started betraying her today, going relentlessly back to Brady at every opportunity.  She didn't think she could deal with it much longer.

The phone rang about half an hour later.  Chloe cursed herself for her automatic, fleeting hope that it was Brady.  More likely her mother calling her checking in.  Composing herself, she picked up the phone.  "Hello?"

"Hello, may I speak to Mrs. Chloe Kiriakis, please?" came a gruff, unfamiliar male voice on the other end of the line.

A tight knot seemed to form in the pit of Chloe's stomach.  She had thought she was finally free of that name.  "This is her speaking," she responded, despising the tremor in her voice.  "Who is this, may I ask?"

"Mrs. Kiriakis, this is Officer Marshall of the Los Angeles Police Department.  Is there someone there with you now?"

She knew.  She knew without being told.  She sank onto the couch, her hand to her suddenly cold forehead.  "Oh God, what's Philip done?"

"I'd like to know if someone's there with you, ma'am," the officer said, his voice gentling.

"No, no one's here," Chloe choked out.  "But you've got to tell me.  What's he done?  Is he okay?  Did he hurt someone?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am.  There's no easy way to tell you this.  Your husband killed himself today," he informed her tonelessly.  This truly was the worst part of his job, telling the loves ones.

Chloe inhaled sharply.  God, no!  This couldn't be happening.  Her eyes suddenly widened with comprehension, or maybe just her last hope.  "You're lying," she said coldly.  "Philip put you up to this, didn't he?  How much is he paying you?  Or are you just some sick, bastard friend of his doing him a favor?"

Officer Marshall wasn't surprised at her denial.  That was nothing new to him.  But her anger was unexplainable.  "I'm telling the truth, ma'am.  I'm Officer Joseph Marshall of the Los Angeles Police Department.  If you don't believe me, hang up now.  Call information.  And have them put you through to the 46th precinct of the L.A.P.D.  Then, ask for me at the desk."

Chloe winced.  She knew suddenly he wasn't lying, but she had to prove it to herself.  She had to make sure this wasn't one more of Philip's elaborate schemes, because if it wasn't then….She couldn't bear to think about it.  She pushed the thoughts out of her mind, and hung up the phone, following the officer's instructions to the letter.  Within minutes, she was back on the phone to him.  "How…how did he do it?" she stammered, finally accepting it was the truth.  Philip was dead.  He had killed himself.

"He jumped out his apartment window," Joseph said softly.  This would be so much easier if she had someone there to lean on.  "I'm sorry, ma'am.  If it makes it any easier, his death was instantaneous."

"No, that doesn't make it better," Chloe snapped.  A surge of unreasoning anger towards Philip came over her.  He had done this on purpose.  It had been his last revenge, one more way to make her suffer.  "Did he leave behind a note or any reason as to why he did it?"  She dreaded the answer she knew was to come.

Officer Marshall cleared his throat uncomfortably.  "Well, we found divorce papers lying on the table.  Apparently, he'd been served the day before.  That doesn't make it your fault, ma'am," he added quickly.  "He left no note, so we may never know why he actually did it."

"Right," Chloe returned icily.  She could still feel her rage bubbling.  Damn that selfish bastard!  Well, he'd done it.  He'd won.  She had finally thought she was free, and now instead she'd be bound for life.  Bound with the guilt that it was all her own fault.  The fear that had held her captive for so long had been justified after all.  She smiled bitterly.  Her last hope for a real life was destroyed.

"Mrs. Kiriakis," the policeman began tentatively.  "I know this is a horrible thing to hear right now, but you're going to need to make arrangements about your husband.  Not now, of course.  But let me give you the number you'll need to call."  He carefully avoided using the words "body" and "morgue".  Those words in themselves had a way of making the strongest people break down.

Chloe obediently jotted down the number.  She felt cold all over, chilled to the heart.  "Okay.  I'll take care of…him," she said in a dead tone.  "Is there anything else?"

Officer Marshall recognized the symptoms of someone in shock.  It was only a matter of time before it all sank in, and she broke down.  She would need someone there when she did.  "I'd just like to ask you to call someone," he advised compassionately.  "You shouldn't be alone tonight."

"All right, Officer.  Thank you."  She didn't know what exactly she was thanking him for, but she couldn't think of anything else to say.  "Goodbye."  She hung up the phone before he could respond.  She couldn't think.  She didn't want to.  All she could do was stare blankly at the phone.

Almost of her own volition her hand reached for the phone again.  He had said to call someone.  But who?  She could call Craig and Nancy, but she didn't think she could deal with them right now.  There was Greta.  But she was on her first date in months, and Chloe couldn't bear to ruin it.  It was pure instinct that brought her fingers from one button to the next as she called the only person she needed right now.

~~*~~

Brady and Meghan were in the fifth round of their Uno championship when the phone rang.  "Hello?" Brady asked as he got to the phone first, much to Meghan's dismay.

"Brady."

No one needed to tell him who the soft, pained voice on the other end of the line was.  And no one needed to tell him that she was hurting badly.  "Chloe, what's the matter?"  He saw Meghan's warm brown eyes flash with concern.

"He's dead, Brady," she said in a hollow voice.  "Philip killed himself."

Brady felt all the air pushed from his lungs.  "I'm coming, Chloe.  Where are you?  Your parents' house?"  He wasn't about to waste time asking for pointless explanations.  It would only keep him from her longer.  Besides, he had a pretty good idea what had happened.

"Yes, Brady.  I'm here."  The deadness in her tone frightened him.  Even at her lowest point, he had never heard her voice sound so empty.

"I'll be right there.  Bye, Chloe."  He hung up the phone and noticed the scared look on Meghan's face.  "Meghan, get your shoes and coat on.  We're going to see Chloe."  He was already grabbing his jacket.  

Meghan immediately obeyed.  "What's wrong?" she asked as she slipped on her shoes.  "What's happened to Chloe?"

Brady frowned.  How could he explain suicide to a child like Meghan?  How could he burden her with this when she'd already been through so much?  "Chloe's fine," he assured her.  "She just had some bad news."

"About Philip?" Meghan prompted.  All of the bad stuff in Chloe's life could be traced back to him.

"Yes, about Philip.  Come on.  I'll tell you on the way."  He opened the door to let his daughter leave first.  Her young face looked up at him with eyes far too old for her.  And he was about to strip away one more layer of her innocence.  Damn Philip.

~~*~~

Chloe opened the door to Brady and stood back in shock as Meghan entered in front of him.  "Meghan, what are you doing here?" she stammered.

Meghan looked upset.  "You didn't think he'd come without me, did you?  I'm so sorry, Chloe.  I really am."  She threw her arms around Chloe and clung there.  She still couldn't believe what Brady had explained to her on the way over here.  She couldn't believe anyone would be so sad inside themselves or so mean to others that they would take their own lives.

Chloe patted her back soothingly, while looking to Brady for answers.  "It's okay, Meghan.  Thank you for coming.  But I still don't understand why you're here with Brady.  Brady?"

It was Brady's turn to look surprised.  "You don't know?  I thought for sure Dr. Wesley or Greta would have told you.  I would have myself, but you were moving so it didn't seem quite fair, I guess.  And then I hadn't seen you since you decided to stay."

"Tell me what?" Chloe asked in frustration.  She didn't have the energy to play word games tonight.  She just wanted everything cleared up.  She just wanted to let her mind go for a while, free, with no worries at all.

"Brady adopted me," announced Meghan, stepping back to Brady's side and looking up at him adoringly.  "At Christmas."

Chloe's jaw dropped.  Brady, a father?  Suddenly, the conversation she had overheard between Brady and John came rushing back to her.  Could they have been talking about Meghan?  It all fit.  Maybe Brady didn't have a girlfriend after all.  Maybe…She immediately stopped that line of thought.  It didn't matter now.  None of it mattered now.  She was responsible for her husband's death.  How could she even think about cursing Brady with her wretched self?

Brady could tell the minute Philip came back into Chloe's thoughts.  It brought with it the old look of confusion, pain, and self-loathing.  "Meghan, why don't you go watch the ball drop on T.V.?" he instructed, his eyes still only on Chloe.

Meghan opened her mouth to object but stopped suddenly when she saw the loving concern on Brady's face as he looked at Chloe.  Brady would know how to take care of Chloe.  He always knew what to do.  "Okay, Brady," she agreed quietly and slipped into the living room, leaving them alone in the foyer.

Looking at Chloe's bereft expression, all Brady wanted to do was fold her in his arms; but she didn't look ready to accept his comfort.  So why had she called him?  "Come on, Chloe.  Let's go to the kitchen.  You can sit down, and I'll make you some tea."  Chloe nodded soundlessly, and Brady took her hand, leading her into the kitchen like a docile child.  He didn't press her for any information, just let her sit there, staring dumbly into space while he made her some tea.  Finally, he set a cup before her, content to sit in silence until she was ready to talk.

Chloe stared into her teacup morosely, twisting and turning it, but never lifting it to her lips.  "I hate him," she bit out after an interminable silence.  "I hate him for doing this.  He did it to make me feel guilty.  He did it to make me miserable.  And now, he's dead; and I'm not allowed to hate him.  I'm not allowed to fight back anymore.  This is it.  Game over.  He wins."  She slumped back in her chair, utterly defeated.

Brady's fists unconsciously clenched.  He understood the sentiment only too well.  He wished he hadn't let Craig talk him into leaving the Kiriakis mansion that night.  He wished he had killed Philip, if only to save Chloe from the guilt she was feeling now.  "It's not your fault, Chloe," he said softly.

Chloe snorted derisively.  "Not my fault.  Right.  My mentally unstable husband kills himself right after receiving divorce papers from me.  But it's not my fault."  She stared unseeingly in front of her, a thousand scenes of Philip dancing before her eyes.  From the sweet and tender boy she had almost convinced herself she loved, to the psychotic, vengeful man he had turned out to be.  And now, he was dead.

"Chloe, look at me," Brady ordered.  When she didn't, he captured her chin in his hand and turned her face to his.  God, he hated that haunted look in her eyes.  "Listen to me.  None of this was your fault.  You said it yourself.  Philip was unstable.  He's been proving it for years.  But that's not your fault either.  You just had the misfortune of becoming his obsession."

Chloe saw the gentle protectiveness in his eyes and melted.  After all this time, after all she'd done, he still loved her.  How was it even possible?  "This changes everything though, Brady.  Don't you see that?  My husband killed himself.  Because of me.  Even if, by some miracle, I someday manage to forgive myself, no one else ever will.  It will be there in their eyes. 'She killed her husband.'  I might as well have bushed him out that window, Brady."

Brady felt his heart breaking for her.  Would there ever be an end to her misery?  She had suffered enough for a lifetime, and still there was no end in sight.  For possibly the first time in his life, Brady Black found himself at a loss for words.  So he didn't use any.  He just reached across the table and enfolded her soft, delicate hands in his.  She looked grateful for the comfort, and then recounted her entire conversation with the police officer.  She told it distantly, as if it had happened to someone else or in another lifetime.

"I'll go," Brady said as soon as she finished.

"What?" she asked, not following him.

"I'll go to L.A. and get everything settled.  I'll take care of Philip's estate, funeral arrangements, all of it.  I don't want you to have to deal with this on top of everything else."  Philip had never protected her, even in death.  Brady would be damned before he let Chloe get hurt anymore.

Chloe smiled weakly at his determined tone.  She knew that this was how he must sound at Basic Black's board meetings.  "No, Brady," she said softly, shaking her head.  "It wouldn't look right.  It wouldn't _be right.  No.  I'll try and take care of it over the phone.  And if I can't, I guess I'll go.  Or maybe Austin and Lucas should."_

Brady nodded his agreement reluctantly.  He knew her point was valid.  People would certainly have something to gossip about if the widow's ex-boyfriend arranged the funeral.  Even if he and Phil were related, they weren't family.  They hadn't been in a very long time.  "All right, Chloe.  You win."

Chloe's smile turned bitter.  "No.  He wins."  She paused, studying every inch of Brady's beloved face.  "Thanks for coming, Brady.  I know I had no right to ask you."  She still couldn't get over how he still remained unchanged towards her.  Was there nothing in this world that could destroy his love for her?

"You had ever right in the world," Brady protested.  "You should know by now that I want to be the first person you call when you need help, Chloe.  I only wish I could actually do something to help you this time."

"Just knowing you cared enough to come, helps enough," Chloe said, fighting back tears for the first time all night.  A sudden burst of noise swept the whole neighborhood, as horns were honked, party favors blown, and drunken choruses of "Auld Lang Syne" were raised.  

"Happy New Year," Chloe bit out ironically.  "For most of them anyway.  Of course, some didn't even live to see it."  All her anger towards Philip suddenly seemed to evaporate as a wave of pity overcame her.  His life had been so unhappy; his mind so confused; and his talents so misapplied and wasted.  But he had always loved her, in his own twisted way.  And now he was dead because of it.  Because of her.  All her strength gave out; and she started to cry, deep, heaving sobs.

Brady was on his feet immediately.  In another moment, he had pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair and letting her weep unrestrainedly.  He didn't offer her words of comfort.  He didn't have any.  He just held his Diva and silently cried along with her for a man who had caused them so much misery but had in the end destroyed only himself.


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

He had watched her all through the funeral.  Even with her parents by her side, even surrounded by people, she had stood apart, suffering with a mingled grief, guilt and impotent rage that no one else could possibly comprehend.  He had watched her stand in numb silence as one by one people shuffled by to offer quiet condolences.  Even without being close enough to hear what was said, Brady knew that many of them weren't heartfelt.  

Vicious gossip was already starting to circle through Salem, no doubt urged along by well-meaning people like Nicole Walker and his beloved stepsister Sami.  The news was all around town that Philip had killed himself because of Chloe leaving him.  It was only a matter of time before the carrions descended and picked apart the little that was left of Chloe's peace of mind.  

Mimi Lockhart-Masters had sent more than her share of spiteful glances Chloe's way.  Brady knew the Masters had been Philip's best friends, and he couldn't begrudge them their sorrow or their anger.  But he'd be damned before he let them or anyone else say one word to cut Chloe.  Not when she was already bleeding so deeply.

Chloe had people to support her, of course.  The Wesleys had rarely been forced from her side all day.  And Belle and Shawn had come home a week earlier than planned to be here for the funeral.  Brady studied his sister's red-rimmed eyes and drawn skin with pity.  She and Philip had been the best of friends all their lives.  Despite how they had fallen out over his marriage to Chloe, she and Shawn had never stopped caring about him.

Greta was there, purely out of respect and concern for Chloe.  She hadn't known Philip well at all and hadn't liked what she knew.  But Brady had seen Greta's soft warm eyes fill with tears as she kept a steady gaze on Chloe's pale, strained face.  Little Meghan had wept silently through most of the service as well, as she clutched Brady's hand tightly.  He knew it was bringing back memories of her own parents' funerals.

And Brady could do nothing to ease their pain.  He felt like raging against God and all the heavens for this cruel twist of fate.  They were all on the brink of a new start.  Meghan had finally found a safe home, free from worries a child that young shouldn't have to bear.  Chloe was finally freeing herself from the grip of that lunatic.  And then, Philip had done this.

Brady clenched his jaw tightly shut.  He felt if he let one word escape his lips, he'd lose it, cursing his dead rival to the deepest pit of hell for what he'd done to Chloe.  Phil said he loved her, but just look what he had done.  He had kept her from pursuing her dream; trapped her in a miserable marriage for five years; and then, when she had finally gotten out, he took a revenge so despicable that Chloe would never get over it.

He tried to remind himself that Philip was insane and therefore not responsible for his actions.  He tried to remind himself of the boy Philip had been.  Spoiled and willful, perhaps, but still a sweet, innocent child.  What had happened to that little boy?  Had it been the destructive influence of his mother? the high expectations and constant pressure of his father? his selfish nature left unchecked?  Or had that madness been lurking all along and they had just missed the signals?

Brady didn't know; and frankly, he was tired of thinking about it.  Philip had taken a selfish, cowardly way out.  There was nothing that could be done for him now.  Chloe was all that mattered.  His Chloe, who was suffering so greatly.  And there was nothing he could do about that either.  He couldn't even approach her without adding fuel to the already blazing fire of righteous indignation against her.  He felt so useless, so cut off from her now.  And that, he knew, was precisely what Philip had wanted.

An insistent tugging on his hand disrupted Brady's dark thoughts.  He looked down to see Meghan frowning up at him.  "Brady, are we going to talk to Chloe?"

Brady looked around him, once more aware of his surroundings.  The reception was being held at the Kiriakis mansion, performing its last function before it would be boarded up until it was sold.  Craig and Nancy, and Shawn and Belle had formed a tight circle around Chloe and seemed to be daring anyone less well-disposed to her to break it.  Philip's relatives and close friends had congregated in the opposite corner of the room, and their hatred practically radiated out towards Chloe.  The rest of the guests simply milled about, talking in hushed, tense voices.

Brady could feel the explosion building.  His talking to Chloe would be just the torch the place needed to ignite.  "You should go talk to her, Meghan.  She'd like that," he answered evasively.

Meghan crossed her arms and gave him an arch look.  "Why aren't you going to, Brady?  I thought you two were friends again, at least, when we came over on New Year's.  Now, you're avoiding her again.  Why?  I don't understand, Brady."

He cupped her cheek affectionately.  "I know you don't, Meghan.  I'm not trying to avoid Chloe, though.  It's just…there's a lot of anger that people are carrying with them today; and for everyone's sake, especially Chloe's, it's better if I keep my distance.  But you really should go to her, honey.  She needs all the friends she can get right now."

Meghan nodded sadly, resigned to still more problems for her new father and his love.  "Okay, Brady.  I'll be back soon."  She had a feeling he was going to need as much support as Chloe, even if he wouldn't admit it.

Brady watched as Meghan made her way to Chloe, watched as Meghan greeted her with a hug, watched as Chloe smiled slightly for the first time all day.  He felt a rush of relief just seeing that familiar smile, even if it was weaker than usual.  It gave him hope, something he'd been entirely without for the past week.

"Well, this is depressing, even for a funeral," a soft voice spoke up beside him.  He turned to find Greta sipping her coffee as she glanced from one tight-knit camp to the other.  "You'd think they could at least make an effort to look at this from Chloe's point of view."  

Brady laughed humorlessly.  "The good people of Salem?  You must be joking.  It's easier to blame a perceived unfaithful wife than to admit that one of their own was a deranged monster."  His voice dripped with sarcasm and the knowledge gained from too many years in small town society.

Greta shook her head at the injustice of it all.  "And now they'll take this last crazy act for a disturbed, selfish man and make him a martyr for love.  And Chloe will be the one who's punished.  As is she's not doing a good enough job of condemning herself."

Brady turned to her, his face instantly etched with anxiety and concern.  "Have you talked to her?  How's she doing?"  He knew he sounded frantic, but he hadn't spoken to Chloe since the Wesleys had returned on New Years.

Greta smiled sympathetically at her friend.  He loved Chloe so much and had been through almost as much as Chloe had.  Surely, if anyone deserved a little happiness in life it was them.  "As well as can be expected, I guess."  She paused, a frown wrinkling up her beautiful face.  "It's the way she takes all the blame for it that scares me, Brady.  It's like now that he's dead, she doesn't think she's entitled to remember all the things he did to her, all the pain he caused her.  She keeps going on about how much he loved her and how much she hurt him."

Brady unconsciously clenched and unclenched his fists repeatedly.  "Damn him," he spat out viciously, not caring if anyone heard.  "Damn him for doing this to her.  If Philip had ever known the slightest thing about love, he wouldn't have put her through this hell for all the world."  His eyes were a terrifyingly icy blue.

Greta put a calming hand to his arm, her eyes great wells of pity.  "Brady, you have to stop this," she instructed him gently.  "Your rage can't touch Philip now.  And it will only end up hurting you.  And Meghan.  And Chloe.  And I know that's not what you want. You want to help Chloe get through this, but the way to do that is just to be there for her."

"I want to, Greta; but I can't," Brady said, utterly defeated.  Even the anger had left him at Greta's softly-spoken reprimand, leaving only that cold void inside of him.  "People are going to be wretched enough to her as it is.  She doesn't need the added burden of gossip about us."

Greta rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.  "That's crap, Brady, and you know it.  People are going to say what they want to say, no matter what you do.  Besides, when have Brady Black and Chloe Lane ever cared what other people had to say about them?  And I hardly think gossip is high on Chloe's worry list right now.  So why don't you quit lying to yourself and tell me what's really the matter?"

Brady grimaced at Greta's ability to see into him, even to things he didn't necessarily want to see himself.  His eyes once again sought out Chloe as she talked with Belle and Shawn, one arm wrapped around Meghan's shoulders.  She looked wretched.  Dark circles under her eyes were proof of many sleepless nights.  The little makeup she wore did nothing to hide the pallor of her skin, the hollow look in her eyes.

"I don't know what to say to her," he admitted finally.  "There's not a damn thing I can do for her, Greta.  I'm afraid anything I do say will come from my own selfish motives.  I'm afraid that she buried herself beside Philip today, that she's so convinced of her own guilt that she's given up on life.  I'm afraid of never seeing the light come back into her eyes.  I'm afraid of lots of things."  He shrugged his shoulders helplessly as he finished.

Much to his surprise, Greta turned on him.  "Brady Black, you are an idiot!"  When he tried to protest, she went on unheedingly.  "You know what Chloe said to me the day before Philip died?  She said she was tired of letting what-ifs rule her life.  And that's exactly what you're doing.  Quit overanalyzing this so much.  The woman you love is hurting.  She needs you.  Maybe just as a friend, as a shoulder to cry on.  But I've never known you to not be there when someone you love needs you.  So go to talk to her and worry about the rest of it as it comes."  She gave him a small shove in Chloe's direction for emphasis. 

Brady smiled wryly at her.  Leave it to Greta to get his head on straight.  When the rest of the world went crazy, she had a way of making sense.  "Okay.  You win.  But if Salem breaks into civil war over this, I'm laying all the blame at your door."  Greta made a small hmph-ing sound and looked pointedly from him to Chloe.  Brady laughed, obediently following her silent directive.

Brady ignored the angry, offended glances of the Salemites as he made his way to Chloe.  Greta was right.  All that mattered was being there for Chloe right now.  She looked at him long before he reached her.  Their gazes met and locked.  He saw so much mingled in her eyes, emotions he never wanted his Diva to experience again.  The stress of getting through this day was beginning to show as well.  Too much more of this and her façade of control would crack.

"Hey, Brady," Belle greeted him with forced cheerfulness, her eyes worriedly assessing the buzzing crowd around them.  What the hell was Brady doing?  Did he want to cause a scene?

He didn't bother responding to his sister's words, any more than he did to the questioning glances on the faces of the Wesleys.  "Do you want to get out of here?" he asked, his eyes only on Chloe.

Chloe hesitated a moment, looking around at the varying emotions flickering across everyone's faces, before settling back on Brady.  Let them think the worst.  They would anyway.  And if she didn't get out of this room soon, she was going to go mad.  "Yes," she said, her relief evident in her tone.  "Yes, Brady.  Take me away."

Brady nodded, his gaze drifting down to Meghan by her side.  "Ready to go, Meghan?"  Her face reflected the joy of youth at Brady and Chloe finally making progress.

"Actually, Craig and I wanted to take her home with us," Nancy jumped in before Meghan could respond, her eyes moving from her daughter to Brady with dancing glee to rival Meghan's.  "If that's all right with you of course, Brady."

"Oh, please can I?" Meghan begged, looking imploringly up at Brady.  She immediately caught on to Mrs. Wesley's scheme.  Chloe and Brady needed all the help they could get.

"Sure.  Why not?" Brady agreed, secretly relieved to have this time alone his Diva.  "Thanks, Mrs. Wesley.  Chloe, ready?"

Chloe nodded and said goodbyes to her parents, the Bradys, and Greta and grabbed her coat, before making her way quickly out of there with Brady.  She ignored the disapproving stares.  She lacked the energy to care.  As soon as they made it out the front door, she inhaled deeply of the biting winter air.  "That house stifles me," she commented, more to herself than to Brady.

Brady just nodded his understanding and brought her to his car—not the jeep, Chloe noted to her secret disappointment.  He opened the door for her and waited until she was settled inside before getting in himself and starting the engine.  They drove in silence for awhile, but it wasn't uncomfortable.  Chloe found herself actually relaxing for the first time since that dreadful night.  It was nice to not be expected to talk, expected to be strong, expected to be…anything.  With Brady, she could just let go and let him take care of her for a while.

"Thank you," she said gratefully after blessed minutes of silence.  "I don't think I could have handled much more of that."  Everyone had been staring, so sure of her guilt.  Like she needed them to remind her it was all her fault.  She could never forget it.  

"I know," he replied simply.  "And you don't have to thank me.  I needed to escape too."  If he had heard one more person say what a great guy Philip was, he would have given them a bloody nose.  At the very least.

Chloe smiled slightly without quite knowing the reason.  Her heart felt lighter than it had in a long time.  She knew this was just a temporary idyll.  Her brain was on overload and needed to shut down for a few hours before the next round of guilt, grief, and tortured memories.  But she was grateful for it for however long it lasted, grateful that Brady was here to watch over her.  He was always there when she needed him. 

~~*~~

Part of her mind registered that it probably wasn't the wisest decision to enter Brady Black's apartment with him, alone.  But it was the part she'd been ignoring for the last half-hour.  Besides, it's not like anything would happen.  Brady was just taking care of her.  What did it matter what the Salem gossips said?  They already had enough ammunition to destroy her anyway.  

Chloe surveyed the place appreciatively.  It was the first time she'd ever been to Brady's penthouse apartment, and it was gorgeous.  A real fireplace occupied one wall of the large, open front room.  A spiral staircase led up to the bedrooms.  The whole place was bright and airy, in perfect counterpoint to the dark, depressing atmosphere of the Kiriakis mansion.

Without a word, Brady removed her black coat and hung it up.  She looked so small and frail, the black of her dress setting her apart from the cream-colored room.  All he wanted was to gather her in his arms and hold her so close that nothing would ever be able to hurt her again.  But he knew he couldn't.  That was the hell of it.  He looked towards the kitchen, desperate for something to do.  "Want something to drink?  Coffee, tea, hot chocolate?"

Chloe smiled weakly.  "Tea sounds good," she managed, as he took her hand and led her to the kitchen.  Her hand rested limply in his, cold and fragile, as everything about her seemed now.  She sat at the small table in the breakfast nook and watched him prepare a cup of tea exactly the way she liked.  Was there anything this man didn't know about her?  Were there any limits to what he would do for her?  "Thank you."

Her soft, pain-ridden voice caused him to stop and turn to face her.  Her eyes weren't hollow anymore.  They were so alive and filled with seas of pain.  "Chloe, don't thank me," he ordered gently.  "I couldn't do any less for you."

It was more than she could bear.  The way he was looking at her was more painful by a hundred times than the glares of all the others.  That love, that concern would be her undoing.  She didn't deserve to be loved like that.  She didn't deserve to be happy.  And Brady deserved that and so much more.  He deserved everything she had never been able to give him.  She had caused him nothing but pain.  Like with everyone else who loved her.  Like her parents.  Like Philip.   "Please, don't, Brady," she said in a near whisper.

He set the tea in front of her and took the seat across from her.  "Don't what, Chloe?" he pried softly.   "Don't take care of you?  Don't love you?  Don't want you to be happy?  You might as well tell the stars to stop shining or the seasons to change.  I'm always going to be here to take care of you, Chloe.  For as long as you will possibly let me."

She hated the fire that formed in her heart at his words.  She hated the feeling of hope it gave her.  She hated how it made every fiber of her body come alive with love for him.  She wasn't allowed to feel this anymore.  She wasn't allowed to get on with her life.  Not anymore.  Not after what she had done.  "I don't want you to take care of me," she said, cursing the tremor in her voice that belied her words.

The corners of Brady's mouth turned up slightly, not believing her for a minute.  Chloe had convinced herself she owed some sort of penance for Philip's suicide.  But Brady would be damned before he let her throw any more of her life away on that bastard.  It would take time, he knew; but he would make her come to see the truth—that there was no one to blame but Philip for his suicide.

"Drink your tea," he instructed tenderly.  "It will make you feel better.  I'll get you something to change into."  Her funeral dress couldn't be comfortable at all.  Not to mention of all that it would remind her of.

Chloe blushed at his soft, concerned tone.  It would be easy—too easy—to let Brady just take care of her.  But she couldn't do that to him.  She owed him too much as it was.  He had the right to move on with his life and be happy.  She didn't have that right.  She had lost it when she sent Philip the divorce papers that had pushed him over the edge.  "It's all right, Brady," she declined forcefully.  "I can't stay too long anyway."

"Why not?" Brady asked bluntly, correctly reading her desire to escape as yet one more method of punishing herself.  If he didn't look out for her, she would push herself until she snapped.

"I just can't, Brady," she said, near hysterically.  Why did he keep pushing?  Why couldn't he just let her do what had to be done?  "I have to clean up the mansion before it's closed, and…and pay the caterer…and say goodbye to everyone…and…and…"  She was trembling now, the guilt and pressure catching up to her.

Brady calmly took her shaking hands in his.  His touch seemed to sooth her slightly.  "Craig and Nancy will take care of everything, Chloe.  You're going to take a well-deserved rest.  You've been pushing yourself and punishing yourself since you first heard the news.  Now, finish your tea.  I'm going to run you a bath and find you something to wear."

"Brady, no," she refused, less vigorously this time.  A bath sounded heavenly right about now.  A chance to wash away all the events of the past few weeks—no, the past five and a half years—and be clean and whole again.  But she couldn't.  If she wasn't strong now, how could she expect herself to be strong later?  "You shouldn't do this.  Not for me."

"Why, Chloe?  Because you don't think you're worth it?"  Brady gently tipped up her chin, despising the self-loathing he saw in her sapphire eyes.  "Listen to me, Diva.  You deserve all the love and care and happiness in the world.  Now, just let me take care of you for a little while.  I don't want you to think about anything until you're ready to think about it rationally and listen to the truth of what I'm telling you."

Chloe nodded obediently, letting the balm of Brady's love momentarily protect her from the tortured thoughts that had been her constant companions for the past week.  She wouldn't focus on what would confront her tomorrow and the next day and every day for the rest of her life.  She didn't want to think about it.  Brady was here now.  It was enough.


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

Chloe examined herself critically in Brady's bathroom mirror.  She suddenly realized it was the first time she had truly looked at herself since that night.  She was afraid to meet her own eyes.  They would condemn her, she knew.  They would tell her that she, and she alone, was responsible for Philip's death.  She might as well have murdered him with her own two hands.

But as she reluctantly stared at her own reflection, she didn't see that.  She was only the eyes of a stranger.  A hollow, dead stranger.  She was more distant from being Chloe Lane now than she had been as Mrs. Kiriakis.  She smiled bitterly, recalling how dreadful she had considered her life for so long.  She hadn't had a clue then what true misery was.

"God, is this all there is?" she breathed aloud.  "Is my life just one big cosmic joke?"  She understood now how Philip could have reached a place where he was capable of taking his own life.  She felt that same desperation inside her, that hopelessness of having lost everything.  

_But you haven't lost everything, a voice inside her said.  __You still have Brady.  She hated that voice.  It taunted her, haunted her no matter how hard she tried to silence it.  It was a voice of hope, of life, of love.  But she couldn't have that.  Not now.  __Why not?  Philip's dead.  That doesn't mean you are too.  Don't throw your last chance at love away on an impossible penance you've set for yourself._

"Shut up!" Chloe hissed.  She deserved to live without love, to lose Brady, to lose everything.  After what she'd done to Philip, no penance would be enough.  She had absolutely destroyed Philip.  Who was to say she wouldn't do the exact same thing to Brady?

_Philip destroyed himself, the soft, rational voice told her.  __There was no way you could have stopped.  He was insane.  He proved that years ago with his manipulations.  He was a time bomb.  He was going to explode sooner or later._

"And I lit the fuse," she objected, her voice loud enough to startle her out of her thoughts.  She laughed mirthlessly.  "Well, I'm having conversations with myself now.  Maybe I am following Philip down the road to insanity."  Pulling herself out of her morose mood, Chloe once again looked in the mirror, this time confronting more aesthetic concerns.  She was dressed in a pair of grey sweatpants and a giant Chicago Bulls sweatshirt.  She felt strangely comforted knowing they belonged to Brady.  Yet more proof of how he took care of her, protected her.

She was safe in his clothes, in his apartment.  All she would have to do to was to go downstairs and she would be safe in his arms.  The only place she wasn't safe was in her own skin.  She wanted to run away as far as she could.  She could run away from Salem.  She could run away from all she knew, everyone and everything familiar, but she could never escape herself.  She could never leave her memories behind.  She needed to quit thinking these things or she would go mad.  She had to talk to Brady.  If nothing else, he would make her see things clearly again.  He always did.

Chloe slipped out of the bathroom, hesitating at the top of the stairs.  She heard noises coming from downstairs and followed them back to the kitchen.  She also followed the familiar scent of sizzling bacon.  A bittersweet smile flickered across her face as she slipped through the door and found Brady slicing tomatoes.  Had there ever been a more perfect man?  "You're still slicing those too thick," she scolded.

Brady heard the smile in her voice before he saw it on her face.  He grinned as he looked up at her.  In his old sweats, with her hair down and damp, her face devoid of makeup, and dark circles under her eyes, his Diva was still the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.  After all this time, she still took his breath away.  "Hey, Diva.  Feeling any better now?"  

"Yes," she lied.  He didn't need to know about the swirling thoughts that wouldn't cease tormenting her, not when he was trying so hard to make things better for her.  "Thanks, Brady.  You really didn't have to do any of this."

"I want to, Chloe," Brady said softly.  "You deserve to be spoiled, especially now.  So why don't you sit down while I finish making these BLTs?  And don't even try to tell me you're not hungry.  And if you're a good girl and eat your dinner all gone, there's some mocha chip ice cream for dessert."

Chloe laughed.  "I see fatherhood is already rubbing off on you."  Instead of following his directions, Chloe went to the stove to take care of the bacon.  She just knew Brady would burn it.  He always did.  She smiled slightly when she saw the packaging.  "Turkey bacon?"

Brady shrugged sheepishly.  "I guess I got used to it," he admitted.  "There's some coleslaw in the fridge too."  Everything they needed for a perfect evening.  Just like the old days.  Except it would never be that way again.  They would never have that carefree innocence again.  They hadn't even realized how precious there time was together when they'd had it.  And now, it was too late.  Too much had happened.

As they worked in companionable silence, Chloe tried to think of a topic for conversation that wouldn't turn back around to Philip.  "So how do you like being Papa Brady?  How's it working out?"

"Good, I think.  Meghan's so great," Brady said with a fond smile.  "You know that, of course.  There's something extraordinary about her, even beyond her talent.  She hasn't let the tragedies in her life ruin her bright spirit.  She understands things that people twice her age still haven't figured out.  I think I learn more from her than she could ever learn from me."

Chloe felt a rush of envy surge through her.  Brady and Meghan had found something precious in each other.  A family.  And they might have been her family too.  But she had made an inescapable mess of her life.  Even Brady couldn't fix it.  She couldn't let him.  "Yeah.  You couldn't ask for a better kid than Meghan," she replied honestly, putting aside any fleeting resentment.  "And she couldn't have a better father than you, Brady."

Brady seemed uncomfortable with her praise.  He busied himself putting the sandwiches together.  "I don't know.  I mean, it's a big jump from a bachelor to the father of a ten year old.  It's a weird adjustment for both of us, I think, getting used to this whole father/daughter thing.  I'm really not sure how to handle the whole structure and discipline thing.  I always got to be the big brother, you know?  The one who spoils them and protects them, but doesn't really have to deal with the real responsibility of raising a child.  Now, I'm the final authority.  If she turns out totally screwed up, it's my fault.  The whole concept is terrifying."

Chloe was struck by the gentle expression on Brady's face.  It was the same way that Craig looked at her and John looked at Belle.  Meghan was Brady's daughter now.  "Don't worry, Brady," she reassured him.  "Believe me, you're going to be a great dad.  It's easy to tell how much you love Meghan.  And you can't go wrong by loving a child.  That's all that counts in the long run.  And like you said, Meghan is special.  She'll make allowances for your mistakes."

Brady nodded, as he scarfed down his first BLT.  It always surprised her how much and how fast Brady could eat.  She had barely started hers.  "I hope you're right.  But Chloe, I don't think we really need to talk about Meghan right now.  I think it's time to talk about you, and how you're doing."  He saw by the way that she concentrated on her sandwich that was the last thing she wanted to do.  But he wasn't going to let her leave here still believing that Philip's suicide was her fault.

Chloe shrugged, avoiding meeting his eyes.  "I'm fine, Brady.  I mean, it's been rough, but I'll get through it.  I'll just wake one morning, snap my fingers and forget that I drove my husband to suicide.  You'll see.  It'll be fine."  She knew she sounded bitter and defensive, but that's how she felt.  And she had learned long ago the pointlessness of trying to hide her emotions from Brady.  He always knew anyway.  

Brady cupped her neck with both hands, forcing her to look into his eyes.  "Chloe, have I ever lied to you?  Ever?"

"No," she answered hesitantly.  Where the hell was he going with this?  She knew he was leading her somewhere she probably didn't want to follow.

"And you know I never would, right?  I'll always tell you the truth, no matter the cost."  His blue eyes looked straight into hers, clear and unclouded.  

Oh no.  He was going to tell her it was her fault.  Even Brady knew it was her fault.  Even Brady blamed her.  "Yes, Brady.  I know."  Her voice was barely a whisper as she braced herself for the words that would demolish the last of her stricken sense of hope.

"Good.  Then listen to me," he commanded, the power of his eyes holding her still.  "None of this was your fault.  Philip put this all in motion years ago when he kept you out of Julliard.  He was insane even back then.  There are no lengths he wouldn't go to in order to keep you to himself; and in his confused mind that included suicide.  He made that choice, as he made every other stupid, selfish decision, on his own.  You aren't responsible."

Chloe shook her head, freeing herself from Brady's grasp and refusing to recognize the truth in his words.  "Someone's got to be responsible, Brady.  We can't blame Philip anymore.  He's dead."  She winced as the weight of that statement sank in.  "I should have done something.  I should have gotten him on medication, or some professional help.  Something.  But no, I was just so happy to finally be free, I never once thought of Philip, of all that he must be suffering."

"Your reaction was justified, Chloe," Brady argued, determined to make her see sense.  "Don't you see?  He spent years manipulating you at every turn.  This is just another manipulation.  Truthfully, I'm not even sure he meant to kill himself, Chloe.  My guess is he thought he could survive the fall, and that his attempted suicide would bring you back to his side."

"You want to know something?" Chloe responded distantly, not looking at him, and not even seeming to have heard his words.  "The whole time I kept telling myself he was dead, but I don't think I ever believed it.  In the back of my mind, I still thought it was some sort of cheap trick.  That he was off somewhere, plotting a way to get back into my life.  Until I went to L.A..  Until I entered that morgue.  He was just there on that cold metal slab.  And his eyes, Brady…they were open and clear and completely unseeing.  I just kept waiting for him to breathe or blink or jump up and say 'Boo' or something…anything…"

"Chloe," Brady began, rubbing her back soothingly.

She shied away from his touch and went on unheedingly.  "I can't sleep, Brady.  Every time I sleep I can see him.  And he reaches for me, and he grabs me.  But he's so cold, Brady.  And his eyes are so dead.  You see?  He wins even now.  Even now, he won't let go of me.  He never will.  He always said I was his forever, and he was right."

The distant, hollow tone of her voice sent chills down Brady's spine.  She seemed so lost, so adrift in her emotions of guilt and grief and fear that she didn't even know which way was up anymore.  He grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently, breathing a sigh of relief when her eyes regained focus.  They settled on him, filling with tears.  "I just want it all to end, Brady.  When's it going to be over?  When can I be free?"

Brady drew her into his arms and let her weep freely.  She laid her head on his shoulder and clung tightly to him, her fingers bunching up his shirt.  He stroked her hair softly with his hand.  "That's right, Chloe," he whispered.  "Just cry now.  Let it all out, my love.  It is over now.  You just don't know it yet.  You're safe now.  He can't cause you anymore pain.  Never again."

"But…but…Philip…" Chloe gasped between sobs.  She couldn't form the words.  Her mind was too exhausted.  All she could do was cry passionately, unrestrainedly.  

But Brady understood.  "Philip's war is over now too, Chloe.  Maybe that's all he wanted.  For it to be over.  I'm sure he never blamed you, Chloe."  He would say no more.  He wouldn't be a hypocrite and feed her lies about the fate Philip was facing now.  He didn't have a clue; and frankly, he didn't want to know.

Apparently it satisfied Chloe though.  He felt her head nod against his shoulder as she continued to cry.  She cried with the hysteria that had been building in her for so long.  She wept with such force Brady was afraid she would be sick.  She cried until there were no tears left, until she felt she would never be able to cry again.  And then, the tears stopped, the sobs quieted, and she rested, passive and spent, in Brady's arm.

Eventually, she pulled away.  Her whole face was red and puffy, and she seemed embarrassed by her breakdown.  "I'm sorry, she muttered.  "I soaked your shirt."  Her eyes seemed locked to the spot on his shoulder wet by her tears.

"Don't worry about it, Diva.  Don't you feel better getting everything out like that?"  She nodded silently, still not meeting his eyes.  "Then, it's worth it.  You're more than entitled to a mind-breakdown.  Or even a major one, if you feel like it."  He smiled slightly at her, seeing her relax a little.  He had a hopeful feeling that they had just passed the hardest part.  It would be a long, slow journey; but Chloe would make it through this. 

"I guess I should be going home," Chloe began finally, though leaving Brady was the last thing she wanted to do.  She wanted to stay here with Brady, let him take care of her and help her through this.  But he'd done too much for her already.  She couldn't be his burden forever.  It wasn't fair to him.

"Don't go," Brady said, half-plea, half-command.  He didn't want her to go.  He wanted her here where he could take care of her, for his sake as well as hers.  He felt better when she was near him, complete somehow.  He had stopped trying to analyze the feeling a long time ago.  She was the other half of him, the reflection of his soul.  That was all there was to it.  No matter what had changed throughout the years that never would.  

Chloe looked at him skeptically, hiding the glee she felt at his honest desire to keep her near him.  "Nancy and Craig are probably wondering where I am."  She knew what an obvious lie that was.  Nancy would be overjoyed at her prolonged absence, and Brady knew it too.  He grinned a decidedly roguish grin at her.  She blushed.  "And Meghan I'm sure wants to come home."

Brady shook his head, chuckling.  "I called to check up on her while you were taking a bath.  She and your mother were making chocolate chip cookies before game night.  Meghan had a whole list of them she wanted to play.  Quit with the excuses, Chloe.  Do you want to stay or not?  It's up to you."

She smiled weakly.  Trust Brady to get to the heart of the matter.  "I want to stay," she admitted.  "That's what scares me.  If I stay much longer, I might never leave."  

Brady felt his pulse take off.  She confessed that she wanted to stay with him.  Forever.  He forced himself to remember that now was most definitely not the time to be thinking romantically about her.  She needed him as a friend right now.  That was all.  He noticed their empty plates and saw a chance to lighten the mood.  "I think I promised you some ice cream."  He jumped up, taking their plates to the sink before heading to the freezer for some mocha chip.

She moaned, her mouth already watering at the concept.  It had been too long since she'd had mocha chip ice cream.  Philip had always liked Neapolitan.  So for five years, Chloe had compliantly consumed it, without once mentioning she hated strawberry ice cream.  "You are too good to me, Brady," she said lightly, but she meant it on so many different levels.

Brady grinned.  "Why don't you go find something to watch while I dish us up some ice cream bowls?"  He knew she needed something fun after her emotional upheaval today.  That's how it had always been with Chloe.  She needed balance between the highs and lows of her life.  She needed moments to just forget about all the bad things and stress she had to deal with.  

"Okay," Chloe agreed, heading out of the kitchen to take control of the television.  

By the time Brady joined her, she already had her movie on.  Brady groaned when he saw.  "What the hell is this?  Why in the world would you pick this movie out?"  

Chloe rolled her eyes, taking her bowl of ice cream from him.  "Be quiet, Black.  I don't see what you're complaining about.  It's not like I'm forcing you to watch a chick flick.  It's a guy movie."

Brady sank down next to her, giving her a knowing glance.  "Exactly.  Which is why I know there's some guy in this movie you're crazy about.  That's the only way you'd be watching this.  So who is it?"

Chloe smiled guiltily.  "Colin Farrell.  He's so gorgeous, with those smoldering eyes.  And he's got that Irish accent that's just to die for.  He's just…"  She slowly took a bit of ice cream and let it melt in her mouth, as she watched Brady's reaction.  "…yummy."

Brady felt an unaccountable surge of irritation, despite the fact that he knew she was just trying to annoy him.  And he knew he should be glad her spirits were raising enough to be playful again.  "One more comment like that, young lady; and I'm taking your ice cream away," he threatened, only half-teasing.  

"Aww, did big bad Brady Black's ego take a beating?" Chloe cooed in mock sympathy.  "Don't worry, sweetie.  You know I always did prefer blondes."  She couldn't believe she was flirting with Brady only minutes after telling herself that she had to cut him out of her life forever.  But she didn't want to think about it right now.  She didn't want to drive herself crazy thinking about consequences and potential consequences of it.  She just wanted to be for now.

Brady raised his eyebrows, pleasantly surprised by her mischievousness.  He opened his mouth to continue the playful flirtation when the phone rang.  "Hello?...Are you sure, Mrs. Wesley?...Well, yes, it would be all right…You're welcome.  Did you want to talk to her?...Okay.  Tell Meghan I love her….Thanks.  I'm sure she'll love it….Bye."

"What did my mom want?" Chloe asked, managing to pull her eyes away from Colin for the shortest of moments.  A girl had to have priorities, after all.

"Meghan wants to spend the night over there.  Mrs. Wesley was calling to make sure it was all right with me."  He repeated the story Nancy had fed him.  He hadn't bought it anymore than Chloe apparently did.  Her face flamed bright red.  Only her mother would have the audacity to pull something like this a week after her husband died.  Brady smiled reassuringly at her, letting her know that he for one wasn't in on the conspiracy.  "Okay.  Let's watch this crappy movie.  But I swear, if I see your tongue hanging out of your mouth over this guy, the TV is going out the window."

~~*~~

Brady clicked the TV off with the remote as the credits started to roll.  He looked down at his Diva, sleeping curled in his arms.  Apparently, even the charms of Colin Farrell hadn't been enough to hold off her exhaustion any longer.  Her face looked so untroubled, and he knew this was the first time she'd truly rested peacefully since that horrid night.  

He cradled her in his arms as he carried her up the stairs to his bedroom.  As he set her down on the bed, she stirred and her eyes fluttered open, still befuddled from sleep.  "Shh, Diva," he soothed, brushing her hair back from her face and tucking her in.  "Just sleep."

She latched onto his arm as he turned to leave.  "Stay with me, Brady," she pleaded.  She knew he was the only thing standing between her and her nightmares.  Only being held in his arms would give her the security she craved.

Brady nodded, slipping off his shoes, socks, and shirt and climbing into bed next to her.  Strangely enough, there wasn't anything remotely sexually enticing about it.  She looked like a child, more scared, wounded, and vulnerable than even Meghan.  As soon as he slid in next to her, Chloe put her arm around his waist, using his chest as a pillow.  She closed her eyes, letting the steady beat of his heart drown out all her fears and lull her into a deep and blissfully dreamless sleep.


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

The sound of girlish giggles finally pulled Chloe back to consciousness the next day.  She groaned as she rolled over, disappointed that Brady wasn't still beside her.  He had filled her spirit with his presence, and she felt bereft without him.  She blinked her eyes open slowly, not quite willing to give up the comfort of the most restful sleep she'd had in years.

Stretching and yawning, Chloe glanced sleepily at the clock.  12:32.  She shot up, all thoughts of waking slowly forgotten.  She hadn't slept in this late since before she was married.  Philip had always liked to have breakfast with her before he went to work, which meant she rarely slept in past eight.  And this past week she hadn't slept at all.  Why had Brady let her be so lazy? 

A soft knock sounded on the door.  Then, without waiting for an answer, the door clicked open and a small head peeked in.  "Oh, good!  You're awake," Meghan squealed excitedly, practically bouncing across the room and onto the bed.  "I've been dying to see you, but Brady said you needed to sleep.  He said—"

"Meghan," a voice from the doorway scolded affectionately.  "I thought I told you not to bother Chloe."  Brady flashed Chloe an apologetic smile.  "I'm sorry, Diva.  Did this little imp wake you up?"  

Meghan rolled her eyes.  "No, I did not," she answered huffily.  "Chloe was awake when I came in, weren't you, Chloe?"  Two sets of eyes, one blue, one brown, locked in on Chloe's face waiting for her to speak her first words of the day.

Chloe blinked dazedly several times, before her mind cleared enough for speech.  "Yes, Brady.  It's fine.  I was waking up already when she came in."  She smiled at Meghan, smoothing down the girl's wavy blonde hair.  "I'm glad Meghan's here.  Did you have fun with my parents yesterday?"  

Meghan nodded her head enthusiastically several times, beaming.  "They're so cool, Chloe!  We had popcorn and cookies, and we played board games.  I won Clue three times in a row," she boasted proudly.

"You didn't play Monopoly by any chance, did you, Meghan?" Brady asked, winking conspiratorially at Chloe, who smiled fondly in remembrance.

"Monopoly?"  Meghan wrinkled her nose in distaste.  "No way!  I hate that game.  It's so boring."  Brady had a look of such horror on his face that Chloe giggled.  Meghan looked in confusion from one to the other.  "What?  What's the matter?"

"That's just not allowed, Meghan dear," Chloe told her with mock severity, as her hand crept back towards the pillow, unnoticed.  "No child who grows up with us can hate Monopoly.  It's sacrilege.  This child needs to be punished, wouldn't you agree, Brady?"

"Absolutely," Brady confirmed, a mischievous gleam in his eyes as he saw what Chloe was planning.  He walked further into the room, so he too was in easy reach of a pillow.  Meghan's mouth hung open in shock.  Had they both gone crazy?  All she had said was that she didn't like some dumb board game.  Where was the capital offense in that?

"Ready?" Chloe asked, her expression still unaccountably serious.  Brady nodded.  "Now!"  Without warning, two pillows swung into Meghan from opposite directions, knocking her onto the bed.  

"Hey, not fair!" Meghan protested.  "I wasn't ready."  She quickly grabbed the last pillow and hit Chloe in the head with it.

"Oh, now you're asking for it," Chloe proclaimed.  What followed was a pillow fight of unprecedented proportions that ended only when one of the pillows burst, and the laughing trio found themselves covered in feathers.  They sank onto the bed, breathing heavily as they struggled to stifle their laughter.  

Finally, Meghan sat up from her position in the middle and eyed Chloe speculatively.  "Chloe, are you going to come live with us now?" she asked, gentle pleading and childish innocence reflected in her serious question.

Chloe sat up, sputtering, and not from a stray feather in her mouth.  She cast a glance at Brady, but he was still lying down, using his elbow to support his face.  He was unperturbed by Meghan's question and simply waited patiently for Chloe's answer.  "No, Meghan, I'm not," she said, with as much force as she could muster.  It was made all the more difficult by the images the thought inspired.  Images of her, Brady, and Meghan gathered around the table together, eating, talking, laughing.  Images of her and Brady listening as Meghan played the piano.  Images of the three of them cuddled on a sofa, watching TV and sharing a giant bowl of popcorn.  Images of a family.  

"I should actually be going now," she suddenly decided.  The longer she stayed, the longer she wanted to.  She should never have come in the first place.  It was a bad idea, rife with temptations, and absolutely guaranteed to raise that worst of all dreaded questions, 'what if'.  "I need to get home, change, see my parents, all of that."

Brady stood quickly, blocking her path.  And yet, she didn't feel blocked.  She didn't feel controlled, as she would have had Philip done such a thing.  The way Brady smiled at her made all of her resolve melt away.  "Don't worry about it, Chloe," he reassured her.  "Craig dropped by some stuff for you when he dropped off Meghan.  He was on his way to work, and your mother was going shopping in Chicago.  So why don't you spend the day with Meghan and me?"

"Yes, Chloe, please?" Meghan begged, grabbing hold of Chloe's hand and looking up at her with puppy-dog eyes that put Philip's best try to shame.  How could anyone say no to that?  Especially when all Chloe really needed was an excuse to stay with them forever.

~~*~~

Chloe descended the stairs half an hour later, dressed in the jeans and purple sweatshirt Craig had brought over.  She missed the comfort and security of Brady's clothes.  Still, she felt fresher, more alive, more ready to cope than she had since she had first been told Philip was dead.  She shoved the thought of Philip aside, determined not to dwell on it today.  She couldn't break down in front of Meghan the way she had with Brady.  She wouldn't scar that little girl anymore.

Chloe found Brady and Meghan in the kitchen, just setting out a lunch of soup and sandwiches.  She smiled at the homey scene, committing it to memory.  She would need to remember such things to keep her strong, to give her something to dream of.  She had too many nightmares and too few dreams.  And no dream seemed quite so beautiful or quite as impossible as that of a family.  Not just a family.  This family.  This was what she wanted.  Brady and Meghan around her every day for the rest of her life.

Brady turned, catching the wistful look on Chloe's face before she wiped it carefully away.  It didn't matter though.  He had seen.  He knew.  Why didn't she come right out and say it?  Didn't she know yet how much he loved her, how much he needed her in his life?  He didn't know how much clearer he could make it.  He was running out of ways to show her how much he still loved her, how precious and priceless she was to him.  Why wouldn't she just reach out and take the hand he extended to her?  He wanted nothing more than to pull her out of the mire of self-loathing, guilt, and fear that Philip had dropped her in.  All she had to do was let him.

"Hey, Chloe," Meghan said cheerfully, breaking into the thoughts of both adults.  "Ready for lunch?  Because I'm starving."  Meghan sat down and dived into her food.  She wasn't used to lunch being after one o'clock.

Chloe smiled, taking her seat and watching Meghan shovel food into her mouth in very unladylike fashion.  "I can see that.  Don't you ever feed this child, Brady?" she teased.

Brady rolled his eyes, as he too sat down.  "Yeah, poor Meghan.  She's just withering away.  What did you have for breakfast again, honey?  French toast and scrambled eggs, if I remember correctly."

Meghan smiled sheepishly as she wolfed down a large chunk of her sandwich.  "I'm a growing girl.  I need constant nourishment," she stated confidently.

Chloe laughed.  "Looks like she really is just the right daughter for you, Brady.  Two bottomless pits."

Meghan giggled, looking adoringly at Chloe.  "I'm really glad you stayed, Chloe.  We're going to have so much fun together.  Like Thanksgiving at your house, only without Philip to ruin it."  Immediately realizing her mistake, Meghan slapped a hand in front of her mouth, her eyes widening in horror.  "Oh, Chloe, I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean to…."

Chloe waved her apology away.  "It's all right, Meghan.  I know you didn't mean anything by it.  It was just a slip of the tongue."  She managed a weak smile for Meghan's benefit, but Brady saw through it to the still bleeding wound in Chloe's heart.

Meghan nodded, slightly reassured, though still feeling awkward and embarrassed.  She didn't know how to react to Philip's suicide.  Having gone through the loss of her parents so young, she was unusually sensitive to death for a child her age.  But how to feel sorry for a man she hadn't even liked, who had been cruel to Chloe, and who had taken his own life was beyond her comprehension.  

And even worse, she didn't know how to sympathize with Chloe.  She had no way of understanding the guilt Chloe was feeling now.  All she knew was that Chloe's husband was dead; but Chloe's soon to be ex-husband who she didn't love.  And all Meghan wanted was for Chloe and Brady to move on and put this behind them, so that the three of them could be a family.

Chloe bit her lip as she watched Meghan and Brady eat.  She needed to tell them.  Now.  Before she lost her nerve.  "Um," she began awkwardly.  Brady and Meghan immediately focused all their attention on her.  "I just want to thank you.  You two have been so good to me.  So much better than I deserve."  Seeing Brady about to object, she went on quickly, "And I'm so glad the three of us have this time together today.  There's something I need to tell you."

Brady's blue eyes probed relentlessly into her, knowing before she spoke that her news was bad.  How much more disasters could they possibly take?  Meghan too seemed wary of her announcement.  She sat, frozen, as she braced herself for the worst.  "What is it, Chloe?" Brady asked softly.  

"Well, I just…I feel I owe it to you to tell you in person that…that I'm leaving Salem," she finished in one breath, quickly averting her eyes.  Of all the people who would be affected by this, these were the two people she most dreaded telling.  They were the one she didn't think she could survive without.

"What?" Meghan exclaimed, tears immediately welling in her chocolate eyes.  "No, Chloe!  You can't."  She pulled on Brady's arm, her expression panicked and afraid.  "Tell her she can't, Brady.  Make her stay.  We can be a family.  I know we can."

Chloe felt her heart shatter into a million irreparable pieces at Meghan's words.  She wanted nothing more than to be a family with them.  But it couldn't be.  Not now.  Not after everything that had happened.  She watched as Brady gathered Meghan into his arms and soothed her, stroking her hair and whispering words of comfort.  But his eyes were locked on Chloe's and filled with a question that burned her.

"Chloe can make her own decisions, Meghan," Brady said finally, when Meghan seemed a little bit more in control.  Whatever he was feeling at Chloe's words, he kept it hidden deep inside.  "But it might help if you told us some more about this, Chloe.  Like where you're going."

She noticed he didn't ask why she was going.  He already knew.  Brady always knew.  "Um, it's a little retreat community in Oregon.  Craig arranged it all.  It will be good for me.  Fresh mountain air.  Near the ocean.  New people, a change of scene."  Ahs she spoke, Chloe wondered whether she was trying to convince them or herself.  When she had told her parents she wanted to get away, she had been at her lowest point.  But now, she wasn't sure if leaving would help solve her problems or just run away from them.

"So it's just a vacation?" Meghan put in, with obvious relief.  Chloe and Brady exchanged looks over her head.  How to make her understand?  Hadn't she dealt with enough loss in her life?

"No, sweetheart," Chloe replied solemnly.  "I'm moving there.  I need to get away from Salem.  It's just something I have to do.  Please understand."  Her eyes begged Meghan for forgiveness and justification.  

"I don't understand," Meghan returned crossly, purposely ignoring Chloe's silent plea.  "Why can't you stay here?  Just because Philip died?  Your parents are still here.  So am I.  And Brady, and Greta, and Belle.  Why can't you stay with us?"

"I just can't Meghan," Chloe said, struggling to keep her voice from shaking with the emotions she needed so desperately to control.  "I'm sorry."

"But—"

"Let it be, Meghan," Brady interrupted her.  His eyes were locked on Chloe's pale, strained face.  She shot him a grateful look.

"But Brady, you don't want Chloe to leave, do you?" Meghan asked incredulously.  He couldn't.  He couldn't let Chloe leave them.  Not her hero Brady.  Brady always made everything right.  Hadn't he done that for her?  He had to do the same for Chloe.  He just had to.

"Of course not, Meghan," Brady said gently, but he was still looking only at Chloe.  "I think it would be a terrible thing if Chloe moved, for all of us."  He abruptly shifted his attention back to his daughter, smiling slightly.  "But that's not for now.  And it's not for use to decide.  Give Chloe a chance to make up her own mind.  In the meantime, we have a whole day with Chloe ahead of us.  Now, how should we spend it?"

While Meghan rattled off her to-do list for the day, Chloe watched Brady, her azure eyes welling with tears of gratitude.  Philip had made every decision of her life for five long years.  Or he'd manipulated her into doing things his way.  She'd almost forgotten what it was like to be respected as having a mind of her own.  Loved enough to be given the freedom to make her own choices.  Even if they were choices that would tear his heart apart.  Her heart swelled with love for him; and this time, her brain had the sense not to fight it.

~~*~~

"Good night, honey.  Sweet dreams," Brady said, as he gave Meghan a kiss on the forehead and turned out her lamp.

"Night, Meghan," Chloe echoed from the doorway.  She tried not to think of what a perfect moment it was.  She tried not to think of how they could have passed for a family today.  But thoughts like that were getting harder and harder to suppress.  She should have left hours ago; but still she stayed, still she found reasons to delay going home.

"Good night," Meghan said sleepily, as Brady backed out of the room and joined Chloe at the door.

"Would you like some coffee?" Brady asked, as he shut the door to Meghan's room gently.  He looked at Chloe, his eyes full of the tender love that had kept her there for the past two days, when every rational impulse told her to leave.

It still did.  "Sure," Chloe agreed, following him downstairs.  But to cover for her easy acceptance, she added, "I should call Craig though.  He could come pick me up."

Brady turned towards her, his expression serious.  "I'd rather you didn't just yet, Chloe.  There's something I want to talk to you about."

"What is it?" Chloe asked, suddenly nervous.

Brady shook his head.  "In a few minutes.  Let me get the coffee first.  You wait here."  He left her in the living room curiosity still unsatisfied.  By the time he returned a few minutes later, she had exhausted every possible conversational topic that Brady could have in mind, and had come to one conclusion.

"Thanks," she said, accepting hers.  "Now, what's up, Brady?  I feel like I'm about to be put before the firing squad, and I really don't think I can handle much more drama right now, Brady.  So whatever it is, it can wait a few days.  I can't go through another huge scene.  I just can't."

"Chloe, calm down," Brady instructed gently.  "I don't plan on putting you through anymore.  I know you've had more than you can handle already.  That's actually what I want to talk to you about."  He smiled slightly, instantly putting her at ease.  "Come on."  He took her free hand and led her to a closed door that Chloe had assumed led to his study.  But she was wrong.  As she stepped into the room and Brady flicked on the light switch, she saw it was a third bedroom.

"Oh, Brady, it's lovely," Chloe exclaimed, taking in the wrought iron four-poster bed with the sheer white canopy and the lavender and silver accents throughout the room.  It was exactly the kind of room she would have chosen if she had been the decorator.  

"It's yours if you want it," Brady said, watching her reaction carefully.  As expected, she whirled around to face him, shock written all over her expression, as she struggled for words.  "Don't say anything until you hear me out.  I had this room readied months ago when you were still with Philip.  At the time, I thought you might need someplace to run to if things with him ever got out of control."

"But…but…why now?" Chloe spluttered, incapable of processing all that Brady was offering her, unsure what was expected of her.  "Why have me live here now?"

"Because you need someplace to rest and heal, Chloe," Brady answered honestly, his expression one of infinite concern.  "And I don't think you should have to run away across the country to find it.  I promise nothing and no one will be able to harm or hurt you here.  And nothing will be expected of you."  

He had read her thoughts.  As always, Brady was able to see through to her very soul.  She had never before found it quite as comforting as she did now.  Chloe shook her head in disbelief.  "Why are you doing this, Brady?  It's not your responsibility to fix my life, you know.  You've done more for me than anyone else in my life, and I've brought you nothing but heartache and misery.  What can you possibly gain by letting me stay here except more pain?"

Brady released a frustrated breath.  Would she never understand?  He took their coffee mugs and set them down before taking both her hands in his.  Her confused, anxiety-ridden eyes met his reluctantly.  "Chloe, listen to me.  You are what I want.  In any capacity, even as a friend.  You don't cause me misery.  You're the greatest source of joy in my life, and always have been.    I love you; and I say that not to obligate you into anything, but because it's the truth.  And I want you to live here.  Not as a stepping stone to getting back together or as a way to seduce you but as a place of refuge for you.  I want you to have someplace you can begin to heal from all the pain that Philip caused you.  And I can provide that for you."

It was too good to be true.  This had to be some sort of beautiful dream.  Brady's words acted as a healing balm for her wounded soul.  She felt something inside her give way.  She was through fighting his love, running away from it, trying to destroy it.  He loved her, and he always would, whether she deserved it or not.  She wasn't ready for a relationship again yet.  She might not be for a long time.  But she was willing to accept the priceless gifts of love and security he offered her.  She nodded weakly as she practically fell into his embrace.  "Thank you, Brady," she breathed, her words muffled by having her face buried in his shoulder.  "I know I shouldn't accept it, but thank you.  I'll stay.  If you're really sure, I'll stay."

Brady stroked her hair gently as he felt her body relax into his.  "I'm sure, Chloe," he breathed.  "There's nothing in the world I want more."  He breathed a silent prayer of gratitude as he heard her sigh in his ear.  She had finally come to him.  His Diva was finally home where she belonged.  


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

"Brady, are you sure this is a good idea?" Belle asked, in a tone that left no doubt that she thought it was a huge mistake.  Belle Black-Brady surveyed her brother with critical eyes.  She had been worried about his potential involvement with Chloe as far back as her Thanksgiving visit; and now, all her reservations seemed justified.  "I mean, Chloe doesn't need to move in with you to stay in Salem.  She can stay with the Wesleys.  I really don't know why you're doing this."

Brady took a drink of his coffee in order to keep himself from saying something to his sister that he'd regret the moment her baby blue eyes welled with tears.  He knew she thought she was looking out for both him and Chloe, but she didn't understand their relationship.  She never truly had; and having been gone so long, she was even more inadequate to deal with this.  "I'm doing this because Chloe needs someplace she can feel safe, Belle, someplace she can recuperate."

"And she can do that better in your place than in her own home with her parents to protect her?" Belle retorted, clearly doubting the purity of Brady's motives.  She wished Shawn were here to back her up; but for some reason, he supported Brady's decision.  So she had taken it upon herself to convince Brady what an error in judgment this was over lunch at Brady's Pub.

"Of course, the Wesleys could protect her, Belle.  They love her, and they'd do anything for her.  But what Chloe needs more than anything right now is a fresh start.  And the Wesleys' house is too full of memories, both good and bad.  Oh, and for the record, Craig and Nancy support us and what we're doing.  As do Dad and Marlena, which I'm sure you know already or you wouldn't be here.  The only one who seems to have a problem with this is you, Tink.  Feel like telling me why?"

Belle suppressed a groan of frustration.  She hated her brother's ability to turn any conversation around to make it uncomfortable for her.  She was supposed to be the one asking the tough questions, not him.  "Because I know how deeply she hurt you, Brady," Belle admitted, immediately seeing Brady's defenses come up.  He was going to stand up for Chloe, she knew, but she still had to say her peace.  

"I was the only one you ever let see that pain, so don't try lying about it now.  She broke your heart when she married Philip.  And I know you're going to say he trapped her into it.  But he didn't.  Not really.  A college rejection letter is no excuse for walking away from the love of your life.  I'm not saying this because I don't like Chloe, Brady.  You know I do.  She's one of my best friends.  But you're my big brother, the person I love most in the world, excepting Shawn.  And I'm just afraid she's going to break your heart all over again."  

Brady sat in silence for a moment after Belle finished her spiel, as if waiting for her to say something more.  Finally, he replied, in a harder tone than Belle could ever remember him using with her before.  "First of all, it is not your job to protect me, especially not from something I know isn't going to hurt me.  Secondly, you keep going back to the fact that Chloe broke my heart; but when you give your heart to someone, it's not on the condition that they never hurt you.  You taught me that, Belle.  If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change one moment I spent with Chloe.  But finally, and most importantly, that's not what's really upsetting you, so why don't you just tell the truth, Belle?"

Brady's eyes were blue steel as they searched his sister's face.  Belle looked away guiltily, unable to bear his perusal.  "I don't know what you're talking about," she answered huffily.  "I was just trying to give you a word of warning; but if you don't want to listen, that's fine with me.  It's you life."

"Had any chats with Sami or Mimi lately, Tink?" Brady asked pointedly, his tone telling her there was no way she was going to be allowed to continue lying to him or herself.

"What do they have to do with anything?" Belle snapped, but her red face gave her away.  Why did Brady always have to see through her so clearly?

"I'm sure they gave you an earful," Brady went on nonchalantly, but his eyes were still blazing with fury.  "All about how poor Philip was cheated on by his deceitful wife, how she had the gall to leave him on Christmas Day, how it was divorce papers that sent him over the edge.  Does that about sum it up?"

"Look, Brady, I know what a jerk Philip was to her," Belle defended herself.  "Those things he did to her were unforgivable.  Maybe she had no choice other than to act the way she did.  I really don't know.  But you'll have to forgive me if I don't want you hooking up with her again.  Who's to say she won't do the same to you?"

Brady laughed harshly.  "Drive me insane, you mean?  Sorry to burst your bubble, little sister; but you can't blame Philip's lunacy on Chloe.  She was the object of it, not the cause.  And I guess you're entitled to whatever story you want to believe, but this is the truth, in simple terms.  Chloe is the victim.  She needs time to heal, and people around her who can support her through it.  I love her, and I'm going to be by her side every step of the way.  What you do is entirely up to you."  He started to slide out of their booth.

Belle caught his hand, looking at him with the pleading eyes that had kept him wrapped around her little finger since the day she was born.  "Wait, Brady.  Don't go.  I'm sorry.  Please forgive me.  I've been home for less than a month.  I don't want to be fighting with you already."

Brady saw the sincerity of her apology, but he also noticed everything she didn't say.  "I love you, Tink; and I forgive you," he said honestly, giving her hand a light squeeze.  "I don't want to fight with you either.  I missed you too much while you were away.  But you've got to understand something.  Chloe is my first concern right now.  Think what you want to think; but if you ever say one word to hurt Chloe or make her feel more guilty—"

"I won't," Belle promised, cutting him off.  She didn't think she wanted to know the consequences of such a thing.  "I would never, even if you weren't involved.  Like I said, Brady, Chloe is my friend.  I may have reservations about your involvement with her, but I would never want to hurt her.  You're right.  She's been through too much already.  And who knows?  You might be right about the rest of it too."

"Aren't I always?" Brady returned cockily, before flashing her a bright smile.  "Don't worry, Tink.  This is a new beginning.  For all of us."

~~*~~

All her suitcases and boxes were packed and lined up against the wall, ready for her move to Brady's that night.  Only one box remained on the bed in the middle of the room, and it wasn't a packing box.  It was her wooden box of memories, and she was opening it now for the last time.  After today, she would put it in storage and leave it behind for years to come, perhaps forever.

Chloe had decided that it was better that way.  The memories contained inside were only bittersweet at best, because they would always be connected with what she lost, what she had thrown away, what she could never reclaim.  A new start, that's what Brady promised her.  A time to heal and move on and make new happy memories, untarnished by the cloud of regret.

But first, she had to let go of the past, one memory at a time.  Chloe removed the lid and stared down at the familiar assemblage of treasures.  Old photos, letters, and gifts that had sustained her through a time when she'd lost everything else.  She saw the adorable face of the teddy bear Brady had given her all those years ago peeking out through the rest.  Smiling, Chloe pulled him out and gave him a hug.  "Don't worry, Teddy.  You don't have to go into icky old storage," she comforted him.  "I know a little girl who is just going to love you."

Settling the teddy bear down in her lap, Chloe continued to sort through the clutter, smiling softly as she recalled her high school life.  Sorting through a stack of cards, she frowned as an unfamiliar envelope attracted her attention.  "That's strange," she murmured.  Flipping it over, she saw it was addressed to Belle in Brady's familiar handwriting.  Chloe gasped, suddenly remembering the letter Belle had given to her last Thanksgiving.  She had never opened it.

Every time she had thought about it, something had stopped her.  So she had hidden it from Philip's prying with all her other prized possessions and forgotten about it.  She eyed the envelope speculatively, twisting it round and round between her fingers.  Did she really need to open it now?  Belle had given it to her when she was still married to Philip.  Chloe still wasn't sure why.  But everything had changed since then.  There probably wasn't even anything relevant in there for her.  But if she didn't open it now, she never would.  It would be put away with everything else, and she'd never know what Brady had written that Belle thought was so important for her to read.

Her curiosity got the better of her.  Chloe opened the envelope and pulled out the letter, surprised when no inner warning bells went off, telling her to stop.  She skimmed through the letter.  Brady mainly wrote about family and business concerns, and Chloe was having trouble understanding why Belle had been so determined she read it until she got to one particular passage towards the end:

_"Princess von Hamburg came to see me this week.  She has an idea for opening a free daycare facility for low-income families.  I've committed Basic Black's full financial backing to the project.  And don't even think about writing back some gushy letter about how sweet I am.  You know how much I hate that.  Besides, I did it for Chloe.  I know you're still angry with her, and I know that's mostly my fault.  I'm not sure I'll ever fully get over it myself.  But the truth is, I never deserved her love.  Yet for some reason, I was blessed enough to have been loved by her, for whoever short a time.  _

_"I know you won't understand, Belle.  You couldn't possibly.  But when the Princess was describing the lives of these children—especially the foster children—I saw Chloe in them.  For so long, all I ever wanted was to help Chloe; but I couldn't.  Maybe this is a way of making up for my failure.  I don't know.  I feel I owe it to her somehow.  She was the best thing that ever happened to me.  For a short time, I had more then I ever dreamed I would.  She made me who I am, Belle.  If not for her, I would have stayed angry, bitter and cynical all my life.  If not for her, I never would have known how beautiful life could be.  I love her, Belle.  Then, now, and always."_

Chloe couldn't believe the words she had just read.  She read them over and over again, allowing their full weight to sink in.  This was written before she had given him the slightest explanation for why she'd broken up with him so suddenly.  This was written before he had any idea that she still loved him.  At the time, Brady thought she loved Philip.  She had broken his heart, torn it out from his chest and stomped all over it.  And still, he wrote such things about her.  

He wrote that he started that daycare in tribute to her.  He wrote that she had transformed him, that he loved her, that she made his life beautiful.  He wrote that he didn't deserve her.  Brady not deserve _her!  Brady deserved a thousand times better than her.  It was Chloe who was the undeserving one.  All the love, care, and protection he had had shown her; and still, all she ever seemed to repay him with was heartache and misery.  Her self-control evaporated yet again, and Chloe collapsed onto the bed, her body wracked with sobs.  Would she ever run out of reasons to cry?  Much more of this, and they would lock her up.  She must be going crazy.  Everything set her off lately, even a meaningless letter written years ago._

A knock sounded on her door, and Craig peeked his head in.  "Chloe?  Sweetheart, are you okay?  What's the matter?" he asked, coming in and pulling her into a soothing, fatherly embrace.

"Brady loves me," she wailed, crying even more hysterically.  She knew her words didn't scratch the surface of what was wrong with her; but at the moment, eloquence was beyond her reach.  She didn't think even she knew why she was crying.  She could only sob until the point of exhaustion.  

Craig could only put her back awkwardly, confused.  Why exactly was Brady loving her a bad thing?  He wished fervently that Nancy or Brady would get here soon.  He wasn't sure that this was a conversation he was equipped to handle.  "Of course, he does, Chloe.  Is there something wrong with that?  I don't think I quite understand."

Craig's clinical but concerned tone was the best medicine for Chloe at that moment.  It made her realize she had to get control of herself.  She pulled away, trying to stop her tears as she reached for a tissue.  "I don't understand either, Craig," she confessed when she'd regained some semblance of normalcy.  "I don't know why he loves me.  There's nothing lovable about me.  I don't understand why it made me cry, why everything makes me cry now.  I don't understand anything anymore."

Craig took in her bewildered, distressed expression sympathetically.  He smoothed down her hair.  "You want my opinion?  You've been through a lot, Chloe.  A hell of a lot.  And not just lately, it's been going on for years.  It's finally catching up with you, that's all."

"But when will it be over, Craig?" she pressed desperately.  "I want to feel normal again.  And not just for my sake, for Brady's too.  He loves me so much, and he's waited so long for me and been through so much for my sake.  I love him, Craig.  More than my own life.  I want to be able to give myself to him completely.  But I just can't, feeling this way.  I want to have more to offer him than a broken, scarred woman with shattered dreams.  I want to come to him as the Chloe Lane he fell in love with."

Craig cupped her chin lovingly.  "You will, Chloe.  But you've got to concentrate on healing for yourself first.  May I make a suggestion without alienating you too much?"  Chloe nodded soundlessly, too defeated to care.  "I think it would be a good idea for you to see a therapist for a while to help you sort through everything.  It might be better for you than you think."

Chloe's instant reaction was to decline.  She didn't want to pour her heart out to a complete stranger.  But the more she thought of it, the more she saw the sense in it.  She needed to talk through these issues, and it might be nice to have the benefit of someone who not only would be able to diagnose what she was feeling but would also be uninhibited by any kind of personal relationship with her.  "All right, Craig.  I'll go."

Craig was taken aback by her easy acceptance.  He had expected a huge battle before she would even agree to consider it.  Obviously, even Chloe realized how deep her problems ran, how much trauma she'd suffered at Philip's hand.  Still, he couldn't help but feel a bit optimistic.  However bad the circumstances were that brought it about, Philip was finally out of her life.  For good.  She would be living with Brady and Meghan, the two people who made her happier than anyone else.  He had a feeling it was only a matter of time before all of Chloe's wishes came true.

~~*~~

Brady stood on the balcony, staring out at the lights of Salem as he had so many times before.  Only this time, his companion was contentment rather than depression.  Inside, at this moment, his Diva and his daughter slept peacefully.  They were safe now.  No one would hurt them ever again.  He would make sure of it.  But tonight, all he needed was to let it sink in.  The war was finally over.  No matter what else came their way, they would handle it.  Together.

A sudden noise behind him caused him to turn around.  Brady smiled when he saw Chloe there, warmly enveloped in a thick comforter.  "I thought you were asleep," he said softly as she stepped out to join him.

Chloe shook her head.  "I couldn't.  It takes awhile to get used to a new room, I guess."  She didn't add the rest.  She didn't tell him that she had somehow sensed the moment he came outside and had felt suddenly alone.  "Brrr.  It's the middle of winter, Brady.  It's freezing.  How can you stand it out here?"

Brady rubbed her arms vigorously through the layers of blanket.  "I'm used to it," he shrugged.  "But it's too cold for you.  We should go inside."

"Oh, please," she countered, placing a hand to his chest and smiling gently up at him.  "Let's stay.  I like it here with you.  It's peaceful."  She liked it anywhere with him.  She felt at peace anywhere with him.  But she didn't feel ready for that conversation yet.  It was too soon.  She just wanted to soak up the security and warmth his presence brought with it.

"Okay," he relented.  But still afraid she'd be too cold, he stepped behind her and enfolded her in his arms as they both looked out over the view he had once thought he would never be able to share with her.  He found quiet satisfaction in the feel of her body pressed against his, the soft scent of lilac in her hair.  This was heaven, and he hoped it never ended.

Chloe could feel Brady's warm breath in her ear as she relaxed completely in his strong arms.  She felt at home, at peace.  None of the doubts, fears, and depression that had plagued her all day could come near her when Brady held her.  He was her protector, her barrier against the cold realities of life.  She sighed contentedly.  "Thank you, Brady."  

"You don't need to thank me, Diva," Brady responded instantly, not even needing to ask what she was thanking him for.  "You've already thanked me more than enough.  Besides, like I said, I want to do this.  I want you here where I can look out for you."

Chloe laughed.  "You truly are your father's son, aren't you?  The hero always.  I really should yell at you for being so blatantly chauvinistic.  But I must be a stereotype too, because I admit that I feel better knowing you're here to take care of me."  
  


"There's nothing typical about you, Chloe Lane," Brady objected, the smile apparent in his voice.  "But I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure you're safe, whether that makes me old-fashioned or not.  It's not like I want you pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen, Chloe.  In fact, I don't want you anywhere near my kitchen."  He received a sharp poke in the ribs for that comment but responded only by enclosing her even tighter in his strong arms.  "All I want is for you to know that you're home now."

"I know, Brady," Chloe whispered.  She smiled wistfully, letting the last of her worries slip away.  Home.  Home with Meghan.  Home with Brady.  She didn't need to think beyond that.  The future would write itself; but if she had Brady by her side—in any capacity—she wasn't afraid.  She could handle it.  They'd already come through the worst.  Now, it was time to rest and heal.

Brady could feel her shivering even through the comforter.  As much as he hated to end their moment together, he'd hate himself if she caught cold from the winter air.  "That's it.  You're going to bed," he ordered.  Ignoring her sputtered protests, he swept her off her feet and carried her inside and all the way to her room.

Chloe tried to hide her pleasure at being in his arms behind a mask of anger.  "I'm not a child, Brady Black.  You can't send me to bed like Meghan.  Put me down this instant," she commanded in mock outrage, secretly hoping he never let her go.  

"Okay," he relented, unceremoniously dropping her on her bed and grinning down at her devilishly.  

She rolled her eyes.  "You're impossible, Black.  I don't know why I put up with you," she lied.  She had a list of reasons that would take her all eternity to name.

He winked at her, causing warmth to flood through her entire body.  How long had it been since she felt this alive?  If he didn't leave now, she'd forget all the reasons it was too soon for this.  It had been so long since she had felt this kind of longing.  Philip had inspired nothing in her but revulsion.  Whereas Brady…but better not to dwell on that.  Brady seemed to pick up on her confusion and respected it.  "Good night, Diva," he said gently.  "Sweet dreams."

Chloe shivered at the tone of his voice, part of her dying to call him back as he slipped quietly out of her room.  But she didn't give in to the passing desire.  It wasn't time.  Not yet.  They needed time first.  Time to grieve.  Time to heal.  Time to fall in love again.  


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

Brady had known he was in for it the moment Greta came through the door.  The look on her face had told him she was in no mood to take prisoners.  And he had been right.  He had barely had time to say hello when she accosted him with, "What the hell is your problem?"

"Nice to see you too, Princess," he returned coolly.  "How's your day been?  Mine was fine until some crazy woman barged into my office and started yelling at me for no apparent reason."  
  


Greta gave him a withering stare worthy of her royal status as she sank into one of the plush chairs in front of his desk.  "You're not nearly as amusing as you think you are, Brady," she returned.  "And don't even think you're going to worm your way out of this conversation with your smooth talk and that gorgeous grin.  I'm practically a big sister to you, and I refuse to be charmed."

Brady released a frustrated sigh.  "Well, then, sis, would you mind telling me why you're upset with me at least?  Because I'm drawing a blank.  What exactly have I done?"

"It's not what you've done.  It's what you haven't done," Greta returned testily.  "I had a rather enlightening conversation with Meghan today.  She told me that in the three months Chloe has been living with you, she's never seen you so much as kiss her.  No 'I love you'.  No gestures designed to sweep her off her feet.  Nothing.  I know that there's such a thing as being a gentleman, Brady.  But trust me, that time has been and gone.  It's time for you to take action."

"Are you finished yet?" Brady asked dryly, taking in her flushed face and the excited gleam in her eyes.  Once Greta was on a mission, it was almost impossible to get her sidetracked.  

"For the moment," she answered curtly.  Greta hadn't needed Meghan's account today to know that Brady and Chloe's relationship was at a standstill.  It had been frustrating the hell out of her for weeks now.  She had been watching their relationship for too long not to be personally invested in it.  And they deserved the fairy tale ending they'd been waiting so long for.

"Okay.  Then would you mind letting me talk for a moment?" Brady gritted through clenched teeth as he tried to remain calm, forcing himself to remember that Greta was a dear friend who was only trying to help.  "What goes on between Chloe and me is no one's business but ours.  Not yours.  Not even Meghan's.  And I'd really appreciate it if you didn't interfere."

"Too bad," Greta trilled brightly, with a mischievous smile.  "Obviously, you lack sufficient courage to make the first move.  I suggest you either find it, or expect us to take the initiative."  Seeing the mutinous look on his face at her playful threat, Greta softened her manner.  "What is it, Brady?  Why won't you just take the next step with Chloe?"

Brady leaned forward, rubbing his temples compulsively.  He could already feel the headache coming on.  "It's not that simple, Greta."

"Has anything with you and Chloe ever been simple?" Greta drawled.  "Look, you relationship has always been complex and difficult.  I get that.  But where exactly is the harm in just talking to her, finding out where she is on the issue?"  She was almost certain that Chloe was just waiting for Brady to let her know he still felt the same way.  The girl was practically pining away for him.

"The harm is that I offered her a place to stay, with no strings attached," Brady explained, with waning patience.  "I specifically said it wasn't with the intention of getting her back.  And it wasn't.  So if I go to her now, it makes me a liar, a hypocrite, a manipulator.  And I would never do such a thing to her.  She went through so much, Greta; and she finally feels happy and safe and content.  I won't be the one to rob her of that."

Greta felt her heart constrict.  He really was perfect.  Why couldn't there be more like him?  "So you're just going to let things stay this way?" she asked sadly.  "How can you stand it?  I know how much you love her, Brady.  This must be killing you."

Brady smiled softly, shaking his head.  "It's the happiest I've ever been, Greta.  For five years, I got used to coming home to an empty apartment every night.  I got used to loneliness and the meaninglessness of life.  Now, every night I come home, and my daughter rushes into my arms to give me a hug, just because.  And Chloe's there, smiling, asking me about my day, telling me about hers.  Everything is beautiful, almost perfect.  We're a family, Greta.  An unconventional one, I know; but a family all the same."

Greta felt envy surge through her.  What right did she have to sit in judgment of Brady when he had found something she'd never had and might never find?  There was something beautiful in that kind of self-denying love.  "I'm sorry, Brady," she apologized softly.  "You're right.  I don't have any right to interfere.  Especially now, knowing how happy you all are."

Brady saw the direction his friend's thoughts had taken.  He immediately got up and came around to her, pulling her into a comforting embrace.  "It's all right, Greta.  You'll find someone.  Somewhere there's a man perfect enough even for my best friend."

Greta pulled away, smiling weakly.  "Well, if you see him, would you mind giving him directions to my place.  I'm afraid he might get lost on the way."

Brady laughed.  "I promise.  I'm sorry, Greta; but I have to cut this short.  I have a meeting now.  But would you like to join us for dinner?"

Greta shook her head.  "No, that's all right.  Hope and I are having a girl's night out tonight.  Besides, I'm not so sure I'd be able to handle a whole meal with you and Chloe without screaming at you to kiss already.  And I would hate to disrupt your perfect family that way."  She wrinkled her nose at the absurdity of it all.

Brady chuckled.  "You'd be in good company at least.  I doubt there's anything you could say or do that Meghan hasn't already tried.  You should have seen the place on Valentine's Day.  Red roses everywhere.  She must have been saving up her allowance for weeks."

Greta said nothing.  She didn't think Brady would appreciate knowing that Meghan had been working with a co-conspirator.  Especially as the whole plan had backfired.  Meghan had suffered a severe allergy attack from all the pollen and had to be rushed to the hospital, killing any chance for a romantic evening for Brady and Chloe.  "Well, I'd better be going then.  Bye, Brady."

"Bye, Greta," Brady returned as he saw her out.  He watched her go, feeling that growing sense of discontent.  He had meant every word he said to Greta.  These past few months had been heaven, even with Chloe's occasional bouts of depression.  Those had been coming less and less often though lately.  She hadn't had one all month actually.  She was getting decidedly better.  She could hear Philip's name now without cringing or bursting into tears.  Just the other night, they had actually had a rational conversation about him where Chloe had admitted that she was starting to accept the fact that Philip's death wasn't her fault.

With such positive signs, Brady should have been on cloud nine.  But he wasn't.  And much as he hated to admit it, he knew why.  He wanted more.  In the beginning, it had been enough just to have her there, just to be able to see her beloved face every morning and hear her beautiful voice every night.  He had been able to take care of her, to help her through, to make her smile.  He had told himself that it was enough; and at first, he had believed himself.  But not anymore.  Brady tried his damnedest to push his hopes and dreams of more aside, knowing there was no point to them.  He had to forget about them.  He had made his bed when he had promised her a refuge.  And now he had to sleep in it.  Alone.

~~*~~

Belle studied her friend's face with concern.  She had long ago gotten over her anger and doubts about Chloe and joined the growing camp of people who were anxiously awaiting the day when Brady and Chloe would finally get together.  Even Mimi had asked about them the other day.  Dr. Wesley and Marlena had actually started a secret pool to name the day they announced they were an item.  Belle's day was fast approaching.

"Isn't this a beautiful day?" she began innocently, looking around the park and watching Meghan, JT, and Isaac play.  "You know what it reminds me of?  That day in high school when the four of us came here on a picnic.  Do you remember that day, Chloe?  It was early spring just like now, and Shawn and I—"

"Oh, why don't you just come out and say it?" Chloe snapped, interrupting Belle's exasperatingly long way of getting to the point.  "It was the first day Brady and I said 'I love you' to each other.  You know damn well I haven't forgotten."

Belle forced back her laughter at Chloe's highly volatile reaction.  She didn't think it was exactly the best way into Chloe's confidence.  "Sorry," she said meekly.  "I was just suddenly reminded."

"No, you weren't," Chloe returned curtly.  "You were just trying to take the backdoor in.  So why don't you just ask me what you want to ask me and get it over with already?"  She was tired of all the games people were playing, all the ways they skirted around the issue.  It only aggravated her growing impatience with the situation.

"What's going on with you and Brady?" Belle blurted out, all attempts at tact forgotten.  "I mean, I know it's not exactly my business.  But he's my brother, and you're my best friend, so you've got to admit I at least have the right to be curious."  She smiled sweetly, confident in her abilities to worm her way into even the hardest of hearts.  "Besides, I've got to know whether or not I should be telling the little one about his Aunt Chloe or just plain Chloe Lane."

Chloe rolled her eyes at Belle's blatant attempt at manipulation.  "Belle, you're all of four months pregnant.  I really don't think what you call me is going to be an issue for a long time.  You've just got Shawn so wrapped around your little finger now that he's going to be a daddy that you think you can use the same bribery with everyone else," she teased.  She really had every intention of telling Belle the truth of the matter—boring as it was—but she'd make her suffer a little more first.  It made it so much more entertaining.

"Oh, please, Chloe," Belle whined, resorting to abject begging in the face of Chloe's first denial.  She yanked on her friend's arm childishly and pouted her baby lips.  "Come on.  You know I live vicariously through the lives of others.  You've just got to tell me."

Chloe sighed, finally relenting.  "Oh, all right.  If you must know…"  She paused dramatically, enjoying the look of anticipation in Belle's bright blue eyes.  "Nothing.  There's nothing going on between us."

Belle groaned in frustration, pulling away, her shoulders slumping.  "I go to all that trouble and this is what you give me?  'Nothing.'  You're living together, Chloe.  You're raising a child together.  I wouldn't exactly call that nothing."

Chloe continued to watch Meghan play with the younger boys.  Meghan laughed suddenly, the sweet sound causing Chloe to smile softly.  It was moments like these that were doing more than anything to heal her heart.  Belle was right.  It wasn't nothing.  It was everything.  She had the family she'd spent her whole life dreaming of.  

When she'd first come to live with Brady, he had been her crying shoulder.  He had been there every time she had broken down, and that had been often.  But then time—and therapy—had started doing its job.  She started coping better, started being able to find joy in the daily presence of Meghan and Brady.  Now, she felt whole again somehow.  Philip's memory seized to haunt her.  She finally had come to understand that Philip was accountable for his own actions, just as she was accountable for hers.  She certainly wasn't proud of all the things she had done, but she had reached a place of acceptance.

"I don't know what to say, Belle," Chloe admitted finally.  "We're at a good place right now.  It's…comfortable.  Meghan's happy.  Brady's happy.  Miracle of miracles, I'm happy.  Why should we jeopardize what we have now?"

Belle rolled her eyes.  "Hmmm.  Let me think," she said with fake thoughtfulness.  "Oh yeah, because you love each other!  Chloe, I know you've been through a lot.  So has Brady.  But can you honestly tell me that you want to spend the rest of your life as Brady's friend?  Can you look me in the eye and say that there isn't part of you that wants more?"

Chloe exhaled in defeat.  Belle was going to pry it out of her no matter how long it took.  "There's a big part of me that wants more, okay?  And it's growing larger by the day.  I look at him sometimes, Belle, and I forget to breathe.  I see him kidding around with Meghan or tucking her in at night, and I know I'll never love anyone the way I love him.  Every time he touches me—even if it's no more than a brush of the hand—my pulse goes through the roof.  He makes me weak, Belle.  He always has, and he always will."  By the time she finished her confession, her face was bright red.  It was the truth, but a truth she'd been keeping inside for so long that it sounded strange even to her own ears.

Belle smiled.  Now they were getting somewhere.  "So what's the problem, Chloe?  You love him.  I know he loves you.  Why don't you do something about it?"

Chloe shook her head dejectedly.  "Don't you think I want to, Belle?  I've waited so long to be with Brady.  I wanted to feel like I was complete in myself before I reunited with my soulmate.  And now, I finally do.  But I don't think Brady realizes it.  He treats me like a friend; and while I'm grateful that he respects me so much, I don't know what to do to make it clear to him that I still love him, that I'm ready to commit myself to him for the rest of my life."

Belle laughed, blue eyes twinkling with delight.  "Chloe, my brother is crazy, desperately, head-over-heels in love with you and always has been.  And as wonderful as that is, it makes him kind of an idiot where you're concerned.  He'd do anything, deprive himself of everything, before he'd risk pushing you away.  So spell it out for him.  Let him know exactly where you stand.  Believe me, he won't disappoint you."

Chloe bit her lip as she considered Belle's advice.  Could she really put herself forward that way?  Could she really take the risk of messing up their blissful lives, even for the chance of an unbelievable lifetime of love with Brady?  It would mean holding her heart out to him to accept or shatter as he chose.  She didn't really doubt his love for her.  He had proved it again and again over the years.  But she still feared her own inadequacy.  She feared she would do something to screw it up like she always did.

But then again, this could be the time for her to make it all right.  Brady had done everything for her, and yet he had been rejected by her time and time again.  It wasn't fair of her to expect him to make that leap of faith again.  It was her turn.  Her turn to risk it all.

~~*~~

"Evening, ladies," Brady greeted his family as he entered the penthouse apartment that night and found them seated at Meghan's piano.

Two smiling faces instantly turned towards him in welcome.  "Hey, Brady," Meghan said brightly as he dropped his jacket and briefcase and came to give her a hug hello.  Chloe smiled nervously at him, getting those awful butterflies in her stomach again.  She always seemed to when he entered the room lately.  She knew it was in expectation of something yet to come, something she was both dreading and longing for.

Brady pulled away from Meghan and grinned at Chloe.  "Hey, Diva."  He winked flirtatiously at her, pleasantly surprised when she blushed.  Maybe she was starting to feel it too, the return of that old love and desire.  He pushed the thought away.  There was no use even considering the possibilities.  He had made Chloe a promise, and he intended to keep it.  "So, what are you two up to?" he asked, surveying the sheet music and CDs scattered haphazardly around them.

"Working on the song list for the next benefit concert," Chloe commented, turning her attention back to the stack of papers in her hand in an effort to avoid having to look at Brady anymore.  Thinking became impossible when she was confronted with those eyes of immeasurable depth.  

"Oh really?  Come up with any good ideas yet?" he asked with unfeigned interest.  Chloe loved that about him.  He was concerned about everything in her life.  He rarely liked to talk about work the way Philip had.  Instead, family conversations revolved around Meghan and Chloe's activities.  He seemed to encourage them in everything they did.

"Chloe wants to do a Rodgers and Hammerstein theme," Meghan said, her excitement practically bubbling out of her.  "You know, like 'Getting to Know You' and 'Whistle a Happy Tune' from _The King and I.  And practically every song from __The Sound of Music.__  We might end up doing a medley of those since there are so many.  And 'Dites-Moi' from __South Pacific and stuff from __Oklahoma and __Carousel and everything.  It's going to be so awesome!"_

Brady grinned.  "I'm sure it will be, Meghan.  I've always been a huge fan of theirs, at any rate."  He shot Chloe a look to see if she remembered too.  If the color creeping into her cheeks was any indication, she did.  "So how long have you been at this?"

Chloe glanced at her watch, her eyes immediately flying open.  "It's seven o'clock!" she exclaimed.  "I can't believe I let time get away from me like this.  What are we going to do for dinner?"  She started to jump up.  

Brady gently grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back down.  "Relax, Chloe.  I'll make something.  You girls keep working.  How does spaghetti sound?"

"Not as good as pizza," Meghan hinted broadly, flashing him her most adorable smile.  "Please, Brady?  It's Friday.  Can't we have pizza tonight?  Puh-leeze?"

Brady laughed at her unnecessary begging.  "Fine by me.  Diva?"  Chloe nodded, smiling as Meghan indulged in a small happy dance.  "What kind would you like?"  They figured out an order that would satisfy all of them, and Brady placed the call.  

In no time at all, the pizza arrived, and the three of them—Brady had joined in the task—left the piano, their song list almost complete.  "So how was school today, Meghan?" Brady asked.

Meghan rolled her eyes, swallowing down a bite of steaming hot cheese pizza.  "Fine, I guess.  We had a math test.  Yuck.  Oh, tryouts for soccer are next week.  Can I go?"

Brady and Chloe interchanged looks, communicating in the silent parental language they had already learned.  Chloe nodded.  "Sure, honey," Brady gave their joint permission.  "Just get the details for us, and one of us will get you there.  Any homework?"

Meghan nodded.  "Yeah, but it's fun.  I have to write a paragraph about something I want, and why I want it."  She smiled inwardly, already picturing what their reactions would be when they heard her topic.

"Do you know what you're going to write about, sweetheart?" Chloe asked.  She already knew that Meghan wouldn't have an ordinary wish, like a new video game or a trip to Disneyland.  Meghan was not your average child, and she never failed to surprise them.

Meghan nodded again, doing her best to fight back the sudden urge to giggle.  "Yes, but I'm not going to tell you until it's written.  Then, I'll read the whole thing to you."

Brady eyed his daughter warily.  He knew that look on her face.  She was undoubtedly up to something, and he doubted he would be pleased with the results.  Still, he couldn't help but smile.  He didn't know what he would do without the little imp.  She already owned his heart completely.  He looked across the table to his other priceless angel.  "What about you, Chloe?  How did your classes go?"

Chloe beamed.  "Great.  I got an A on that test in music appreciation."  She still hadn't gotten over the thrill of being back in school.  She was only enrolled in a few classes in order to work around her therapy sessions, her volunteer work at the Children's Center, and Meghan's school schedule; but she found an amazing sense of accomplishment from them.  So Salem University wasn't Julliard.  So she probably would never open at the Metropolitan.  But she was going to become a music teacher; and maybe someday, if she was lucky, she would have the satisfaction of seeing one of her students in that hallowed place.

"Was there any doubt you wouldn't?" Brady teased.  He was even prouder of her than she was of herself.  She had made the decision to go back to school all on her own.  This was something she was determined to do for her own feeling of worthiness.  She paid for it out of the inheritance she had received from Philip's will.  Everything beyond the cost of her education she had given to one of Greta's charities.

And rather than selling the Kiriakis mansion, she had ordered it demolished, her reasoning being that nothing good could ever come out of that house of evil.  But something good had come out of the land it stood on.  Chloe had deed the property over to University Hospital for the construction of a home for the mentally ill.  Thanks to large donations from Basic Black, the project was already under construction.

Chloe laughed.  "I don't know.  But I still love seeing those nice red A's at the top of my papers.  Of course, now she's assigned us a huge report that's due next class, so I'm going to be working non-stop all weekend."

"Well then, Meghan, it looks like you'll have some company while you work," Brady said lightly.  "Why don't you both get to work after dinner?"

"Yes, Father," Chloe said in a syrupy sweet voice while she rolled her eyes at Meghan.  Meghan giggled.  But surprisingly, they both obeyed him.  Immediately after dinner, Meghan got a notebook and pencil and went to work.  Brady and Chloe both gaped at her in surprise.  Meghan never did her homework without at least an hour of procrastination and excuses.  

Shrugging, Chloe followed her example, sitting down at the computer to begin her research.  Brady smiled, surveying the quiet hominess of the scene before he too went to work.  Only his was clean up.  He did the dishes and tided up the music and CDs, being careful to work as quietly and unobtrusively as possible.  But Chloe couldn't help watching him.  How in the world had she gotten so lucky?  Brady did things like this without drawing attention to it in any way.  And he did it often, almost making her take it for granted.  Almost.

"Okay, I'm done," Meghan announced triumphantly, holding up a sheet of notebook paper and waving it dramatically in the air.  "Are you two ready to hear it?"

"Always," Brady said with a grin as he sank onto the couch.  Chloe left her computer screen to sit beside him, giving Meghan exactly the audience and the setting she wanted.  "We're listening."

Meghan cleared her throat before standing and facing them, her face buried behind the paper.  She wanted them to hear this, but she wasn't sure she wanted to see their faces while they did.  "Please hold all comments until after I have finished reading."  Brady and Chloe exchanged fond smiles.  Leave it to Meghan to find the drama in any situation.

"The thing I want most in the world is for Brady, my adopted father, to marry Chloe Lane," Meghan read.  She went on quickly, ignoring the sputtered gasps from the adults on the couch.  "Chloe lives with us and helps take care of me, like a mom; but she's not.  Having Chloe as my mom is only one very small reason why I want them to get married.  The main reason is because they love each other and always have, and I love them and want them to be happy.  They have been apart for years because of some very bad stuff another man did to them, but they still love each other.  I know.  I see it every time my dad looks at her.  I hear it in the way she says his name.  So my wish is for them to be together forever.  Why?  Because they love each other, and they both deserve to be as happy as they have made me."

There was dead silence for a moment after Meghan finished reading.  Gathering her courage, she lowered the paper to judge their reactions.  Brady was simply staring at her, stunned speechless and afraid to look over at Chloe and see her expression.  Chloe was watching Meghan fondly, torn between amusement and embarrassment.  "So what do you think?" Meghan asked nervously, breaking the tense silence.

"Well, it…it was well-written, sweetheart," Chloe stammered, studiously keeping her eyes averted from Brady's.  "But it might be a little…personal for this assignment.  I'll tell you what.  Why don't you go brush you teeth and get ready for bed?  We'll talk about this then, okay?  Brady and I need to talk about it together first."

Meghan nodded, biting her lip as she turned to face her still-silent father.  "Brady?" she asked timidly.  "Are you mad at me?"

Brady finally managed to pull himself out of it.  When he saw her worried expression, he forced a smile.  "No, Imp, I'm not mad.  Now, listen to your mo—Chloe."  Meghan's face lit up at his slip of the tongue while Chloe flushed with embarrassed pleasure.  

"Yes, Brady," Meghan said obediently, her eyes sparkling with mischief.  She knew this would work.  "Yes, my mo—Chloe."  With one more incorrigible grin at both of them, she wisely removed her presence.  

The silence reigned again as soon as she had gone, and Chloe was beginning to regret sending her away when Brady turned to her and made it all better by smiling and saying, "She'll never learn, will she?"

Chloe laughed, feeling the tension dissipate.  "No, I don't think she will.  And you do have to give her points for inventiveness.  We're lucky she's not a twin, or we'd be in the middle of _The Parent Trap in no time."_

Brady's rich laughter filled the room, making Chloe feel warmth surge through her.  Personally, she agreed with everything Meghan had said.  She just didn't have the courage to say it.  "So do you want to talk to her about it or should I?" she asked with a returning sobriety.

"I'll do it," Brady said firmly.  "As adorable as she is, she has to know that this behavior can't continue.  I'll explain the situation to her.  Again.  And this time, we'll hope she listens."

Chloe nodded, though inwardly she regretted that Meghan's plan had gotten no results.  Of course, it was in her power to change that.  He was sitting right across from her.  All she had to do was tell him she was ready.  Her heart began to pound at the thought.  This could all be settled now.  Tonight.  Taking a deep breath, she summoned all her courage.  "Brady, I—"

The door to the bathroom swung open, and Meghan bounced out.  "Okay, I'm ready," she declared.  "Let's talk."

Brady cast a curious glance at Chloe.  What had she been about to say?  Chloe just shook her head, indicating he should go to Meghan.  Sighing, he reluctantly got up and approached his freshly-scrubbed, pajama-clad daughter.  "Come on, Meghan," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder and leading her to her room.  "It's time we had a little discussion about the difference between parents and children."

Chloe watched them go, feeling mingled disappointment and relief that Meghan had stopped her from admitting the truth to Brady.  She knew her words would have been inadequate.  How could she possibly tell Brady how much he meant to her?  There weren't enough words in the world.  She went to her room, deciding to take a break from her paper for a few minutes.  She wouldn't be able to concentrate until she got this sorted out anyway.

She flopped down on her bed, passing over scenario after scenario for way to pour out her heart to Brady.  Nothing seemed right.  Nothing…until…Chloe smiled slightly, reaching for the phone and pressing one of the speed dial buttons.  "Hello, Greta.  It's me.  Listen, could you do me a favor?..."


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

You Must Love Me

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Chloe parked the car and trudged down to the river.  She only had half an hour before she had to pick up Meghan from school and take her to Greta's, and she knew where she needed to spend it.  She stopped in front of the tree Philip had carved his childish expression of love.  Ironically, the tree had developed root rot since then.  It was only a matter of time before it died.

Chloe felt surprising emotions surge through her as she stared at the initials carved into the bark.  Regret being the most definable one.  What had happened to that innocent boy?  How had he disappeared and become the crazed man who had made her life a living hell?  She wished with all her heart it could have ended differently.  She wished Philip had gotten the treatment he needed.  She wished he had made an effort to make a new life for himself without her.  

"I came here today, Philip, because I don't believe you're really in that grave."  She spoke softly, looking at the tree and remembering Philip as he had been.  "If your spirit is anywhere where it can hear me, it's here.  I had to come, for closure I guess, like my therapist is always babbling on about.  There are things I need to say to you, things I never had the chance to say.  And today is my last chance, you see.  Because tonight, I move on, Philip.

"I won't forget you," Chloe continued, managing to keep her voice stead.  "That would hardly be possible.  But slowly, little by little, I'll forget to remember.  I'm going to be happy, Philip.  I'm going to reclaim every joy you took from me.  Only they'll mean more now, because I know what it's like to be without them.  The things you did, the lengths you went to, in the end hurt you more than they hurt me.

"I'm not going to lie to myself or anyone else, Philip.  Just because you're dead, I'm not going to look back on our marriage and pretend it was something it wasn't.  I'm not going to pretend that we were happy.  I certainly wasn't.  And I don't think you were either.  If you were happy, if you were healthy, nothing I could have done would have been able to make you take your own life.

"But I didn't come here to yell at you.  There's no point.  I don't know where you are.  I don't pretend to understand what happens after you die.  I don't know if what I'm about to say means anything to you now.  But I have to say it, so that I'm finally free.  Forever.  And it's this:  I forgive you.  For everything you ever did to hurt me, for every lie you ever told, for every person I loved who you pushed out of my life, I forgive you.  And I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for marrying you when I shouldn't have.  As unfair as it was to me, it was worse for you.  I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted me too.  I'm sorry I couldn't forget about Brady.  I'm sorry I couldn't get you the help you needed."  

Chloe paused, listening to the birds chirping in the trees, the distant laughter of children.  She smiled softly, feeling more lighthearted than she had in years.  "So I guess that's it.  Tonight is the first day of my real life, Philip.  Hopefully, a life with Brady.  We'll have a life filled with laughter and love and joy.  I'm sorry you didn't have that chance.  But I can't spend my whole life regretting things I can't change.  So goodbye, Philip.  It ends now."  She turned and left the river behind her, feeling like she had left the weight of the world as well.  She grinned as she got into her car.  It was time.

~~*~~

Meghan pushed back Greta's curtain to watch from the window as Chloe drove away.  As soon as Chloe's car was out of sight, she turned back towards Greta, crossing her arms and stomping her foot in childish impatience.  "What's going on, Princess?  Why won't Chloe tell me?  Why am I staying with you tonight?"

Greta ignored her anger as she calmly went about fixing them a snack.  "Gee, Meghan, I'll try not to take that personally," she teased, trying to distract Meghan's attention.  She knew it was pointless, of course; but she tried anyway.  "Want some cookies?"  She placed the platter out on the counter to draw Meghan towards her.

"Sure.  Thanks, Greta," Meghan said, crossing the room and lifting herself onto one of the kitchen stools.  She obediently ate her snack, but the brown eyes glued to Greta's face told her in no uncertain terms that she still expected an answer.

"Any homework, Meghan?"  Greta knew that her delays were frustrating the girl, but she had given her word to Chloe not to say a word to Meghan; and she intended to keep her promise, no matter how hard Meghan pressed her.  

Meghan shook her head.  "No, but you still haven't answered my question, Princess.  What's going on?  Where are Chloe and Brady?"  As much as she liked Greta, she didn't like to be away from her adopted parents, especially when no one would tell her why.

Greta bit her lip, seeing the worry on the child's face.  She had to tell her something, or Meghan was going to drive herself crazy before tomorrow.  Greta sighed, leaning down with her elbows on the counter so that she was eye-level with Meghan.  "Everything's fine, Meghan," she reassured her.  "Just relax.  Brady and Chloe aren't going anywhere."

"Then why am I here?" Meghan asked, frustrated with Greta's half-answers.  "Just tell me, Greta.  What's going on?"

Greta shook her head, feeling the restricting bonds of her promise.  "I can't, Meghan.  I told Chloe I wouldn't say a word to you."  Chloe hadn't wanted Meghan to get her hopes up, in case things didn't work out.  Greta could understand that.  She was an adult, used to love failing; and still, she was practically dying with excitement and anticipation.  If things could work for Brady and Chloe, then there was still hope for love after all.

Meghan frowned, her mind running through a list of all the things Chloe wouldn't want her to know about.  Was she sick?  No, they'd have told her that.  Brady and Chloe believed in total honesty.  Besides, Chloe hadn't seemed down or depressed at all these past few days.  She'd been tense though.  Worried, maybe.  Excited, definitely.  Meghan's eyes lit up.  "Are she and Brady going out on a date?" she squealed.  She could tell by the look on Greta's face that she was right, or at least on the right track.  "I'm right, aren't I?  Chloe and Brady are going out.  Do you think they'll get married now, Greta?"  Meghan was literally jumping around the room with glee.

Greta groaned.  "Someday I've got to learn how to keep a secret," she muttered under her breath.  She watched for a moment as Meghan let out her joy with all the freedom and innocence of childhood.  Truth was, part of Greta wanted to do the same thing.  But she knew that, as the adult, it was her responsibility to calm Meghan down.  To that end, she clamped her hands down on the girl's shoulders.  "Meghan!  Meghan, settle down."

Meghan looked up at the princess, eyes brimming with love and laughter.  "I can't, Greta.  I'm just so happy!  Aren't you happy too, Greta?  After all this time and everything we've done, Brady and Chloe are finally getting together.  I bet it was that paper I wrote.  I knew that would make them see sense."

Greta sighed.  This wasn't going to be easy.  "Meghan, come sit and listen to me."  She took the child's hand and led her to the sofa.  "Meghan, I know that you want Chloe and Brady to be together, and I certainly haven't done anything to discourage your matchmaking efforts.  I want them to be together too."

"Everyone does," Meghan interjected brightly.  "Papa Wesley and Mama Wesley, Grandma Marlena, Grandpa John, Uncle Shawn and Aunt Belle….Do you think we could call Aunt Belle, Greta?  She'll be so happy!"

"No, Meghan," Greta said firmly, now fully comprehending why Chloe hadn't wanted Meghan to know anything.  "Because there's nothing to tell her.  Brady and Chloe aren't going on a date.  Not exactly.  There is no telling how tonight is going to turn out for them, and I don't want you to expect them to come through that door tomorrow and tell you they're getting married or something when there's no reason to believe anything of the kind."

Meghan rolled her eyes, ignoring Greta's words of caution.  "Okay, Princess.  Whatever.  But a girl can dream, can't she?"  And she would.  She would dream and hope and wish for Brady and Chloe to get back together tonight.  And secretly, Greta would do exactly the same.

~~*~~

Brady couldn't believe the day he'd had.  One crisis after another all day long.  He felt relieved just to be at his front door.  He wanted nothing more than to collapse on the couch and veg out all night long.  Maybe they'd order pizza again.  He knew Meghan would be delighted, even if Chloe would have some words to say about take-out twice in less than a week.

Brady opened the door and stood in shock.  What had happened to his house?  All the normal furniture had been moved out of the living room, except for the stereo system, which was playing soft music.  Instead, in once corner of the room, there was a small candlelit table set with dinner for two.  But Brady barely noticed that.  He didn't notice the dimmed lights, or the flowers Chloe had picked from the park near the gazebo only this afternoon.  It was hard to notice those kinds of things when there was an actual swing-set in the middle of his living room.  It was even harder considering the fact that a goddess in white satin was sitting on that swing-set, smiling shyly at him.

"Diva, what is this?" he finally managed to choke out, after an undefined time of just staring at her.  She was a vision.  Some enchanted, unearthly sprite sent her to torment him.  Her rich, dark hair was swept up and styled in intricate weavings and braids, except for two delicate strands which fell and framed her face perfectly.  The dress she was wearing was willowy and elegant.  It had short sleeves covering only her shoulders and leaving the perfect ivory tones of her arms exposed to his view.  The neckline went down in a demure V, revealing a tempting amount of dusky cleavage.  The dress descended all the way to the ground, each fold, each line seeming merely an extension of her.  She took his breath away.  Not that she didn't always.

Chloe felt some of her anxiety leave her when she saw the way that Brady was looking at her, but it was instantly replaced by a rush of heat.  _One thing at a time, she reminded herself.  She smiled softly at him.  "I thought I'd surprise you."_

Brady gave her a penetrating look.  She blushed under his scrutiny.  He decided to let it go for now.  Whatever it was, Chloe would tell him in her own way, in her own time.  He wouldn't pressure her.  "You succeeded," he said blithely, recovering his senses enough to put down his briefcase and enter the apartment.  Chloe took in how good he looked, as if that was anything new.  He shed his jacket, and Chloe loved how his solid muscles were clearly defined through his blue shirt.  He had already taken off his necktie and unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.  She fought back the urge to laugh.  Billionaire or not, he was the same old Brady.  Her Brady.

"Give me a push," she demanded, with the same childish pleading that always made Brady give her what she wanted.  She accompanied the command with an endearing smile that made her sapphire eyes sparkle.

Brady grinned.  "You're still just a big kid, aren't you, Chloe?" he teased.  She wrinkled her nose, refusing to dignify his words with a response.  "But do you really think it's such a good idea to swing in the top floor of an apartment building?"

Chloe smiled sheepishly.  "I had it inspected first.  It's perfectly safe.  Now, quit stalling, Brady.  Push me."

"Yes, ma'am," Brady responded in mock salute.  He went to the back of the swing and gave her a few pushes, finding delight in the overall picture she made, even from behind.  The dress was backless, and every time he pushed her, his fingers made contact with her soft silky skin.  The skirt of the dress floated delicately around her, adding to the ethereal look she had tonight.  She had done all this just to torture him.  Did she want him to suffer like this?  He needed to distract himself from his less than pure thoughts.  "Where's Meghan?"

It took Chloe a moment to process the question.  She was breathless, and she knew it had nothing to do with the gentle swaying of the swing.  It was from the thrill of electricity that went through her every time his skin touched hers.  "Huh?  Oh, she's at Greta's for the night."  Chloe nearly got whiplash as he pulled the swing to a sudden stop.

"Why?" Brady asked, forcing his voice to sound calm.  This couldn't mean what he thought it did.  This was all just a wonderful dream.  Any moment now, he'd wake up as he had so many times before.

Chloe took a deep breath to ready herself, before standing up and turning to face him.  He was watching her intently, his expression unreadable.  Belle was right.  She really was going to have to spell it out for him.  He was just too damn perfect to go back on his promise to her.  A promise she didn't want or need.  "Because I thought we could use the time alone, Brady," she said softly.  "There are some things I want—no, I _need to tell you."_

Brady continued to study her in that unnerving way of his, like he was taking her mind and heart apart piece by piece until he knew them better than she did.  She shifted slightly, her nervousness returning.  "Such as what?" he asked softly.  

Chloe bit her lip and shook her head.  "Not yet.  Let's have dinner first."  She breezed past him to the candlelit supper, willing herself to regain her composure.  She could do this.  She would do it.

Brady watched her carefully while her attention was averted.  He knew this night was going to change everything between them, for better or worse.  He was trying to keep himself from jumping to any conclusions about what she was going to say.  With Chloe, one could never be quite sure about anything.  But he'd have to be much denser than he was not to derive hope from the setting and situation.  Silently, he pulled her chair out for her before taking his own across from her.

"I did something today, Brady, that I want you to know about," Chloe said as they ate, after countless slow passing minutes of silence and strained small talk.  She was grateful for the way Brady wasn't pressuring her.  As always, he was letting her come to the point in her own time.  "I went to visit this spot that used to be special to me and Philip in high school."  She waited for some kind of outburst or lecture about moving on.  It didn't come.  Other than a slight wince when she said Philip's name, Brady's expression of interested watchfulness hadn't changed.  Feeling slightly relieve, Chloe took a deep breath and told him the important part.  "I went to tell him goodbye, Brady."

She half-expected Brady to laugh at her.  The idea of saying goodbye to someone already dead seemed a bit ludicrous even to her.  But Brady didn't laugh.  He just nodded, as if he understood, and waited for her to continue.  Brady knew exactly what to say to make her feel at ease and when to say nothing at all.  It was just one of the innumerable reasons she loved him so much.  "For so long, Philip controlled my life.  Even dead, the guilt he inspired kept me locked away.  I'm not sure I'll ever fully get over everything that happened.  I'm not sure I'll ever fully forgive myself for the role I played in his death."

Seeing Brady about to object, Chloe gestured for silence.  She needed to say this, needed everything out in the open if they were going to make a new start together.  "I know it wasn't all my fault, Brady, but I wasn't guiltless by any means.  I did so many things wrong, starting with the day I left you because of some stupid rejection letter.  I'm not sure I've made a right decision since that day.  But I'm making one tonight."  Her gaze and voice faltered momentarily.  "Brady, there's…there's something I need to tell you."

Brady could see she was starting to feel nervous again.  He didn't want that, not now that he fully realized where this was going.  Nothing could mar the beauty of this night, not even a minor case of the jitters.  "Chloe, dance with me," he invited her gently, standing up and extending his hand to her.  

Chloe looked up at him, grateful for the understanding in his eyes.  She slipped her hand into his, feeling more than electricity as his closed around it.  She felt security, peace, comfort, love.  All the things she'd been waiting so long for.  She got to her feet; and as he took her in his arms, any last doubt she had faded away.  One strong arm wrapped securely around her waist while the other hand continued to keep hers locked inside.  She let herself rest in his arms as they danced to the slow, jazzy melody.

_Count every raindrop in a thunderstorm_

_Count every wave upon the shore_

_I love you just as much as that_

_And so much more_

Unconsciously, Chloe began to sing along, her breath in Brady's ear.  Brady closed his eyes and tuned out the CD, listening only to his angel of music.  Long gone were the days when she hid her heart, kept it shut far away from her voice.  No, these weren't empty notes to Chloe.  These were the words that she'd been struggling to say all night, that she'd been trying to find a way to say to him for months.  She shouldn't have been surprised that music was the outlet she needed.

_"Take all the clouds that glide across the sky_

_And all the light within a moonbeam_

_And every bird that ever spread its wings to soar_

_How I love you as much as that_

_And so much more…"_

Chloe lifted her face away so she could look up at him.  Brady.  Her Brady.  How could she not love him?  He had been there for her through every single crisis she'd endured since she met him.  She could still remember the first time they'd met on that pier, the first time she'd discovered Philip had lied to her.  If only she'd been smarter then.  If only she'd realized then what the strange connection she'd felt for Brady truly was.  Of course, maybe she had known.  Maybe she'd been running from that love ever since.  Maybe that fear was what had really made her run back to Philip all those years ago.  But she would run no longer.

_"Count all the days that there are yet to be_

_And all the ones that came before_

_You have as much of me as that_

_And so much more…"_

For months now, he'd been taking care of her, sheltering her, bringing her through.  And not once had he taken anything for himself.  She'd seen him be the loving father and caretaker of Meghan, seen him prove time and time again that he truly was the most perfect guy in the world.  And he loved her.  That's where the true miracle was.  He loved her.  In spite of all the times she'd hurt him, all the times she'd rejected him, all the pain he'd been through, he loved her.  It was incredible, unbelievable, impossible.  How could she not love a man who'd shown her what unconditional love was all about?

_"Take every leaf that grows on every tree_

_And all the wishes in a daydream_

_And every not of every song we all adore_

_I'm there for you as much as that_

_And so much more…"_

Brady heard the tremor in her voice as she sang.  Was it even possible?  He struggled to breathe as the realization that his Diva still loved him sank in.  Not only did she love him, she was telling him that she was ready to be in love, to be in a relationship with him again.  She had known he wouldn't break his promise and had taken the risk for both of them.  She had turned the tables and put her own heart on the line.  Even the swing-set was proof of that.  A lifetime ago, they had sat and declared their love for each other, never dreaming of all the trials they would go through.  But still, their love survived.  Everything else, the dreams, the innocence, was gone.  Yet their love remained, even stronger than before.

_"Now add the stars and planets out in space_

_And all the miles that keep them far apart_

_Then how many, if there are any_

_More ways of counting things, let's start…"_

Chloe sang the words directly to him, seeing in his blue eyes that he understood exactly what she was saying.  Hadn't he always?  Even when she said nothing at all, he had understood.  Her azure eyes swam with tears as she realized that this was finally happening.  After all these years, she and Brady would finally be together.  She didn't even notice as the tears began to slip in silent rivers down her cheeks, sparkling in the dim glow of the candlelight.  She could only focus on Brady, only focus on the love that had pulled her through everything.

_"How many seconds does forever have?_

_How many creatures watch the sunrise?_

_How many ways to say the words I can't ignore?_

_How I love you, as much as that_

_As much as all that_

_And so much more."_

As the final notes of the song faded away, Brady gently kissed away the tears Chloe hadn't realized she had cried.  "No more tears, Diva," he instructed in a whisper.  "There's been enough crying."  He kept her face cupped in his hands as his gaze flickered from her eyes to her lips and back again.  He smiled when he saw the love and longing he was feeling mirrored in her eyes.  With infinite love, he lowered his lips down to hers, relishing the feel of her softness after such a long time apart. This was no stolen kiss on a moonlit night.  This wasn't forced or rushed or hurried.  This was a kiss of beginnings, of passion, of soul-stirring love.  As their lips blended in the sweet mission to reacquaint themselves with each other, Brady and Chloe felt the years of sorrow and separation melt away.  

Chloe let out a small sigh as they parted, not even noticing that her tears were still flowing despite Brady's words.  She laughed self-consciously.  "I had this all planned, you know?  We'd have dinner, and I'd explain it all, rationally, step by step.  That's why I had had this swing-set brought in.  I wanted to reclaim that moment.  I wanted it to be that simple, but—"

"It is that simple, Chloe," Brady interrupted her, taking her hand and leading her to the swing, where he pulled her down into his hap.  She wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling softly.  "Chloe Lane, there aren't words enough in the world to say how much I—"

"I love you, Brady," Chloe blurted out, repaying the favor of interruption.  "And I know you know that.  And I know you love me, too.  But you're wrong.  Everything has changed since then.  Isn't it funny how sometimes words you've waited so long to hear suddenly aren't important?  I don't need the words, Brady.  I just need you.  Here, by my side, every day of my life."

Brady raised his eyebrows, considering her declaration.  "You're probably right, Chloe," he said casually.  "I'm sure you don't need to hear words like 'I love you' or 'You're my life' or 'Will you marry me?'  Those just aren't that important."

Brady got his desired response.  Chloe's jaw dropped.  "What…what did you say?" she stammered breathlessly.

Brady shrugged, doing a reasonably good job at keeping his grin hidden from her.  "What's it matter?  Words aren't important, right, Diva?"

"Brady Black, don't you dare joke about this," Chloe warned seriously, her eyes searching his.  "What you said, did you mean it or were you just running your mouth off?"

He met her stare unflinchingly.  "I always mean what I say, Chloe.  You should know that by now.  But you're right.  Certain things must still be done the traditional way."  In a swift motion, he stood up, planted her on her feet, and knelt before her on one knee.  He took her hands in his, not a hint of humor in his eyes now.  "Chloe Lane, I love you.  I've always loved you and always will, whether you hear the word or not.  And I need you in my life.  Not as a roommate or a friend.  As a best friend, but so much more.  I need you as my soulmate, my other half, my lover, my wife.  Will you marry me?"

A strange thing happened.  The proposal had the opposite effect of all proposals in history.  It made Chloe stop crying.  Instead, as his words permeated her being and reached into her soul, she smiled.  Then, her smile became a grin, and her grin became a laugh.  A laugh of pure joy and release that sprang from the depths of her heart.  She dropped to her knees before him, taking his face in her hands.  "Yes, Brady, yes," she whispered, before bringing her mouth to his and kissing him with all the passion and love in her heart.  Brady's arms closed around her waist, pulling her closer, needing her more.  And Chloe surrendered entirely to him, feeling a bliss beyond anything she could have imagined.  Her heart had finally found its resting place, safe inside of his.

~~*~~

"Meghan, come away from the window," Greta instructed for the tenth time.  "You've got to eat your breakfast, so you're not late for school.  Trust me, Chloe and Brady won't be here this morning.  You'll see them after school."  As responsible and adult as she sounded, inside Greta was going just as crazy as Meghan with the desire to know what had happened last night.

"They'll be here," Meghan insisted, her brown eyes radiating confidence.  "Whatever happened, they'll want to tell me first thing, Princess."  Greta simply shook her head, putting Meghan's schoolbooks in her bag.  "They're here!"

Meghan's squeal brought Greta careening across the room, despite everything she had said.  Brady and Chloe couldn't see the two excited faces peering out at them from the apartment window.  But Greta and Meghan had a bird's eye view as Brady helped Chloe out of the jeep.  Both girls unconsciously held their breath as they waited for the tell-tale moment.  Brady used his hand to brush back Chloe's hair, and Meghan's fingers dug into Greta's arm in excitement.  The unknowing couple continued to talk below, as the spies upstairs pressed their faces to the glass in an effort to see better.

"They look happy, don't they?" Meghan asked nervously.  "Like they're back together.  Do you think they're back together, Greta?"

"I don't know," Greta replied hesitantly.  "They could be.  I…"  Her voice trailed off as her face lit in a beatific smile.  "Yes, Meghan, I think it's safe to assume that they're definitely back together."  She laughed softly as she watched the two lovers continue to make out beneath her window.

Meghan didn't even wait for Greta to finish her sentence before bursting out of the apartment and bounding down the stairs.  Greta watched in amusement as the little girl through her arms around the kissing couple.  She watched as Brady and Chloe broke apart to talk to their daughter.  And then, she turned away with a bittersweet smile.  In the end, it wasn't the grand moments that made the three of them a family.  It was the little ones, and Greta was never one to intrude. 

[Song credit:  "And So Much More" by Linda Eder.] 


	28. Epilogue

You Must Love Me

**Epilogue**

From the sliding glass door to the patio, Brady smiled fondly as he watched Meghan pushing three-year-old Julia Brady in the swing outside.  At fourteen, Meghan was growing up into a beautiful and loving young woman.  And she absolutely adored Shawn and Belle's little daughter.  It was generally known that Meghan was mainly responsible for her parents' decision to buy this house right next to Brady's sister and her family.  Meghan always had been able to wrap Brady around her little finger.  

Julia's giggles carried inside the house as the little replica of Belle at her age cried for "Higher, Meggie, higher!"  

Meghan obliged, laughing.  Seeing her father standing in the open doorway, she waved brightly at him.  "Hey, Dad," she called.  "Shawn and Belle needed a night out, so I volunteered to take Julia.  You don't mind, do you?"  

Brady shook his head, marveling again at the change in Meghan over the past four years.  She had gone from completely closed off to one of the most outgoing, precocious people he'd ever met.  And she clung with increasing tenacity to the whole of her extended family.  "Of course not, sweetheart.  Greta and her fiancé are coming over for dinner though, so would you mind setting the table?"

"Sure, Dad," Meghan agreed brightly, lifting the toddler out of the baby swing and settling her on her hip.  "Do you hear that, Julie?  Princess Greta is coming over!"  The little cherub giggled and clapped her hands as Meghan made her way back to the house.  

Brady abandoned his spot at the door to climb the stairs up to his room to change for dinner.  He stopped abruptly, hearing his Diva's gentle singing coming from another bedroom.  He smiled as he peeked into the nursery, watching as Chloe rocked their newborn son to sleep.  He felt his heart constrict at the gentle scene.  This was what he had been waiting for all his life.  It was in the love that filled Chloe's voice as she held the little boy so gently.  It was in the wonder in the large blue eyes of his son as he looked with untainted joy at the world.  It was in the sweet sounds of Meghan's laughter.  This was home.  

Chloe stroked the so soft cheek of her son as his eyes closed and she laid him down in his crib.  Only then did she look up and see her husband watching her with the softest expression she'd ever seen.  She put a finger to her lips as she moved past him and out the door, making sure to turn on the baby monitor on her way.  She leaned into Brady to give him a soft kiss and straighten his tie.  "What's that look for?" she asked.

He squeezed her waist lightly.  "All those words you never want to hear."  Then seeing her disapproving stare, he laughed.  Her stage of not needing to hear those words had lasted all of two days.  Just long enough for him to torment her about it forever.  "I love you, my Diva.  That's all.  I love you."  

Chloe gave him a charming smile as his reward.  "Well, of course you do," she said haughtily.  "You must.  I won't settle for anything less."  

The End


End file.
